It Only Happens at the Car Wash by GlassSuicune

Note: Mario and The Legend of Zelda belongs to Nintendo. Sonic belongs to SEGA. I got this idea when I had that 'Working at the Car Wash' song- whose real name and artist escapes me- stuck in my head. And trust me, wacky things happen when I get a song stuck in my head... Some inspiration taken from the old 'Super Mario Brothers Super Show', BTW. Imagine Mario and Luigi in their cartoon forms though. Any who, enjoy! Now...

"This" is speech.

This is memory lane.

'This' is thought.

'RING! RING! RIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!' went a pizza covered phone. "I got it Mario." said Luigi, picking up the phone, "Hello, this is Luigi, member of The Mario Brothers Plumbing Service. Our motto is 'You clog 'em, we fix 'em!' ...At least, seventy-percent of the time..."

"Good, then I dialed the right number, sweet. Now, I'm calling because of a, er, leak near the Emerald Car Wash. It's terrible, the entire block's getting flooded! You MUST come IMMEDIATELY!" replied a clearly impatient voice. "Uh, who is this?" Luigi asked.

"Never mind my name! You must hurry here, before even the city is flooded!"

"The leak's that bad? Seriously, is this an April Fool's prank? I mean..."

"Are you calling me a liar?! A prankster even?!"

"Well, no. It's just..."

"THEN COME!"

"Okay..."

The caller abruptly hung up, leaving Luigi stunned. "Hey Mario! We got a job!" he cried after having zoned out for a full three minutes. All of a sudden, he heard bouncy noises and his brother shouting at the top of his lungs, "Hi! It's a me, Marioooooooooooooo!" He then landed right in front of Luigi, with pure white wings in his hat. "Mario, those wings freak me out..." Luigi grumbled.

"Never mind them little brother, what's our job?" said Mario, still very cheerful. "Um, that dude said something about a leak near a place called 'Emerald Car Wash'. You know anything about it? 'Cause I sure don't..."

"Ah yes, it just opened a week ago. It's run by Sonic the Hedgehog and Miles "Tails" Prower."

"Wait a second, Sonic and Tails run Emerald Car Wash?!"

"Luigi, what on earth could you possibly have thought the 'Emerald' in its name meant?"

"Uh, I dunno. Real sparkly job?"

"Little brother, that isn't funny..."

Without another word Mario and Luigi headed outside and got into their car. Mario started it up and they drove out, with Luigi wondering if this was a good idea. He and Mario had some pretty bad encounters with Sonic and Tails. Luigi then looked terrified, remembering the last time they saw the cursed hedgehog and fox.

Memory lane.

Luigi looked at the canned tomato sauce with suspicion. Tails had given it to him, which was why he was worried. He thought once he opened it, paper snakes would fly out at him. Mario had a box of pasta that Sonic had given him. Something told him, 'Open it and you'll be sorry.'

Sonic and Tails watched from afar, not at all pleased with the two Italians. When were they gonna open the can and box?! If they continued just staring at the items, Sonic and Tails would go bananas.

Tired of waiting, Tails ran to Luigi and attached his claws to the can's lid, then tore it off. Coloured paper snakes flew out at poor Luigi, who jumped up into the balcony, smashing all the flower pots, setting off some alarms which made a Yoshi-like robot activate, smash the sliding glass door with its metal fists, grab Luigi and throw him at his race car, starting it up and then it driving off by itself with poor Luigi stuck in the back seat.

Tails laughed like a maniac, so did Sonic. According to Mario, Sonic repeated the action Tails did, with similar results. Needless to say, thanks to Blue Brat and Yellow Brat, Mario and Luigi couldn't race in Mario Kart Double Dash because both of their race cars had been totaled in the-accident-that-must-not-be-named involving a Link and Zelda whose powers obviously weren't trained...

Luigi took a deep breath, trying to keep from exploding. At times he thought Sonic was really the Devil and Tails was his top angel -scratch that- demon, because the 'cute and innocent' little fox certainly wasn't an angel. Same with Sonic. Heck, Sonic and Tails actually made their dark counterparts Shadow and Dr. Eggman look like the angels...and THAT is saying much...

And then there was Link and Zelda... The-accident-that-must-not-be-named involved the blasted elves unwittingly releasing a lava attack, which melted the race cars. Well, Mario always wanted to know what elves could do when they're scared...

Luigi sighed. Every time a new Link and Zelda were born, he and Mario always had accidents with them. When would the Zelda Character Group keep the freaks-in-training locked in some magic room until they could control their powers?!

Oh, right. Then they couldn't declare to the world what magnets for trouble they are.

Mario parked the car in front of Emerald Car Wash, and they got out. And then they heard blood-curdling screams. "Mama Mia! What the heck is THAT?!" Mario cried. "What do you think? It's Toon Link and Zelda, you know, the elves we almost ran over?" Luigi answered sourly, pointing to the elves who looked terrified.

All of a sudden, Anime Link and Zelda jumped in front of their Toon counterparts, glaring at Mario and Luigi menacingly. "Take one step closer to them and you're in for it." Anime Zelda hissed. "And she means it." Anime Link backed. Toon Link and Zelda were hiding behind them, keeping a close eye on Mario and Luigi.

The two plumbers carefully walked away from the elves, watching Anime Link and Zelda, who were like coiled cobras ready to strike. "Stay..." Luigi told them, wondering if they even understood the word. All four elves then sat down and waited. 'Mama Mia! These Zelda Characters scare me...'

Leaving them, Mario and Luigi headed towards the car wash. Completely unaware of the danger lurking nearby...or should I say the craziness lurking nearby?

Tails pushed the red button on the remote, causing Mario's car to start driving by itself. "Oh sweet pineapples! IT LIVES!" Toon Link and Zelda squealed, trying to run away. Anime Link and Zelda held them in place saying, "Luigi said 'Stay'. We sit. We stay."

Luigi ran back to the car screaming, "Where's the brake?! WHERE'S THE BRAKE?!" He hopped into the car, struggling to keep it from going into the car wash.

Realizing there was no way to stop it, Mario quickly put in an order for a regular car wash and paid the machine, before getting pushed into it by the car.

The sliding doors closed and the chaos began.

First the soap sprayer worked its magic, making Mario and Luigi look like snowman...only they were made of soap. Luigi brushed the soap off his face, and noticed Mario wasn't even in the car. 'Oh no, this is NOT going to end well...'

Water began spraying everywhere, soaking the poor plumbers. Luigi ducked under the car's dashboard as the huge cloth 'mitters' began spinning. The powerful force they created sent Mario flying into the air, and he too began spinning. "MAMA MIA!" he cried, as he flew over the car like a triangle-shaped UFO.

Luigi looked up and got hit in the face by the rolling mitter, making him fall backwards on the seat. It rolled to the back of the car. Luigi sat up, slightly dazed, and was then hit in the back of the head by the roller, making him go face-first into the dashboard.

Mario was still flying around, actually screaming, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" as he spun. Then the mitters stopped and he fell to the ground with a painful thud, and then was sprayed with more water. "Weeeeeeee..." he grumbled.

The car began moving, without Luigi's guidance. Mario then struggled to move out of its way. "Can't you stop the car?!" Mario cried. "It's controlling itself! I can't stop it! AND WHERE IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM IS THE BRAKE?!" Luigi yelled back.

The dryer then turned on, and Mario was sent flying backwards. Luigi held on to the steering wheel with all his might as his body was lifted by the sheer force. "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!" Mario cried. Luigi began to wonder if his brother had received quite a blow to his brain.

The dryer stopped and Mario again landed with a painful thud. The car then drove out by itself, but Luigi stopped it from going any further. "Oh lookie, I found the brake..." he grumbled as Mario walked out, squeezing the water out of his hat.

Sonic and Tails were laughing their heads off. It may not have been their best prank, but it was funny none-the-less. "Hey Tails, what do you think we should do to them next?" Sonic asked. "I dunno, maybe have them perform dental work on Perfect Chaos?" Tails replied.

"You have a twisted mind buddy."

"I know. Thanks."

Anime Link and Zelda opened their eyes and screamed, "WE WERE NOT SLEEPING!" Then they noticed Toon Link and Zelda were missing. "Where did the brats go?" Anime Link asked. "Well, if we knew, would we be looking for them?" Anime Zelda replied sourly.

Mario and Luigi then saw the young elves looking at them. Toon Link and Zelda's eyes widened when they saw Mario. Luigi then noticed what they saw. Something was missing... "Mario, your mustache..." Luigi started then he and the elves cried in unison, "It was a FAKE!".

Note: And that's the end. I had to lookup car washes just to make sure I got the names right. Anyways, review please? Oh, in case you're wondering, Toon Link and Toon Zelda are from Wind Waker, Anime Link and Anime Zelda are from Twilight Princess. See you later.