Thanks a lot to my beta-reader,Carly , for correcting my mistakes.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.
A great thank you to my moti-betas as well. You are a great help.
I'm not a native speaker of English!
I'm sorry you have to wait so long, but at the moment everything is complicated. I still write on my original book and won't finish it before July and then my laptop died and I had trouble to get my files back.
I won't abandon this story. I will finish it as soon as I have more time which should be from July. Chapter 67 is already half done.
"Harry and his new family II" and "The final Breeze II" are already done and I try to upload the chapters as soon as possible. But some still have to be betaed.
Chapter 66 – The Letter
"What kind of problem, Draco?" Rose guided Draco over to the foot of Severus' bed and sat down with him beside her. While she laid her arm around Draco's shoulder, she gestured Severus to lay down on the bed. Her expression made sure he knew she wasn't feeling as friendly towards him as she was to Draco.
Not willing to get in trouble with her, Severus obeyed.
After Draco had told Rose about his talk with Harry, he already felt better and had the feeling the problem wasn't as big as it had been before. When Harry came into the room a moment later, Draco looked up hopefully.
"Can we talk alone, Draco?" Harry asked, shyly.
Rose gave Draco an encouraging push, and he left the room with Harry.
Now Rose was alone with Severus and the man got her full attention.
When Severus saw her glare directed at him, he was scared silly.
It was Wednesday, and around coffee time, when the doc stepped out of the fireplace in the living room and entered the kitchen.
"You are a bit early for the barbecue, Doc. I hope you didn't come to cancel," White Cloud said worriedly.
"No, no, I just came to ask to bring someone along and to talk with Maya."
"With me?" Maya asked, surprised.
"Yes, but don't rush. I have time. If there are no objections I would like to stay and leave after the barbecue."
"No problem, Doc. Come over and sit down. Melissa and Maya have baked a delicious apple pie," White Cloud said while she conjured another chair.
"So who will join us for the barbecue?" Light Arrow asked curiously.
"My niece. She is over here for half a year because she is writing her thesis. She is hoping to be able to interview you and White Cloud and maybe get an inside view. She is writing about the influence of animals in healing processes. She is waiting for my call."
"An unusual but interesting theme for a dissertation. She is welcome to come over whenever she wants and of course we are willing to share our experience with her," Light Arrow assured the doctor.
"I kept my guest room free for her but she rented an apartment with one of her friends. Now my guest room is free and I thought I would offer Maya to live in it for free as long as she still goes to school." Doc Martens looked at the girl. "I know you want to finish your education here before you go on and I thought it would give you the possibility to leave the camp and try to live on your own while still being close by the camp. It could be a kind of test for the real life." The doc smiled encouraging at Maya.
"That's... unexpected," Maya said, not knowing if she really was ready.
"Think about it as long as you need. I will hold the room free for you."
"Thank you," Maya said, unusually shy. She was scared about leaving, but still she felt the need to live on her own. Living in the guest room of the doc would be perfect. She could come to the camp whenever she needed. "I really think I will take your offer but I... I still need time to..."
The doctor smiled understandingly. "Take all the time you need, Maya."
Light Arrow gently petted Maya's shoulder, and she smiled thankfully at him.
"So who else is coming for the barbecue?" Doc Martens asked.
"Isaac will come and John has also said he would try to come over. He is at a conference close by," White Cloud informed the doctor.
"Yes, he hasn't visit for some time. He is too busy. I never will understand what he likes about being a broker," White Cloud said, shaking her head.
"Maybe the money," Severus mumbled to Black Hawk.
"Yes, or all the woman he gets through the money," Black Hawk replied, grinning.
"He is not like this and you two know that very well," White Cloud reprimanded the two.
"As if he would tell you, mom," Black Hawk said and rolled his eyes. Severus grinned in his coffee mug.
"What about Hermione and Professor Dumbledore. Shouldn't they already be here?" Doc Martens asked.
"They canceled their visit for today. The headmaster had an important meeting and so they cannot come before tomorrow," Light Arrow explained.
The doctor threw a glance over to Draco. It seemed that the boy was even more nervous now that he had to wait another day. Maybe it would be good to check him through thoroughly again. Eying the rest of the camp members he realized that Rose and Crying Horse looked happier than ever. So at least one problem seemed to be solved already. Severus and Black Hawk also behaved normal which showed that they weren't in too much trouble for their little escapade in the bar. "How are you, Melissa?"
The blond girl looked shyly at the doctor. "I'm fine. I gained one pound lately."
The doctor needed to stop himself from letting his jaw drop. Of course he knew about the gain of weight through the weighing journal, but that she declared it that open in front of them all was a big surprise.
Harry smiled at her and rested his hand over hers.
"Oh Merlin, look at that, Doc. We have to look at those love birds all day," Aiden said teasingly.
Harry rolled his eyes and pulled his hand away.
Melissa was blushing but giggled about Aiden's comment. He had apologized to her and they got along now quite well since then.
The topics at the table became more casual and Harry slowly lost track and lost himself in his thoughts and memories of yesterday.
Harry took the letter from Light Arrow with shaking hands. It was heavy and Harry was very, very scared. "I don't think I can open it. Can you do it and tell me if it is bad?"
Light Arrow eyed Harry skeptically. "I think you can manage, Harry. I will stay here with you if you want or we can go somewhere else to open it."
Harry thought shortly and then asked, "Can we go behind the barn?"
"Behind the barn?" Light Arrow asked, surprised.
"Yes, I spoke with Black Hawk there for a few times and it always helps, I think I would feel better opening it there. Is that stupid?"
"If you feel you would be more comfortable there, then we will go there," Light Arrow said encouragingly and stood up.
Behind the barn Harry was surprised when Light Arrow sat down with him on the ground, leaning against the barn. "What is it about this place?" Light Arrow wondered aloud. "It seems it has a magical attraction to the members of that camp." He didn't say that it was not always a good attraction. He had often found very distressed kids here and many self-harmer used that place as well. Still he came here too when he needed some time away.
Harry shrugged, not lifting his eyes from the envelope. "What if I can't do it?"
"Then we will wait. The problem is that it often gets harder the longer you wait. You want to know what's in there and you are just scared it is something you fear."
"What if they tell me they never want to see me again. That they can't look at me again because I..." Tears were already in his eyes and he gulped against the lump in his throat.
Light Arrow laid his arm around Harry and gently pulled him closer. "They tried several times to contact you, Harry. Why would they do that if they didn't want to see you or couldn't look in your eyes any longer?"
Light Arrow was right. Biting his bottom lip painfully, Harry opened the envelope. The first thing he pulled out of it was a photo. The whole Weasley family was on it. Ron as well and Harry himself amongst them. It hurt to see Ron smiling at him. It was surreal because Harry only could remember the pained look on the face of his friend, not the smiling one. Tears blurred his vision.
"Can I have a look?" Light Arrow asked to prevent Harry from falling too deep into a depression. "Tell me who they are," he asked Harry when he had the photo in his hands.
Harry tried to calm down and gulped. He wiped dirt in his face when he tried to get rid of the tears. That made his eyes burn even more.
"Wait," Light Arrow instructed and batted Harry's hands away. He let his hand hover over Harry's face and suddenly it was clean and Harry felt refreshed. "Don't put that hand in your face again. If you need to cry, just do it." The old man grabbed Harry's wet and dirty hand and cleaned it with another wandless spell. "Now show me the members of the Weasley family."
Harry pointed out each member. The last was Ron and it took him quite some will power to name him. When he managed to do it, he felt proud of himself. Only a few months ago, he wasn't even able to speak out Ron's name.
"They really look like a perfect family. Very friendly. How about you check if there is a letter in there as well."
Harry sighed and pulled the letter out. It was a long parchment. He had to stop reading several times because his vision became too blurred, but Light Arrow stopped him each time from wiping his tears away. Two times he cleaned Harry's face when he felt the boy had calmed down during his crying. When Harry was at the end of the letter his chest burned from all the crying and his nose was stuck. He handed the letter over to Light Arrow to read but the old man refused.
"Tell me about it, Harry," Light Arrow said while he shoved the hand with the letter back to Harry.
"Then I will wait until you can, Harry. Don't push yourself."
Harry rested his head on Light Arrow's shoulder. The crying had stopped and Harry had the feeling he was without tears now, but he also felt relieved. "They forgive me."
"Of course they did." Light Arrow tightened his arm around the boy.
"They say there isn't even something to forgive and they are happy that Draco and I survived."
Light Arrow didn't comment this, he just stroke Harry's arm calmingly.
"They want me to write to them and see them, but please don't make me. I can't... I..."
"Nobody will push you to do anything, Harry. I'm very, very proud that you wrote that letter and that you were strong enough to open theirs. Go your pace in this matter, just don't push them away."
Harry nodded against Light Arrow's shoulder. "But you said it will be important for my permission to go to school, so you want me to see them, right?"
"Yes, I want you to see them, but I don't care when, Harry, and that will have no influence on your start at the school. Everything I wanted you to do right now was to have the courage to open the letter. That you were able to do it, showed me that you really are on a good way to heal. I won't push you to anything else, but I would like you to at least write to them. I'm sure they would like to know how you are doing."
Harry again nodded. "Yes, they asked me to tell them about the camp and what I'm doing and how I feel."
"They worry about you. Maybe you will even enjoy writing to them. Nobody is asking you to meet them right now or any time soon."
"I think I will write them. I can tell them about the camp. There is so much to write about."
Light Arrow smiled. "Yes, I'm sure you will find a few good anecdotes to tell them in your letters."
"I really would like to go to school!"
Light Arrow chuckled. "I know, Harry, but your healing is my number one concern. I want you to concentrate on it. School is just secondary. I know you really are eager to learn from Isaa... Professor Karley, but I sometimes fear it is distracting you too much. Allowing you to go to school, will rob us very important time for therapy, Harry. You make big steps and are very open lately. That's what makes me agree to that compromise. Still I'm not sure if it is a good idea. I fear you will block your problems when you have too much distraction from outside the camp."
"I won't, I promise!" Harry looked up. "Its just that I go crazy when I just concentrate on my problems. Here at the camp I'm always reminded of them and I feel overwhelmed. I need time where I don't have to think about it all. That doesn't mean I will forget about it totally. I know you only want to help me, but..." Harry sighed. "I still don't think it will really help me to speak about it all."
"I know, Harry, and don't accuse you for that. It's normal. I know it is very painful to be reminded of those awful memories and feeling again and again. It takes hard work and will power from you to get through this all. To block things is much easier than working on them, but it is unhealthy to block. Memories and bad feelings like you have them don't vanish on their own. They will eat you up from inside and make you become a person you don't want to become, Harry."
"I know what you mean. I don't want revenge, like I wanted it before I came here. Now I really would like to forget it all and start anew but you don't let me. I know you believe that I need to talk about it and don't just forget it, but... I can't describe it. I just think it won't work for me."
"If you would understand it, we would be already at the last part of your healing, Harry, but we aren't. I don't expect you to believe me. I know that you only talk about your memories and feeling because we make you do it to be able to leave the camp later on. It's no secret, Harry. Still you are very open and I'm very proud that you started to trust us to help you, even so you don't understand our methods and don't believe in them."
They sat there for a long time, even so nobody was speaking. This place had such calming effect. Only when White Cloud came to them they realized how long they had been sitting there. "Is everything all right, you two? Shall I put some cake away for you or will you join us for coffee?"
"What do you think, Harry?" Light Arrow asked.
"I think I shouldn't leave out a meal or I will never be allowed to go to school."
"Cheeky brat," Light Arrow said, laughing, while Harry helped him up.