Yay! I'm finally back on with my Parody! I havn't written any comedy in forever so this one might be horrible.

Well...let's wait and see...

OOOH! Review please! They make me update faster!

Jake's POV:

"I've got a puppy!" Nessie squealed running to me with a dog in her arms. "His name is Platypus."

I took a good look at that dog. "Platypus is a girl." I said bluntly.

Nessie let the dog down so that it could sniff around my shoe. It started to bark at me, so my instincts kicked in. I dropped to the ground and got in the same position as Platypus. With my head on the ground and my butt in the air. I started to bark my head off at that dog. Boy, was it annoying.

That's when Quil decided to walk in. "Oh look, Jake's got a girlfriend. You know you can die if you cheat on your imprint." He informed me smuggly.

I turned myself around and started barking at him. He smelled like...a dog.

Edward's POV:

"Look! A pony!" I squealed, jumping up and down and clapping my hands. "I wanna ride it."

I bolted over and plopped down on the horsey. It was really furry for a pony, but I didn't care, it just tickled. "Giddy up!" I shouted raising my hand over my head like I saw the awesome cowboys do on the magical box we had sittiing in the living room.

"Daddy!" Nessie cried pulling on my arm. "Get off of Jake!"

"Jake is a mutt." I called back to her over the blaring cowboy music Jason was playing for me in my head. "I'm riding a pony! Heeyaw!" I kicked my heels into the horsey and felt it buck.

"Woah!" I laughed with delight grabbing onto the fur on his neck. Good thing it was a shaggy horse.

The pony took off out the door and through the streets of Forks. I waved to everyone I passed like the pretty princess I always wished I could be growing up. I giggled and shouted in delight as the pony got faster.

Soon we were in the trees and it was dark. I started to cry, tears streaming down my face. "I want my Mommy!" I sobbed.

That's when I saw my Mommy pop out from behind a tree. Wait, that's not my Mommy, it was the Emmett vamptato! He had his buddies along and they looked hungry. I searched through my pockets for my spare bag of potato food. Rose told me to always keep it handy in case Vamptato Emmett decided to go on a rampage.

"Here, Tatey tatey taters!" I cried through chunks of butter at them.

They all stopped to lick it up, sighs of delight coming from their squishy mouths. "What are you doing!" The tiny Emmett screeched. "You're supposed to be having fried wolf by now! Mmm, butter." He bent over and started to lick up the butter too.

Wait? Wolf? NO! My pony was a stinky dog!

That's when I went over and stomped on Mr. Emmett Tater. Not really, I didn't have the guts to do that. Rose would tickle me to death.

Visions of being held down while tickled with a fluffy white feather filled my mind. I shuddered just thinking about it.

Rachel: Suck it up.

Edward: But it's so hard to breath when you're laughing.

Rachel: Hel-lo! You don't have to breath Moron!

Harry: Do you think Bella has any spare hippos lying around?

Edward: That's it! Hippos!

Srry it's so short. I'm a lil rusty.

If you comment and say the magic sentence (vamptatos love me!) I'll give you a hint of what the next two are gonna be about!

The writers block is gone! For now anyway. I can only think of two others.

So you better review fast cause the more reviews I get the more I wanna update. And if I don't get enough soon I may forget the ideas! Oh no!

But remember!

Platypus is always watching you! 0.0