A/N: I'm sorry! I've neglected this for practically 2 months! OMG. I just had writers block. Anyway, a lot has changed since last time. Last time I said I had 5 stories on the go, now I have 12 stories on the go. And a few oneshots and songfics.
And if any of you have also read the Gallagher Girls series, could you check out my crossover of Gee Nicks and Gallagher? Please?
Ohh, and go check out the Pants Awards. Go on. Plus, Hornmeister Lover and myself are doing a Gee Nicks tandem story under our joint account, and the story is called Sex Kitty, I Luuurve You!
And Dave just laughed.
He laughed and laughed and laughed.
And I couldn't resist laughing too.
Next day (let's say it's Saturday – I'm AWFUL with keeping track of the days.)
Ho hum, pigs bum.
I am no longer on the rack of luuurve.
I now have a gorgey Laugh as a Hornpartner, and I've never been happier.
Apart from the times I've been happier.
But the point is, I am sehr happy in my lurvely relationship.
I am finally in a grown up, mature relationship.
Don't you just think Dave and I exude sophisticosity?
5 minutes later
God, I'm so bored.
There is absolutely NOTHING to do around here.
Okay, Brain, I think we get the picture – there was no need to bring Lederhosen-a-gogo Land into this.
30 seconds later
"So are you finally going out with Dave then?"
"Yes. He is now my girlfriend."
"What?" Jas said. "Your girlfriend? But he's a boy, isn't he?"
Jassy really is the dimmest twit of the first water.
"What, no, you only just figured that out? Or are you still unsure? Because, Jassy, I can assure you that he is a boy. One hundred percent."
"What… you mean… you've reached number ten?! Already?! You promiscuous tart!"
I was wrong yesterday.
Jassy is not a good pally.
"No, Jas. I have not reached number ten."
"So… how do you know? You know, that you're one hundred percent sure that he's a bloke."
Oh dear Gott in Himmel.
She is so unbelievably dim.
"Jas," I said.
"How do you know Tom's not a girly vole?"
Jas took a deep breath in, as though she was going to tell me something that would keep me here for ages.
I was right. "Well, he is a vole. And so am I. The other week we went on this wilderness thing, and the people running it told us about the Vole People, and had us all tested for the Vole People gene. Tom and I both have it. Apparently we're blessed, because it's an ancient species that is dying out. Not many people have it and it's a recessive gene. So when Tom and I have children, they'll be homozygous, with the Vole Gene, which means that their genotypes will be two little v's. Not two big v's, or one big v and one little one. Two little ones. Isn't this great?"
Depends on how you look at it.
I certainly don't want to be a vole person.
And frankly, I only understood wilderness, voles, tested, Vole People.
Obviously the people running this thing were slightly bonkers.
"Jas. Who organised this wilderness thing? Do they have a website?"
"Oh, right. Well, they're this married Vole People couple, and their website is .vole."
"Isn't it meant to be www, not vvv?"
"Oh right. Well, it's because their Vole People, you see."
"Alright. I'll go have a look. Ring you back in a minute Jas."
I hung up.
What planet is this girl living on?
Actually, I think she is.
There is no such thing as Vole People.
On the computer
Good grief, our computer is SO slow!
It's like from the '90s!
You can't see the letters or anything, and the actual screen thing is a huge box.
And those went out in about 2001.
i.e., 8 years ago.
15 minutes later
The computer has finally loaded .vole.
Well, I was wrong.
The people who told Jas and Tom they are Vole People are not slightly bonkers.
No, they are completely and utterly beyond belief bonkers.
They are bonkers because they are little children's entertainers.
And who wants to do that?
Not me, for sure. (A/N: No offence – it's just for the story. My aunty teaches little kids circus, which entertains them. So yeah.)
So basically, they're little kids entertainers who pretend to be voles, and this is their website for the kids.
I read the For Parents section, and it says there they are just pretending.
But I reckon they like to have a larf, and when Jas and Tom showed up all serious about Voling, they pulled them a line about Vole People, and the gene being recessive.
I can't believe Jas and Tom fell for it.
Actually, I can.
"Jas, you are not a Vole Person. That was all bull."
"Sex Kitty, Jassy is the biggest vole person the planet could have. And I am not Jassy. Which is probably obvious, unless Jas has recently acquired a deeper voice and has taken on lezzie tendancies. i.e., calling you Sex Kitty."
"No, Dave. Jas thinks that she and Tom are Vole People, and that it's a recessive trait. And her genotype is two little v's. Whatever a genotype is."
"Haven't you been listening in Blodge, Kitty? You'll need a detention for that."
"Okay, tell me what a genotype is then."
"Sex Kitty, I wouldn't have a clue."
"But you just said – "
"I know what I just said. But I already got my detention. I flunked my test. And received detention for it. It's just you that's due for one."
"Stop being annoying."
"I am sorry, KittyKat, but that goes against the law of nature. Now I am afraid I must get on my camel and leave. Au revoir."
And he hung up.
HE. HUNG. UP. ON. ME.
Does this mean that I am going to be dumped?
Oh Buddha please, no!
A/N: Overly dramatic, Gee. Honestly! Well you finally got your update. And don't worry, this'll have more frequent updates. Promise.
So did you like this chapter?
I'm really unsure about it, and I dunno if it was any good.
So tell me if it was or wasn't. And if it wasn't, what I can do to improve.
There's the green button!