A/N This was written for the weekly one shot challenge on the forums. Hope i did this right! EDIT: Changed some things on 23/08/09
As I drove at a steady pace through the winding country roads I felt certain about my decision: I was going to meet the sun. Although I was relatively young for my kind, only 400 years, I felt weary of this world. I can't articulate why, not even to myself, I'm not sure I even want to.
I stopped the car on the side of a small country lane leaving it parked where it was, and walked at a slow pace to the centre of a field. It felt good to be out of the city and out in the open with nothing to worry about. I could feel the dawn coming; my instincts were prodding me, warning me to go to ground. Though I was still young I could resist the urges.
As I watched the dark horizon begin to turn slowly into a lighter blue I let my thoughts wander to my long life. My program had become bigger and better; I was a very rich man, only with money though. I had not loved another being besides Sookie in my existence as a vampire. To this day I could not understand the lure of the human woman. Though the fairy blood did give her taste a certain appeal it had no effect on my love for her. I would have loved her even if she hadn't been telepathic, though it was her telepathic ability that made her into the woman she grew into over the years.
I realised I had no one else besides Sookie to think of during the final moments of my time on Earth, that suited me fine. All my affairs were in order and I would allow myself the indulgence of thinking of her when, through so many years, I had denied myself the pleasure and pain of those thoughts.
I lamented that she chose Eric; though I had said so many times before that she could go to him if that was what she wanted. I found too late that I didn't care for that to happen, she was already blood bound to him. I mourned that she died young and alone; a car crash on a bright sunny day; apparently it was quick and painless. I felt immense guilt that I never got the chance to talk to her openly about my mission from the Queen, I don't think I could ever apologise enough to her.
I believed her death was my fault, although it was a complete accident. The day Sookie died, she was driving back from Shreveport, after spending the night with Eric. I wonder what would have happened if I had told her about my mission before we were in too deep, before it would have hurt too much. She would be dead either way; permanently dead or un-dead. I would have been her maker and beloved for eternity. I know that, if Sookie were with me, I would still have a zest for my un-life. I wouldn't be here, watching the sun rise for the first time in over 400 years.
The taste of the sun was divine as it came slowly over the horizon, it warmed me and it felt wonderful. I stood breathing in the scent of the air deeply, the effect the sun had on the plants around me was astounding. Night and day were so different, I had forgotten how different they were until now.
Though being staked would have been quicker and less painful I was glad this was the way I had chosen to finally die. The warmth enveloped me in welcoming arms and I submitted to them happily.
I opened my eyes and Sookie stood between me and the sun, glowing like some ancient goddess in white gossamer. I fell to my knees.
"Sookie." I took a deep breath of sun. "Sookie I'm so sorry."
She tilted her head to one side, confused and sad. "Why Bill?"
"I lied to you Sookie, I seduced you and I lied. All the time I loved you, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you Sookie." I looked into her brilliant blue eyes as small pieces of what I realised were me floated by.
"Is it strange that now I'm dieing, I'm feeling more human than ever?" I looked down at the sun drenched grass I had grasped in my burning hands. More pieces drifted away on the slight breeze. It was suprising that I could barely feel the burning. Smelling the air again I realised I could faintly smell Sookie mixed in with the scent of the sun. It was bliss.
Drops of blood fell on my blackened hands and I realised I was crying. Bare feet moved into my vision and I looked up to find Sookie leaning down. She kissed my forehead lightly, and caressed my cheek; she felt like a warm breeze.
"Bill" She looked at me with loving eyes and smiled so warmly at me. "I've never truly hated you; there has always been a part of me that has loved you. It never went away no matter what you did. You were always forgiven Bill. Even if at the time you didn't deserve it. I forgave you because you needed it... and I needed to forgive you."
She started to fade away, or my vision started to waver.
"Sookie..." I put out a crumbling hand towards her.
"Shh, it's ok Bill. I'm here."
She kissed me softly on my lips and we were both carried away.
Ashes and the wind, bathed in sunlight.