Ok, this is meant to be a like funny kind of a story, and basically it's a Twilight/10 things I hate about you crossover. This is like a tester chapter, PLEASE let me know what you think of it, cheers.
Disclaimer:I own neither 10 things I hate about you or Twilight.
I swallowed compulsively as I walked up the stairs to my new school. The sign on the brick arch way proclaimed the school to be called Padua High School. Oh Jesus, I hated this, I didn't want to be here. Still, with Charlie getting stationed near here I had no choice. I let out a long sigh and brushed my hair back. I walked under the arch and into the building. I remembered from my exception letter that I was meant to be going to the guidance counsellor. The school seemed to be broken into three large buildings; none of them had any kind of sign as to which contained the guidance counsellor's office I decided to walk into the one that was straight in front of me. No luck, the one on the left, nope, ok last one. Sure enough I had struck gold, I walked into the building following the signs until, yep here it was. The sign on the front of this door proclaimed it to be Ms. Perky's office, the guidance counsellor. I sighed again and knocked three times.
Mrs. Perky POV
Sex, come on think sex. It's not fucking hard. Come one, come on. Jesus I bet of Harold were any good at this then I would be having no trouble with this, but no no no, he's just to TIRED. I'll tell you what I'm tired off, having to write the fucking sex novel because I'm not getting any at home. Calm it down, now. I had been staring at my computer screen for the last 20 minutes and coming up blank. Come on, come on, oh IDEA. I started to type when there was a knock at my office door. "Fuck" I muttered under my breath and then yelled, "come in and sit down." I heard the door open and shut again, but I now didn't give a shit who walked in, I had a line and I was going to type it. As his hand slid up up her creamy white thigh, she could feel his huge member pulsating with desire….. Wait what was the next bit? SHIT FUCK TITS. I looked up form my laptop, "I'll be right with you." I said to the girl that was sitting in the chair in front of my desk. I stared back down at the screen, but it had totally gone. Shit. Never mind, the sooner I deal with this kid the sooner I can get back to this book. I shut down the lid of the laptop and surveyed the girl in front of me. I had never seen her before so I had to assume this was the new girl, Bella Swan. Quite a pretty little thing, and so nervous, she was so gonna lose it here. "So Bella" I started, picking up a file from my desk and handing her a schedule of lessons. "Here you go" I said, trying to be cheery. I took a glance at the notes in front of me, nine schools in ten years. Wow either she was an army brat or some kind of hell raising little bastard. Better find out now. "Nine schools in ten years" I asked casually, "army brat?" She looked alarmed at being addressed, "oh um yer" she mumbled, "my dad.." I cut her of. I was not going to have to have to listen to ANOTHER life story; I mean why the hell would I want to hear about that, fucks sake. "That's enough" I told her, " I'm sure you wont find Padua any different from your other schools." Something smashed into my window, rather than looking I just gave them the finger. TWATS. "Same little ass wipes, shit for brains everywhere." I laughed, then turned my glaze back to Bella. She was looking at me like I had three heads or something, what the fuck is with these kids. I still have no idea why I got into the education system. "umm," she stammered, "excuse me, am I, I, in the right office?" Oh god they're called SWEAR WORDS genius. Please god tell me she wasn't from one of those super catholic insane families, she would get eaten alive here, HA! "Not anymore your not" I replied, I had had enough of this kid already and I had a bunch of other tossers to see today. "I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish, now scoot." She continued to sit there and stare at me, Jesus Christ, what is with this kid. "Scoot" I said again, hopefully she would get it this time. Sure enough she jumped from the chair, mumbling again, she actually sounded like she might have said thank you. The girl tripped over that doorstep and nearly crashed into Emmett Cullen. Bad move, that kid was a psychopath and he was next on my list of dicks that I had to see today. Speaking of dicks, today Cullen had exposed himself to the lunch lady. Oh lord. "Emmett Cullen, I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual" I said, he just grinned that insane smile, "Just so we can have these moments together, shall I, er, hit the lights?" he said in his vaguely Australian accent as he gestured to the switch behind him. Oh God, Harold NEVER says anything like that to me. Hmm if Cullen weren't quite so under age I might just be shagging him under the desk right now. Still, seeing as that was never going to happen, at least he could provide inspiration for my book. And lets face it he was GOOOD inspiration. "Oh very clever kangaroo boy, it says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria." He really shouldn't say those things to me, one day me might get more than he bargained for. Emmett sighed, "I was joking with the lunch lady, it was a Bratwurst."
"Bratwurst?" I asked. An idea was forming in my head, time to get him out of here and back to my novel. "Aren't we the optimist," I said with a smile. Just like the Bella kid had he stared at me like I had grown an extra freaking head. I sighed, "Next time just keep it in your pouch okay? Now SCOOT." Cullen rolled his eyes and walked from my office with out a backwards glance. I watched his gorgeous butt's progress as he left. Right, back to the story, I rushed back to my chair popping the lid of my laptop open, the sentence I had written earlier was still there. I moved along the words until I hit "member", deleted it and changed it to "Bratwurst". Much Better.
Well that woman was freaking insane, what if all the people here are like that oh God. I was still looking at my class list when a very cheery short girl with spiky hair bobbed to my side. "Hello " she said in a high pitched voice, it was almost like she was singing. "I'm Alice Brandon, I'm supposed to show you around." I surveyed her quickly, she was very short and her black hair was styled to every point was in casual disarray. Lastly I looked at her clothes, it was just a t-shirt and jeans. THANK GOD. At my last place the the girl they had got to show me around was wearing a blazer, knee length pleated skirt and the worlds thickest pair of glasses I had ever seen. They were still yet to be beaten. "Thank god" I said heartily, "normally they send down one of those audio visual geeks." Alice laughed nervously, "no, I totally know what you mean." Just then two boys came past rolling a cart that was heaped with camera equipment, "hey Alison, where should I put the slides?" one of the guys said leaning over to her. She laughed again, I didn't know that it could be so high pitched. "Who's Alison?" she said grabbing me elbow and towing me away. I guess it was time for the tour.
KK, thanx for reading, PLEASE REVIEW THIS. I really need to know what everyone thinks, like it, don't like it. Let me know. Again thanx for reading. oxox