A/N: Not one of my better stories, but I am sort of going through the same thing as Bella did in New Moon, and writing this helped to ease the pain. I hope you like it.

It's like there's a huge hole in my chest.

The hole is relentless.

It is ripping and tearing inside of you, causing more pain than you could possibly imagine.

You would think that you know how it feels. But it is one thing to have it explained to you, and another to actually feel it.

It is emptiness. There is nothing there. It numbs your mind. It puts your head in a fog.

And it hurts. It slowly kills you from the inside out. It is eating away at you and who you are. Every fiber in your body, every piece of your soul, going away.

The hole inside of you is a monster. A dark vortex sucking away. To lose your reason for living kills. It hurts, insanely.

They say laughter is the best medicine. But really, it isn't. When you are sick in this sort of manner, laughter will always be forced. It will never come naturally, not when your sunlight is gone. Not when you can not breathe in the very air that is needed for laughter.

Smiling kills. Smiling is painful. It feels like someone is using knifes to pull up the corners of your mouth. Your smile bleeds fakery. There is nothing in it.

The hole in your chest drains you. It wipes away any energy, any anything, until you can no longer feel.

There is a huge hole in my chest that can never be filled. It can only be eclipsed. But eclipses only last a short time, and then the hole returns.