TRTSS15: Thanks for the Memories!
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST and other genres belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre story.
Special: This is a semi-retelling of the movie and OAVs of the Ranma ½ series. Enjoy!
Part 1: "Returning to China with a Bride and a Barrel of Pickles"
Commodore Ranma "Ronnie" Saotome, a member of the United Federation of Planet's" "Starfleet", shook the hands of the new Bajoran Governor, who will take over the Bajoran colony known as "Prophets' Landing" as its administrator. Ranma was the second highest-ranking officer in the Bajoran Sector.
"Commodore, it will be an honor to continue to forge an alliance between our people and yours," Bajoran said. "Especially now that the Dominion War has been concluded."
"Yeah, I guess," Ranma said. "I just wished that the border situation had not been settled by violence, but rather by peace."
"Unfortunately, I cannot necessarily say the same thing, having suffered under Cardassian rule."
A short while later…
"I still can't believe we are going to use these…'Stargates' for regular travel," said Captain Kira Nerys, who was the first officer at Starfleet's "Deep Space Nine". The station used to be a Cardassian property called "Terok Nor", when the Cardassian Union occupied the region.
"Considering the fact that the Federation took a beating during the war, starships are few and far in between," Ranma said. "In fact, Admiral Herb is supervising the construction of dozens of new ships at the Antares Shipyards from Starbase 375, which is why he has yet to relinquish authority to me. And when that happens, command of DS9 will be turned over to you, Kira."
"Huh, I can't wait."
"But, in the meantime, we can use these things o get around."
"What's the difference between the Stargates and the Iconian Gates?"
"You need two Stargates to function, while you don't need any Stargates to function."
"I see. So that's why Iconian tech is so dangerous…"
"Well, yeah. Essentially, the Iconians perfected the Ancient's technology to a frightening level. At least, as far as the Iconian's neighbors were concerned."
"Well, it doesn't matter, I suppose," Kira said. "But, we move on."
"Indeed. I got to preside over the wedding between Alexander and his fiancée in an official capacity as 'Emperor Ranma the Great'."
Kira folds her arms.
"That's something YOU came up with, huh?" Kira said flatly.
"Hey, you're talking to the Klingon head-of-state, you know," Ranma said with a wink and a smile. "You should show some respect."
"I respect you a Starfleet officer, as the Warrior of the Prophets, as one of the Princes of Jurai, as 'Ranger One' of the Anla'Shok, and even as the Emperor of the Klingon Empire…"
"But your ego is so massive, I'm surprised that it hasn't effected Bajor's orbit around the sun."
"Ha, ha," Ranma said. "Very funny."
"Hey, they don't pay me enough to blow smoke up the you-know-where."
"And I'm glad of THAT," Ranma said. "But, it's time for us to get the heck out here."
"Yeah, I got to call Kai Bareil about hosting the 'Festival of the Prophets' on the station," Kira said. "I had thought that, in light of…Fleet Captain Sisko's disappearance, we could do something special this time around."
"Yes, I agree," Ranma said. "I was once told that it will be up to me to lead Bajor to 'paradise'. Making sure that Bajor's transition to full membership in the United Federation of Planets has been a challenge, to say the least."
"Commodore Saotome, Captain Kira, the Stargate connection has been established," said a technician.
"Thank you," Ranma said. "Well, it's back to the ranch, I guess…"
"You know, sometimes I wish I could go back to a time in my life, when things were a lot simpler."
"Oh?" Kira replied.
"Yeah. When I was growing up, the only thing I would have to worry about is either defending my honor, or protecting those I cared about. Now…everything is more grand, more complicated."
"Well, sir, as they say, you can't go home again."
"Yeah. And, perhaps, it's best that I move forward, and face new challenges, rather than relive the past."
And, with that, Ranma and Kira steps into the Stargate. Doing so was like dipping into a pool of cool water…
"AUUUGH!" Ranma-onna said, as she broke the surface of the Koi pond, which was in the back of the Tendo Compound.
"What?" Ranma-onna said. "How did it get here-?"
"Here, hold this," said a familiar voice.
Some hands Ranma-onna a pair of…panties.
"Panties?" Ranma-onna said. She then turns to see Grandfather Happosai make a run for it.
"What is he doing here-?"
"Ah-HA!" said another familiar voice.
Ranma-onna looks up to see Akane Tendo, as she hefts Mallet-sama over her head from the vantage point of her.
"Akane?" Ranma-onna said. "Is that YOU?"
"Don't play dumb, Ranma," Akane said. "You're not going to get out of the punishment you deserve for being a panty thief!"
"I'm not listening!" Akane said, as she leaps out of her bedroom, in order to deliver Mallet-sama's divine justice.
"Okay, then," Ranma-onna said, as she cocked her head. "Have it your way…"
"Yeah, I WILL-!"
At the last minute, Ranma-onna side steps the intended attack…and falls straight into the pond.
"Huh," Ranma-onna said with a smirk.
"Ranma, aren't you going to do something?" said yet another familiar voice.
Ranma-onna turns around to see Nabiki.
"Akane?" Nabiki said.
"She can't swim, remember?"
"Oh, my goosh!" Ranma-onna said, as she dives into the pond.
"So, dense," Nabiki said, as went back into the house.
A short time later…
"AH-CHOO!" Akane said with a sniff.
"I'm sorry, Akane-" Ranma, now back in male form, tried to say, before getting socked in the jaw.
"Apology accepted," Akane replied, as she retracted her fist.
"Here you go, Akane," Kasumi said, as she gives her a bowl of miso soup.
"Thank you, Kasumi."
"Ranma, you should better not to allow your fiancée, MY LITTLE GIRL, to drown like that!" Soun yelled.
"Then Akane should learn how to swim," Ranma said.
"What did you SAY?" Akane glared.
"I said, you should learn how to SWIM," Ranma said. "How can you be a martial artist, if you only relegate your training to one area?"
Nabiki squints her eyes. There was something odd about Ranma's behavior…
"You're saying I'm not a martial artist?" Akane said.
"No, I'm saying you can be a better one," Ranma said. "Look, if you want, I can teach you. Or, you can have Pops teach you. I mean, we're here doing nothing for the house, except freeload."
"What?" Genma said.
"Why, that is an excellent idea," Kasumi said with a pleasant smile. "The two martial arts families are to be joined, yes?"
"At the very least, you two can stop free-loading for a change," Nabiki said.
"Yeah, whatever," Ranma said, as he gets up. "I'm going to my room."
"Ranma?" Akane said, as she gets up.
"We'll talk later," Ranma said with a smile, before proceeding to leave the dining room.
After Ranma leaves, everyone in the dining room turn towards each other, and had but one thing to say.
Personal Log, Stardate: Unknown. For some inexplicable reason, I have been transported to a time and place when I was just an aspiring martial artist while seeking to become the best of my generation. I cannot rule out the possibility that I am indeed reliving my past, though I am more prone to believe that I am in a simulated environment. If that is the case, for what purpose have I been placed here? I would not put it past any of my enemies to put me in a vulnerable position, where I would accidentally divulge a secret or two, in light of the fact that I am an important figure these days. Then again, I could really be reliving my past. There is a certain charm in doing so. Unfortunately, if that is the case, then I also face the possibility that my "body" is not as tempered as it will be in the future. Still, I do retain the knowledge and experience of my "previous" life, so there is a chance that I can "rebuild" my body to its peak…eventually. For now, I will play it by ear, and see what may come.
As Ranma paced back and forth in his room, he hit upon an idea.
'Technically, I should be careful about NOT violating the Prime Directive,' Ranma thought to himself. 'But, at the same time, I can't take any chances that someone placed me here for a reason.'
'Therefore, I shall awaken my 'Sharingan' earlier than normally,' Ranma thought, as he sat down in the middle of his room. He then sits in the lotus position, where he begins his meditation.
'Pops had made sure that my Sharingan would not be activated until Itachi sought to kill every member of the Uchiha clan,' Ranma thought to himself. 'He did not know that my father had managed to 'unseal' this ability within himself, and thus allow the next generation to have the potential to possess this bloodline trait. Now, to recall my training…'
After closing his eyes, Ranma sat in deep meditation. As he did so, the middle Tendo daughter takes a peek in Ranma and his father's room.
"Hmmm," Nabiki mused, as she stares at Ranma through the crack of his bedroom door. Upon seeing Ranma in a lotus position, Nabiki was trying to discern his latest antics. Her reputation as her school's "Ice Queen" was garnered from her ability to "read" her potential victims- er, "custgomers", in order to fleece them for all that they are worth. However, this time around, the normally readable Ranma Saotome, who had the WORST "poker face" Nabiki has ever known, was now a mystery to her…
'What is your game, Saotome?' Nabiki said, as she stares at Ranma…
"What do you want, Nabiki?" Ranma said suddenly.
"Ulp!" Nabiki replied.
"Um, we have a situation downstairs involving Grandfather Happosai and an elephant trainer and her elephant."
'So, I've arrived at this point in time just before the arrival of the Seven Lucky Gods fiasco,' Ranma thought…
"So are you going to do anything about it?" Nabiki said.
Ranma opens his eyes.
"Sure," Ranma said with a broad smile. "Just lead on."
Nabiki frowned for a moment. For a moment, she could have sworn that Ranma's eyes flickered red…
"Please!" Happosai yelled, as he was being held in the trunk by a massive elephant…tightly. "Help your old master!"
"Um, what was that, Tendo?" Genma said, as they continued to play their game of Shogi. "Did you HEAR something?"
"Must be the wind," Tendo said.
"Oh, how I've been betrayed by my own students!" Happosai said.
"You, old man!" the cute elephant trainer yelled at Happosai, as she brings up what appeared to be half a scroll. "Because of YOU, I, Lychee, can't have a normal life-!"
She tosses the scroll at Happosai's head.
'Uh oh,' Ranma said. "I better catch it before trouble begins…again."
As the half-scroll sailed towards Akane, Ranma quickly snatches out of the air.
"Hey!" Akane yelled with annoyance.
"Trust me, you having this will cause you nothing but trouble," Ranma said.
"Oh, really?" Akane said, as she threw picture of water at Ranma.
"Akane, you REALLY have to work on your anger," Ranma-onna said. And then-
"What is that?" Nabiki said.
"Oh, my," Kasumi said. "I hope it doesn't rain…"
"Tendo, look at THAT!" Genma said.
From the clouds, a 'balloon ship' descends.
"Some…kind of ship?" Akane said.
The elephant trainer looks up and sees the emblem of the ship. Apparently, it matches the seal on the half-scroll that was kept in her family for generations. And then, she sees a handsome young man at bow of the boat. He appeared in ancient Chinese garb while carrying long chopsticks in one hand, and a bowl of rice (topped with a cucumber) in the other.
"At last, the prophecies have come true," said Prince Kirin of the Kingdom of Nekonron, China, as his personal guard, the Seven Lucky Gods, hovered in the back. "I, Prince Kirin, have found the scroll…a scroll that contains the ultimate technique!"
"Hmmm," Nabiki said, as she peers over Ranma-onna's shoulder. "Isn't that the scroll that Kirin guy is talking about?"
"Yeah, so-?" Ranma-onna said, as she realized the implication of her holding the scroll.
"What?" Kirin said. "That pigtailed girl has the scroll. Ebiten!"
"Of course, Lord Kirin," said a small man with a fishing pole. "As they say, the shrimp gets the fish!"
"Interesting," Ranma-onna said. "So, uses solidified 'chi' in order to create a line that is stronger than a steel cable- ULP!"
Ranma-onna is pulled up.
"Ranma!" Akane said.
"You, pigtailed girl, are MINE," Kirin said.
"Um, dude, I have a Jusenkyo curse," Ranma-onna said.
"Really? Is this possible?"
"The cursed springs do exist, my lord," said a girl named Mon Lon, who carried a "pipa" (a Chinese lute).
"Well, it looks like you're tough out of luck, guy," Ranma-onna said. "So, here."
Ranma-onna tosses the half-scroll into Ebiten's hands.
"Be seeing you-"
"WAIT!" Kirin said.
"Be as it may, if I am fated to love someone who is not born a woman, then so be it. Perhaps, our line would become stronger."
"Oh, this is rich," Ranma-onna said. And then-
"Ranma, beat that guy up, and get down from there!" Akane yelled.
'Interesting,' Ranma-onna thought to herself. 'I wonder how far Akane would go for ME for a change. Plus, this will give me a chance to learn martial arts…'
Ranma-onna looks down from her vantage point.
"Akane, Kirin has issued a challenge," Ranma-onna said.
"I did?" Kirin said.
"WHAT?" Akane said.
"Yeah. Because YOU think I'm such a freak, I have to go with Prince Kirin to China."
"Boy, what kind of game are you playing?" Genma said.
"What about my little girl? Soun said.
"If Akane is serious about being a fiancée, she has to get ME back," Ranma-onna said. "Even if THAT is NOT the case, you're suppose to be the martial artist, right? Well, this time…YOU save ME."
"Like I'm going to save you."
"Okay, then," Ranma-onna said, as she waves good-bye. "I'll be sure to send you back the wedding pictures…"
And with that, Kirin and his airship turn to leave.
"Oh, my!" Kasumi said.
"What is Ranma-baby up to?" Nabiki said.
"No, my prince!" Lychee lamented. "I'm supposed to be the bride-!"
She signals her pet elephant to her side, who drops Happosai in the process, and then takes off after the airship.
"Ranma, get back here-!" Genma yells.
"Akane, you have to get your fiancé back!" Soun said.
"Like I care WHO that jerk marries," Akane said defiantly.
Now, Akane wanted to prove the point that she didn't need Ranma. However, the more she thought about it, the angrier she got.
"Ranma, you jerk!" Akane yells. "How DARE you manipulate me like that!"
"So, little sister, what are you going to do?" Nabiki said.
"We're going to rescue Ranma, that's what," Akane said. "But first…"
"Tell us everything you know about the scroll and the people who kidnapped Ranma, Grandfather Happosai!" Akane said, as she shook the demented martial arts master.
"Okay, okay," Happosai said. "I'll tell you what I know…"
"What is the prognosis, Doctor?" Captain Kira said, as Dr. Julian Bashir and Nurse Kodachi Kuno examines the prone body of Commodore Ranma Saotome, in Sickbay aboard the Federation Station "Deep Space Nine".
"I'm not sure, Captain," Bashir said. "His vital signs are as healthy as ever."
"Doctor, I am picking up high levels of synaptic activity," Kodachi said.
"What does that mean, doctor?" Kira said.
"I do not know," Bashir said. "We will, of course, continue to monitor his medical readings."
"Good. Let me know of any changes at the earliest."
Kira glances at Ranma, with worry on her face.
"Get better soon, Ranma," Kira said quietly.
Author's Note: So, what IS happening to Ranma? Is he dreaming, or is something else happening? C&C are welcomed.
Next Time: As Future-Ranma learns new martial arts, Akane reluctantly gathers the Nerima Wrecking Crew for a rescue mission. Meanwhile, it's the return of the original Ranma Saotome! But can he deal with a strange future, that includes a NICE Kodachi Kuno? See you soon!