No ship all Charlie.
A sad/dark Christmas fic.
Hey guys, this is my first twilight fic and I just want to say that this is really really dark. The darkest I've ever written but I needed to get some anger and depression out of me and this is what happened.
There's no need to comment if you have bad thoughts about it (aka flames) I don't really want to hear them. but feel free to leave a review and/or criticism.
Disclaimer: none of its mine except I wish it was so I could be rich. =]
Hey did I mention that this was a dark fic?
My gun glared mockingly at me from its perch on the table before me. What was once my friend and protector now has become an urge, a want, and evil. I reach forward and clasp my hand around cool glass leaving the offending object in its resting place. My eyes trained onto the amber liquid sloshing in the tumbler in my hand. My mind slowly floating away…I want it to end.
I drink the last of the contents of the bottle. I huff and made to stand to retrieve another bottle of my secret mind numbing elixir, my go-to guy JD. As my weight shifted to my wobbly legs, hey gave out I plummeted back to the couch I had just attempted to move from. I was stranded unable to stand in my inebriated state. I was stranded and left with my memory filled mind without my mind numbing elixir.
Oh how Bella would loathe the predicament I put myself in. a self inflicted predicament. But the need to forget is too great and I am just human. I wonder if she understands, because as I said before, I'm merely but a human, a human that has lost so much to gain some back only to lose it again in the end. But I understand. I understand the reason she left, they left. I understand that I am not much more than a blip in someone else's life. I understand that she followed her heart when she left for her fine, fair love.
I was in love once. Twice, if you count the time I fell back in love. She was a beauty with her caring, caramel eyes and ivory skin. Even with all the sun, her skin always stayed a pristine white.
I married that women and had a beautiful baby girl…my second love. Her skin just as white, her caramel eyes hast as caring. But it was taken from me. A note and a 'sorry but I'm not happy.' But I was happy.
And she left me. She left me and I couldn't take it. I drowned myself in memories of what we were and what we had or at least what I thought we had.
I huffed again as I fell back onto the couch after trying again for that other bottle of amber fire. Memories still assault and plague my mind.
I remember those holidays where 5 year-old Bella could not contain herself during those long, cold winter nights. She would continue to pester her mother and me to be able to open one of her gifts. Just one. Her mother always held strong throughout the entirety of the day but I could not make. So every year I let Bella open my gift to her that Christmas Eve. The look on her face was indescribable.
A tear slid down my cheek and I wiped it away scowling at my weakness. I would never have that again. No more family, no more love, no more fireplaces covered in garland and Christmas trees filled with lights, candies and popcorn. I would never have my happiness back.
My mind clouded and I slowly realize that maybe one bottle was enough. I felt the memories ease away, and for a moment I feel like everything with be okay. But then I remember and this Christmas is colder than any other I have had…and I just want it to end.
I reach forward, my mind still clouded, and take up my relief. I want it to end…
So I made it.