Disclaimer: No! No! I won't do it! I own the Rangers. They're mine! Mine, I tell you! What? What do you mean I don't? I paid that guy ten whole bucks for them! Really? I don't own them? Awwwwwww…..I want my money back!
You can read the first two hundred stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet," and "Those Rangers Just Keep on Meeting.
This is story number forty. It was requested by BlueRedPinkRanger.
Reviews are greatly appreciated. Honest, they are.
I am reposting this after repairing an error found by Jessica01.
Billy and Lily
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
"How will I ever arrive at a solution to this conundrum?" asked a flustered Billy as he headed out of the Juice Bar. He passed by Bulk and Skull who were into their third hour of scrubbing Ernie's dumpster behind the building with their own toothbrushes as punishment for ruining yet another cake.
"Whatever possessed me to solicit Marge's accompaniment to a social event?" he moaned. "I cannot dance." Ever since the fifth grade, when he had somehow knocked half of his classmates off the stage during a talent show, he had avoided anything to do with dancing. He just couldn't take Zack up on his offer to teach him. The last time he had tried to teach Billy, the Black Morphin' Ranger had only ended up in tears. He had even gone as far as to melt down all his dance trophies and have the metal used to make a plaque saying 'Worst Dance Teacher Ever.'
Billy sighed. "My ineptness will not be of assistance in obtaining the affections of Marge." That was when he saw it. "That would be ideal for me!" he cried. He grabbed the flyer off the pole. Then he ran to his house to grab the Radbug from the garage. Surely Zordon wouldn't mind him flying across town. This was an emergency after all.
"Oh wow!" squealed Lily as she clapped her hands together. She just couldn't believe the nice daycare lady had given her a place of her own. She must have realized just how great a dancer Lily truly was. Never mind that the elderly lady had been sobbing and mumbling about smashed knickknacks and broken windows. Never mind that the place was actually a dilapidated old shed that stood far away enough from the main building so that the other kids wouldn't get scared from all the crashing sounds. Lily was thrilled to have her very first dance studio.
"Well this most certainly must be an erroneous location," Billy mumbled to himself as he arrived at the address listed on the flyer. He looked around and saw a little girl of about four years old rocking back and forth on her heels.
"Pardon me; do you have any knowledge of this dance studio?"
"Huh?" asked Lily. "You sure talk funny, Mister."
Billy sighed. He kept forgetting that he needed to simplify his speech around little kids. "I was asking where this dance school was." He showed Lily the flyer.
"Ooh, you got my ad!" squealed Lily. "I get to teach you how to dance!"
"You posted this advertisement?" Billy asked dumbfounded. He felt a bit disappointed. He had been positive the badly spelled crayoned ad had been done by a certain Pink Ranger. He had even been mentally rehearsing what he would say when he 'accidentally' got too close during his lessons. Then again, Billy did think it odd for Kim to ask for cookies and m & m's as payment.
"Let's see" said the preschooler as she walked around her new student and studied him thoughtfully. "First you gotta look cool. Those overalls won't help you look like anything but a dork."
"Affirmative," replied Billy. "I do intend to don apparel that confirm more suitably to the occasion."
"Huh?" asked Lily in confusion. "Who's Don? Why does he need a pear with a suit?"
Billy turned and frowned at the little girl standing in front of him. "Pardon me if I display discourteousness; however I have not made your acquaintance."
"Then maybe you should before you ruin those silly overalls." Lily stepped aside as she pointed to a porta john standing right outside of the shed.
"That was not the intention of my…" Billy smacked himself on the head as he remembered Trini's admonishment about speaking to small children. "Think Kim level…think Kim level…" He knelt down to speak to Lily. "I mean, what is your na…Yeeeoooowwww!" He doubled over in pain from a well-placed kick.
"Aaaaaah! I'm not supposed to tell strangers that!" cried Lily. "You are a stranger. Well, you're strange. I'm telling my mommy that you're stalking me!"
"Are you insane?" moaned Billy as he tried to stand back up. "You are the one who sought me out as a student for this uh… illustrious place of education." Billy quickly mentally reviewed his monetary holdings. Perhaps if he searched under all his cushions he'd get enough change to afford dance lessons from Alpha. The little droid was an expert on the Robot and the Moonwalk.
"Oh yeah, I forgot," replied the little girl. She held out her hand with a smile. "My name is Lily."
"Billy," replied the Blue Morphin Ranger as he kept trying to shake off the effects of Lily's kick. "For a diminutive youngster, you sure have a powerful kick."
"That's because I'm the bestest dancer ever!" exclaimed Lily. "Oh, and also because I go to the Pai Zhuq Day Care Center where they teach me all this fun kung fu stuff!"
"Really?" asked Billy. "All us Rangers get in the way of training is Zordon zapping at our feet with his eyebolts to make us dodge them."
"Rangers?" asked Lily in confusion.
"Oh, uh…" Billy began as he realized his slip of the tongue. He hoped Zordon was still too engrossed in watching his favorite soap opera, 'All My Heads,' to notice.
"You know the Power Rangers?" Lily asked excitedly. "Oooh! Can I meet the Yellow Ranger? He's my favorite!"
"Uh, the Yellow Ranger's a female."
"Really?" replied Lily. "Well, I changed my mind then. I don't want to be the Yellow Ranger if I don't get to have a skirt and boobies."
"I wouldn't worry about that," said Billy as he patted the little girl on the head. "Once the Power Rangers defeat the bad guys, with the assistance of the superb inventions of the illustrious Blue Ranger, there will be no more need for Power Rangers." He had already written the speech he planned on giving once Angel Grove realized who the true hero was and made him their king.
Lily nodded. "Well, maybe this Blue Ranger can invent something better for you to wear." She pulled at his overall strap. "Or maybe you should just tell your mommy to stop dressing you."
"Hey!" snapped Billy. "Enough about my overalls! No one makes fun of them. Not even a silly brat like you." He glared at the four year kid. No one ever understood his need to look like a cowboy. Not even him actually.
"Okay," said Lily in a quiet voice. "But don't blame me if you stay a big loser and end up having to marry some weird alien."
"Can we please just get started?" asked Billy in annoyance. "The dance is on Saturday."
"Okay, but we have to hurry. I have a six o'clock lesson in an hour with some kid who wants better moves on the pachinko machine. That's in… hmmm…" she looked up at the clock. "Now the big hand needs to be on the six. No…I think it has to be…"
"You have an hour," Billy stated impatiently. "Just show me the cool moves I need to sweep Marge off her feet and make Kim and Trini so envious that they regret ever having laughed at me and saying 'Dear God, no' when I asked each of them for a date."
"Okay," began Lily. Then she held out her hand. "Ahem…my payment?"
"After you teach me how to dance." Billy had already learned his lesson from his hours of slaving in the Power Chamber. Zordon did not get his head rubs until he zapped all the information about the different aliens and their technology directly into his brain. Billy snorted at this. Did those idiots really believe it was possible for a fifteen year old to know that much about alien technology he'd never even seen before?
Lily sighed. "Fine, then. Do this." She began to jump and tumble and hop around the shed. Crashes could be heard all the way to the main building of the Pai Zhuq daycare. Teachers and students all dived under their desks in fear of a nuclear attack.
"Like this?" asked Billy. He too began to jump and tumble and hop around the shed.
"It's the end of the world!" someone cried at the school.
Lily stopped dancing. "That's perfect!" she exclaimed. "Wow, I'm a really good teacher." She didn't realize that with all the jumping, tumbling, and hopping the four walls of the dilapadated shed had fallen down.
"Really?" Billy asked. "In that case, time for me to be the hot guy. Eat my dust, Jason!" he called. He began to head off.
"Wait!" cried Lily. "What about my payment?"
"Oh, almost forgot." Billy reached into his pocket. He dropped a handful of smushed m & m's and cookie crumbs into her hand.
"Ewww!" said the four year old as she looked at the mess. "That's disgusting."
"That's about what your so-called lesson is worth," said Billy. "I already know how to crash into things."
Lily scrunched up her face. "No faaaaaaiiiiirrrrr!" she bawled as she flopped herself down on the floor.
"Won't do you any good," said Billy. "That's all I have. If you want me to get more cookies, then you'd better teach…"
"Yahhhh!" shouted Lily as she jumped up and again kicked Billy where it hurt most.
"Eeeeeeppp!" gasped Billy as he fell to the floor.
Lily grabbed his backpack, and ransacked it. "Whoohoo!" she cried as she held up the new bags of m & m's and oreo cookies. "And what's this?" She reached in and pulled out a third item. "What guy keeps a chocolate Easter Bunny in his backpack? Well, it's mine too." With that, she skipped back to the main building.
"Ohhhhhhhh," moaned Billy. He looked up and saw two large imposing men. "Who are…hey! No I'm not spying on your school! Noooooooo!" he cried as he was dragged away.
AN: Happy Easter!