It was always like this.
First, dinner at a fancy restaurant; then a ride, a late evening at a hotel and I'd wake up in the middle of the night next to a cold pillow and a note.
"'I already paid for the room. .
You can stay 'till morning , but I have some business to take care of.
Since you know my number,
Call me if you want …..
Those were the times when I most hated myself, because I knew it would never change, yet I insisted on spending random nights with him.
I covered my eyes to prevent tears from coming out.
It was over this time.
"Are you leaving again?" I asked in the only opportunity I've had so far of catching him before he left.
"Yes. I need to meet Reira in a few." Was his cold reply and he looked at the wristwatch absentmindedly.
"It's all about her, isn't it?" I snapped angrily and he stared at my naked figure on the bed, above his shoulder.
"Can't you look at me only?"
"… I am looking at you now." He said uninterested.
"… Can't you think of me only?" I muttered, feeling hurt. It wasn't like me being weak in front of men, but this was no ordinary man as far as I knew.
"You ask too much of me. I don't have the time to give you all you want."
He left after, not even looking behind.
A few months after the last time I saw Takumi, my anger for the bassist was so strong that I took a great disliking towards Trapnest itself. I couldn't even listen to the songs or see them on a magazine cover that my blood would boil and I would kick the nearest thing to me or leave the place.
My friends were all curious about this sudden change since I was a huge Tranes fan in the past, but I never told them a single reason why.
Perhaps I just grew tired of his iciness.
Perhaps I was jealous of Reira having his attention instead of me.
Later, when I was at home, turning my TV off and getting ready to sleep, the doorbell rang.
Of course it could only be him.
"How dare you appearing here?!" I hissed at him, my heart twisting and looping inside my chest, beating loudly and painfully against the ribs.
"This is my first free time. I wanted to see you…"
I only noticed I was crying when he dried my tears with a handkerchief, and without thinking I hugged him, rubbing my face against his chest, sobbing more.
"You idiot! Stupid! I hate you! I hate you very much, Takumi!"
"I know." He whispered, caressing the top of my head and hugging me back.
I let him in…
But afraid of losing him again, I promised myself I'd stay awake this time, even if I couldn't handle much after a long day of work…
I woke up in a jump at 8 am., looking at my sides desperately. What if he left me alone? Again?
He was still asleep next to me.
I smiled, seeking for warmth of his arms. Dizzily, his fingers crawled over my skin, squeezing my weak spots and sending comfortable shivers down my spine.
"I love you… So much, Takumi…"
There we were…
"I know , Kagome. I know…"
But maybe things, slowly, were starting to change.