After I insisted that I was alright, Edward left the house and came back again when Charlie was asleep. That was the routine. I laid there next to the god I didn't deserve. His arms were around me and I felt safe. I had forgotten about what had happen between Jake and me. It was like he never existed with Edward here, holding me. I snuggled against his chest and sighed in happiness. I never wanted him to leave but I knew he'd eventually have to go home so Charlie wouldn't suspect anything.
My eyes fluttered open and saw that Edward was gone. I must've fallen asleep a lot earlier this time. I came to the kitchen with a smile on my face and Charlie was eating scrambled eggs. He made some for me too so I grabbed my plate, a fork, and sat down at the table. We mostly ate in silence because Charlie and I are too alike. We don't mind being alone. My mother and I are different in some ways and alike in others but she was obviously the more reckless one. Although when it comes to love I don't think she'd be as reckless as I'm being right now. I mean I'm dating a vampire and a werewolf had kissed me. Will I ever be normal?
I finished my eggs quickly and hurried out the door but then before I could get my jacket on Charlie spoke.
" Where are you going," Charlie asked with sympathetic eyes for some reason. There was a reason behind his question and I was afraid to find out. I don't know why though. It felt like he was pushing me back on a rollercoaster that I didn't want to go back on. Meaning that he was bringing up something I had tried to forget.
" To the store and I was thinking maybe go over Edward's house," I shrugged. I really didn't know where I was going. I just knew I wanted to get out of the house as fast as possible.
" Bella, I'm worried about Jake," Charlie began. My heart pace quickened and what happened yesterday flashed back. His words, " I love you" and that kiss. That kiss is what has me on the edge. It was so … passionate. And as much as I hate to admit it, I .. enjoyed it. " Bella it's unfair to him that you spend so much time with Edward. And not just Jake, when's the last time you spent time with your other friends, Angela or Mike?"
"I went shopping with Angela last week and I watched Mike play football," I said hopefully to get him off my case. Me and Angela just looked for new summer clothes. We didn't buy much but we bought something. Mike wasn't really the best at football and I never pictured him as a football fan either. He looked like a baseball fan that would scream when his team comes out to play. That's why I never go to games; too much yelling it's just annoying.
" Alright but you can't spend all your time with Edward. It's not fair to your friends and besides you won't see them much anymore. You guys have already graduated," He clarified while grabbing a dish towel and start washing the dishes.
" Okay bye Dad," I said and walked out the door. It was quite warm outside and I began questioning why I even brought a jacket. I hopped into the truck and drove to Shoprite. I was alone, well sort of. I was surrounded by millions of people all trying to get what the want and get out. But other than that I was alone, enough to think. I know I should tell Edward about the kiss but I didn't. This was going to turn into something I don't want it to be unless I do something. I grabbed some eggs and a gallon of milk. I tried not to think about the kiss but it kept slipping back into my mind. That made me think twice, and decided to give Jake a chance. I still loved Edward with all of my heart but I loved Jacob too. I guess I'd have to make a choice.
" Hello may I help you," an unfamiliar voice said and brought me back to reality. I looked forward and saw that it was the cashier. I sighed in relief and replied "yes". After I had purchased my things I went back to the house and put everything away. Charlie had already gone to work so I just sat there in the kitchen at the table. I placed my hands over my face and begin to think again. I don't know what's going to happen but I had to try and make everything right. I didn't want to endanger anyone yet anyone who's around me is endanger. How ironic. I'm only one helpless fragile human girl stuck in the world of vampires and werewolves. Where I don't belong. But somehow I played a part in both of their lives. Was it just bad luck that I found these two? Or was it all in fate?
The doorbell rang and I opened the door. Dashing as ever, it was Edward. I couldn't but help but stare. His pale skin, golden hair, golden eyes, and a face Italian artists could never sculpt because his would always be better. He was perfection, through my eyes, I didn't deserve any part of him. I wouldn't be surprised if he had found someone else, maybe another vampire, more worthy of his love than I was. I would be sad but at least he would've been happy. That's all I want for Jacob and him, happiness but I know I'm going to end up having to give one of them the opposite no matter how much it hurt me.
" What are you doing here," I asked. " I thought you were going hunting."
" I wanted to talk to you about what the Voltouri had said," He pointed to the chair telling me to sit down. I took a sit and then he took his. " You don't have to become one of us."
" I must Edward," I argued. " And it's not your choice, it's mine. If you don't want to change me then I'll just ask Carisile or Alice. If I don't change sooner or later Edward, they'll kill me you know that."
" We can protect you. I wouldn't let them lay a finger on you," He grinded his teeth.
" You saw the way they took you on! You could barley handle Jane! I'm doing this for you Edward," I yelled and was almost about to cry. Edward had a sad and ashamed expression on his beautiful face. I hate that expression, he looked so vulnerable and weak. I wanted my knight in shining armor back again. But it's my choice. No one else's and then I remembered what Jacob had said. He said that I had a second choice.
" You will have a choice Bella. The rest of us didn't have a choice. I didn't have a choice and I don't want you to regret anything. If I could become human for you Bella, I would do it. You can stay human, you don't have to have this life," Edward placed a letter in front of me. I looked at him and then the letter. It was a normal letter but what ever information it had contained I knew it had something to do with me staying human. I ripped it open; it was a letter of acceptance to Dartmouth.
" Edward," I scowled. " I don't need Dartmouth I've already been accepted to the University of Alaska. And I only applied to keep Charlie happy since he doesn't know that I have to choose between being a human or a vampire."
" You'd love Dartmouth," He smiled gently. " At least give me a couple of years." I see, he's using Charlie, and the college thing to his advantage. He knows I'd want to make Charlie happy.
" No," I stubbornly grunted. " I've already graduated, why wait? Two more months."
" Two years." He really wanted me to be a human.
" Alright forget time limitations. If you want me to change you then you're going to have to accept the condition," he explained.
" What's the condition," I was suspicious.
" Marry me first," Edward proposed. I was left in shock. I didn't say a word.
" You've got to be kidding me," I finally spoke. I couldn't believe my ears, he wanted me to marry him. I never thought he'd say those words. Why me?
" I'm not. I'm serious," Then he studied the expression on my face and sighed. " You don't have to answer now. Is it because I didn't have enough time to get a ring?"
" No it's not the ring," I choked out but then he understood what was making me act like this.
" I know about what happened with Jacob," He snarled his name. " I know you didn't do it to me on purpose and I can't stop him from loving you nor being your other choice."
That caught me off guard. Edward knew, he must've read Jacob's mind. I don't know when he'd have the time to do that but still. Guilt washed over me like a tsunami. I was ashamed beyond all levels, I had drown. I drowned in my own actions and the events I couldn't stop from happening. I couldn't stop James from coming after me and biting me. I couldn't stop Edward from leaving me. I couldn't stop Laurent from almost killing me. I couldn't stop Victoria from hating me and bringing together a whole army to come after me, full of nothing but a lust for blood and death. Those vampires had reeked over destruction and I did nothing but hide. It was all because of me. It's always because of me.
" I'm sorry," was all I could manage to say. Tears began to form around the edges and corners of my eyes.
" Don't cry Bella," He tried to console me. " If you choose him I will always love you no matter what. And If you'd rather spend eternity with me then I would try my best to give 110% into making you happy. You've already made me the happiest man alive or dead by just breathing." I began to sob again but a little happy that he wouldn't stand in my way if I picked Jacob.
" You don't have to pick now," He said and then waved good-bye. He was going hunting and I watched him drive away through the window. I was alone again, but I welcomed the silence. I sighed, and was ashamed of what happened yesterday. I was hurting Edward, I if I kept this up I would keep hurting him.
I then starting thinking about what Charlie had said about spending more time with my friends. I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 11 am. Maybe I will go to La Push and straighten things out with Jacob and hopefully find out whether or not Edward read his mind. I then thought I should call Angela and ask her where she's going to college. I dialed her number and she picked up on the second ring.
" Hello," she said.
" Hey Angela," I started. " Did you get any letters from any colleges yet?"
" Yea I just got accepted into Dartmouth," she squealed with excitement.
" No way I just got accepted too," I exclaimed and we both ended up giggling. I began thinking I would get a kick out of college for a couple of years. We then discussed what classes we were planning on taking and some of them were the same for both of us. We were extremely excited about going to the same college. Now I don't have to worry about one of my most understanding and trusting friends from high school being far away and us getting out of touch. I began wondering if Edward knew about this the whole time.
" So where's Ben going," I asked. Ben was Angela's boyfriend and one of my friends.
" He doesn't know yet. He applied to a couple colleges but didn't get any letters yet," She sighed. I knew she was getting anxious.
" I hope you guys aren't that far apart," I said trying to make her feel better.
" Yea me too. But the colleges he applied to aren't that far away from where we're going so it's all good," she sounded confident.
" Hey, do you want to go see a movie or go shopping or something tonight," I wasn't sure what movies we'd see. " You can bring Ben."
" Alright. Are you bringing Edward? It could be a double date," She suggested.
" Um no. He's on a father- son outing with his dad," I lied. I got so used to lying about my boyfriends whereabouts that each lie began to sound more and more like the truth.
" Okay but I don't want you to feel lonely even though you have me and Ben," I knew what she had meant. I just then got an idea.
" It's okay. I'll bring Jake," I said. She giggled for some reason and asked what time.
" Um.. How about around 9?"
" Okay see you there," She giggled and then hanged up. I wonder what all the giggling was about. Maybe Ben was there doing something funny. He and Angela made such a great couple.
I then got into my truck once again but before I did I ditched the jacket and threw it in the back. I then put the keys in the ignition and drove to the La Push. On the way the songs were tormenting me. The radio played I don't want to know by Mario. It made me think about Edward, and Jacob in a sad way. I was hurting Edward. The lyrics were stuck in my head.
"Somebody said they saw you The person you were kissing wasn't me And I would never ask you I just kept it to myself," The lyrics tormented me but the beat had me tapping my feet to it.
"I don't wanna know If your playin me, keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore And if your creepin, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know." Strange enough I found my self singing along. This was my new theme song, I guess. I mean I was hurting the two men I love and I hate to choose between them. By the time the song was over I had already parked my truck in front of Jake's house and he was running out to greet me.
" Hey Bells," He said giving me a quick hug, probably remembering yesterday. He had almost killed me in that bear hug.
" Hey Jake," I laughed. He finally put me down and let me breathe. Jake always had a lot of energy, that's one of the many things I like about him. I then got serious. " Jake we need to talk."
" I figured that. It's about Edward isn't it?" He knew me too well. He suggested that we go into the forest where it'll be more private. His father has ears like a hawk. We walked through the lush trees and hard cold dirt. I almost tripped a couple times but he caught me. We finally came to a stop and he took a seat underneath his favorite tree, our tree. When we were kids I'd come to La Push with my father to play with Jake while our fathers went fishing. He was my best friend back then and he is now. I can still remember that day. We were running through the forest when we weren't supposed to and found this tree. We had said it would always be our tree. I looked at the engraved letters on the bark of the tree. On that day, when we first found it Jacob had engraved something. He engraved right on the front of it, " Best friends forever, Jake and Bella."