*Headdesk* Yep, I'm actually doing it. A Self-Insert… how unoriginal, right? But I want to try to capture the realistic parts of a SI fic, so I'm keeping my character from being Mary-Suish. You all can breathe a sigh of relief now. XDD But, if you notice that any time my character becomes Mary-Suish, feel free to point it out to me. I appreciate constructive criticism, too. Just give this fic a chance, alright?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of the Abyss, or its characters and locations. I only own my SI character here.
August 24 2012: CHAPTER ONE RE-WRITTEN.
Ever had one of those days where you look in the mirror for a moment, pause, and get a sudden random bout of mild depression? This was one of those moments for me.
Really, I'm being so weird, I know. I was fine just a minute earlier, albeit peeved that my internet connection had decided to have a seizure and give out on me. Just now, I had exited my bathroom after relieving myself, and I was in the process of washing my hands when I happened to look up in the mirror and see the girl staring back at me.
Dyed auburn hair that fell and ended past my shoulder blades and covering my forehead just above my brown eyes, and really fair skin that was the end result of being cooped up indoors almost all the time. I was never as outgoing or self-confident or social as my younger sister, who is the polar opposite of me. Which was why she's currently out at a party and I'm being more than happily content being the typical nerd. Yes, I'm proud of being a nerd. Watching animes, playing games, reading manga and chatting with internet friends is more than enough to keep me satisfied and happy. Pfft, people may say I have no life, but I do. I'm just one of more reserved people out there. Heh.
It's no lie. I really am happy with my life, however mundane it may be. Besides, I have no right to complain or be ungrateful when I'm fully aware that there are kids and even adults also out there who would die to be in my shoes right now. I'm well-fed, properly sheltered and educated and even am in the possession of luxury goods like playstation consoles, gameboys and whatnot since my family's well-off. Plus, my family's pretty stable. Sure there were a few trivial arguments here and there, but nothing too damaging that can't be apologized for and forgiven.
I sound spoiled, don't I? That's fine, for all I really know, I probably am. But really, I'm lucky for having such a wonderful and healthy lifestyle. I never forgot that. I never was ungrateful, and I sure as hell never bitched or moaned about something as minor as the total lack of BFFs or a broken mp3 player. Oh, I get seriously irked in the latter case, of course, but I never outright complained about it. Just get it replaced or fixed, or even just resort to go to Youtube for music. Problem solved.
And in the former case, I'm used to being a loner already. I've been one for years now. Guys more or less ignore me because they think I'm a prude- and they're right, I admit- and the girls at my school seemed insistent on disliking me for some reason, probably because I don't talk much and am not much of an 'out there' girl as well as the fact that I'm a 'goody goody'. And I'm fine with that, really, because if they don't like me for a trivial reason, then they probably won't be good friends anyway. Better having no friends at school instead of hanging out with shallow girls, I believe. So really, I'm fine about it. I'm used to it, I'm over it a long time ago. I'm actually happy being alone, truly, even if my mom gave me hard time about it.
So me suddenly feeling empty and depressed all of a sudden came as a surprise. Surely it can't be because of the lack of internet connection? I mean, that will be fixed in due time. There were times it goes on and off every once in a while.
And the reason then hit me, and I was left feeling disgusted at myself. I know exactly why I felt this way, but really, I only have myself to blame for 'that'. I'd rather not mention what 'that' is, because I'm still bitter at myself for 'that'. It's nothing scarring though, and I'm sure one would rather not hear about it unless otherwise, I'm sure. More reasons not to think about it.
'That', and it's also because I'm so spoiled, my life felt like it could never be enough. Because I'm such a spoiled brat that's used to getting what she wants, I'll always want some things I know I can never get.
A change in my mundane and repetitive life. Something exciting, something with actual meaning to it, so maybe I can actually feel alive instead of a robot going through the same thing over and over.
Oh, great, just… fucking great. See? I basically just called my life meaningless and boring when it isn't. Is this how I return my parents and their hard work to give me the good living environment I'm having today? By feeling ungrateful? Really, I'm horrible. How immature of me to even entertain such thoughts. I won't be surprised if a third party from the outside hated me for having such thoughts. I know I would, and that would be so damn hypocritical of me.
It's wrong, I know. And because I'm wrong, I pushed it away and decided to go to my room and play a game to distract me from such gloomy thoughts. I'm currently, as my dad's at work and my mom's out shopping, so the flat that we live in feels quiet. Before I head over to my bedroom, I look out the window to our backyard to see if Q-Q and Chloe are up for a walk. The two dogs were both asleep though, and I didn't want to wake them.
After I entered the bedroom I shared with my sister, I made my way over to where the playstation 2 console was set up and skimmed through the many games I have in my possession. Eventually, I picked Tales of the Abyss out from the stack, as I'm feeling up to continuing my second playthrough and getting the sidequests I missed the first time.
The game disk was placed in the console and was being loaded up. I was seated on a computer chair that I have moved in front of the television, since the only couch in my bedroom was a long plush couch that's meant to be used when watching the television here. Already, I felt the familiar sense of simple happiness starting to wrap around me as I listened to Bump Of Chicken's Kama being played. Bump of Chicken… rather a strange name for a band, don't you think? Even till now, I haven't gotten over how silly it is. But, hey, whatever works for them, right?
As I tapped my fingers against my knee in accordance to how the singer sung, around near the end, I heard both Q-Q and Chloe barking loudly all of a sudden. I frowned, listening to them. Though I have heard them bark before, this is the first ever that the of them that both dogs are barking simultaneously with equal intensity, as if alarmed and angry. Not even a cat that climbed over the wall or a repair guy that came over made the both of them bark at the same time.
My curiosity piqued at what could be so alarming to get both dogs to bark, I placed the controller that I was holding onto on the tiled floor and made my way towards the sliding glass door that led to our backyard.
"Ah. What? Why are you two barking?" I casually called out after sliding the door open.
The last thing I remembered after that were my two dogs- with their fur standing completely up on end- charging in my direction as a shadow suddenly dropped down right in front of me from above and feeling something hard and heavy crash down onto my head and making my entire world explode into bright stars before going completely dark. And I thought no more.
I finally found you.
Ow… my head…
I felt myself becoming awake as soon as I became painfully aware of the harsh throbbing in my head. Since my eyes were still closed, my world was still pitch black. I heard myself groan, clenching my hands into fists.
I should have closed my windows. The sound of those chirping birds were really grating on my nerves, making my headache feel worse. …Wait… did I open my windows anytime at all today? I don't… I don't remember at all…
Now that I'm a bit more aware, it felt like I'm lying on something soft. My bed? Oh, wait… don't tell me I ended up at a hospital. That would explain the open windows, because I can now remember that I haven't opened them at all today.
Damn… I must have given my mother, my father, or my sister- whichever one of them was the one who found me- quite a scare. Hell, I know I would be scared if I found someone lying unconscious on their bedroom floor.
"Are you alright?" I heard from somewhere above. Wait… was that a guy, or a girl? I couldn't tell in my current state. Plus, they sounded too young to be someone working at a hospital... maybe I'm sharing a room with another patient?
I felt two gentle fingers pressing against the side of my throat to check for a pulse, I believe. I would have told the child that I was awake and alike, but my mouth felt like dry cotton.
I didn't want to wake up yet. Maybe if I stayed quiet, the kid would leave me be once he realizes that I'm not dead. I felt sore all over, and the throbbing pain in my head still bothers me. Once I'm feeling good enough to even stand, I'll get up.
The fingers pulled away, and I felt a soft hand touching my shoulder before giving it a shake. "Miss? Miss? Are you awake? It's not safe here, the monsters would get you. You need to get up."
Monsters? In the hospital? Ah, I see. This kid's playing pretend, is he? I have to admit, they are good at playing pretend, because the worry in their voice actually sounded genuine. Still, they are rather insistent. They continued to shake my shoulder in order to try and get me to 'wake up'.
"Mm… I'm up, I'm up…" I muttered, groaning and pressing a hand to my forehead with a hiss. "My head… ow…"
I felt the same gentle hands holding onto my shoulders to help me sit up, and I reluctantly opened my eyes slowly before blinking once, twice, and a few more times.
…What…? What the hell…? This isn't a hospital. I… am I actually outdoor?
The first thing I noticed is green. Literally. Green everywhere. Thick foliage, weeds, bushes, plants and grass everywhere. Tree trunks surround the area, also green in color, coated in moss of even a darker green. There was the occasional vine hanging off from one tree to another, and I distinctly could hear the soft sound of rushing water. A river, perhaps?
"I'm… in… a forest…?" I voiced my thoughts aloud, as if I could confirm if this was all real by asking. No… "…Just a dream…"
"No, you're quite awake now," the voice that I heard from earlier said to me. This time, they sounded from right next to me. "I'm glad. You're in Cheagle Woods, do you remember now?"
"Wh… Cheagle… Woods…?" I asked incredulously. Despite my disbelief, I couldn't seem to find my voice to sound as shocked as I felt inside. Even through my foggy state of mind, I recognized that name.
But… that's… I'm in…?
No… no, no, no, no, no… Cheagle Woods only existed in a game. It wasn't real at all. It's only a fictional location in a fictional game world. A game that I occasionally played. That's it, I'm dreaming. Yeah, just a weird dream; not like I never had a dream like this before, anyway. It's not real at all.
I suddenly winced when a spike of pain pierced through my already pounding head, and I grabbed it with both my hands; squeezing my eyes shut tightly. "Ow, ow, ow… hurts too much… too real… damn it…"
I felt a comforting hand resting on my shoulder. "Perhaps you should take a gel? I believe I have some. Do you need one?"
I took in a deep breath, and slowly opened my eyes again before turning to face the owner of the voice. "No… it's only a headache. It'll… go… away…?"
My words died in my throat as I blanched, and my eyes widened when I finally got a good look at the person next to me.
I let out a loud shriek and abruptly pushed away from the person that held me; shocking them as their eyes widened in alarm. Not really thinking, I scrambled as far as I could away, eyes wide and my mouth open in a gape as I stared at the person like he was a ghost.
Wide, leafy-green eyes stared at me in shock and surprise. Equally leafy-green bangs fell against their forehead, with two long ponytails tied on either side of their head. They were wearing a pale-green coronation dress along with a hairband with giant cotton balls hanging from the side, with stockings of the same color underneath as well as gold-colored shoes. A golden necklace in the shape of a tuning fork hung from their neck, resting against their chest. They were also clutching a golden rod that was also in the shape of a tuning fork.
Fon Master Ion blinked for a moment, before standing up from where he had been kneeling on the grass. "Is something wrong?"
No... way... No way, no way, no way! It can't be! No way in hell could this be possible. How could something like this be so real!? It can't be true, it just can't be true!
Well, there's the prologue. What do you think so far? It would make me happy if you click the review button on your way out. ;)