A/N: Kind of angsty with an extended lemony ending, so if you don't like that kind of thing then I strongly recommend that you don't read any further. Don't say I didn't warn you. Also, this was inspired by the song "All you wanted" by Michelle Branch, though it isn't a songfic. There might be some OOC behavior, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible. Btw, they are about 15 here (it's set at the very end of part 1) and, yes, I know that's very young, if this bothers you, again, I advise you to turn back!
Thanks for reading^^ and don't forget to review! Please, please, pretty please hit the button below when you're done – I want to know what you thought of the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the abovementioned song
Neji was always the best at everything.
While we were at the academy it often seemed to me as if he could do no wrong. The rest of us struggled and sweated our way to success but he always made every new lesson seem effortless.
I wanted so badly to be like him.
To me he appeared perfect without even trying and I often caught myself enviously wishing that I could be as good as he was. I wanted to be him. From afar he appeared to have everything anyone could ever want.
If I was completely honest with myself then I had to admit that part of my envy stemmed from the fact that he came from a prestigious clan - as if good looks, intelligence and prodigious talents weren't enough he also had a family name that inspired respect, and maybe even a little awe. From the academy students, at least.
He never paid anyone the slightest mind. Didn't even bother to respond to the fangirls that trailed adoringly after him – not even to tell them to get lost. Unlike the Uchiha in the year below us, he never had to contend with their annoying advances - they were simply too intimidated by his cold, empty gaze to even try to flirt with him. Plus, with Neji you could never be sure if he'd simply ignore you or decide to take any friendly gesture and turn it into a challenge that inevitably left the unwary and innocent literally lying in the dust gasping for breath through the pain he could inflict with a simple flick of his fingers.
Somehow, that didn't detract from his popularity, his sheer inapproachability didn't stop the admiring girls or the envious boys, but Neji just didn't seem to care if he was liked or not. He had no friends – he wasn't one to inspire friendly feelings, you either wanted to be with him or be him – and was completely unperturbed by that fact.
Needless to say, I never even tried to speak to him. I was so far beneath him, both in skill and social status, that I quaked at the mere thought of the disdainful gaze he would surely turn on me if I was ever foolish enough to act on the desire to be close to him.
There was just something about him that made me watch him – surreptiously, of course, I wasn't some simpering fangirl – made me want to be in his sphere of existence if only to bask in the aura of success he carried with him wherever he went.
He became a genin just as effortlessly as he did everything else – not that I ever doubted him – and was quickly labeled the number one rookie of the year. I couldn't help being proud of him, even as the worrying realization that maybe I was just a tad obsessed flitted across my mind.
But that was the least of my worries – far more important was the fact that I'd been assigned to the same genin team as the Hyuuga prodigy I was apparently completely infatuated with.
Though I was incredibly awkward and tongue-tied around him at first, he affected to not notice my blushes or stammers, and eventually I grew so used to his presence in my daily routine that my natural curiosity reasserted itself and I found myself staring at him boldly, searchingly, trying to discover the secrets he hid behind a stoic façade and empty eyes.
We gravitated toward each other during training times almost naturally – which wasn't really surprising given that our team comprised myself, Neji, Rock Lee and our sensei Maito Gai. With typical arrogance Neji simply assumed that I would want to be his sparring partner (he didn't need to know that I was ecstatic at that particular turn of events) and he simply incorporated me into his program without ever asking whether I was happy with the arrangement.
One day I finally gathered the courage to ask, "Why do you train with me, Neji?"
I fully expected a grunted 'hn', sometimes it felt as if Neji didn't know how to speak in full sentences at all, but I was slowly learning to distinguish the underlying notes in his voice, so I didn't really mind that he wasn't particularly verbose – we communicated just fine this way. To my eternal surprise he frowned at me, looked away and finally replied in an annoyed tone, "Did it escape your notice that you and I are the only sane people on this team, Tenten?"
Typical Neji – he could send me to the heights of happiness while crushing me into the depths of despair, and all with one short sentence. I nodded and adopted a business-like expression, awaiting his nod before launching a new wave of weapons.
The months passed incredibly quickly, and the more time I spent with Neji the more I grew in his estimation, until, at last, I could hug the knowledge that he – grudgingly – respected my abilities to myself. I finally had his trust – as far as Neji was able to trust anyone – and I before I knew it I had fallen so deeply into his world that I could hardly distinguish where his ended and mine began.
Slowly, as he allowed me brief glimpses of the anger and pain he bottled up so successfully, I realized that my previous conclusion that he had the perfect life was about as far from the truth as I could get. The first time I stopped by the Hyuuga compound to see why Neji had failed to turn up at dawn for our usual sparring session, I realized my mistake almost at once.
Coldness seeped through the buildings of the compound, a coldness that had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the people who lived there. There hung an almost unnatural silence in the air as people scurried about their business, and fleetingly I felt a stab of sympathy for Neji. Much as he tried to hide it – and succeeded - I knew by now that he was anything but emotionless, and I could only guess at how badly this place must affect him.
I shivered as I quickly retreated and shook my head in wonder that the bleakness of the compound hadn't crushed his spirit completely as yet. Instead of feeling pity the small glimpse into his private life had given me a new-found respect for the boy I already admired so much.
Gradually Neji began to accept me, and as we grew closer – or something like that – I finally came to understand how cold the world he inhabited really was. And it made me ache to touch him, to hold him, to make the world a warmer, brighter place for him. But I knew he would never allow that, and so I kept those urges to myself.
Instead I decided to take a leaf out of Neji's book, and I firmly placed all thoughts of family and home – the things I didn't have – from my mind, and concentrated on what I did have. I tried to keep up with Neji and my abilities developed quickly until I could tell myself that my dream of being the best kunoichi of my generation was within my reach.
Our team was a strange amalgamation that seemed to work fairly well nonetheless. We all seemed to understand each other's shortcomings and talents, and our mission records attested to the success of our teamwork. Occasionally, Lee would challenge Neji in his never-ending quest to prove that hard work could overcome sheer genius, and these were the only times that I wished I was part of any team but this one.
I hated the side of Neji that surfaced during those bouts with Lee – the cold superiority, the disdain, the arrogance, the almost sadistic pleasure he took in forcing Lee to his knees time and again. I tried to dissuade Lee from challenging Neji – he was clearly never going to be able to beat him, even Gai-sensei was sometimes pushed to the limits of his taijutsu abilities to keep up with Neji's Gentle Fist – but Lee refused to heed my warnings.
After Lee inevitably lost I would always spend the evening wallowing in misery. Wondering what kind of person I was – because despite Neji's capacity for cruelty I couldn't help the thrill of satisfaction whenever he stood over Lee, having sent the boy flying with barely any effort whatsoever. Strangely, I found that reassuring – the idea that Neji was untouchable.
I had just returned to my apartment – fully healed after my match with Sabaku no Temari during the Chuunin exams – and had spent most of the evening wallowing in self-pity. I had trained so hard, been so confident of my abilities, but all of that seemed to disappear under the weight of the knowledge that the Suna kunoichi had beaten me so effortlessly.
The hesitant knocking at my front door was a welcome distraction from the bleakness of my thoughts and I hurried to answer it gratefully. The anticipation lasted only as long as it took me to open the door and take in the sight of Neji leaning against the doorjamb, pale and clammy with one palm pressed against his forehead and a grimace of pain on his face.
I immediately forgot all about my own troubles as I grasped his arm and pulled him inside – he looked about ready to fall over. Neji collapsed on my couch, and I rushed to the bathroom to soak a washcloth in cold water. When I returned with the makeshift compress his eyes were closed, but the lines of pain around his eyes were deeper than before, and when he remained unresponsive to my hovering presence I decided to take matters into my own hands.
Suppressing the erratic thumping of my heart I sat down and slowly reached over him, my hands going to the back of his head, burying under the fall of dark hair to reach the ties of his forehead protector. His hand shot up to grip my wrist warningly but he held me with only a shadow of his usual strength and I shook him off easily as the knot of fabric at the back of his head gave way to my busy fingers.
I couldn't resist stroking over his hair a little when I drew back but my hands wavered and shook when I saw the lines on his forehead. My eyes flew to his but I couldn't hold his gaze – the knowing bitterness there made my heart contract painfully. Stilling the questions that flew to my lips I reached for the washcloth and placed it gently over the marks, hiding them from view.
Neji's eyes closed again and he hissed a little at the contact of the cool cloth but he stayed silent and I took my cue from him and simply sat back waiting to see if my (admittedly pathetic) ministrations had any effect whatsoever. The silence lasted through many moments, but as always I was so mesmerized by the dips and planes of his face that I took the opportunity to study him quite contentedly.
I jerked a little in surprise when his low baritone broke the silence. Without opening his eyes Neji started to speak, and I was thankful that he kept his eyes closed so that he couldn't see the gathering tears in mine as I listened to the reason for his uncharacteristic visit.
"The marks," he began, speaking in short, clipped bursts of words, "a curse seal. To protect the Byakugan. The Caged Bird seal of the clan. Used to control the branch members. It inflicts pain when the correct hand seals activate it."
I felt my hand covering my mouth, stifling my gasp of horror as the realization that he'd been on the receiving end of that pain – and recently at that – set in. Still, I managed to stay quiet, knowing how prickly his pride was when it came to showing any sign of human weakness.
He finally cracked an eye open to look at me, gauging my reaction. He seemed satisfied by my blank expression because he closed his eye again and resumed speaking, "I tried to kill the heir. I had to be punished."
I had heard of his match with Hinata, had shocked all the other genin by standing up for Neji. They were all appalled by his behavior, but I … understood him. He wouldn't kill simply because he could - no, there was much more to this story than a simple family feud over some tiny and ridiculous thing, and suddenly his previous words clicked everything into place.
The urge to hold him, to comfort him, was stronger than ever but I managed to keep my arms crossed firmly across my chest, my fists tight against my ribs. "Did you mean to kill her?" I asked quietly instead, after a moment of quiet reflection on the correct way to handle this.
His eyes flew open and I could see the flare of pain in their depths as emotions gave the pearlescent orbs a grayer hue. "Yes," he hissed venomously, staring unflinchingly into my eyes – waiting defiantly for my condemnation.
At last I shrugged as carelessly as I could, "You can't have been surprised by the clan's reaction then."
A flicker of something … gratitude? respect? … darkened his eyes further, and he leaned wearily back against the couch again, "Hn."
Gathering all my courage, I placed my hand on his clenched fist and gently pried his fingers apart, "What's done is done," I said softly, watching him jerk as he fought against the urge to pull away.
I stood and quickly went about getting him a fresh compress and some headache tablets, a blanket and a pillow, a jug of water. The items were piled on the couch next to him, or placed on the table within his reach, and I had no more reason to linger.
"Good night, Neji," I said softly, turning the lights off as I left the living area and made my way to my bedroom, still fighting the urge to wrap my arms around him, and tell him that everything would be all right.
I don't know what woke me. It couldn't have been a sound – Neji could move noiselessly when he wanted to – but I felt his presence and slowly came up from the depths of sleep. Peering blearily at the room my eyes finally focused and I could make out the paler shadow in the doorway.
Neji stood like a statue, staring at me, and it was too dark for me to read his expression but, without words, I knew what he needed (probably understood his need better than he did himself), and I sighed softly as I drew back the bedcovers – inviting him in.
He hesitated for only a second before he moved swiftly and then he stood next to the bed, his pale skin shining through the dark. I turned onto my side, to give him at least the illusion of privacy in his moment of weakness, and forced my body not to tense up as I felt the dip of the mattress from his added weight.
For a long time he lay stiff and silent, I could almost feel him trying not to touch me, and, at last, I couldn't take the tension anymore. I blew an impatient breath through clenched teeth and reached behind me. Grabbing the arm furthest from me, I pulled his only slightly resisting body into my back, and settled his arm heavily over my waist. His fist was clenched on the sheets in front of my stomach, his breathing harsh in my ear, his body heated where it touched my back.
He didn't draw away. And I had no idea what that meant, but finally he began to relax, his fingers unclenched and his breathing slowed, and I allowed the slight smile of relief to pull at my lips as I nestled closer against him and let sleep take me again.
A month later Neji showed up on my doorstep again. The night was stormy, reflecting the conflicting emotions in his eyes, but this time the pain was mental only. I stepped back to allow him in, wondering if this was going to become a monthly occurrence.
It was late, and I was tired, had just gotten into bed when he knocked, but I waited expectantly once he'd entered my small apartment. He paced the floor restlessly, and with a start I realized that he was nervous. Probably not about the impending battle with Naruto in the morning, but about the entire situation – he doubted his ability to become a Chuunin!
For a moment the shock held me immobile – except for the night Neji had come to me when he was in pain - I had never seen him looking anything but composed and resolute. I sighed, and on his next circuit grabbed his arm when he passed me, swinging him around to face me.
"You'll be great," I said, sincerely, and watched him relax, the usual cool mask slipping back in place. He stared intently at me until I could feel the blush creeping up my neck, and raised a finger slowly. Drawing a line up from my collarbone to just below my eye, almost hypnotically, tracing the rising blood with both sight and touch.
His hand jerked away from my skin as if he too had been held in some kind of trance-like state, and in a rush of cool air he was gone - leaving me to sink slowly to the floor, trembling slightly, sensations still roiling through my body, confused thoughts chasing through my mind.
The next night I was the one pacing my small living-room in a never-ending circle. Neji had actually lost. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the concept. Gai's words to Neji had turned out to be prophetic: months ago Gai had warned Neji about the dangers of underestimating an opponent when Neji had once again ridiculed Lee's attempts to match his strength.
The moment I had seen Neji remove his forehead protector I had known that he had allowed the anger to get the better of him. Neji willingly baring his shame for all to see? Not bloody likely. Not if he was in his usual frame of mind.
And now I was worried. He hadn't been injured that badly – mostly chakra exhaustion by the looks of it – but he hadn't reappeared after his match, to watch the rest. And not even defeat would stop Neji from analyzing future opponents, so I had known that something was going on. Then had come the attack on the village, and I had no idea if he was dead or alive.
The knock had barely sounded before I flung the door open. I had known he would come – instinctively I had felt that he would need me tonight. Still, the relief of seeing him standing there whole and uninjured weakened my knees to the extent that I clutched the door for support.
His eyes were different. I noticed that immediately. They were darker – as they always were on these nights when he couldn't gather the strength to keep the walls he'd built in place – but instead of the murderous rage I'd expected to see, his eyes were deep pools of confused hurt.
This time I was unable to stop myself from reaching out and I don't know who was more surprised – me or Neji – when he not only allowed my arms to wind around his neck, but wrapped his arms tentatively around my waist and rested his cheek on top of my head. Eventually, I drew away and pulled him inside after me.
We sat down slowly, not speaking, and I watched the play of unfamiliar emotions chase across his face. Finally he said hoarsely, "What if everything that had ever driven you turned out to be a lie?"
I blew at my bangs and answered slowly, "Nothing is set in stone, Neji. I can always find new things to drive me."
He shook his head, looking confused again, and my heart ached for him. For a long time he stared at his hands in silence but then he raised his head almost defiantly, "I-I…" he cleared his throat, but the words didn't come and he shrugged helplessly.
He turned his head slightly and our eyes met, and, in that moment, I knew that I was in love with Hyuuga Neji. Loved him in a way that defied logic, transcended right and wrong, and would endure for all time, even though he was unlikely to ever return the sentiment. His eyes bored into mine as his mouth twisted, and I could almost feel my limbs come unhinged.
I'm lost … help me ... I'm slipping … save me
His eyes suddenly seemed impossibly eloquent. Without thought I reached out and cupped his cheek, and, despite the pleading chaos in his eyes, I was still surprised when he leaned into my palm and closed his eyes briefly. I took his hand, squeezed lightly, and stared back just as intently.
I can save you … show you the way … when you're ready … I can take you away … I'll be here
I had never fully appreciated the significance of a glance. Never really understood how a picture could be worth a thousand words until that moment. We communicated through our eyes – perfectly understanding the silent words the other uttered – and I was amazed that I had never realized just how desperately he needed someone to care about him. The wonder of the quickly veiled trust in his eyes filled me with purpose. I won't fail you.
He took the news that he had not been selected as a Chuunin much harder than I expected him to. It went beyond the normal disappointment all the rest of us were feeling. But I had a much better understanding of his thoughts by this time, and so I knew that he was seeing it as confirmation that he wasn't good enough. That he didn't deserve to be elevated – that, no matter how hard he worked, no matter how talented he was, he would never be able to escape his destiny as a second-class citizen.
It frustrated me to no end, how he would retreat into himself, go to some place where I couldn't reach him. We worked at rebuilding the village but though Neji's body moved and lifted and hammered and pushed, his thoughts were far away. When I could stand being shut out no longer I decided to speak up, and didn't modify my tone to spare his sensibilities when it came to emotion. Irritation and curiosity coated my tone thickly. "Where did you go?" I asked when he came out of another such trance to stare in surprise at the completed doorway he'd been tending to.
He didn't even deign to give me his usual 'hn' but I was determined. Eventually he would have another weak moment and then he'll have no choice but to let me in again.
The introspection lasted for quite some time. Tsunade-sama, my idol, the kunoichi I held as an example for myself, had come back to the village and taken on the role of Hokage before Neji finally seemed to make up his mind about whatever had been eating at him.
And so I knew he would come again. I waited for the knock. It came much earlier than expected. I was ready for it – as always, I was prepared to piece him back together - but this time was different. There was pain in his eyes - reflecting the ever-present hurt - there was need, but there was also a slight flicker of trust, and a sense of purpose.
This time he didn't wait for me to invite him in. He closed the door behind him firmly, and I could sense that the chaos was finally under control – if barely. He closed the distance between us slowly, drew to a halt in front of me and lifted a hand to cup the nape of my neck.
As every time before, his eyes spoke directly to my soul, I'm ready. Show me the way. Take me away.
He leaned forward, pressing his lips hesitantly against mine, moving persuasively. I felt the sweet pressure of his mouth against mine all the way down to my toes, and in shock I only stood there until I felt him falter. A slight smile curved my lips against his – obviously he had no idea where to go from here.
I stepped closer, wrapped my arms around his neck, and stood on my toes to trace the seam of his lips with my tongue. His hands tightened on my waist, I could almost feel the conflicting emotions in him, but then he gave up, opened his mouth and allowed my tongue to sweep inside, to explore him in slow, slick sweeps.
His fingers dug into my waist as he fought against the urge to take control, but he held back. Responded passively, let his tongue dance delicately against mine as he followed it back into my mouth. I pressed against him, losing all sense of reality. There was only the feel of his silky hair as I wound its length around my hands and the feel of tongue and teeth as he tugged gently at my bottom lip, sucking it lightly into his mouth.
I gave up control as easily as I had taken it, and his hands released their brutal hold on my waist to slide tentatively higher, resting on my ribs, his fingers stroking my back. My senses were reeling, my emotions in turmoil, and I tried my best to hold onto the clear thought that Neji needed me.
The kiss was doing funny things to my knees and I instinctively relied on the strength of his arms around me to keep me upright even as I began backing up, drawing Neji along with me. Finally, I felt the edge of the bed against the backs of my knees and I sank gratefully backward.
Neji's eyes opened, the sweep of long dark lashes lifting to show eyes that were dazed – as if he couldn't quite believe what had just happened. I held out my hand and he hesitated for only a second before taking it and lying down next to me.
His breathing sped up and his heart hammered when I placed my hand over it, as I trailed light kisses from his mouth, down his neck and onto his collarbone. I smiled at the slight flush that spread over his cheeks, and allowed my tongue to drag over the shell of his ear before slowly sucking at the soft skin in the hollow of his jaw. Neji's breath hitched at the slight tug of teeth and his hands flew up from their places at his sides to hold my shoulders, as if he was torn between dragging me closer and pushing me away.
I moved down his neck again, my tongue darting out in slow, wet licks across his skin, tasting him, and my hands slipped under his shirt to trace the muscles of his chest. He sucked in another breath when I brushed lightly over the skin, learning the dips and hollows of his body slowly. Surprise held me for a moment when he struggled upright and dragged the garment over his head in a swift movement, throwing it to the floor, but he was beautiful and he was trying so hard to change himself that I quickly forgot all about anything but the way his muscles quivered under the touch of my hands and my tongue as I explored my way down his body.
Tension ran through his veins, I could tell by the stiff way he held himself, but it was the pleasurable kind of tension and so I ignored it as I licked a slow line along the waistband of his shorts. A soft grunt made me look up at Neji again, afraid I had done something wrong, had hurt him somehow. He was staring at me, the wanting clear in his eyes, and then he'd moved swiftly from under me, rolling over to imprison me beneath his hard body.
A slow pulse started in the room, with his weight settling heavily – deliciously – over me. Instinctively I arched up under him and something almost primal seemed to flash in his eyes. His mouth crashed down on mine, seeking blindly, desperately, reaching for something. Abruptly I was uncertain, I was no more experienced than he was, now that we had come this far – Neji's intentions were clear in the thrust of his tongue, the brush of his hands on my body – I had no idea of how to proceed.
His hands buried in my hair, releasing the ties, stroking over it as he pushed his hips against mine and his tongue plunged into my mouth over and over. I moaned softly, and he reached under my body, lifted me slightly to tug my shirt over my head. He drew back to look at me, taking his weight on his arms, the muscles in his shoulders (when had he grown up so much?) bunching distractingly, but it wasn't enough to stop me from crossing my arms over my breasts, as I looked away and a blush covered my cheeks.
I kept my face averted as he gently grasped my wrists and pulled my arms away from my body, lifting them above my head, sliding his hands caressingly along my skin until our fingers tangled together above our heads. His head dipped, his hair swung forward and brushed over my shoulders as he mouthed the underside of one breast delicately before kissing around the curve. His tongue came out and he hesitantly lapped at the rosy peak. I gasped at the sensation of his wet tongue tracing my aching flesh, and my head swung back to watch as he took me into his mouth, sucking strongly. I gripped his fingers almost bruisingly and I couldn't stop the gasping moan from escaping as my hips rose in reaction.
His hips flexed as he pushed back against my involuntary thrust, and for the first time I became aware of the reaction of his body to mine. His hard length pressed against my abdomen, and I thrust up again, instinctively seeking. Neji trailed his hands back down my arms, brushing reverently over my breasts, as he panted into my hair, our bodies straining against each other, searching for the ultimate fulfillment.
Soft exploratory touches soon escalated into hungry sweeps of hands followed by the coolness of his tongue, as he laved the same attention on my skin that I had given to him earlier. Unable to stand the building pressure low in my stomach any longer I writhed beneath him, reached between our bodies, and rubbed my palm firmly over his hardness. Neji gasped, his mouth drawing away from mine, as he threw his head back and bucked into my hand. Liking this reaction, I closed my fingers around as much of him as I could through the barrier of cloth and stroked slowly again. A low groan slithered from between his lips as I stared up at him in fascination.
Suddenly he drew away, kneeling between my spread legs. I was still trying to orient myself to the loss of his heated body covering mine, when he placed his hands on my hips and tugged my pants down my legs in one swift movement taking my underwear with it. For a moment I was mesmerized by the blazing resolve on his features – the coil in me seemed to wind a bit tighter – and then I realized that I was naked. Before I could worry about it or become embarrassed about it, he leaned forward again and touched me hesitantly. His heated breaths brushed across my hips as his fingers dipped into the wetness of my body and I arched back in protest when he pushed two fingers into me with no warning.
His hand rested on my abdomen holding me down, stroking soothingly over the skin, but the feeling of being stretched, the burning pain, wouldn't abate and I didn't cease my uncomfortable wriggling. I had known it would hurt, but why on earth had no one ever mentioned it would hurt this much? Panic threatened as I thought of the fact that something much larger would soon take the place of his fingers and I couldn't stop the pooling of tears, but I refused to cry out in pain.
At last the burning subsided but it still didn't feel anything like good and I breathed deeply, tried to regain my composure, aware now of the intent way Neji was staring up at me, and of the fact that he'd kept perfectly still throughout my struggles to give me time to adjust.
I eyed him apprehensively, wondering what came next, mentally cringing at the thought of his fingers moving within me. His eyes never left mine as he leaned forward slightly to stroke the tip of his tongue deftly over the little nub of flesh that had been begging for his touch earlier. I gasped and jerked my hips upward again, forcing his fingers to slip slightly out as he continued to lick slowly, and the pleasure from before started to return, only to be increased a thousand-fold as he pushed his fingers back into me.
He curled his fingers on the next thrust and my hands flew to his hair, tangling in it as I held his head close to my body and gasped incoherent words of encouragement. Slowly, he increased the pace until I was writhing mindlessly beneath his touch.
Ignoring my whine of protest, my gasping pleas, he drew away from me at last, and slowly crawled back over me. The heavy weight of him settled against my entrance and I pushed my hips up, wordlessly begging to be filled again.
Still resisting the thrusting motions of my hips Neji reached up and tangled our fingers together, pressing my hands into the pillows above our heads again. He lowered his mouth, our lips met and clung, slowly, softly, passionately, saying everything he couldn't express with words, and, in one swift, sure thrust he pushed into my body for the first time.
Completely still for a moment, our mingled moans still ringing in the air, he kissed me again – this time a desperate kiss of lips, teeth and tongue, as he began a slow rhythm, driving into me over and over. My hands scrabbled frantically over the smooth skin of his back, my legs wrapped firmly around his hips as I met each thrust with one of my own, sure I was about to die from the sheer pleasure coursing through my body.
Abruptly Neji drew back a little, driving deeper, harder with each thrust, and reached between us to rub the little nub of flesh again. His eyes roved over our entwined bodies, lingered in fascination on the place where his body disappeared into mine, and I couldn't help but react to the look of pure lust on his features – my body tightened around his involuntarily and he threw his head back with a strangled 'oh god'. The movement changed his angle slightly to brush against something deep inside me that had me gasping his name. I was so close, my body reaching for fulfillment like it had never experienced, like I had never imagined could ever exist.
I could feel the strain in his muscles, could see the way he clenched his jaw to hold back, and knew his release was close, too. I reached forward wrapping my arms around his neck, and drawing his mouth down to mine again. I had to be as close to him as was possible – connected in every way.
The pleasure was building into one continuous stream instead of coming in short, sharp spikes, and I whispered heatedly against his mouth, "Let me take you away," before I was free-falling into space as my vision blackened and my body tightened, the coil inside snapping and spiraling out in waves of pleasure that consumed all my senses.
From a distance I was aware of Neji's body trembling, of his almost too hard thrust, of his hips jerking erratically against mine as he buried himself deep, of his hoarse groan as he buried his face in my neck and rode out the waves of his own release.
I was curled up against Neji, our legs still entangled, his arms around me, my ear resting over his heart – listening to the steady thump as it returned to normal. He reached down and snagged a sheet, pulling it up and over us. He sighed, a last trembling gasp for air, before his breathing slowed down too.
We lay in silence: I was listening to his heart, and his fingers were tracing aimless patterns on my bare back, making me shiver occasionally.
Suddenly he spoke, "I come here."
I raised my head to look at him in confusion. His eyes were calm oceans again – unreadable – but a slight flush covered his cheekbones.
"You asked where I go when I get lost in my thoughts," he elaborated uncomfortably. He pushed my head down again, and pretended not to feel the wetness on his chest from the tear that trickled down my cheek.
He brushed his mouth over my hair, and repeated softly, "I come here."