A/N: Second Glee fic (and this one is a multiple song fic). I've become a major hardcore fan of Brad Ellis. Brad is a very talented composer, among other things. But you would know him best as the piano man who never says a word but appears in every episode of Glee, whose character name is Brad.
Songs: That's Not My Name, Say My Name, Hello I Love You, and Elephant Love Medley
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Warnings: slash and crackishness and out of characterness (and technically since he never says anything, my portrayal of Brad would be an OMC).
Beta: FirstLaugh-LastTears because she's lying not two feet away from me (easy access) and she laughs at my stupid jokes (flattery) and tells me that I don't completely fail as an author (kiss-ass) and served as an inspiration for a lot of what happens in this story.
As the Glee kids filed out of the room, returning home for the day, the man at the piano stood and stretched. Mr. Shuester was the last to leave. He picked up his bag. "Thanks again, um…"
The man at the piano sighed as he began gathering up his sheet music. "Brad. My name is Brad. You know, Brad Ellis, who was in Glee with you for two years and was one of the ushers at your wedding?"
"Oh right." Shuester chuckled wryly. "Sorry about that Ben. I'll see you manana." He shut the door behind him.
"BRAD!" Brad shouted after him in frustration. Not that it did any good since the room was sound-proofed.
"I'm so sick of this bullshit! The only one who bothered to remember my name was Rachel and she's a freaking psychopath! I have to sit here day in and day out doing all the music, never saying a word and listening to them all whine about their drama! Its like living in a soap opera without the mind numbing entertainment!"
He tapped a few keys on the piano, playing at first slowly then picking up speed. "Four little words just to get me along. It's a difficulty and I'm biting on my tongue and uh." He threw his head back, his deep voice growing stronger and gaining power as he went along. "I keep stalling and keeping me together. People around gotta find something to say now!"
He stood, swaying a bit. His hands pressing down on the piano keys. "Holding back, everyday the same. Don't wanna be a loner! Listen to me, oh no, I never say anything at all." He thought of the countless times Rachel had chased someone around the piano. Making it harder for him to concentrate. He'd never said one word of complaint. "But with nothing to consider they forget my name, ame, ame…"
He bowed his head before shaking it wildly from side to side, the music speeding up now. "They call me man. They call me Pian-o. They call me guy. They call me dude. That's not my name! That's not my name! That's not my name! That's not my name!"
Brad was pounding away at the keys. "I miss the catch if they throw me the ball. I'm the last kid standing against the wall. Keep up, falling, these heels," He kicked up his leg. "They keep me boring. Getting glammed up and sitting on the fence now." He sat hard on the piano bench. The music drowning out a muffled "oof".
"So alone all the time at night." He looked around the empty room, a tad sadly, "Lock myself away, listen to me. I'm not. Although I'm dressed up, out and all with. Everything considered they forget my name, ame, ame…"
The music picked up speed again. "They call me quiet man but I'm a riot, yeah. Maybe Barbarous; always the same! Are you calling me piano man? Are you calling me music guy? That's not my name! That's not my name! That's not my name! That's not my….name!"
He heaved a sigh as the last of the music faded away. "Maybe I should just quit. I don't get paid enough for this crap."
"Please don't quit!" A deep voice said from…below him!?
He jumped off the piano bench, ran to the door (in case he needed a quick escape) and turned to look back.
"What, the, fuck?"
Noah Puckerman, Puck to the other students, Puckzilla to himself, was curled up, very uncomfortable looking, under his piano bench.
"Puckerman…what are you doing under there?"
Puck rolled out from under the bench and stood. Brad couldn't help but take a small, intimidated step back. Hole crap! The kid was huge. The double whammy of both tall and built. He was also a man whore.
"Well." He rubbed a hand over his Mohawk. "I slipped in during your song."
"I'm a tad more concerned with where you were than when you came in."
Puck grimaced a bit. "You see, I was hiding under your piano bench because I love you."
"Rape!" Brad screamed as he threw open the door and ran from the room.
Puck sighed, snapping his fingers, "Ah shucks and various kinds of dammit!" He ran out after his prey. He would get the SPPILF (Silent Piano Player I'd Like to Fuck) if it was the last thing he did!
"Come back! I promise you'll like it!"
"I refuse to be another one of your texting whores! I don't even have a cell phone!"
"How do you know about that?"
"I'm a fucking ninja."
"Are you serious?"
"Of course not you dunce. You people talk about everything in front of me like I'm an earless wall hanging!"
"But it wouldn't be like that with you! You complete me."
Brad stopped running (he was an old guy, his stamina wasn't what it used to be), his breath coming harshly. "Stop stealing movie lines!"
"I can't help it." Puck said, coming to a halt in front of him. "I'm a stud. I have no originality. I never needed it. Check out my guns." He flexed his impressively muscled arms.
"Alright, fine." Brad turned, walking back to the music room. "You say you love me." He opened the door, going straight to the piano. "Prove it. What's my name?"
He sat on his bench, glaring suspiciously at Puck who raised his hands in surrender and sat in one of the many chairs placed about the room, moving it closer to the piano. "Say my name, say my name. If no one is around you say, 'baby I love you'. If you aren't running game say my name. Say my name. You actin' kinda shady. Just callin' me baby. Why the sudden change? Better say my name." He sang, looking into Puck's eyes.
"I am not the one to sit around and be played. So prove yourself to me. If I'm the boy you claim, say my name. Say my name." The music stopped and Brad sent the younger man an expectant look.
Puck bit his lip. "I don't know it. No one ever said it and I felt kind of weird asking another dude his first name." Brad didn't look too happy at that. Puck thought furiously, grinning ferally when inspiration struck.
"Hello, I love you. Won't you tell me your name?" He sang softly. Brad glanced up startled, then almost automatically began to play along, following Puck's lead.
"Hello, I love you. Let me jump in your game. Hello, I love you. Won't you tell me your name?"
Puck moved behind Brad, singing into his ear. "He's walking down the street. Blind to every eye he meets. I hope that I'm the guy who can make the King of angels sigh."
Brad couldn't help but shiver a little. Puck's voice was marvelous.
Puck grinned. It was working, maybe personalizing the song a bit more would help.
"Hello, I love you. Won't you tell me your name? You hold your head so high, like a statue in the sky. Your arms are wicked, legs so long. When you move my brain screams out this song."
Puck slid his arms around Brad's middle that clenched in reaction. "Hello. I want you. Won't you tell me your name? Hello. I love you. I need my baby."
"Dude." Brad said stiffly as the song came to an end. "Get out of my bubble. None of this random singing is going to convince me of shit. And, for the record my name is Brad."
Puck sighed. He stepped back. One last chance… He drew in a breath and began to sing, one last time. "I was made for loving you baby. You were made for loving me!"
Brad shot him a surprised look. Puck nodded encouragingly. He knew Brad knew the words. "The only way of loving me baby, is to pay a lovely fee."
"Just one night. Give me just one night."
"There's no way 'cause you can't pay." Brad sang softly.
"In the name of love! One night in the name of love."
"You crazy fool, I won't give in to you."
"Love lifts us up where we belong. Where eagles fly on a mountain high!"
Brad shook his head. "Love makes us act like we are fools. Throw our lives away, for one happy day."
Together they sang, "Just for one day. We could be heroes, forever and ever. We could be heroes…"
Puck pressed against Brad's back, definitely violating the bubble. "And I will always love you."
Brad couldn't bring himself to care. "I can't help loving you…."
Together they finished, "How wonderful life is, now you're in the world."
A single tear slid down Brad's cheek. "How d-did you know th-that w-was my f-favorite m-movie?" He stammered out.
Puck smiled a man whore's smile. "Well…it's not that I was stalking you. It's just that I was doing research…on loving you."
"And yet you still didn't learn my name?"
"You don't wear a nametag."
"Oh Puck, I know you're a man whore but I don't care!" He threw his arms around Puck's strong soldiers. "Kiss me you fool!"
And Puck did. Because that's what man whores do best.