DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or the characters, all of that belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Gotta find a way
Yeah I can't wait another day
Ain't nothing gonna change
If we stay around here
Gotta do what it takes
Cause it's all in our hands
We all make mistakes
Yeah but it's never too late to start again
Take another breath
And say another prayer….
"So what do you think Isabella?" Dr. Stanley asked in a nonchalant way.
What did I think? At that moment I just thought that it was not a good idea at all, I was sure it was going to be worse than the living arrangement I was in right now. I really didn't want to do it, but this had been a topic for the last couple of sessions and I was getting the idea that this was the moment I needed to make a final decision because Dr. Stanley was not alone with me that day.
"I know right now it sounds like a really bad idea dear, but I assure you that we will all make the very best we can so you feel comfortable," Mrs. Masen added with that sweet and concerned voice she always used around me.
I kept quiet, thinking how to let Mrs. Masen know in the most subtle way that even thought I was thankful for her offer; it was not really something I wanted to do.
"Isabella, do you remember when we started our sessions? How I told you at the beginning it will seem to you that they were not going to help you at all?" Dr. Stanley asked.
I just nodded my head, my voice was stuck in my throat and I couldn't really form a coherent word.
"And do you feel that way? After all this time do you think these sessions were not worth it?" Dr. Stanley asked looking at my direction. I was doing my very best to keep my sight fixed on the floor.
I shook my head no, because it was true, if it wasn't for her counseling I would be in worse shape that I already was.
I saw a small smile played in the corner of Dr. Stanley's mouth, but she cover it quickly with the expressionless facade; the one she wore most of the time during our session time.
"I just…" I tried to speak. "I'm….scared," I finally confessed.
"Of course you are scared sweetie. This is going to be totally new for you and it will take time for you to feel at ease, but please Isabella, consider my offer. I really think this will work," Mrs. Masen added, and for some strange reason I did believe her, but I was still not totally convinced it was going to work out. I would hate myself if I did something wrong that made Mrs. Masen upset. The last thing she deserved was to be burden with me; she already did so much for me, more than I deserved.
"Isabella, I don't want to pressure you; you know that I'm not here to tell you what to do, but to help you reach the decisions that are best for you, and in this case you have to consider your situation. You know that in just over 5 months, the state is not going to be fully responsible for you anymore and you will have to make a decision one way or another. There are options available for you, and we have been through them many times. It's totally up to you, but I really think Mrs. Masen's offer it's the best in your case," Dr. Stanley said and it made me mad, because she was right, and I didn't like it.
This was the best option, but what if it didn't work? What if at the end Mrs. Masen got tired of me and kicked me out? What if her family didn't want me there? What if? God! I was so full of doubts and I was scared to no end, but at the end of the day there was only one way to know what would happen. I took a deep breath and looked at both of the women sitting in front of me.
"Okay," I said. "I think I'm willing….. to try…I….. I will accept your offer Mrs. Masen and…..and live with you and your family," I added looking between Mrs. Masen and Dr. Stanley, neither of them could hide their enthusiasm. They were looking at each other with smiles on their faces, even though Dr. Stanley really tried to hide it. She really thought this was for the best and I wanted to believe it really was.
A week later, I was in what had been my room for the last years of my life, packing what little I had in a duffel bag that Mrs. Cope, my foster mother, gave me. I was very grateful for the gift, I saw many girls leave this place with their belongings stuffed in grocery bags or old boxes. I was fortunate to have a place to go. Many didn't have the same luck. I thought of Lauren, she was a year older than me and she left with one big black garbage bag, but she was happy because she had a job as a stripper waiting for her. I shuddered at the thought of having to do that to be able to survive. A lot of girls that came out of places like this went into that line of work, it was an easy way to get money. I was again reassured I was a lucky one.
"Isabella," Mrs. Cope said, knocking on my door "Mrs. Masen it's here, are you ready?" she asked.
"Yes, I'll be there, thanks," I said before I heard her retreating steps through the hallway.
This was it, the moment of truth. I did a quick survey of the place to be certain I didn't forget anything, not that I had any important belongings at all, but I wouldn't like to forget any of the little things I had and burden Mrs. Masen even more making her buy me something just because I was careless enough to forget it.
After I was sure everything was in the bag I zipped it and picked it up from what had been my bed. I placed the bag on my right shoulder and walked to the door, before I was able to open the door and leave the room I looked back and took in the space for one last time.
The two twin size beds with blue sheets, neatly made. The old dark wooden table in the corner with two plastic chairs. The beige walls. A plain room all in all. I was really not going to miss this place, not at all, and with that thought I left that room for good.
"Isabella dear!" Mrs. Masen called as soon as she spotted me. She was talking to Mrs. Cope in the foyer and looked genuinely happy to see me. I smiled at her and mumbled a shy 'Hi'.
"Are you ready? It's that all?" she asked motioning to the duffel bag I had with me.
"Yes," I told her, tightening my hold in the bag. I was becoming more nervous by the second, and tried to calm myself by breathing deeply.
"Oh well, alright. I think it's time to go. Thanks for everything Mrs. Cope. I will keep in touch with Social Services and if there is something else that you need, please, don't hesitate to contact me," Mrs. Masen said with a smile.
"Of course Mrs. Masen," Mrs. Cope said, extending her hand to Mrs. Masen in a polite manner. She suddenly turned to me, extending her hand as well. "Good bye, Isabella and I really hope to see you again some day. Be good honey."
I shook her hand and nodded my understanding. Even though Mrs. Cope had always been a nice foster mother, we never were that close. She was busy keeping this house in order as well as the girls that came and went and didn't behave the way they should. Plus, I was not talkative at all, so we didn't share many conversations during my stay, but I was thankful towards her and made sure to let her know before I left.
"Thanks for everything Mrs. Cope," I said in almost a whisper.
"Not a problem Isabella, not at all," she said with a small smile on her lips and waving us good bye as we made our way out the door.
A minute later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of Mrs. Masen car. It was beautiful of course, and even though I didn't have a slightly idea of what type of car it was, I was sure it was expensive. The interior was completely black and the seats were made of leather. Mrs. Masen reached towards the music console and classical music started flowing trough the speakers. The volume was soft, but I could still make some instruments in there: a piano, a violin, a cello. I took a deep breath and tried to relax, but it was not working. I was a ball of nerves.
"Isabella?" Mrs. Masen called for my attention.
"Yes, Mrs. Masen?" I asked looking towards her as to not disrespect her.
"Call me Liz, dear, I've told you that Mrs. Masen makes me feel old, and now that we will be spending more time together, I really expect you to forget all the Mrs. thing," she said with a small chuckled.
Mrs. Masen was the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out. She was a little taller than me, probably in her mid 40's, her hair was blond and her eyes were blue. She was lean and always wore expensive looking clothing that look as if it was specially made for her, because they fit her like a glove. As a person, she was the kindest, most compassionate woman I had ever met.
"I'm sorry, I just feel I'm disrespecting you by calling you Liz," I said shyly. I had never called an adult by their first name before, at least not in a long time.
"Nonsense sweetie, call me Liz and that is that." She looked over at me and smiled.
"Okay, Liz". I hoped that saying it enough would make it feel less foreign and disrespectful.
"Well, now that we got that out of the way, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to take lunch with me? I mean I know we have talk and all, but I'm sure you have some questions and I think it would be good for us to have a chat before getting home. I know once we are there that it's going to be a little overwhelming and I just want to answer all the questions you may have, plus I'm kind of hungry," she said looking at me from the corner of her eye and smiling.
"Sure, Mrs. Ma….. Liz," I corrected myself.
We arrive to a cozy diner named 'The Red Umbrella' and we were quickly placed on a booth and were ask for our drink order. It was not the type of place I imagined Mrs. Ma…. Liz, I corrected myself, for lunch, she was way too sophisticated, but she just looked so comfortable and at ease that I didn't question her decision, not that I would anyways.
"My family and I love this place, we come here very often, so I hope you like it," she explained smiling at me.
I smiled back and took the menu cart, just to do something with my hands that were sweating greatly.
The waitress came and placed our drinks in front of us, a coffee for Mrs. Masen and a glass of water for me. She then asked for our food order, Mrs. Masen didn't even looked at the menu when she told the waitress what she wanted, proving that her earlier statement was true. I just didn't know what to pick, but the lady told me the specialty of the house were the hamburgers and French fries, so that's what I order. It had been a long time since I had a tasty hamburger and even though I was not that hungry, the nerves were killing me, I knew I needed to eat something before I collapsed. With all the stress this past week, I had barely eaten anything and I didn't want to get sick and be more of a burden to Mrs. Mas….. Ugh! Liz!
That was going to take a while to get use to.
"So, is there something you want to know dear? Any questions about my family?" Mrs. Masen asked, taking a sip of her coffee.
"I…" I had lots of question, but I really didn't want to pry and start an interrogation like I didn't trust her and her family. If they were just a little bit like her I was sure they were good people.
"Isabella, don't be nervous. You are part of our family now and if there is anything you want to know, I will be glad to tell you. I understand that you are a little overwhelmed. How about I just tell you the basics and if you have any questions let me know," she suggested as she smiled at me. I noticed the twinkle in her eyes, that always appeared when she talked about her family, shinned through.
"My husband is a lawyer, he has his own firm. His name is Edward and we have been married for almost 25 years. We have two sons, Emmett is the eldest he is 23 and is doing his Masters. He studied Law so he is following in his father's footsteps. You will really like him, he is really friendly….." I suddenly froze. I knew this; I knew she had two sons. That was the main reason that I didn't accept her offer in the beginning. It all came crashing to me. I was going to be living with 3 males. I was not going to be able to make it. My palms started sweating, worse that they were in the first place, and my breathing became shallow and hard. I was becoming a little light-headed.
"Isabella, look at me dear," Mrs. Masen said suddenly, reaching her hand and placing it on top of mine. I took a deep breath and slowly look at her.
"Don't worry dear, I knew better than to scare you like that, but you don't have to worry. They all know that you are shy towards men, and they will all keep to themselves without making you uncomfortable. I just wanted you to know that they are friendly and you don't have to be scare of them. If you ever feel the need to talk to them, you are free to do so, but if you don't want to do it, don't. It's up to you honey," she reassured me before smiling softly. I could see the twinkle in her eyes disappear and it was replaced with shame. She felt guilty for making me feel uncomfortable and she didn't have to. I needed to make it better.
"It's okay….. Mrs. Masen…. I was just a little taken aback….that's all," I said reassuring her.
She nodded her head and the waitress was back placing our food in front of us. I mumbled my 'thanks' and smiled at the good looking hamburger and fries trying to change the focus towards the food, but I could see Mrs. Masen still felt bad. I needed to do something and distract her, so I just took a deep breath and blurted the first question that came to mind.
"And your other son? What does he do?" I asked, and sure enough the twinkle was back.
She took a sip of her coffee, a bite of her food and smiled at me, ready to continue with her speech. "Well, my youngest son is 21, his name is Edward, as my husband, and he is the artist in the family. He plays piano and composes the most beautiful pieces I've ever heard I know it's my son and I have to say that," She chuckled "But he is amazing. So far it's just for school functions and such, but I'm sure he soon will be composing for orchestras. He is really talented." she said with a big sigh. I had the little suspicion that this Edward was her favorite son, and that made me smile. He was lucky to have a mother like her.
Then a thought occurred to me and without thinking I just blurted out the question.
"Why if Edward is the youngest he has you husband's name? Isn't it supposed to be the first son the one that gets named after the father?" I asked and suddenly felt bad for prying and asking her something that was none of my business, but she seemed happy that I was asking her something and start chuckling before answering.
"You see," she started taking a deep breath "My father's name was Emmett and he was a really imposing man, my husband was always secretly terrified of him. Being me my father's only daughter, I was his little princess and every man was just not good enough. So when I got pregnant with my first baby and knew that it was a boy, I told my husband that if we named him after my father, maybe he will actually like him," Mrs. Masen added with another chuckled "And it worked, my father took to my husband since then and they became closer than ever.
"But of course my husband wanted another baby and he made me promise that if it we had a boy again we will name him like him and I agreed. Soon after Emmett's first birthday we tried and we didn't had to wait long, almost a year later in came my Edward," she concluded.
I nodded my understanding while I bit a French fry.
"Many people think is a little odd that my two grown children are still living at home with us, well not Edward," she sighed and there was some emotion in her eyes that I couldn't completely identify.
Edward? That strange, why is not odd that he is living at home still, but it is with Emmett? But of course I didn't ask, it was not my place.
I just nodded my head; I didn't know what to say to that.
"Anyways, it's the way that it has work for us. My husband is away most of the time at meetings. He has clients in different cities so he has to travel back and forth and when he is home he is, most of the time, working long hours. He is rarely at the house, so my sons didn't want me to be all alone, so they are both at home, taking care of their old mom," she said smiling. "Well Emmett is rarely at home you never know where that kid is headed. He just comes and goes and sometimes days pass without me getting a hold of him," she told me, taking another bite of her food.
Well that was comforting. I know my thoughts were not nice, but I was glad I didn't have to put up with her husband and one of her sons being there all the time. I hope the other one, Edward, was outside most of the time, too.
Soon enough Mrs. Masen was paying the bill and we made our way back to her car.
The drive was mostly quiet as we drove farther away from Phoenix and towards the suburbs. I looked out the window and saw the scenery in front of me. Yellow, everything was yellow: the sand, the dry grass, the, all too familiar, sun. I had lived in Phoenix all my life, born and raised, if you could call that my upbringing. I've never been out of this city, not even as a little kid when my dad was still alive. I sighed, my dad. He was the only person that loved me. I shook my head and tried to shake away those thoughts. Going there was not good and it was going to bring unnecessary tears. I just took a deep breath and focused on the freeway and all the cars that speed towards their destination.
Everybody had a destination; everybody had a purpose in life or at least most of the people. So far I didn't have one and I didn't know if I ever would. I didn't have ambitions, nor expectations, but I knew it was time to change. I needed to take this opportunity Mrs. Masen was giving me and embrace it with all I had. I needed to start over, and maybe, just maybe this time it will be worth it.
If this life
It seems harder now
It ain't no never mind you got me by your side
And anytime you want
Yeah we can catch a train & find a better place
Cause we won't let nothing or no one keep getting us down
Maybe you & I could pack our bags & hit the sky…
(Fly Away – Aerosmith)
This first chapter is dedicated to Lynn... without her this wouldn't be here...thanks sweety...
AN.- I'm Back!
I want to thank dearly to my friend and beta Lynn, which pen name in this FanFic world is 'LittleMissInnocence', I met her reading her amazing story 'Just One Night' so go check it out! She was the one that push me to write this story and has help me every step of the way! Thanks Lynn, you are the best!
As you can see this is my new story 'The Beauty Of His Eyes' I hope you all like it. It's 'All Human' and for the most part 'Out of Character'.
Some points I would like to let you know:
1.- I have the story already outlined (for the most part) so please don't get mad if things don't go as fast, I like to build everything, but everything will come with time, so don't worry.
2.- I'm not expert in many of the topics that we touch in this story. Remember is a 'fictional story', I do however research, but I may be wrong, so I would truly apreciate your knowledge and coments.
3.- I don't mean any disrespect to anybody that may feel related to the characters in the story. Remember everyone is different as well as the situations so please take it as it is, a 'fictional story'.
4.- This story is rated M, but don't hold your breath right now, it will take time. The M raiting has to do too with some of the topics that are going to be in the story.
5.- As a reader I do apreciate some 'visuals' about what I'm reading, so I decided to open a 'photobucket' account where you will be able to see what I have in mind when I picture 'characters', 'places' and such. Link in my profile.
I think that's it...lol... hope you like it, and I'll post the next chapter ASAP.
Your reviews make me smile, so please do so if you please.
Have a wonderful day :D