T'Slash: I have tried to be sad and depressed all day but with all the wonderful reviews I keep receiving and painting the fence it was hard to feel sad until now. Yesterday, May 1st, is my cat Penny's birthday she would have been twelve today (yesterday but I started writing this that day and didn't finish), it's been five months since she died, December 2nd, and yes I know it is stupid to mourn for a cat this long but I cant help it. She was my best friend and my muse, most of these stories I have been writing started with her help.
So that's the story and I hope you don't mind me getting my thoughts and tears out here. Once again this goes against everything I believe in but oh well I couldn't help it. This could be seen as a prequel to Goodbye T'hy'la or stand alone doesn't matter. This story once again goes to a pretty picture that I have saved from somewhere but it is just awesome.
Disclaimer: If I owned Star Trek the body count would rise exponentially, just think about it.
James, T'hy'la what has happened to you? I thought, sitting still as the ship carried me closer and closer to the newest Enterprise's and my bondmates final resting place. Viridian III. A barren planet with no form of life on it, it was just a desert, full of pain and death.
Captain Picard of the Starship Enterprise was the one to contact me. To tell me that my Captain had reappeared in this world only to die once again. To be snatched from me once again. I had felt the bond open slightly after having been sealed for 78 years but at the time I had deemed it a figment of my imagination. James had been gone for so long now that I did not think he would ever return. To learn that he was alive all these years and I had given up on him. That I believe my T'hy'la, to be dead when he was trapped. That I did not try to save him, to find he was eating at my very soul.
I glanced out of the shuttle window, watching as the crew was worked at taking apart the Enterprise so as to leave no evidence of it being here. If the beings on the next planet over every developed intersteller travel.
"Ambassador Spock, we have landed," the pilot told me, smiling sympathetically at me. He knew I was here because Captain James Tiberius Kirk had died once again here. What he did not know what the universe didn't know was that we were bondmates, that he was my one and only mate. My ashalik.
I nodded to the pilot thanking him for his services before standing as the shuttle doors opened, letting me get the first real glimpse of the planet that James had died on for the first time. It was as barren as I had pictured it, not a place my James should have returned to. He should not have died here.
"Ambassador Spock," Captain Picard said, I recognized him from our first meeting. I glanced over at him, his uniform was covered in the dust from this planet, and his eyes were filled with sadness for the loss of a great hero. The greatest hero the federation had ever seen lost once again to the clutches of death. "It is a pleasure to see you again; I wish it was under different circumstances."
"Captain Picard," I greeted, nodding to him as I stepped onto the planet.
"I was told you wanted to see where Captain Kirk was buried while we wait for the retrieval party to arrive so we can take his…body back to Earth, for a proper burial," Captain Picard said, walking towards the hill I knew James was buried on. The bond between us, while broken had been pulling me towards that hill, knowing that my other half was up there, waiting for me.
"That is most agreeable," I stated, following after him, looking around at the planet at the last sights James had seen before he died. What had his last thought been? Did he think the rest of his crew was dead? Did he think I was dead? Did he welcome death because of that?
"Captain Kirk died saving the universe once again, Ambassador…he wanted to do something meaningful in his life. That is why he was able to escape the Nexus," Captain Picard said, leading me to the simple pile of rocks. Rocks that I knew covered James' body. Here was my T'hy'la's final resting place. Simple just as he would have wanted it. "I will leave you here, Ambassador. We will com you when we are ready."
"I thank thee," I responded, eyes never leaving the rocks. I heard Captain Picard descend back down the hill, leaving me alone with James.
"James," I whispered, kneeling next to James' grave giving no thought to my robes. An imaged flashed though my eye, James lay down at the bottom of this cliff in the cloths I last saw him in before he went to the launching of the Enteprise-B, the scaffolding on top of him, crushing him to death. "James, I always knew there would come a day when you had to fall. But I never dared imagine that I would not be there to catch you. I had promised that I would never leave you alone, as you had always said that you would die alone. I fear you were right, K'diwa."
I fell silent, letting the silence surround me. I was grateful for Captain Picard for telling the others not to bother me. I needed to be alone with James. I watched as the sun set over this planet of death. The sun set, bringing with it darkness, just as my own sun had set…no…not set but died, leaving me forever in the dark. How was I supposed to survive without James? My love, my sun? Without him I was lost.
"T'hy'la I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. All these year you have been alive and I never searched for you. I had believed you dead when Mr. Scott and Dr. McCoy thought you were still out there somewhere. It seems that they were right," I said, breaking the silence. I needed to tell him my thoughts, I was never able to hide them from him before and I would not start now. "You are my T'hy'la and no one will ever replace you."
I felt a gently warmth coming from the bond, soothing my worries, letting me know that James did not blame me for his death, that he loved me. That his last thoughts had been of me and how much he loved me. How was this possible though? The bond was broken, James was gone.
I don't believe in the no-win scenario, Spock. You should remember that, James voiced said, caressing my soul, easing all the wounds it had. I gently lay my hand on the grave, feeling the warmth rising from the rocks, a bright flash of light broke free from the rocks before the warmth vanished and the rocks collapsed into each other.
My eyes widened, a small smile spread across my face as I looked up into the stars, knowing that James was still out there, waiting for me. I pushed against the bond, sending all the warmth I could along its length before following the trail back down to the camp, the retrieval party was no longer needed, James T. Kirk was not on this planet anymore. I did not know where he was but I knew that I would find him, this time I would not give up. I will find you T'hy'la. I will not give up till you are back in my arms, I thought, sending all my love through the bond.
I'll be waiting for you, T'hy'la, James' voice echoed though the bond, laughing. I let another smile spread across my face at the sound of his voice feeling lighter then I had for years. My love was out there and I would find him, nothing could stop me. After all there was no such thing as a no-win scenario.
T'Slash: Well it wasn't supposed to end like that but my plot tribble demanded it should have some hope in it, so this is what you get. I am thinking of making a sequel to this but I'm not sure as of yet. I will just have to see if anything comes to me. as for the Vulcan words K'diwa means beloved, and ashalik means darling.
Well I hope you all enjoyed it, I will admit to crying when I wrote this. Please remember to review, they make me happy.