Ch3: Your Eyes are So Beautiful
I'm not afraid of girls.
I just hate them.
They're just so... giggly and annoying and always so silly and stupid. And they're like roaches: the more you try to distance yourself from them, somehow the more they keep swarming your way. Ugh. (I swear, how can people say I LOOK like one? I don't act the way they do. At all.)
This one, though - she's not a roach. More like a leech.
"I should have forseen this problem," groaned The Leech. "I knew this plan was too good to be true. But how the heck was I supposed to guess that this pretty boy is a total girl-wooing retard?"
I was about to get really pissed, but then it struck me: if I'm so stupid (and who was she calling a retard, she has freaking pink hair) then she's got to let me go. No point in having a slave who can't get the job done.
Seeing that she was still too busy moping with that magazine covering her face, I seized the opportunity to leave. (Her lair, thank God, was not some complicated maze or full of hidden zombies, but a pretty normal apartment. Minus the blood stains everywhere.)
THWACK. (So close! Just when I'm at the door.)
She yanked my earlobe and in that fake sweet voice (which by now I know it means she's really mad), said, "Where are you going, Sasuke-kun? Our love lessons haven't started yet."
Like I said, I really hate girls.
Especially vampire ones.
God, he was a wimp.
"God, you're a wimp," I said.
Trust me to be doing HIM a favor in the end. Seriously. I should get paid for this kind of stuff.
"Chin raised, shoulders back," I announced. He didn't move, so I had to mechanically move his shoulders back and raise his chin for him. "Smile." He didn't smile. "Ohmygosh. Do I have to do everything around here?"
"No one's asking you to do anything," he scowled, going straight into Whining Mode.
"That's cute. Keep that pout on."
I peeked from behind the telephone booth. "Ok, twelve o'clock, very pretty girl with dark straight hair. That's your target. Remember everything I've taught you: be casual, but make eye contact. Look sheepish - and blush, yeah, blushing's good. You have to start with, 'I know this is really out of the blue, but...' or else she'll think you're a stalker."
"Hitting on her in the first minute," snorted Sasuke. "Sure, she won't think I'm a stalker."
"It's not like I have all day to sit around while you build trust or whatever. I'm hungry because SOMEONE needs a tutorial on how to flirt, remember?" I stepped on his foot to make my point. "Oh, hurry and go before she's gone."
I grabbed him by his shirt collar as he tried to run away and shoved him towards his target.
You know what? I'm not doing this because she force-fed me stomach poison again and might possibly suck my blood dry if I say no.
I'm doing this to stay alive so that one day, when she's got her guard down, I'll kill her.
Yeah. I don't care if she's apparently immune to onions or garlic or sunlight or crosses.
I'll find her weakness. Then I'll have my revenge.
So yes. THAT is the reason why I obediently walked up to the girl the Leech was talking about and got ready to degrade myself.
"Hey, you," I said. The girl turned and I almost jumped back a foot. She's got freaking white eyes! Is she blind?
Wait, that's a good thing. If she's blind, she won't know what I look like or who I am.
"Yeah, so..." I sighed and recited the lines the Leech had made me memorize. "Your eyes are so beautiful I want to fall in. Them. Or something. I can't remember."
The girl blinked at me slowly - crap, maybe she isn't blind? "Um... excuse me?"
Forget it. If she's not blind she might recognize me, so I better make this fast. "Look, I'll just get to the point: do you want to get a bite to eat or whatever with me?"
"Ok then," I said. I shrugged at the Leech, who was still spying on us by the telephone booth. Hey, at least I tried. She can't blame me for that.
"S-sorry!" The girl squealed, blushing bright red. "I'm just kind of b-b-busy right now..."
"Yeah, that's ok - "
She grabbed my arm as I tried to leave. "I'm really sorry! I hope I didn't hurt your feelings... Don't worry, the right person for you will appear one day!" she added passionately, as if her point wasn't clear enough.
"I'm not worried, so can you just let me g - "
"YO SASU-TEME! WAS THAT JUST ME OR DID THIS GIRL TOTALLY DUMP YOU? HAAAAAAAHAW!"
Three things happened at once: Naruto collapsed onto the ground amidst his screams of laughter, the white-eyed girl yelped and ran away, and I wanted to kill myself.
"Hey, why'd she run like that?" Naruto asked, so surprised that he stopped laughing as he watched the girl sprint like there was no tomorrow. "Hmm, it's weird but, I think I saw her this morning when I was buying ramen... and yesterday when I was going to the pool... and the day before that when I was getting my mail... Oh well, whatever. By the way, why are you here, teme? I thought you hate McDonald's."
"Teme? Hello? ... Damn, why is everyone disappearing on me today!"
"Well, there you go," Sasuke said. "I just hit on Naruto's stalker."
I whacked him on the head.
"OW! What was that for?"
"Oh, ok, let me ask you something too! What was that 'Ok then' business?"
"What 'ok then' business?"
"Why the hell " - another whack - "did you give up just like that, as soon as she said no? Seriously, didn't I teach you to be more PERSISTENT? And how could you SCREW UP that opening line? Didn't I - "
"I get it! Just shut up, people are staring."
Great, I'd forgotten that we were walking down a big street. I ignored some old lady whispering, "Did that young girl have fangs or did I imagine it?" and yanked Sasuke by the arm as I glanced around for an alley to duck into. "When we get home, you're totally going to get it," I hissed.
"Why can't you accept the fact that maybe I'm not cut out for this? Maybe you need another slave," he said hopefully.
"Or maybe, you can go and find me another slave while I - "
"Sasuke? Is that you?"
I frowned in confusion when I saw Sasuke's expression change to one of pure resentment and hatred. Especially since that expression was not directed at me.
"I thought that was you... wow, long time no see. Is that your girlfriend?" A male voice was saying with the hint of a smile.
That does it. I just had the worst day and this smooth-talking douchebag comes up and interrupts me in the middle of my ranting. "For your information," I said angrily, whirling around, "I am NOT this idiot's girlfr - "
Because standing before me was a person, who - I knew at first glance...
... was my soul mate.
I just knew.
"Itachi," glowered Sasuke. "What are you doing here?"