This one's based on real life (except the ninja stuff). I dedicate this to Christine, the younger sister of someone special to me. I never met her, but I sure wish I did. Tin, I hope my words reach you up there in heaven.
So, I got most of the names from Naruto. Like Mikoto, who is really Sasuke's mom. While Nanami is from We Were There (I just like her name). Here it is... Hope you like it.^^
Here I am, listening to an angel's voice whisper her name in my head. And it's breaking my heart in a very unfamiliar way.
"Nanami…Nanami…" This name has been stuck in my head for days, and it seems like I can't get rid of it.
I, Sakura, am bothered by a living dead girl. Not that she's haunting me, but it is as if she's a part of me that I didn't even know it was there. Apparently, she's the younger (and one and only) sister of the boy I love. And I just can't see why I'm affected this much.
It all started on the night of May 23, 2010.
I called Sasuke exactly when I got home. Aunt Karin answered the phone and said he wasn't home. So, we ended up talking about Sasuke, his friends… and Nanami.
"…she was just like you." says Aunt Karin.
It came like a kunai as it hit me. It hit me right on my face, down to the marrows of my bones. All I could say was,
"Really?" and ended the conversation with a forced out good night.
Since then, a young girl's face kept on showing up in my dreams. But by the time I wake up, I forget what she looks like. I have also learned how hard it was for Sasuke's mom, Aunt Mikoto, and how she got stronger by learning to live by faith. Though I'm still trying to figure out what Sasuke is going through. I can't help it… I'm sinking deeper and deeper into his life.
He called me.
Apparently, he has been sleeping from 2pm to 8pm because he didn't get any sleep at their mission yesterday. He actually sounded wasted (and hot) despite his long slumber.
Believe me I never get tired of listening to Sasuke. Well it does take quite a lot of patience talking to him when his undeniable power overcomes himself- which took quite some time for me to understand- but the rest is okay. I think I could even stay awake all night listening to him recall every jutsu that ever existed.
While he was talking to me so freely, I was doing my best to keep my mouth from spilling the beans; the beans that kept me awake at night. I didn't want to hurt him, you know. But a speck of guilt was bothering me, and I knew I had to tell him soon.
Days went by and I still haven't found out about how Nanami passed away. I just had to let it go for awhile.
Did you ever get that feeling of curiosity?
You know, it's when you start wondering if he really feels the same about you. Have you ever felt that way? Well, I did.
I love Sasuke so much. I love his smile. I love his hair. I love how he smells- both fresh and sweaty. I love the way he's so gentle to me. I love his laugh. I love the way I get lost in his eyes. I even love his badass-ness. EVERYTHING. We trust each other and all, but sometimes the distance between the two of us make things harder than we thought it would be.
That time, I wanted to tell him how much I love him. And just let it all out.
And he called.
We went on and on about how his day went and how my training that night was. After that, we continued to our usual inside jokes sessions. He even put their phone on loudspeaker so that his mom can join us. Then we ended up being all mushy-gushy.
"I love you." says Sasuke.
Curse those butterflies. "I love you too." I replied.
"I love you more than you do." He said, with no hesitation.
"Are you sure?" No! I wasn't supposed to say that. "Sorry I asked. Forget that I said that." Kill me. Kill me now.
"I'm sure." He answered. "Believe me, I regret those times I hurt you. I didn't want them to happen at all." I was speechless. Yes he did hurt me once before, but I shouldn't have doubted him. "Well…" he said with a softer voice, "I can't read your mind and all, so I'm actually hoping that you still feel the same way about me too. I really love you, Sakura."
"I love you, Sasuke. I really, really do! I'm sorry I have doubted you. I guess I just have to trust you more than I did before." I said, "From now on, no more secrets from each other."
"Promise. No more secrets." He agreed.
Good nights. Sweet dreams… and a precious little girl. One little thing I had to let out.
She died at second grade.
I learned about it on the first week of June. Aunt Karin told me that Dengue fever took the angel's life away. It was so hard for them that time. Why does it have to be this way? The pure-hearted ones are always taken away from us. And Nanami would have been in first year high school by now.
I felt deep sympathy for her family; especially for her brother who envied her a lot. It must have been hard for him- keeping his tears from shedding, secretly mourning for his sister.
That's when I realized that I had to tell him about what I know. I had to spill the beans. He needs me… Just as I need him.
"I know about Nanami."
I called and told Sasuke about my knowledge of these things he had kept from me. These are the things might have been the reason of his suspicious act of apathy, his indifference and how he hot-headed he becomes when things don't turn out as he expected.
"Oh…" he said in a voice that was almost impossible to hear.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this before. I just didn't want you to get hurt, that's all. But then I thought 'Hey, I should tell him right now.'" I confessed, "There are so many things I still don't know- so many questions waiting to be answered. But as I learn more about the past, it breaks a part of my heart in a very peculiar way. And yet, it makes me want to be with you even more "
"She was their favorite. Well, that's how I looked at it when I was younger." His voice was shaking, but I'm sure he wasn't crying. "It's hard…"
"I didn't cry when Grandpa died, too. Just not in front of my family, that is. I couldn't. I still can't accept that he's gone now. I know my grandfather and your sister are two different people but, was it like that for you too?"
"Yes…" he admitted after a few seconds. "I miss Nana-chan. I miss her, Sakura. I really miss her."
And there was dead silence. I tried to bring life back to the conversation.
"I know- "
"But she's gone now. Now all I have are my family, some friends… and you."
"I won't leave you, Sasuke. I'll always be here. I'm here for you; through the best times and the worst."
"And I'm going to be a better person than I was before. I'm going to do it for my sister. I'm going to do it for the ones I love. I'm going to do it for you."
- End -
Here's the thing.
So I fell in love with some guy I met in camp. I learned about his past, and am learning to love him from the present until the future. That's how it goes for me. It is to love someone, his family... and even the ones who are up there in heaven.
And our story goes on.
Thanks Iommi for telling me to use my Facebook status as an inspiration for a FanFic!
This was my FB status:
"There are so many things I still don't know- so many questions waiting to be answered. But as I learn more about the past, it breaks a part of my heart in a very peculiar way. And yet, it makes me want to be with you even more."
Guys, please wait for Part Two of this FanFic! This time, it's Sasuke's side of the story.
Review this, onegai. Arigato! ^^