The heat has worn off. Breaths were once again normally steady. The hand that has been attempting an act of forced caress upon a delicate but burning face, now lingered motionless somewhere between the boy's arm and his chest. It finally became clear to both of them how awkward their situation was. Not that long ago the possibility of those events coming true was comparable the one of an enormous dinosaur colliding with the Earth and making it fall out of the solar system. It's not something anyone might think of. Just as neither of the two ever entertained the thought of what does one actually say after either being unwillingly fucked raw, having the additional knowledge that it will happen again, or what should be said after fucking someone raw against his will, while trying to be friendly. There is no amount of curses and swearing or reassuring and convincing words that could possibly bury the crater after the impact. No words that could reconnect a malfunctioning body with a dislocated soul even existed.
Being wise enough to understand at least that, the anti fairy stared at the boy's face with undisturbed silence, while the child had no will for their gazes to meet. To avoid those curious and obdurate eyes, the boy kept looking at the blue, somewhat wrinkled palm that rested on him and he almost was interested in how different his own body – young and fragile, and his occupant's – harsh and seasoned – were. They did not match. Not in a million years. It was more than obvious that it was not normally possible to feel any physical good from their intercourses. It was disturbing to register that whether it could or could not be – it did feel good physically, even good enough to provide a temporary psychical distraction. Overall, this was indescribably repulsing, more than his heart or his skin could ever confess.
He was still lying naked and it was beginning to feel cold – in a bed or not – he was still in an open space, after all. But it was not the true problem. Having enough of the contact was his real issue. Timmy began to shift uneasily in an attempt to get up – it was slower, clumsier and took longer than it normally should. He glanced back at the man after all just before he was about to take the first step.
Anti Cosmo smiled widely in reply. Having the boy ask for his permission, even if it was not verbalized, was so perfectly pleasant it brought him a physical satisfaction. He watched as the child took several steps deeper into the high grass, with his face turned at the dark sky and the distant line of horizon. The horizon seemed to stare back, loathing. The man stood up as well and stepped closer to the child, he had no actual idea why he did that exactly. Perhaps he wanted to see him better. In an attempt to clear his mind from unsetting thoughts he examined Timmy's fair skin with his eyes. He noted the goose bumps, hair waving delicately on the mild wind, a slight curvature of the child's spine, and of course, he could not miss the fresh scars after the stitches and the pink, probably still hot marks that were left when his grasp was too fierce and he had lost the feeling of his actual strength. So badly he did not want to let go, didn't want his boy to slip away, even though he had him literally impaled on himself. That was much more than a quarter ago. Those marks would soon be bruises. Obviously, little Turner must have been aware of this as well. He surely was in pain. But his hands were hung loosely, numbly and his mouth was mute, as if he disconnected himself from his body and from his pain, guilt and experience. How foolish of him to think he would run away. How inadequate. Anti Cosmo smiled bitterly at the back of his absentminded boy. He leaned closer and put his palm on Timmy's shoulder and without a second thought started to pet his neck with a thumb. He thought it would be a somewhat loving thing to do, but he did know damn right that that was still more of an act of reminding and putting back into one's place. One stroke said I need you but the next ones added and I will have you again and again and again. He sealed his message with a kiss on the soft space behind the boy's ear and whispered into it 'Hush now'.
Apparently, hushing now or anytime soon was the last thing Turner intended to do. He began to shake, formed his palms into raging fist and without turning back, hissed ferociously at him:
'Stop it. Right now, stop. And never try again.'
Now that was intriguing. Actually, it has been far from expected, when it came to possible reactions. The man's hand retreated as he wrinkled his brows in disbelief.
'Stop what exactly, dear?'
'Exactly this!' the boy exclaimed, his voice trapped somewhere between groaning and screaming. 'Playing the parental figure! It won't work, won't help' he sighed and broke into tears.
In an instinct guided reply, the man embraced him from behind. He knew it was a bad idea, but he didn't have a better one. In fact, he had no idea at all. The boy's body stiffened as if he was entwined in barbwire and a slightest move would make him suffer. In an act of undeserved mercy Timmy decided to elaborate on his thoughts although he was convinced it would not change anything.
In between heavy sobs, he managed to speak. 'If you only understood how insane it feels. You hold me in your arms, thinking you bless me with your fucking care and attention and you forget that at the same damn time we are both naked and I do feel your…thing touching my back. In a second you can change your sick mind and use me again, where will your love and care be then?'
Anti Cosmo could not deny. It was a good point.
'Why can't you believe me lad, when I tell you I can merge those?' He asked, convinced that he would do so. Was not that what people do? ' According to the popular belief, these do not exclude themselves. It is worth giving a try' he reasoned.
'Last time I believed you I ended up pressed down by your weight and your mad panting, while we had it clear we wouldn't have stuff this way' the boy stated flatly. 'But it's not my point, you know' he went on, with his voice oddly and alarmingly void of any emotion whatsoever 'care is what I have my family for. There already is one fairy godfather that does his job just fine. And he does it without any fucking.' Finally he began to fidget as a sign that he needed to be let loose right now. Anti Cosmo didn't fight that wish and let him go.
Timmy faced him at last and as he did so, he subconsciously scanned the man's figure as he spoke. 'You on the other hand' he said straight into Anti Cosmo's slightly parted lips 'wouldn't give it a second thought' he told the somewhat still slim, but layered with a noticeable and notable amount of both fat and trained muscle chest 'to take me again right now' he spoke to the hairy, iron thighs ' if I gave you a sign that I want it' he stated firmly and angrily, biting his lip, with his eyes fixed on the lower abdomen and the crotch, even though he could swear he was convinced that he looked the man bravely into the eye all along.
Anti Cosmo's gaze in exchange was very cautious and deliberately registering every involuntary thing that his little boy did. He wanted to laugh, but the forced seriousness of the conversation allowed him only to smile subtly in a malicious manner.
'I will never fail to fulfill such an urgent and compelling wish of yours' he replied.
'I was sarcastic enough, you don't have to play along.' Timmy snapped.
'I wasn't.' Anti Cosmo answered sharply. 'Because you weren't being sarcastic. You were being a hypocrite.'
'Wait, you still are ' the man noticed, smiling a bit wider. ' Or are you still fighting?'
'Fighting what?' The boy snarled viciously.
'This is getting pathetic, you know.' Anti Cosmo sighed with disappointment.
'And you already are.'
This was the point where the man could not contain his reactions anymore and began to laugh. Not because what the child said was amusing – it was not. Because it was stubborn and stupid. Too stupid to bear with.
'Yet you outrange me with the level of how pitiful you are. You bark at me like there is no tomorrow but if I touched you right now you would only want more and take more. And you won't have to ask me twice to prove it to you, so as long as you wish to keep the façade of the holy virgin, be careful about what you dare me with.'
'There is no tomorrow.'
'Say something this stupid once more and there won't be.'
'You made me become this. What you're trying to force me to believe is still not true.' Timmy ignored the threat. Now Anti Cosmo was a hypocrite. Actually, according to the boy, he was the only one around. 'What it does' the boy said, pointing at his body 'is not what I do'.
'It's funny how I don't hear you whining or asking me to stop when your body' he said that mockingly, his fingers making inverted commas 'and I are at it. What you believe is not what you do.' The man smirked triumphantly.
Turner on the other side, considered this conversation acquire the state of more of a nonsense and semantic distortion than it ever should be allowed to, so feeling helpless, yet still correct, he decided to discontinue this preposterous small talk. The small talk that got too big.
'No reply to that?' Anti Cosmo mused.
'I'm going to get dressed' the boy tried to cut it.
'No reply to that' he stated as if it was a seal to a political agreement of some sort.
It was literally itching the poor boy to actually serve a sufficient reply to that, but he was afraid it would cause him even more trouble. So having his mouth shut, he proceeded to put his nightclothes back on his hideous, filthy traitor of a body. He knew better and he didn't have to prove anything to that man. In fact, if there was anything to prove anywhere it was his body that needed a sign of innocence and a lesson about where it's place was.
Anti Cosmo frankly speaking did not need or even want a reply to that being said. The ear ripping silence was the best one there could be made. The moral fall of the sacred child chimed in his mind like heavenly music.
They both were partially right.
Being partially right, though, is what makes people wrong.
The man was tired, yet content with this night's events. He teleported the sour-faced boy of his back to his silly little home in which – as the child got proven somewhat wrong – he still could not feel as in a fortress.
Timmy Turner cursed at his house angrily as he found himself right behind it's door with only half-lights around to show him his way and an irritating mongrel in a monocle at his side to make sure he would safely in his bedroom. Or at least so the boy was told.
"Safety" he snorted in his mind, chewing and tasting the meaning of the word once it got stuck in his mind, confronted with the given circumstances. It was bitter if he was to describe it, and cheap if he was to price it. It was a blatant lie. A cardboard box gave a greater illusion of safety than this.
As he reached the area of his room he shut himself in the bathroom and once more performed the ritual of pointless detoxicating himself with fleshburning hot water. He found the pain too much to take, o he cut the water off to at least put some soap onto himself. The body was aching and almost crying, too tired to defend itself against it's cruel master, who paid no attention to it's woes and scrubbed it harder and harder. It was a miracle it survived the final portion of the damn boiling liquid. Yet it still was far from clean, Timmy knew. He also knew it would never be. He didn't know how to punish it more. He didn't as well know he would not be in his room alone when he got there. He expected the anti-fairy to leave him be. He demanded it.
What Anti Cosmo demanded, on the other hand, was an answer. Actually, an explanation. And it better was a good one.
'What have you done to yourself' he spat, when he saw the child back in the bedroom, standing weak, exhausted, burnt red, and apparently mindless as well.
Turner didn't care to answer. The question didn't sound like one, anyway. 'Get off my sheets. I wanna go to bed' he simply informed. In a blink, he didn't even see it when or how, he was in his bed, but far from the way how he wanted it. With the greeneyed man pinning him down so rough he could see white traces on his skin, he could only stare back at him. He looked infuriated. His eyes were now just tiny slits, and his lips were thin as a simple line. That face served a portion of contempt, one the boy found hard to swallow and even harder to understand. So in exchange, his delicate, swollen face presented bewilderment only. Noticing this, the man was kind enough to explain.
'My boy, the only thing of value of mine. I have already told you repeatedly not to fight. You are a lost cause. You will not be pure. Burning yourself with water is nothing but a farce. It's not sacred fire. You have a price and I will not stand watching you depreciate yourself like this. It's a waste of time, trying to fool yourself like this.' Having this said, his tone something between concern and a preaching, he took out his wand and healed the boy. With the same wand, he then removed both the boy's and his own undergarments.
Timmy sighed heavily as he watched the man relocate himself between his thighs once more. Basically, it was all he had the power to do physically. He found speaking pointless. It's impossible to sound and be taken seriously if speaking with your legs spread and leaned against somebody's shoulders. Besides, he was a hundred percent sure, the bastard wasn't done talking yet. And he was right.
'So thoughtless of you, lad' the man laughed. 'How would you ever possibly keep up with me with that showers of yours. I could take you while you were still in the cabin. I'll fix that now. And I'll ensure you will stay dirty with this sin for as long as I please.'
The boy had a sudden idea, which came up right before the sharp tooth mouth was about to destroy his own with filthy kisses.
'You can't do this here, my parents and godparents will find out and you'll be screwed' he said and it sounded like hope mixed with triumph.
'Yes, I can and I will' and it sounded like not giving a fuck. 'I'm short of time, I have chores to take care of, so excuse me if I won't please you fully this time or explain why am I allowed to do as I wish.'
Timmy wished for his magical fish not being able to hear him moan. Timmy wished those moans weren't involuntarily coming out of his mouth or inside Anti Cosmo's when he was claiming the rights to him and making him eerily shiver in ways that were new and forbidden.
Right in the middle, the man stopped his actions and sneered at the surprised child.
'Excuse me, for I have other dead people to attend ' he said, as he casually got himself out and got dressed.
Timmy's body was still needy and not satisfied. It was raging. It was jealous.
Timmy's mind was relieved and tired. The only thing he wanted was to get some peace and a way to prolong it.
'Who?' the question echoed around the room, but the boy did not really know which part of him actually asked it.
'My wife and my son. Because I've apparently forgotten. Good night.' Anti Cosmo left, poofing himself out of the room, giving no space for any further questions to be given.
Inside Timmy there were two stings once those last words were given.
One to his soul: how could forget about his family, especially in these circumstances, it was unthinkable and he felt sorry for the unfortunate spouse and offspring who died.
And one to his body: how could there be thought about anybody else in a time like that, when the time was his and his only. It felt angry and disappointed.
Timmy didn't move for the rest of the night.
It was a fall. A very hard one.
One that breaks bones, minds, walls and hearts.
And blows the illusions away.