AN: Hey! This is my first fanfic! I love the hunger games so I made a fanfic for it!
Disclaimer: Sadly... no I do not own the Hunger Games ,Justin Bieber, Sharpies or anything else except the (non existent) plot and dialogue... BUT, I do own a cookie( laughs evilly)
EDIT: Hey guys. I decided to edit this a little better and rewrite some things. Not that different, just a little bit more polished
Narrator: Come along now little ones follow me,
Yes ,indeed, we have a sight to see,
young Peeta Mellark in victors village,
searching for old hunger games footage!
"Ugh, stupid Haymitch," Peeta mutters "Making me do research when the Hunger Games are over and the Capitol is over run. I mean seriously? Jeez, cut a man some slack.
Then in runs Katniss, all covered in grass,
Peeta thinks about how he wants to tap that-
"Peeta! Finish that thought and I swear!"
"Woah! How'd you know what I was thinking?" Peeta flushes bright red.
"I-I don't know. There's this voice in my head and-"
"You hear the voices, too?" Haymitch pops his head in through Peeta's front door "I knew I wasn't crazy!"
And while Katniss debates if Haymitch is crazy,
Peeta starts to feel a bit lazy,
Haymitch pops open 2 more beers,
And talks about the voices he hears.
"Why are we rhyming!" Katniss suddenly exclaimed "I mean there's this crazy voice in my head and it's rhyming, but it's making all of you rhyme, too! So, why are we rhyming?"
"Because I want you to."
"Whoa! What the mockingjay was that?" Peeta asks.
"Hello, I'm the Author," a red headed girl in an Asking Alexandria shirt materializes on Peeta's couch. "Nice couch," She comments "From Ikea?"
"What the mocking-"
"And seriously, Peeta? What the mockingjay?" Katniss shakes her head in disapproval.
"Don't look at me! She wrote it!"
Haymitch is still standing in Peeta's threshold, the two bottles of beer now empty. He looks at the Author, confusion clouding his eyes. "Am I really that drunk?"
Peeta opens his mouth to throw an insult at Haymitch when he is interrupted.
"JUSTIN BEIBER?" Katniss screams "AHHHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? LEAVE!"
Justin gets down on one knee.
"And girl you're my one love,
my one heart My one life for sure Let me tell you one time
(Girl, I love, girl I love you)
I'ma tell you one time
(Girl, I love, girl I love you)
And I'ma be your one guy You'll be my #1 girl-"
"Whoa, whoa ,whoa!" Peeta says moving in between Justin and Katniss. "Hold up. Are you talking to my wife like that?"
"Yeah, I am! You gonna do something about it, bread boy?"
"Oh now it's on."
"Ladies, ladies! Stop you'll bruise Katniss and she needs that face for the cameras," Haymitch interrupts.
"But it was getting good!" Madge said.
"PEETA? HAYMITCH? KATNISS? JUSTIN? AUTHOR? See how annoying that is?"
"Yeah, okay," Peeta says
"What are you doing here?" Katniss says.
" I love a good cat fight."
"I am not a girl!" Justin and Peeta say.
"Oh come on! Peeta bakes bread, Justin sings like a girl. Your arguments are invalid."
"Well I'm bored why don't you go to sleep," the Author sighs.
The Author snaps her fingers. "SLEEP!" She yells. She watches in amusement as Peeta and Justin curl up to Katniss. She grins evilly. Oh, this should be fun.
Haymitch wakes up looking around,
Justin is there looking like a clown,
Katniss is there her face in a frown,
Peeta is there muttering "town",
Madge is there not making a sound,
But where is the author? Where could she be?
She is behind a computer plotting an evil scheme,
Haymitch sits there, taking in the scene,
Then gets up to grab a pen and starts doing something mean,
Justin has a mustache drawn in pen,
Peeta's forehead says I love men,
Katniss' cheek says I love you,
Madge's chin says Effie! Love the new 'do,
Suddenly, Peeta awakes!
"Hey author! Why are you making us rhyme?" Peeta says.
"Sorry," The Author says "I thought it added humor."
"Where are you?"
"Oh. Hey, Haymitch! I just realized how funny that sounds. Let's wake up Katniss,buy sharpies, and go to Finnick's house."
"I wanna come," whines the Author.
"Fine," they huff.
"Wait!" Peeta says walking over to Katniss "Payback time."
Peeta and Haymitch put there faces right up to Katniss's, much like Finnick and her had in the Seventy-fifth Hunger Games. Ew, Haymitch thought, You can see her girl stache from this close.
"Katniss, Katniss wake up," they say.
Katniss's eyes fly open.
"Oh hi Peeta, Haymitch," she says not very surprised. Ew, She thought, You can see up Haymitch's nose from down here.
"What the mockingjay? It didn't work? Why not!" Peeta exclaims
" Finnick and I made a pack to never let you get us back for that and trained to not be surprised. Plus I woke up while you were discussing buying some sharpies and going to Finnick's house."
"You made a pack with Finnick? What the mocking-"
"Yes, yes, yes, I made a pack with Finnick and WHY IS JUSTIN BEIEBER CUDDLING UP TO ME?"
"I'mma tell you one time..." Justin mumbles in his sleep.
"So let's go to Finnick's house!" an irritated Haymitch says "Time's a wasting and the alcohol is starting to wear off."
"You drank two bottles of beer in under five minutes," the Author says.
"Whatever, let's just go!"
"Ok," says Peeta.
"got the sharpies?"
Haymitch ducks Peeta's punch while cracking up.
"WE'RE ALREADY ENGAGED!"
"That was the capitols idea- OOF!" Haymitch huffs after not ducking in time.
"Haymitch, shut up. Peeta, stop irritating me and get Justin to wake up so you can punch him!" Katniss yells.
"HEY, JUSTIN! WAKE ,THE MOCKINGJAY, UP!"
"Peeta? When will you stop saying that?"
"When it goes out of style."
"Too late." Haymitch mutters.
Katniss turns to Haymitch and slaps him flat across the face.
"Oh, Haymitch," the Author chuckles "You and I both know that being a smart ass comes at a price."
"Don't talk to my fiancée like that!"Katniss says raising her hand at Haymitch again.
"So, you admit that your going to marry me?" Peeta says hopefully.
"Ouch, that hurt Katniss,"Gale says.
"WHOA! Where did you come from?" Peeta yells.
"It's not fair that you get her! I've known her longer!"
"Yeah? Well, I loved her longer!"
"I deserve her because I'm a famous singer!" says Justin, who just woke up.
"And que the epic fight scene!" the Author yells.
*Gale punches Peeta*
*Peeta kicks Gale*
*Justin slaps them both*
*Katniss steps in front of Peeta and gets a slap from Gale*
"Oops!" Gale yells
"Yes, because 'oops' will save your sorry face after I'm done!" Peeta yells
"And on the cheek she got whipped!" Haymitch exclaims.
"Justin needs to go bye bye now," says the Author.
"Well that's better," Katniss sighs.
"And your gonna need this," says the Author
"Oh, look Katniss has a bow and arrow in her hand. Whatever shall she do with them?" Peeta says sarcastically
"Katniss, why are you smiling like a maniac? Katniss? Put the weapon down Katniss. Katniss?" Gale makes a whimpering sound.
"Katniss isn't here anymore. This is Katniss who killed Marvel because he killed Rue," Peeta says sounding scared.
"Um! Ahem, Finnick's house? Hello?" An irritated Haymitch says.
"Right! To Finnick's house!" Katniss yells.
They all frolic and skip to the front door.
"Wait! Our faces!" Katniss reminds them. They all turn to Haymitch.
"What?" he says.
After washing up with the limited edition sponge bob soap that Peeta got, our heros (if you can call them that) finally embark on their mission to graffiti Finnick's face with Sharpie!
Little do they know, Madge wakes up hours later, they had left her behind!
"They left me!" she exclaims "Wait a left me Peeta's house. Alone. With a pack of sharpies. Hmmm "
A/N: thanks for reading! you know i just met you but i think we'll be good friends. please reveiw and give me ideas please! and flamers are welcomed! don't go easy on me! the next chapter will be funnier i promise! if you think the chapters are too long just tell me! kaythxbia!