A secret to hide!
Summary: J/C – Not Captain like, but after Neelix' party, it gets out of hand in Janeway's quarters…
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but I can play with them, right…
"Want some coffee?"
"Thanks." he answered.
"Cream and sugar, huh?" she smiled as she stood up and walked around the desk.
"Owh, TWO sugars?" she frowned.
He smiled in return at her underlying comment.
"You know, you drink too much of that stuff."
"Really…" As if she didn't know.
"If I'm not mistaking, that's your third cup this morning."
"Fourth, and on a day like today it won't be my last." she stated as she poured him a cup.
He shook his head and smiled a half crooked smile.
"Coffee… the finest organic suspension ever devised! It's got me through the worst of the last three years." she added the cream and yes, two sugars, and offered him the cup.
"I beat the Borg with it!" They both laughed at that, breaking a bit of the tension.
"Oh, I'm sure Voyager will be fine!" she casually stretched her feet onto the table and relaxed. Chakotay sat down beside her.
"But I'm worried that the crew might be a different story." she said with a slight concern. He felt the ever present sadness for the wellbeing of her crew. That's all she was ever worried about after an ordeal like the one that day. All she wanted was for them to get home or at least have contact with home.
"I think they were hoping mail call would become a regular part of their day."
Trying to make her feel a little better, he carefully changed the subject.
"Neelix is putting together an impromptu party? He thought it might cheer them up." He sipped his coffee.
"Good idea! When will it be?" she smiled.
"As soon as he can get people together!" Her smile widened and she shook her head, knowing Neelix would have it going in no time.
"Leave it to Neelix to come up with the right idea at the right time!"
His smile changed in a concerned look, knowing that she had too received a letter from home, and after she had read it in private, her mood had changed the past day. He knew something was bothering her. He felt it.
"How are you doing?"
"Me… I'm fine!" He knew her too well, she thought, as he laughed quietly at her response. She knew she couldn't convince him with that answer.
"You'd say that if you just had your legs torn off by a Trachon beast." He was right.
"Look at what you've been through the last few days. We finally make a connection with home and then it's ripped away from us."
The truth in his words made her hurt inside, realizing how close they had indeed been those few days. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back on the couch.
"We manage to make another enemy, who's gonna try and hunt us down and destroy us. AND, on top of that…" he paused.
"It's alright, you can say it." she said in a low and sad voice.
"On top of all that, I got a 'Dear John' letter." It made her feel vulnerable to even admit that it bothered her so much. He looked at her in compassion, making it even worse. She looked down to try and get her composure back.
"Wasn't really a surprise…I guess I didn't really expect him to wait for me, considering the circumstances." she sighed heavily, saying this for the first time out loud. She might have not expected him to, but she sure wished it was the case.
"It made me realize that I was just using him as a safety net, you know." she admitted.
"As a way to avoid becoming involved with someone else."
"You don't have that safety net anymore." He replied, hoping she meant what he thought she meant.
"That's right…" And he WAS right.
"Then again, my life is far from uneventful here in the Delta Quadrant." They smiled at the truth that had just been said.
"It's not that I would have had a chance to pursue a relationship, even if I had realized I was alone." There she was wrong.
"You're hardly alone! And to my way of thinking…"he paused, "there's still plenty of time."
"Plenty of time…"she agreed. 70 and odd years to be exact.
The computer chirped: "Neelix to the Ready Room. The party is about to begin and there are only two people missing."
"We're on our way!" she stated, putting up her finger. A little smile reappeared on her lips.
Chakotay stood up and walked around the table to offer her his arm. She accepted with pleasure as she laughed out loud, placing her hand in the crook of his elbow. The sound was music to his ears. They both smiled brightly and walked out of the Ready Room.
"Ah, Captain, Commander, glad you could join us. There's food and drinks, music,… Enjoy yourselves! You've earned it." Neelix greeted them as they entered the Mess Hall.
"We've ALL earned it!" she winked. "What about some champagne?"
"Wonderful idea! I'll get right on it!" he smiled and turned to get it.
Kathryn looked around the room to see everyone enjoying themselves, despite what happened. She wished she could enjoy it as much, but it was still hard for her to let go of the fact they had lost another chance. Was it the third now? The fourth, she couldn't remember. It had hurt every time, but this time they had contact with their family instead of Starfleet. That was more close and personal. Harder to let go.
Chakotay placed a hand on the small of her back, wondering why she had suddenly become quiet again. She looked up at him and smiled reassuringly, hoping he would leave it at that.
Harry noticed them and walked over, the biggest smile on his face.
"I take it you got some good news from your parents?" Chakotay asked.
"Yes, I did. Mom and Dad were over the moon to hear from me. They never gave up on me! They can't wait for me to come home and hold me in their arms. They'll probably hug me to death." He rolled his eyes and smiled.
"I'm sure they will do just that." Kathryn answered as she put her hands on his upper arms. She couldn't help but smile at her young ensign, who still was like a little boy when he talked about his parents. Although he had grown so much in these three years, he would still be her protégé.
Neelix walked past them and offered them a glass of champagne. They each took one and Kathryn stepped forward to say a little word to her crew.
"This day hasn't ended the way we wanted it to. I'm sure my hopes of constantly receiving messages from home were the same as yours. But as we all know, nothing hardly ever is that simple here in the Delta Quadrant." A light laughter filled the room, but it didn't last long.
"I know I've said this before, but I will say it again. Although it won't be easy, we WILL find another way! We WILL find our way home!" She raised her glass.
"Hear hear!" They all said in unison and took a sip of their glass. Small groups formed as they began their conversations again. Kathryn walked to a nearby empty table and took a seat. Chakotay sat down next to her and they both watched their crew in silence for a minute.
In no time her glass was empty and he stood up to get another one. Instead of bringing just one glass, he put down a cooler on the table with a bottle just for them. He refilled their glasses and offered one to Kathryn.
"Kathryn…"he paused, making her look at him in question. She waited for him to continue, but he didn't.
"Mhm, what is it?" she asked.
"It's nothing." He shook his head and looked away.
"You sure? You can tell me anything." He got her curious.
He couldn't decide if he should tell her he was glad she lost her 'safety net'. She had been really upset about this news, although she said she had expected it somehow. Maybe she would think this was what he was waiting for all along. That she would forget about Mark and just move on, now that they knew they weren't going to get home for a long time. That he wanted her to be untrue to him, just because he wanted her for himself.
Although there was a little truth in that, it was not how he imagined it to go. He imagined her to move on in her own time. He would never take advantage of a situation like this. He hoped, but knew it could never be. They were the top of the command chain, what message would they give the crew?
"Chakotay?" He guessed he had been quiet for a while for her to draw his attention back. He just smiled.
"I just want you to know I'm here for you." he said. She felt the meaning behind his words and swallowed hard. She fought the sting in her eyes.
"I know." was all she could manage. Now she was the one to look away. They both went quiet as they took another sip. They just sat there, looking around the room, watching their crew enjoy themselves.
"You've gone awfully quiet on me." Chakotay said, startling her. "Sure you're okay?"
"Yes, I am. It's just… I was thinking about the past couple of years."She paused and turned to look at him. She searched his warm, brown eyes for strength.
"I've seen the tears and the heartache, and I've felt the pain. I've seen the hatred and so many lives lost in vain." Tears welled up, but she kept strong. "I know that dreams we hang on to, can just fade away. And I know that words can be wasted with so much to say."
"Let me finish." she pleaded. I took her a minute to continue, pondering on every word she was about to say. "Chakotay… when I feel helpless, and I do sometimes despite what I make out to believe, there's always a light that shines through."
They looked at each other, feeling the heaviness of what had just been said. Did she just imply that he was her light? She closed her eyes and a single tear ran down her face. She instantly wiped it away, looking out the window, when Tom interrupted them.
"Commander, want to be our fourth man in a game of poker? "
She smiled at him, assuring him it was okay. He hesitated for a moment, a concerned look on his face.
"Go and enjoy yourself!" she said, "We'll talk about this later."
He nodded and stood up, briefly touching her shoulder with his fingertips.
"Ready to get your ass whooped… Sorry Commander."
She couldn't help but smile at the comment Tom had just made to an outranking officer, as she watched Chakotay give him a glare. She poured herself another glass and took a few sips before looking out the window again. She hoped Chakotay understood what she had been trying to say. He was her light, the one who always got her back on to her feet, when she was knocked down. The one who refused letting her slip in that dark place that was always so close. The one who carried her burden with her.
She felt tired, physically and emotionally, and felt like going to her quarters, take a long hot bath and crawl into bed. But Neelix had gone to so much trouble organizing this lovely gathering in such a short time, that she felt it would be insulting to leave so soon. She finished her glass and filled it again, setting it down on the table.
Naomi ran over to her, with a sad look on her face. She turned around, crossed her arms and leaned against Kathryn's legs. She let out an exaggerated sigh, which made Kathryn smile because she knew what was wrong the minute she saw Ensign Wildman coming towards them too.
"NO, I don't want to go to sleep yet! I'm not tired!"she yelled.
"Naomi, it's already eight o'clock. It's time to go to bed."
"NO!"she stated and turned around to look into Kathryn's eyes, pleading for backup. "Please Captain Janeway, can I stay up a little while longer, PLEEEEEASE…"
She picked up the little girl, sat her across her lap and envelopped her in a warm embrace. She winked at Samantha and smiled back at Naomi.
"Let's make a deal, shall we. I'll tell you a bedtime story and then you go with your mom off to bed. What do you say?"she winked.
Naomi took a deep breath, thought it over for a second and nodded. "Okay." Samantha smiled and left the two for their little moment together.
"It's a story somebody told me once, not long ago. It's about an angry warrior…" Why she was telling her Chakotay's story, she didn't know, but she took her own comfort in telling it and remembering what he had meant with it.
Naomi listened intently. When the story was finished, she hugged Kathryn. "Thank you, goodnight Captain." She gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Kathryn hugged her back, really holding on tight to the little girl, imagining herself with her own child, which she knew she would never have as long as they were stranded out here. She had to let go as Samantha took her daughter by the hand to take her to her quarters.
"Thank you." she whispered. Kathryn dipped her head and smiled.
She watched them walk away. Her mind was all over the place. Her chest tightened at the thoughts going through her. She stranded her crew, they lost contact with home, she didn't know how to explain her feelings towards her First Officer, she lost her safety net that was Mark, her longing to have a child,…
It almost felt like a panic attack was coming, but she managed to fight it. She was amongst all of her crewmembers, what would they think… She reached for her glass, emptied it again and took a deep breath. She stood up and walked over to the window, leaning against a bulkhead.
"Get your act together, Captain!"she whispered to herself, using her rank to emphasize the reason why she had to.
"Care for another drink, Captain?" She turned around, startled.
"Thank you, B'Elanna." she smiled. She accepted the glass and looked at it, trying to figure out what it was.
"It's a Neelix cocktail." B'Elanna explained at the puzzeled look on Kathryn's face. "I don't know what's in it, but it tastes good. Sweet and alcoholic." She raised her glass and took a sip. She thought they could use it.
"Oh, okay." Kathryn tried it as well and nodded. "Nice indeed, but I guess you don't need a lot of these to get light-headed." she stated, already feeling like that now she thought about it. It kind of felt nice, numbing.
"I'm off duty tomorrow, so I don't really care."
Kathryn could hear in B'Elanna's voice that she wasn't in a cheery mood. "I take it you got a bad letter?"
She looked out the window. "No, but the one Chakotay got, was as bad for me as it was for him."
"Yeah, he got a letter from a Maquis friend telling us that all of our friends were killed. The Cardassians have whipped them all out. Thousands of them. Just about every one of the Maquis is dead, except for us." She clenched her fist and hit the bulkhead. Kathryn grabbed her hand and held it.
"B'Elanna, I'm so sorry." She tried to comfort her. B'Elanna pulled her hand away and held it up between them.
"I don't want to be comforted! Those were our friends, GOOD people willing to put their lives on the line for what they believed in." She was getting furious again, just like she had been when Chakotay had told her the news.
"B'Elanna, I understand, but try to be calm. There's nothing you can do."
"I WILL make them pay! If we ever get home." Her words hit Kathryn like a ton of bricks. If… She sighed deeply.
"I've got to get out of here!" B'Elanna turned on her heel and stomped away. Kathryn reached for her, but couldn't catch her. Her heart felt heavy again as she watched B'Elanna leave the room. She knew her well enough to know that this would subside after she had a quiet night on her own to think it all over.
Her own heart was beating heavily as she felt the threatening panic attack again. She looked at her drink, knowing it was a bad idea, but emptied it anyway. She squinted as the alcohol tickled the back of her throat. She blew out a huff of air.
She turned around to sit at the table again and poured the last of the bottle of champagne into her glass. At that point, she couldn't care less.
Chakotay couldn't concentrate on the poker game. His eyes kept drifting off to where he had left Kathryn and saw her still sitting in that same spot, still looking out the window.
"Hmm? Oh sorry, I fold." he said and threw his cards on the table.
"You serious?" Tom asked in disbelieve, knowing Chakotay had a good hand.
"I call it quits guys, I'm exhausted." he started to stand up.
"Oh come on." Tom tried to change his mind, but it didn't work.
"Sorry." he just said and walked away from the table towards Kathryn. As he came closer, he could see that she was not well. "Kathryn?" he touched her shoulder. She looked up at him with an unfocused look and gave him a lopsided grin.
"Hi, 'kotay." He looked at her in concern and came closer to look in her eyes. They were bloodshot.
"Kathryn, you're drunk." he said, a little irritated.
"Am not, jusss teeny bit." She reached for his arm and knocked over her glass. It shattered on the table and it suddenly went quiet in the room.
"Let's get you to your quarters." He helped her up and had to hold her firmly as she swayed suddenly. He put his arms around her waist to support her and started walking to the door.
Tuvok walked over to them. "Is the Captain all right."
"No she's not! I don't want anyone to see her like this!" Tuvok looked at her and knew exactly why. He nodded in agreement and let them pass. As the door closed, he turned around to see everyone staring.
"The Captain is fine. She is exhausted and will return to her quarters for a good night's rest." He returned to his table and everyone started talking again.
"Is she really okay?" Tom asked.
"As I said, she is just exhausted. Nothing to worry about."
Chakotay got them into the turbo lift without running in to anyone, much to his relief.
"Chakotay, I…"she started as she looked up at him.
"Not now, let's get you to your quarters first." He refused to look at her.
She pouted and tried to focus on the doors as they opened. He guided her out of the lift, grabbing on to her, because she couldn't set one foot straight before the other anymore. Although she was a light-weight, he had trouble balancing them both. He was glad her quarters weren't that far. He keyed in the lock code and stepped inside, walking straight to her sleeping section. He sat her down on the bed and she immediately fell backwards, one arm over her head.
"My, my, you don't hesitate." She giggled, words coming out slurred.
He looked at her, hands on his hips and shaking his head, not knowing how to respond to all this. She pushed herself into a sitting position and reached for his jacket. She pulled him closer to grab on to his arms and pulled herself in a standing position. She looked him in the eyes, the stupidest grin on her face. He turned away and sighed.
"Chakotay," she started as she placed her hands on his face to make him look at her. Her look saddened as she began to realize she had crossed the line. " 'm sorry. Don't know what came over me." She let go of his face and let her hands rest on his shoulders.
"Kathryn, you always go on about how the Senior Staff has to set an example for the rest of the crew, well, some example you are now. You're the Captain for God sake!" he raised his voice a little to show her exactly how angry he was at the moment, but regretted it immediately as he saw tears forming in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." she whispered as she looked down and rested her forehead on his chest.
"Oh Kathryn." he just said. His hands came up, one resting on her back, the other one on the back of her head. He felt her starting to cry and gently stroked her back. "Shhh, it's okay."
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as she let it all out. She was glad he was there, holding on to her as she felt like the world was caving in on her. How could she let herself get drunk, when she was supposed to be the one to keep her crew positive after everything. They should be able to come to her in their time of need, instead she just thought about herself and got smashed.
"My eyes have seen too much. This nightmare…it's not fair and I had enough! I've been beat down and I've been broken, but each day I give it another try. For the crew, the Staff, for you… I saw for one fleeting moment, joy and hope in everyone's eyes and it has been ripped away yet again." she sobbed. She clenched her fists, hurting herself as her fingernails dug in her palms.
"You always put your crew first, as a Captain should, but who is there for YOU in YOUR time of need? Remember the angry warrior legend? I promised to be by your side, doing whatever I can to make your burden lighter."
"But I can't be that person if you don't let me in. If you don't confide in me I can't help you with whatever is troubling you." He felt so helpless. He often tried to break through her shell, but she just turned to herself, trying to figure it out on her own. He knew that sometime she had to break down. That time was right now and this time, he was there for her. His heart felt heavy as he sensed her pain and heared her cry.
Her crying subsided as she tried to gain control over her emotions again. He let go of her head, so she could look at him. Her red rimmed eyes locked with his deep browns as she searched for what she wanted to tell him. She knew exactly what to tell him, but couldn't seem to find the heart.
"There are no words that can describe how I feel deep inside."
"Try." he insisted.
She closed her eyes for a second, took in a deep breath and held it.
"I feel lost." she let out. "There's some much I want to see different, undo some choices I've made in the past, have the people we lost safe and sound again. To begin with at least. And…"she paused again.
"And what, Kathryn. Just tell me." he urged her to go on, feeling he was so close.
"There were times I ran to hide, afraid to show how I really felt inside. But I know now just who you are and that you truly hold my heart. Till today I've wondered if this is where I belong, here in your arms." she let it all pour out, having spoken those words a million times before since New Earth. With every one of those words out there now, she felt some weight being lifted of her shoulders.
"It is finally clear to me… YOU are the home my heart was looking for, not Mark. Please tell me that there's some truth in what I'm seeing in your eyes… what I'm feeling when you touch me… what I'm hearing when you say my name…" she pleaded as silent tears rolled down her cheeks again.
At first he couldn't believe what she was saying. But as her words sank in, he knew that she felt exactly the same way about him, as he had felt since the first time they had met. His eyes grew moist and he started smiling, showing off his lovely dimples.
"Kathryn, you not only belong here in my arms, you belong in my heart… my soul… you're everything to me…" The words choked in his throat. "You had me since the first time I met you on the bridge. And since our time at New Earth, my love has only grown stronger."
"Oh Chakotay." she cried. His hands came up to her face and cupped her cheeks. His thumb stroked gently, wiping away her tears.
"I love you, Kathryn Janeway, with all my heart!" He leaned in and kissed her beautiful, wet mouth. Tasting the salt of her tears and the sweetness of her luscious lips, he felt like heaven opened its doors for him.
He tried to hold on to that sensation, but she suddenly pulled away. He looked at her in concern as her eyes widened. Did he do something wrong? Didn't she just admit in feeling the same?
"Oh God…"she said, pushing him back a little. "I don't feel so good…" Her hand went to her mouth as she felt something come up. She pushed him out of the way and ran to the toilet. She fell to her knees just in time and retched violently. Chakotay walked in after her and drenched a washcloth with cold water. He knelt down beside her and held her hair back. Although he was a little disgusted, he didn't mind being there.
"Ugh, awful." she managed to say, feeling a little embarrassed.
"It's okay, just let it out." He reassured her. Her body heaved again as more came out. She almost choked, but managed to take a deep breath in between. When nothing came up anymore, she collapsed against his chest, eyes closed, breathing heavily. He cleaned of her face and hand.
She opened her eyes slightly. "Thank you. I feel much better now."
"Let's get you to bed" he said as he put his arms under her knees and around her back, picking her up. She let her head rest on his shoulder while she held on to the washcloth. He gently laid her down, trying not to upset her stomach again with sudden movements. He took of her shoes and jacket.
"Could you get me a glass of water, or my mouthwash? I still have this awful taste in my mouth." she asked.
"Sure, I'll be right back." He headed towards the bathroom again, flushed the toilet and looked for her mouthwash.
She couldn't believe what had just happened. She had never felt more embarrassed in her life, with him standing over her, holding her hair while she was sick. On the other hand, she also found it a very sweet gesture. It proved he was there for her all the way. She managed to take of her undershirt and slacks, but decided to keep on her tank and underwear. She removed the clip from her hair and lied down on the pillow.
Chakotay came back in and put down a bowl and the mouthwash. He helped her sit up and handed her the glass of water. She took small sips and tried to keep them down. When she had enough, he handed her the bowl and mouthwash, so she could get rid of the nasty taste.
"Thanks." she sighed. She lay back down and he took everything back to the bathroom, except for the glass of water and bowl. She slowly turned on her right side, laying close to the edge, and tried to focus on her breathing. She felt nauseous again, but nothing came of it.
"You okay? You still look pale." He asked as he pulled her blanket over her. He pushed away a strand of hair and caressed her cheek.
"I will be. Still a bit nauseous, but I'll manage." she assured him, although she wasn't so sure herself. "I'm just sleepy now."
"Then close your eyes and sleep." He turned around, but she quickly grabed his hand and pulled him back a little.
"Stay with me, please?" she begged. "I don't want to be alone tonight."
"I wasn't planning on going anywhere." he smiled, reassuring her. She let go of his hand so he could take of his shoes and jacket. He too stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers and crawled in behind her. He scooted over, spooning her. Afraid to disturb her, he lay very quiet.
"Hold me." she whispered as she reached behind her to pull his arm around her. He closed his eyes and buried his nose in her hair, breathing in her flowery scent. He had longed for this for so long.
"I'll never let you go." he said and they both drifted off to sleep.
Kathryn woke up with an awful sensation going through her. She felt like she was going to be sick again and drew in a deep breath. Chakotay stirred in his sleep and pulled his arm away, much to her relief. She slid out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, to puke out whatever is left in her stomach. Not much it seemed, because all she managed to bring up was a small amount of bile.
' I'm never drinking again' she thought, as she laid her head on one arm, still hanging on to the toilet. She felt drained and her throat hurt. She closed her eyes, not having the strength to get back up again. It didn't take long before she drifted off to sleep, although she was sitting in that uncomfortable position.
Chakotay turned to search for her warmth, but when he didn't find her he was up in a second, glancing around the room. "Kathryn?" he whispered. When she didn't answer, he got out of bed to look in the bathroom. When he saw her, he felt sad for her. Not only because she was sick, but why she got drunk in the first place. He knelt down beside her and gently caressed her cheek with his fingers.
"Kathryn." he whispered again. She didn't move. He brushed away a strand of hair and kissed the top of her head. "Kathryn."
"Hmm." she moaned and furrowed her eyebrows. She didn't look like she was about to wake up, so he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to bed. He crawled back in next to her, propped up on one elbow to look at her. She looked so peaceful sleeping, but he knew she was restless inside. He felt powerless. Why wasn't he able to help the one he loved so deeply. A silent tear ran down his face and fell on his hand. He looked at it and couldn't hold it in anymore. He covered his face and tried to muffle his sobs, making his throat hurt. He didn't understand his reaction, but he just couldn't stop. Suddenly he felt her hand pull at his wrist.
"Chakotay." she whispered. He couldn't look at her so he kept his eyes closed, but his tears kept falling anyway. She put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him down in a hug. He laid his head on her chest and held on to her, letting it all out. She gently rubbed his back, soothing him. It took him a couple of minutes, but regained his composure. They both went silent again.
She was the first to say something. "Guess we're both in pretty bad shape, aren't we." He chuckled and turned his head up to look her in the eye. She too smiled a soft smile, making him feel better.
"Guess we are. Let's do something about that." She looked at him in question. He moved a little and was now hovering over her. Their eyes locked and her heart fluttered lightly. His soft lips met hers in a wonderful kiss, stirring up the warmth within her. He broke the kiss and looked at her. She still had her eyes closed.
"Are you okay?" he asked. Their first kiss hadn't been that successful.
"I feel… wonderful." she smiled. "Kiss me again!" He did as ordered and placed his lips on hers again. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer. She melted as his tongue joined the kiss. A moan escaped from deep within her, as he coaxed her into arousal.
His free hand caressed her knee and up her thigh. His lips left hers and started kissing her cheek, her jawbone and her neck. She turned her head slightly to give him better access. He immediately found the spot that made her wild, making her moan. Her arms went limb and she let them fall on her pillow, surrendering to his ministrations.
His hand left her legs and trailed up along her side, grazing the side of her breast. He kissed his way down to the neckline of her tank, making her arch her back to encourage him to go on. He pulled down the strap, revealing a crisp white satin bra. He always thought of her of being a lace type of woman, but now he guessed she was as soft inside as the fabric hidden underneath the façade of captain.
He kissed the top of her breast and his thumb caressed the already hardened nub. She gasped and arched further into his touch. Feeling the constriction of her tank, she pushed him aside and pulled it off over her head. Instead of lying back down, she swung her leg over his hips pushed him down. She looked him in the eyes and he saw the uncontrollable hunger in hers. She looked like a feline creature ready to attack, and she did. She closed the distance between them, plunging into his mouth and digging her fingernails into his chest. She broke the kiss to pull his tank over his head and discarded it to the floor. She straddled his hips and felt his hard member brushing against her inner folds.
His hands went up behind her, unclasping her bra. She crossed her arms in front of her, taking off her bra, but not letting him have the pleasure yet of seeing her in her full bareness. He pushed up in a sitting position, their bodies close and he kissed her again.
"Let me see you." he whispered in her mouth. She put her arms around his neck and arched her back again, offering her breasts to him. He kissed the valley between them, taking in her scent.
"It has been awhile since anyone has seen me… well, naked." she said, feeling a bit exposed.
"You look beautiful." His breath was warm against her skin. He kissed her breast and suddenly locked on to her nipple, making her gasp. She lost all coherent thoughts as a wave of arousal made his way down. She moaned deeply as his tongue played with the tight nub. He refocused on the other nipple, tugging it lightly with his teeth. She couldn't take this much longer. She cupped his cheeks, making him look at her.
"I want you to… I NEED you to make love to me, NOW!" she begged. He gently pushed her of him and she lay down again. He pulled down her underpants and threw them on the floor. He did the same with his boxers and her eyes grew wide. His erection caused her breath to catch and he couldn't help but smile.
He moved his knees between her welcoming legs, hovering over her. He slowly slid inside her, making her hold her breath and her mouth forming an 'o'. He gave her a moment to adjust. As she relaxed her inner muscles, he started to move, each time going a little deeper.
"Oh my… this feels good." she said huskily. She pulled up her knees, locking her feet behind him, urging him to go faster. She closed her eyes, but he just couldn't stop looking at her.
He tried to slow down again, wanting this to last a little bit longer. She looked at him and smiled wickedly as she tightened her inner muscles. He closed his eyes and concentrated on not coming yet, wanting her to come with him. He repositioned himself on his knees and she let her legs fall open. He began to thrust again, rubbing against the front wall of her vagina. Her breathing changed as she could only manage short gasps. The sensation was intense and she could feel her entire body begin to tremble with the pleasure that ripped through her.
She closed her eyes and her mouth dropped open. "Oh, oh, oh God." she cried in ecstasy. He quickened his pace and felt the same sensation build up inside him. She knew he was about to come, so she tightened her inner muscles one last time, making him cry out her name. "Kathryn!" His hot semen filled her as he thrust hard a few last times, pausing between each one. He collapsed on top of her, breathing very heavily. She just wrapped her arms around him, not wanting him to leave her warmth just yet.
"I love you, Chakotay." she whispered in his ear. He lifted his head to look into her eyes and smiled.
"I love you too, with all my heart!" he answered and kissed her softly. He pulled out of her and stretched out against her side. There was nothing more to be said, so they just looked at each other, savoring this wonderful feeling.
She felt her eyes growi heavy, so she turned to her side, pulling him close to her. He nuzzled her hair and closed his eyes. It didn't take long before they both drifted off to sleep, a smile spread across their faces. The future had suddenly turned brighter for the both of them.