A/N: This is my first attempt at a crackfic, though knowing me, it should just come naturally.

Kyon sat silently in the Brigade clubroom, unable to shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. Itsuki wasn't present, though the two had ran into each other earlier that morning, and the esper didn't say anything save for a very vague warning. Kyon eventually tried asking Yuki about it, but she made several attempts to avoid the subject before throwing him across the room and demanding to be left alone.

Needless to say, he complied. Besides, he'd probably receive the answers he needed when Haruhi arrived.

When she finally did, he was just as clueless.

"Good news everyone!" She practically screamed.

"You've discovered the pleasure of beating dead memes?" Kyon tilted his head.

"Better! I've finally become aware of my reality-warping powers!"

What followed was a five minute silence.

"How?" Kyon eventually asked.

"Well, I got hungry last night so I got out some lemon cheesecake... but then I realized... Lemon Cheesecake is too perfect to have been created by mortal hands. It must have been made by some kind of a divine being."

"So... you concluded that you were this divine being?" he sighed.

"No... but I did figure that Yuki might know the answer, so I went over to her apartment and blackmailed her. Did you know she never sleeps?"

Kyon and Mikuru both gave Yuki an accusing glare, in response to which she simply shrugged.

"On a completely unrelated note..." The alien explained. "I now have apiphobia."

"So..." Kyon sighed. "I assume now you're going to make life more like an adventure novel or something?"

"No, that's already been done." She dismissed. "What I plan to create is nonstop wackiness!"

He shook his head in disbelief. "I'm pretty sure that's been done too."

"Well, obviously." She admitted. "But I figured I could do better."

"I see." By this point, Kyon had obviously given up. "So how are you going to accomplish this?"

"Well, I figured if I just repeated overused memes and jokes I heard on Family Guy... Maybe throw in some unnecessary crossovers that only a minority will understand."

"I thought you were going to try and do better." Yuki interrupted.

"You're right." Haruhi sighed. "But I have already made some subtle changes to this world, like creating a Russian clone of myself!"

"Very subtle." Itsuki agreed as he walked in carrying the clone in question.

"Уверенное упование i этот перевод приходит вне справедливо." She greeted them.

"I call her Hдruhi!" The original Haruhi exclaimed.

"That would be a clever nickname." Kyon admitted. "If not for the fact that the letter д is a Russian D, not an A."

"Shцt цp." Haruhi retorted.

A/N: It's funny because it mocks other crackfics.