Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.
A/N: Um, this was supposed to be my thing for the Christmas Fic Gift Exchange thingy on the Chit Chat forum, but it kind of took its own course. So I'll be doing another Morgan/Prentiss fic for that.
"We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas-"
"-Now please shut the fuck up," Rossi finished, perfectly in tune. His colleagues nodded their agreement, glaring, and the herd of carollers who had gathered outside the BAU left sheepishly. The team, already in a bad mood because they were the only unit left in the BAU, and still had to finish paperwork, was in no mood for carollers.
"That was mean," JJ remarked, slamming the door shut. "But thank God they're gone."
"Normally I love any opportunity to drown you Scrooges in Christmas spirit," Garcia said, "but they were just bad."
"I think that one on the left ruptured my ear drum sometime during 'Silent Night'," Emily moaned, rubbing her ear. "They were even worse than Morgan when he sings."
JJ nodded. "I second that!"
Morgan crossed his arms. "Hey!" He teasingly shoved Emily, but she lost her balance, tripped and fell onto JJ, who fell backwards onto Rossi, whose elbow pushed Garcia, who stumbled backwards onto Reid. Who fell.
And they all went down like dominoes.
Emily had the presence of mind to grab Morgan's shirt as she fell, pulling him down with her.
Go Emily! she crooned internally as his arms flailed and he tumbled to the floor. Her triumphant thoughts quickly turned to 'Oh fuck, why the hell did I do that?' when he landed smack on top of her.
"Hernia! Hernia!" Garcia cried, trying in vain to push Rossi's leg off her stomach.
"Get. Off. Me," Emily said deliberately. "Now." In response, Morgan sat up on her tummy and gave a few little bounces.
"Like this Prentiss?"
JJ groaned as Emily's spine and high heels dug into her- or rather, bounced up and down on her because Morgan was fucking playing trampolines on Emily's stomach!
"Do you mind?" Rossi snarled. "We're all feeling that!"
"I think we killed Reid," JJ stated matter-of-factly, reaching under Rossi and Garcia to poke Reid's cheek.
Rossi caught her hand to stop her. "If you lot on top keep moving, my back is going to give out."
"Um, a little help here?" Morgan asked Hotch pointedly. The unit chief sighed, but held out his hands and pulled Emily and Morgan up simultaneously. Rossi grunted as he forced JJ up, and he moved his leg off Garcia, who hopped up perkily, pulling Reid up with her.
"My...leg..." JJ gasped out, hopping up and down on foot whilst clutching her ankle.
"What happened?" Hotch asked, concerned.
"My ankle broke Emily's shoes' fall!"
"Oh, thank God," Garcia sighed, her hand on her heart. "I was worried." At everyone else's stares, she shrugged defensively. "What? They're Jimmy Choos!"
"Thanks Penelope, it's really nice to know how much you care about me," JJ said dryly. Garcia stuck her tongue out at her friend before pulling her into a hug.
"You know I love you."
"Ooh," Morgan said mockingly. "JJ and Garcia sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes..."
"I get it now!" Reid cried out, clasping his hands together. "Garcia and Kevin were sitting in a tree, and then it goes 'first comes love' and therefore JJ was alluding to the fact that Kevin wanted to go out with Garcia!"
Morgan burst into hysterics. "You still hadn't gotten that? What are you, five?"
"Hey!" Emily snapped. "You just played dominoes with us, so I wouldn't talk if I were you."
"I happen to think dominoes is a fun game," Morgan replied, looking affronted. "And seeing as it's three days before Christmas, carollers apparently think it's today, and we're stuck in here doing paperwork thanks to JJ," he glared at her, "picking a case two weeks before Christmas, at least I still have the sense of humor to have fun! Unlike some people."
"Excusez-moi, mon cheri, but did you just call us boring?" Garcia demanded, hand on her hip.
"I might be old, but I've done more in my life than you will ever do," Rossi informed him.
"Prove it," Morgan challenged them. "Since we've established that I'm the least boring, I say we play a game. Whoever doesn't play is a, ah, how should I put this?" He grinned. "A stuffy old codger."
"You're on," JJ replied, eyes flashing. "Whatever you want to do."
"I say we race each other to the bullpen, using any means necessary to win. The loser has to go first for a round of Spin the Bottle in Hotch's office."
They all looked at each other for a second, gauging reactions.
Then all hell broke loose.
"Move, move, move!" Emily shrieked, charging for the elevator. Reid thought the elevator would be too slow, and decided to leg it up the twenty-one flights of stairs. Garcia tripped Morgan up as he ran after Reid, and JJ shoved Emily away as she tried to be first in the elevator.
Hotch rolled his eyes, watching the six highly-trained and highly sought-after FBI agents wrestling and chasing each other. "My team is a bunch of preschoolers," he muttered.