Title: Wake Up
Rating: Call it M, but only for language
Summary: Quinn wakes up naked at Puck's house. A throw-away. Hope you like it.
Someone was pushing gently at her shoulder. "You have to wake up now."
Quinn heard her name, the directive and felt immediately vaguely strange about the person whose voice she knew must be saying it. As she shook herself into consciousness, that feeling became something like terror. Strange bed. And she was naked. "Oh no. No. Where am I—what the fu-oh no. Please no no no no no."
There was some sort of bedside lamplight and her bedmate, a very clothed in Berry Rachel Berry attempted, then obviously decided against, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Her voice was completely calm, "Quinn, I believe in teenage vernacular it would be appropriate at this juncture to say chill. It's 4:36 AM. Everyone in the house is finally asleep and we need to go home. I texted my fathers but your mother will be worried, I'm sure. You need to get dressed and leave with me."
Quinn pulled the bed sheet up and looked around her, at Rachel and somehow registered the fact that the other girl respected her modesty and only met her eyes. Kind brown eyes. Quinn blinked through her fear and sighed, "What happened?"
Rachel waved a hand. "Noah's party happened. Too many alcoholic beverages on your part. Despite the fact you were feigning frivolity, I perceived you were actually melancholy. When Noah suggested you go upstairs with him, I immediately offered to join you because I knew he wouldn't refuse the possibility of what I imagined he would think would be a Jewish-Gentile threesome. Although melancholy, the fact you disrobed made you appear libidinous, so I forced Noah out of the room and locked the door. As your teammate, I felt your inebriation was a limitation to your capacity for sexual consent and the possibility of two untimely pregnancies would be untenable both for you and for the Glee club. I must apologize for the fact that I performed that act in such a nearly violent fashion it might have appeared as if I was rampant in my desire to have you all to myself. Although you've spent the past few hours unconscious and I've spent the time occasionally hectoring Noah about bothering us, we should probably leave before our time together appears more licentious than it's been."
Quinn blinked, "Did you even fucking breathe saying that?"
"Language. Once. But yes, breath control is vital for a singer."
"Noted. So that's the story?'
"It's the truth. Is the phrase 'I'm sticking to it' apropos?'
Quinn stared at Rachel, feeling and knowing that yet again the other girl was the better person. Rachel had taken care of her. Again. And could have so very easily made all this clean-up as excruciating as she would have were their positions reversed. But she obviously wasn't going to. Given their history, it was almost sad it was so kind.
"Stockholm Syndrome much?"
Rachel flinched. "I understand the reference but I don't think I'll dignify that admittedly apt comment with an answer."
"You shouldn't. And I'm sorry. Way out of line."
"On the other hand? Libidinous. Good word, Berry."
Rachel picked at her sweater. "Yes. I like polysyllables."
Quinn smiled, "News flash. Can you look away for a sec? I need to get dressed."
Rachel turned her head, "Of course. Your clothes are folded on that chair."
When Quinn had dressed herself, Rachel stood up and although she looked tired, she looked ready for a fight.
"What do you wish to say about this? I know you don't like me and that it would be embarrassing for you to have others presume you've spent the night in some sort of sexual congress with the school pond scum. There's a modicum of self-hatred in doing this but my team spirit demands I say we corroborate our stories."
Quinn looked down into big earnest brown doe eyes and made a quick decision.
"First of all? I know it's a legit phrase but don't use the words sexual and congress in the same sentence. Because eww. Second? I don't necessarily not like you. If it doesn't bother you, Berry, just tell them we needed some alone time."
"Alone time. That's not a particularly innocuous elucidation of what went on in this room over the past four hours," Rachel was silent for a long moment before immediately taking one big step away from Quinn. "Wait. Is this a prank?"
"A prank? I passed out and woke up naked beside you? Even for me, that would be…"
"Elaborate," Rachel answered.
"Or crazy mean and I'm neither."
Rachel tilted her head.
Quinn nodded. "Point taken."
Rachel began making the bed as she asked, "Would this appear as if we're dating or that we just hooked up? Because technically we haven't done either. And you don't even call me Rachel, which is awkward if we're positing the ruse this was an amicable albeit impromptu sleepover of sorts on our part. The nomenclature for romantic interactions between teens is rather…"
"You do realize you're making a bed for a boy who wanted to no cash and dash us, don't you?"
"It's the polite thing to do."
"Yes. Polite. No. I don't care. Rachel. There. I said your name. Why don't we just not…how would you say it? Dignify whatever people might think with a response?"
Rachel thought for three seconds, then smiled, "That is a very excellent plan."
Quinn smiled right back, "Okay. So. Walk of shame. Let's go."
"I've never had one. It's slightly exciting."
"Believe me. It so isn't and I've had one but didn't get to share it."
Quinn held out her hand, and Rachel took it, saying. "Before we leave?"
"You may excoriate me for this and I can deal with that as I have for years but I will risk saying when you're asleep and quiet and not relentlessly busy being brutally mean to me, you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."
Quinn felt her heart do something really, really weird and she looked at Rachel for a long moment before saying, "Rachel, you're the most irritating and beautiful person I've ever known. Period. Awake and talking."
Rachel shook her head and didn't seem to trust herself beyond saying, "We've reached an agreement of sorts. Let's go."
As they maneuvered their way through the living room and five sleeping guys, Puck woke up, shot to attention and motioned them toward the door.
They left the house and stood on the porch as he closed the door quietly and shivered in the morning cold. He lifted up his fist to Rachel and whispered, "Pound dog for the Jewish cockblock."
After a moment of complete bafflement on Rachel's part, Quinn said, "Raise your fist and bump it with his."
Rachel did so—and forcefully.
"Damn! Hard, Berry!" He smiled at Rachel sheepishly, "Thanks for being there for my baby mama. When the Puckasaurus gets loose, somebody needs a brain. But listen. Q? I told everybody that you had a few too many and Rach locked you up and was making you play Scrabble with her until you were okay to drive. Everybody bought it. Except for S, because she wanted to free you and shit but then B kissed her and you know how that goes."
"All too well."
"Ooh. You and them. Is that a picture I can keep?"
"Pig. Whatever. Like it's not in your spank bank already."
"Burn. Also true."
"Later, Puck. We need to get home."
"Yeah, later. Drive safe."
Quinn raised one thumb. So very Puck. An asshole and a gentleman.
As they walked toward their cars, Rachel said, "I'm sure you must be glad that Noah gave us an alibi making our evening seem nothing to gossip about and making me seem slightly idiotic."
Quinn stopped dead in her tracks and ferociously pulled Rachel by her coat so that they were face to face. "I really just want to kiss you right now. Is that okay with you?"
Rachel's eyes widened but she whispered, "Yes."
The kiss was so soft and so sweet that Quinn could scarcely believe it. She sighed, then grinned. "I think I'm going to have to do that a lot more to get it right, Rachel."
Quinn laughed. "Monosyllable! Yes! I broke her!"
Rachel hesitated, then rested her head on Quinn's chest. Quinn wrapped her arms around the girl, who said, "Please don't break me."
Quinn took a breath. Okay. That was fair.
"I won't. If anyone asks? I didn't play Scrabble with you. I just spent time very, very happy to be with you. I'm sorry I was asleep."
Rachel smiled and bumped her head on Quinn's chest. "Our stories are remarkably similar."
"I know, right?"
"You need to go home, as do I, but should we discuss the parameters of what's—"
Quinn kissed Rachel and then she really kissed her. "Parameters are for dummies. More kissing."
Rachel narrowed her eyes, "But at school?"
"Everyone else can wake up. If you want them to."
"You said it. Pow! It's done."
"No. Just stop. All the teenage pregnancy thrown out of my house drama taught me one thing, Rach. It doesn't matter. What people say? It may hurt—and bad—but it doesn't matter. Look who's talking? To whom? We both know that."
Rachel stared at her, then said, "Your appropriate use of whom is pleasurably noted. You're so pretty."
"Okay. Slightly random but thank you and you are too."
"I have to go home."
"Text me and let me know you got there."
"Rachel? Aren't you forgetting something?"
Rachel smiled, simply looked up and said, "Quinn."
"Never. This is too pretty." She kissed her very tenderly. "Tomorrow I promise I'll still be asleep with you."
"Your nose is cold."
"Still random. Yours is too and it's bigger than mine."
Rachel snorted. "And now she gets personal. Go home."
They parted and walked the short distance to their cars.
"Wake up, Fabray!"
"Not happening, Berry."