Celebrity Deathmatch—Anime Style: Non-Chibi Gohan VS Darien, Shampoo (Cat Form) VS Luna, and Sailor Scouts VS Ginyu Force: The Battle of the Sexes
Serena: YAHOO! I'm fighting today in our last round! I can't wait!
Hermione: Uh...yeah, anyway, Bulma is here with a tape she made while spying on Gohan and Darien's coffee-and-chat yesterday...it is the tape of how the first fight got started.
Bulma: (puts tape in a VCR, and giant screen comes on)
Gohan: Hey Darien! That girlfriend of yours is really something!
Darien: What's that supposed to mean?
Gohan: She's hotter than Videl!
Darien: You've got to be kidding, man, Videl is like the hottest thing in this world!
Gohan: Hey! Let's have a fight over Serena, just for the hell of it!
Hermione, Serena, and Bulma: (are all silent)
Hermione: Ehhh...I was expecting a little more...arguing...and...vulgar language...but anyway...
Bulma: Here's the first battle! Gohan VS Darien!
Darien and Gohan: (enter the ring)
Darien: Hi Gohan!
Gohan: Hi Darien!
Darien: Well, I think I'm going to fight you now...
Gohan: Yeah, I think I am too...
Darien: Uh...(throws a rose at Gohan) (it lands on the ground)
Gohan: (picks up the rose) (pricks his finger) OW!
Darien: Are you okay?
Gohan: I think so...thank you for asking...
Darien: Here, have some Anti-bacterial soap! (throws a bottle at Gohan)
Gohan: (catches the bottle) Thanks! (puts some on his hands) Oooh! Raspberry!
Darien: Yeah, that's my favorite!
Gohan: Mine too! What a coincidence!
Darien: Wow! Imagine that!
Bulma, Serena, and Hermione: (are all asleep) **snore**
Bulma: (wakes up) Huh? What? (wakes Hermione and Serena up)
Hermione: I'm sorry...I dozed...
Gohan: (looks up at the control tower) Wow, that Serena is REALLY, REALLY hot...
Darien: Would you stop saying that! She's MY girlfriend! You've got Videl!
Gohan: But I want Serena!
Darien: That's it! Give me back my anti-bacterial soap!
Gohan: But I like raspberry!
Darien: Too bad! Hand it over!
Gohan: (gives Darien the soap with an ashamed look on his face)
Darien: (punches Gohan in the face)
Gohan: KAME...HAME...HAA! (blasts Darien into the audience where he is taken immediately into care)
(flies up to Serena and holds her)
Bulma: (giggles uncontrollably)
Hermione: (tries to hold in her laughter)
Serena: Ummm...(scoots away from Gohan)
Gohan: (scoots closer to Serena)
Bulma: The best boyfriend for Serena is Gohan!
Videl: (comes bursting into the control tower door) GOOOOOHAAAAAN!
Gohan: VIDEL! Uhhh...I...Uh...uh...I was just...
Videl: (grabs Gohan by the ear and pulls him out the door)
Hermione: Unfortunately, he's already taken...
Serena: ...That was rather odd...
Bulma: I'll say...
Hermione: ...Anyway, our next battle is the cat form of Shampoo VS...
Serena: The cat form of Luna! **coughgolunacough**
Bulma: ...that shoots the hell out of the "No choosing sides" rule...
Luna: (enters the ring)
Shampoo: (enters the ring carrying a bucket of cold water) (sticks her hand in the water and turns into a cat)
Luna: (jumps at Shampoo-kitty)
Shampoo: (scratches Luna)
Luna and Shampoo: (scratch each other)
Luna: (stops) This is gay! We need to FIGHT! Not scratch each other's lights out!
Shampoo: You right!
Luna: (calls out to Serena) HEY! TURN INTO SUPER SAILOR MOON SO I CAN BE A HUMAN!
Serena: Uhhh...k...CRISIS...MAAAAAKKKE...UUUUP! (transforms into Super Sailor Moon)
Shampoo: (runs and jumps into a hot chocolate someone in the audience had)
Owner of hot chocolate: AH!
Shampoo: (turns into a human) (goes back to ring) (realizes she's butt-ass naked) (goes to get clothes) (comes back) (goes to the ring) (goes into fighting stance)
Luna: Any time now, Super Sailor Moon!
Super Sailor Moon: Ummm...SILVER CRYSTAL OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP! TURN LUNA INTO A HUMAN JUST FOR THIS BATTLE SO THAT SHE MAY BEAT THE LIVING SHIT MONKEYS OUT OF SHAMPOO! (glows with brilliance)
Luna: (turns into a human) Kick ass!
Shampoo: Luna very pretty as human!
Luna: Shampoo use very bad grammar as human...but I really don't mind!
Shampoo: Luna has insulted Shampoo's grammar! Now Luna must die!
Luna: Oh, yeah, I'm afraid!
Super Sailor Moon: GOOOOOOOO LUNA!
Hermione: That REALLY shoots the hell out of the "No taking sides" rule!
Shampoo: (takes a swing at Luna, but she misses)
Luna: HA! Nice shot!
Shampoo: (glares at Luna and pulls a giant spatula out of her pocket)
Super Sailor Moon: **GASP** That's Ukyou's spatula!
Hermione and Bulma: **GASP**
Super Sailor Moon: GOOOOOOOOOOOO LUNA! WAHOO!
Hermione: ¬_¬ mmm...
Luna: (grabs the spatula from Shampoo and beats her senseless with it)
Shampoo: OW! LUNA HURTING SHAMPOO!
Luna: That's the point...
Shampoo: (falls down, unconscious)
Super Sailor Moon: LUNA WINS! YAAAAY!
Hermione: The winner is Luna...
Bulma: As Serena just said...
Super Sailor Moon: Now, our next and last battle is...the one with ME in it!
Hermione: Ehh...it's also known as "The Battle of The Sexes"
Bulma: Oooor...The Sailor Scouts VS The Ginyu Force!
Super Sailor Moon: (jumps down into the ring)
Sailor Mars, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Venus: (enter)
Jeice, Berter, Ginyu, Guldo, and Recoome: (enter)
Sailor Venus: HEY! Red dude! You're cute! Wanna get married?
Sailor Venus and Jeice: (skip out of the ring and out of the building)
The Sailor Scouts and The Ginyu force: (watch as their two friends skip away)
Sailor Jupiter: Hey! That's not fair! I wanna get married too!
Guldo: I'll marry you!
Sailor Jupiter: Uhhh...no thanks...
Captain Ginyu: Hehhehe...CHAAAAAANGE...
Super Sailor Moon: AHHHH! (jumps out of the way)
Captain Ginyu: Awww...**frowns**
Sailor Mars: Flame Sniper! (aims her attack at Captain Ginyu)
Captain Ginyu: (turns to dust)
Sailor Mars: Well, that takes care of that Body-Changing problem...
Super Sailor Moon: Thanks a bunch, Raye!
Sailor Mars: No problem!
Sailor Mercury: MY TURN! SHINE AQUA ILLUSION! (freezes Guldo and pushes him off the ring) There, he was making me sick with those four eyes...
Sailor Jupiter: Now for Berter...
Sailor Jupiter: I'm just to sexy for my Sailor Fuku, aren't I? Anyway...Supreme Thunder! (throws her thunder disc at Berter)
Sailor Mars: They're just too dazed by our beauty to fight! Oh well, I guess I'll take advantage of it! Fire Soul!
Recoome: (blocks the flame) I can't be fooled into stupidity by a pretty girl...
Super Sailor Moon: I think it's a little late for that...
Recoome: Though, all four of you are VERY pretty...
Sailor Jupiter: (walks over to Recoome and cuddles him)
Recoome: **blush** uuuhhhhh...
Sailor Jupiter: How about we blow this joint and go be alone together...huh?
Recoome: W-w-whatever you say, Miss...
Sailor Jupiter: (leads Recoome out of the ring and out of the building)
Everyone: (stares at the shut door)
(a girl screaming "Sparkling Wide Pressure!" and a large blast was heard from outside)
Sailor Jupiter: (walks back into the building and into the ring wiping the dust off her hands) Ok, we won!
The Sailor Scouts: (walk out of the ring)
Super Sailor Moon: (goes back to the control tower) (enters the control tower as Serena)
Hermione: Uh...well...looks like that concludes another exciting episode of...
Bulma: (runs to Serena and hugs her tightly)
Bulma and Serena: Celebrity Deathmatch—ANIME STYLE!