Celebrity Deathmatch—Anime Style: Non-Chibi Gohan VS Darien, Shampoo (Cat Form) VS Luna, and Sailor Scouts VS Ginyu Force: The Battle of the Sexes

Serena: YAHOO! I'm fighting today in our last round! I can't wait!

Hermione: Uh...yeah, anyway, Bulma is here with a tape she made while spying on Gohan and Darien's coffee-and-chat yesterday...it is the tape of how the first fight got started.

Bulma: (puts tape in a VCR, and giant screen comes on)

Hermione, Serena, and Bulma: (are all silent)

Hermione: Ehhh...I was expecting a little more...arguing...and...vulgar language...but anyway...

Bulma: Here's the first battle! Gohan VS Darien!

Darien and Gohan: (enter the ring)

Darien: Hi Gohan!

Gohan: Hi Darien!

Serena: ...

Hermione: **cough**

Bulma: **snicker**

Darien: Well, I think I'm going to fight you now...

Gohan: Yeah, I think I am too...

Darien: Uh...(throws a rose at Gohan) (it lands on the ground)

Gohan: (picks up the rose) (pricks his finger) OW!

Darien: Are you okay?

Gohan: I think so...thank you for asking...

Darien: Here, have some Anti-bacterial soap! (throws a bottle at Gohan)

Gohan: (catches the bottle) Thanks! (puts some on his hands) Oooh! Raspberry!

Darien: Yeah, that's my favorite!

Gohan: Mine too! What a coincidence!

Darien: Wow! Imagine that!

Bulma, Serena, and Hermione: (are all asleep) **snore**

Bulma: (wakes up) Huh? What? (wakes Hermione and Serena up)

Serena: **yawn**

Hermione: I'm sorry...I dozed...

Audience: BOOOOOOO!

Gohan: (looks up at the control tower) Wow, that Serena is REALLY, REALLY hot...

Darien: Would you stop saying that! She's MY girlfriend! You've got Videl!

Gohan: But I want Serena!

Darien: That's it! Give me back my anti-bacterial soap!

Gohan: But I like raspberry!

Darien: Too bad! Hand it over!

Gohan: (gives Darien the soap with an ashamed look on his face)

Darien: (punches Gohan in the face)

Gohan: KAME...HAME...HAA! (blasts Darien into the audience where he is taken immediately into care)

(flies up to Serena and holds her)

Bulma: (giggles uncontrollably)

Hermione: (tries to hold in her laughter)

Serena: Ummm...(scoots away from Gohan)

Gohan: (scoots closer to Serena)

Bulma: The best boyfriend for Serena is Gohan!

Videl: (comes bursting into the control tower door) GOOOOOHAAAAAN!

Gohan: VIDEL! Uhhh...I...Uh...uh...I was just...

Videl: (grabs Gohan by the ear and pulls him out the door)

Hermione: Unfortunately, he's already taken...

Serena: ...That was rather odd...

Bulma: I'll say...

Hermione: ...Anyway, our next battle is the cat form of Shampoo VS...

Serena: The cat form of Luna! **coughgolunacough**

Hermione: ...

Bulma: ...that shoots the hell out of the "No choosing sides" rule...

Luna: (enters the ring)

Shampoo: (enters the ring carrying a bucket of cold water) (sticks her hand in the water and turns into a cat)

Luna: (jumps at Shampoo-kitty)

Shampoo: (scratches Luna)

Luna and Shampoo: (scratch each other)

Luna: (stops) This is gay! We need to FIGHT! Not scratch each other's lights out!

Shampoo: You right!

Luna: (calls out to Serena) HEY! TURN INTO SUPER SAILOR MOON SO I CAN BE A HUMAN!

Serena: Uhhh...k...CRISIS...MAAAAAKKKE...UUUUP! (transforms into Super Sailor Moon)

Shampoo: (runs and jumps into a hot chocolate someone in the audience had)

Owner of hot chocolate: AH!

Shampoo: (turns into a human) (goes back to ring) (realizes she's butt-ass naked) (goes to get clothes) (comes back) (goes to the ring) (goes into fighting stance)

Luna: Any time now, Super Sailor Moon!

Super Sailor Moon: Ummm...SILVER CRYSTAL OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP! TURN LUNA INTO A HUMAN JUST FOR THIS BATTLE SO THAT SHE MAY BEAT THE LIVING SHIT MONKEYS OUT OF SHAMPOO! (glows with brilliance)

Luna: (turns into a human) Kick ass!

Shampoo: Luna very pretty as human!

Luna: Shampoo use very bad grammar as human...but I really don't mind!

Shampoo: Luna has insulted Shampoo's grammar! Now Luna must die!

Luna: Oh, yeah, I'm afraid!

Super Sailor Moon: GOOOOOOOO LUNA!

Hermione: That REALLY shoots the hell out of the "No taking sides" rule!

Bulma: Yep!

Shampoo: (takes a swing at Luna, but she misses)

Luna: HA! Nice shot!

Shampoo: (glares at Luna and pulls a giant spatula out of her pocket)

Luna: HUH?

Super Sailor Moon: **GASP** That's Ukyou's spatula!

Hermione and Bulma: **GASP**

Super Sailor Moon: GOOOOOOOOOOOO LUNA! WAHOO!

Hermione: ¬_¬ mmm...

Bulma: HEHEHEHEHE!

Luna: (grabs the spatula from Shampoo and beats her senseless with it)

Shampoo: OW! LUNA HURTING SHAMPOO!

Luna: That's the point...

Shampoo: (falls down, unconscious)

Super Sailor Moon: LUNA WINS! YAAAAY!

Hermione: The winner is Luna...

Bulma: As Serena just said...

Super Sailor Moon: Now, our next and last battle is...the one with ME in it!

Hermione: Ehh...it's also known as "The Battle of The Sexes"

Bulma: Oooor...The Sailor Scouts VS The Ginyu Force!

Super Sailor Moon: (jumps down into the ring)

Sailor Mars, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Venus: (enter)

Jeice, Berter, Ginyu, Guldo, and Recoome: (enter)

Sailor Venus: HEY! Red dude! You're cute! Wanna get married?

Jeice: Sure!

Sailor Venus and Jeice: (skip out of the ring and out of the building)

The Sailor Scouts and The Ginyu force: (watch as their two friends skip away)

Sailor Jupiter: Hey! That's not fair! I wanna get married too!

Guldo: I'll marry you!

Sailor Jupiter: Uhhh...no thanks...

Guldo: Aw...**frowns**

Captain Ginyu: Hehhehe...CHAAAAAANGE...

Super Sailor Moon: AHHHH! (jumps out of the way)

Captain Ginyu: Awww...**frowns**

Sailor Mars: Flame Sniper! (aims her attack at Captain Ginyu)

Captain Ginyu: (turns to dust)

Sailor Mars: Well, that takes care of that Body-Changing problem...

Super Sailor Moon: Thanks a bunch, Raye!

Sailor Mars: No problem!

Sailor Mercury: MY TURN! SHINE AQUA ILLUSION! (freezes Guldo and pushes him off the ring) There, he was making me sick with those four eyes...

Sailor Jupiter: Now for Berter...

Berter: Homina...homina...homina...

Sailor Jupiter: I'm just to sexy for my Sailor Fuku, aren't I? Anyway...Supreme Thunder! (throws her thunder disc at Berter)

Berter: (explodes)

Sailor Mars: They're just too dazed by our beauty to fight! Oh well, I guess I'll take advantage of it! Fire Soul!

Recoome: (blocks the flame) I can't be fooled into stupidity by a pretty girl...

Super Sailor Moon: I think it's a little late for that...

Recoome: Though, all four of you are VERY pretty...

Sailor Jupiter: (walks over to Recoome and cuddles him)

Recoome: **blush** uuuhhhhh...

Sailor Jupiter: How about we blow this joint and go be alone together...huh?

Recoome: W-w-whatever you say, Miss...

Sailor Jupiter: (leads Recoome out of the ring and out of the building)

Everyone: (stares at the shut door)

(a girl screaming "Sparkling Wide Pressure!" and a large blast was heard from outside)

Sailor Jupiter: (walks back into the building and into the ring wiping the dust off her hands) Ok, we won!

The Sailor Scouts: (walk out of the ring)

Super Sailor Moon: (goes back to the control tower) (enters the control tower as Serena)

Hermione: Uh...well...looks like that concludes another exciting episode of...

Bulma: (runs to Serena and hugs her tightly)

Bulma and Serena: Celebrity Deathmatch—ANIME STYLE!