Celebrity Deathmatch—Anime Style!: Sports Day
Bulma: Hey everyone! It's Sports Day today on Celebrity Deathmatch—Anime Style!
Serena: Where three different battles will occur—each in the form of a different sport!
Hermione: And the first battle will be a one-on-one basketball shoot-out between Akane, everyone's favorite tomboy, and Vega, everyone's favorite...bloodthirsty...evil...mani...ac...
Bulma: Vega requested this battle herself!
Vega: Die, Akane...DIE!
Hermione: Uh...sorry to burst your bubble, Vega...but the rules of Basketball state that you can't use physical offenses at all in this sport.
Vega: WHAT? NOOOO! WHOEVER MADE THOSE RULES! I'LL KILL EM!
Bulma: **GULP** Uh...but...but...in the CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH game of Basketball...fighting...IS...allowed...don't hurt us...
Vega: That's better!
Janitor: (brings out two hoops and puts them at each end of the ring)
Akane: (brings out a basketball)
Vega: (attacks Akane for a second, and runs toward the opposite hoop with the basketball) AAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!
Akane: Ow...my arm...I'm bleeding...help me...
Vega: MUWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA! (shoots the ball into the hoop) BOOYA!
Akane: Hey...what's booya mean—**BANG** (gets hit in the face with a basketball)
Vega: Woops! Dropped it! (grabs the ball again and makes another basket)
Serena: DAMN YO! Vega is in the lead! 2 to nothing!
Vega: That's because I kick ass at this game! WOOHOO—**BANG** (gets kicked in the face by Akane)
Akane: (steals the ball from Vega) OH YEAH BABY! (runs down the court)
Vega: NOOOO! (runs after Akane) GET BACK HERE YOU # %# !
Akane: (nears the basketball hoop) (shoots the ball)
Ball: (gets intercepted by Kenji)
Serena: And it looks like Kenji Hibiki has intercepted the ball!
Hermione: ...They've figured that part out, I'm sure...
Bulma: Is that legal?
Hermione: Anything is legal in this game...
Kenji: (passes the ball to Joseibi who is now on Vega's side)
Joseibi: WOOHOO! (passes the ball to Vega)
Vega: (catches the ball) (throws it at Akane)
Akane: **BANG** (gets hit in the face with the basketball) (falls unconscious)
Vega: (grabs the basketball and makes a basket just as the timer runs out)
Hermione: And it looks like Vega has won this one people!
Bulma: Did we have any doubt?
Ranma: Our next battle will be a one-on-one—hopefully—game of hockey between Kenji Hibiki and his...(takes a closer look at the paper) SISTER, MATOKO?
Serena: RYOGA HAS A DAUGHTER TOO?
Bulma: Hey...who told Ranma he could announce the next battle!?
Ryoga: It's true! I'm a pimp!
Audience: **GASP** DOOOOOOOOOODDD!
Serena: So who's the mother of this one?
Ryoga: Not sure...
Ukyo: MEEEEE AGAAAAAAIIIN!
Janitor: (takes out the basketball hoops and presses a button)
(a large wave floods the arena and freezes)
Janitor: (brings out two goals and puts them on each side of the ring) (puts a puck in the middle)
Matoko: (comes onto the ice in hockey gear carrying a hockey stick)
Kenji: (does the same)
Luna: Ok...all rules are screwed in this game...so all is valid! PLAY!
Matoko and Kenji: (hit each other madly with the sticks)
Bulma: Umm...you're not supposed to be fighting...you're supposed to be playing hockey...
Matoko and Kenji: (stop) Oh.
Kenji: (grabs the puck quickly with his stick and speeds down the rink)
Matoko: (chases after him)
Kenji: (is going the wrong way)
Matoko: (is going the opposite way of Kenji)
Hermione: ...Why is she going in the other direction?
Serena: Why is HE trying to score a goal for Matoko?
Ryoga: Ah...the Hibiki sense of direction...
Serena, Hermione, and Bulma: Oh...
Ranma: This could be interesting...
Matoko: Hey...I'm sposta be going that way! (goes after Kenji in the right direction)
Kenji: (skates toward his sister)
Matoko: HEY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING-**BANG**
Kenji and Matoko: (collide)
Matoko: (takes the puck and skates toward her own goal)
Serena: (smacks her forehead) this could take awhile...
Kenji: I have to chase her then...(skates out of the ring and goes to China)
Matoko: (stops) (is confused)
Hermione: Well...I guess that means Kenji has forfeited...
Bulma: That means Matoko wins...
Joseibi: Well that was sure interesting...Mah Kenji's in China...
Serena: Hey...how do you know where he went?
Joseibi: It's written up there...
Hermione: Up where? Where are you people talking about?
Everyone: (is silent as they ponder what the hell this all means)
Serena: Llllllllleeeet's move on...
Hermione: Our next game/battle will be another one that Vega suggested herself...
Bulma: It is Vega VS Ryoga in a swimming race!
Janitor: (presses another button, and the ice melts to form a nice pool)
Ryoga and Vega: (jump in and swim to the starting line)
Joseibi: On your marks...get set...GO!
Ryoga and Vega: (swim as fast as they can)
Ryoga: (is ahead of Vega)
Vega: Grrrr...(swims over to Ryoga and grabs his head)
Ryoga: Hey what the—BLLLRRRRBBLLLBBBB! (gets pulled under water and held there by Vega)
(ten full minutes later)
Vega: (lets go of Ryoga)
Ryoga: (floats to the top of the water) (is motionless)
Vega: (swims to the finish-line) I WIN AGAIN!
Ryoga: (is still floating in the ring)
Janitor: (drains the ring and sweeps Ryoga away)
Vega: (attacks the Janitor)
Bulma: HEY WHAT IS SHE DOING!?
Serena: I don't know...but the audience wants to see...
Janitor: (runs away)
Vega: (presses the button and makes the pool again)
Serena: Hmmm...maybe she wants to go for a swim?
Hermione: I doubt it...
Vega: (runs up to the Digimon section of the audience and picks up all the Digimon characters) (starts chucking them into the pool, one by one)
Digimon Characters: AAAAHHHHH! BBBBLLLLLRRRRRRBBBLLLLLL! (drown)
Matt: HAHA I CAN SWIM! (swims)
Vega: (jumps into the pool) (grabs Matt's head and holds him underwater)
Matt: MMMMBBBLLLLLRRRRRBBBBLLLLLL! (drowns)
Vega: (drains the pool and sweeps all the Digimon characters away with a large smile on her face)
Hermione: Well...we should end this episode before more people get seriously injured...
Serena: Yeah...bye everyone.