Ok, so this is the sequel to Sorek 2. If you haven't already, I suggest that you read the first two in the series.
I own nothing.
On with the parody!
It was thundering one night, and this was the night that the gallant Prince Riku was finally going to save his queen. "Onward, Chauncey!" he cried, determined, as he brandished his sword. "To the highest room of the tallest tower, where my princess awaits rescue from her handsom Prince Riku!"
In reality, Chauncey was hobby horse, the thunder was special effects, and Riku was performing at a dinner theater.
"Ew," Demyx commented. He, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, and Zeke were waiting for their food to arrive and were watching. They all absolutely hated it. "This is worse than 'Love Letters.'. I hate dinner theater!"
"Me, too," Pinocchio agreed-but then his nose grew.
"Whoa, there, Chauncey!" Riku cried as the light shined on the cardboard tower, and a "Princess" came into view.
"Hark!" she cried, overdramatic and sucking really badly, as Riku dropped Chauncey. "The brave Prince Riku approacheth."
"Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you and then take my place as rightful king," he promised
"What did she say?" and old woman croaked. Riku, upon hearing that, scowled, and then looked over as an ogre costume-made to look like Sora, unsurprisingly-hobbled onstage. The crowd cheered as a girl cried, "It's Sora!"
"Whoo, Sora, yeah!" Demyx cheered as he and his friends applauded. Riku became infuriated, and declared, "Prepare, foul beast, to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar!"
"Happy birthday to thee, happy birthday to thee," a waiter sang, catching Riku's attention.
"Do you mind?" he practically shrieked. A table was flung at him, and Demyx smirked at his handiwork while mocking, "Do you mind? Boring!" The whole crowd laughed at the former prince, including the princess, who accidentally hit the tower.
Riku coughed, composing himself, before trying again, "Prepare, foul beast-"
And then the tower fell on him.
Oh, don't get your panties in a twist. The window landed right where he was, so he wasn't hurt. He stood up and dusted himself off, then glared out at the laughing crowd. "Someday you'll be sorry," he warned them, pointing his bent sword at them.
"We already are!" a man cried out. Riku, shocked, flung his sword away, grabbed Chauncey, and stalked offstage. He set Chauncey in his proper place and continued on his way. He flung open the door, walked into his make-up room (the alleyway with a perfect view of the castle) and sat down with a mix of a sigh and a groan in front of his vanity. He started to sob into his hand, not believing the way his life turned out. He looked up to the photo that his mother, the late Fairy Larxene, signed, and cried, "Mommy…"
Don't stop believing!
-Mommy's little angel
Her voice rang in his ears, repeating over and over again. He wiped his tears away and muttered, "You're right. I can't let this happen. I can't!"
Riku turned towards the castle and cried, standing up, "I am the rightful king of Far Far Away. And I promise you this, Mother…I will restore dignity to my throne." A newspaper hit him in the face, and he peeled it off-along with a few silver hairs-and growled, glaring, "And this time, no one will stand in my way." Sora and Naminé just smiled up at him from the paper before being crumpled up.