5I really love first anime Lust. She didn't have much to keep her going. She didn't have much waiting for her in humanity. Her "life" as a homunculus told her she had no life whatsoever, and no feelings and no humanity- she was made to believe she had nothing. And yet she ended up having more humanity than many of the true humans, and she found strength in herself.
I suppose this is the closest I'm going to get to a holiday related story? Well get in the hopeful season with this or whatever. :-)
Warnings: May be considered religious. I don't think it is, I just put it under spiritual category because of all the spiritual motifs but I don't think it's necessarily religious.
Over the half ruined city of Liore, Lust is standing on the balcony of a broken temple, watching what some people will do for satisfaction, watching what could be her world, watching some of her possibilities.
If any of the people below could see into her mind, she doubted any of them would truly be able to listen to its workings. And that is probably better for her- giving away her plans will only keep her down.
But being connected to others is something she knows could, depending on who, help her. Lust sees the people who are humans, literally looks at them below her gaze aiming and shooting and exerting their false power over those who cannot stop it. If that's humanity, then what is she?
It could be a cruel twist of fate, how Lust has more so-called humanity than allowed; how she has more desire to do and have and be something better, purer, kinder, more complete than now. After all, Lust knows how cruel life can be. She's been that way of life, and life has been so to her. It never gave her any chances.
And somehow she's found one. Maybe, she understands, she will never truly have what she needs, but now she is unbound by obligation and she is her own and she will stop at nothing to find her peace. However this has been allowed to happen, it is hard to truly say.
But Lust has seen the worst of humanity, and that gives her the ability to see the best. It means nothing to the world, but it still means just a little something to her, seeing the people of Liore hoping for safety even when their hopes will not be granted. It means something, when she sees some of the people, rising from the ruins of their life and land, finding refuge in themselves in a world that will never care about them. It means something that there was once someone loved enough that she was wanted by others to stay after their earthly welcome, even though she was foolishly brought back. And no matter what she has been told, it means a lot that this woman was once her.
Even though she isn't really now. But she is somebody. Maybe one day she will have all she's ever imagined.
Lust looks up, turns her head from the wartorn land below, and sees a star above her. It is small but it does not waver as it shines its pale light and watches over.
Lust has found that sort of guide against all reason. Against everything in her way, she's watching over her own world and her own life and she knows that as long as this is true she will never really fade.
There is no logical reason for Lust to have hope. But she figures, since her journey should logically not be happening in comparison to her life, and if she is this far, if she's close enough to making the stone and walking away once and for all, and walking to what lies ahead for her- if she's found something inside of her that was not supposed to be in there, something better, something that is her- that is reason enough for hope. Even amidst loss and ruin and her past, she has found her reasons.
She has not seen many in her life.
But the miracles Lust has found are enough to make her believe in them.