I don't own anything. This chapter is a compilation of review suggestions...I enjoyed writing it. Now, let us see what happens when we mix three or four reader-ideas together, hm?
Sorry for the long wait! I tried to make this one longer. I ended up with a chapter chock-full of crack... see what your suggestions have DONE?
...I love it. Continue doing so.
Kuri snickered. Then, she started to chuckle. The chuckle grew into cackle, and then she burst out laughing in a way that closely resembled the way Road laughed after she pierced Allen's left eye with a candle and licked the blood off of it in episode eleven. She held her stomach because she was laughing so much and eventually she fell to the ground laughing.
"Hello, readers!" said Jade with a wave. Julia stood next to her. They faced the... camera?
"Here's what you missed inbetween the last chapter and this one." Jade continued. "Toph took a spin on the wheel, and somehow it landed on Tyki Mikk. Obviously, they refused to finish that turn. Which is totally understandable, especially on Toph's part; Tyki's waaaay older than her! So Kuri decided to only punish him. Don't ask me how that logic works out."
Julia pointed to a room on the left. "For his penalty challenge, Kuri put him in a locked room over there, where he was forced to watch these really weird videos called... what was it called? Hentai videos?"
"Ew." Julia shuddered. "Her plan was to make him lose a whole lot of blood from a nosebleed, so he'd pass out. According to her, his punishment should be finished soon."
They looked over at Kuri. Jade explained, "She figured it'd be really painful to lose all that blood through his nose, so she's kind of gone cuckoo from excess sadism, if you know what I mean."
Julia smirked. "What do you mean, gone cuckoo? She's been cuckoo!"
"Ah, the videos must all be done." said Kuri, suddenly regaining her composure. She got up off of the floor and walked over to the doorway, where Tyki should have passed out in the room by that time.
The rest of the anime and cartoon characters crept up tentatively behind her. As she reached for the doornob, they braced themselves for the aftermath of the bloodbath they were about to see.
"Oh my god!" screamed Lenalee. They all looked down and found that blood was seeping out from underneath the door.
Kuri shrugged. "I half expected that." She opened the door.
A virtual explosion of blood burst forward from the room. It flooded the auditorium, knocking Kuri and everyone standing behind her off of their feet. It flowed into every nook and cranny, and when it finally stopped flowing, everyone found that they could stand in it at about knee depth.
"Ugghh... this is disgusting!" groaned Mint.
Taruto floated above everyone. "Never have I been happier to be able to fly." he commented. Kish and Pai nodded in agreement.
"It's…not…that disgusting…" Lenalee told herself, although she seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating, "…it's just like my Boots of Blood…yeah, that's it…" She looked like she was about to vomit.
Tyki's body came floating out of the room. His face was deathly pale, and he was unconscious, just as Kuri said he would be.
"Not only is this completely gross, but, how is this even happening?" asked Sokka. "It's a scientific impossibility!'
Pai scoffed. "That's typical human thinking. You obviously aren't educated enough to realize that the average Japanese anime character has around fourty-five hundred gallons of blood running through their veins, so obviously this would be more than possible. It would be odd if it didn't happen, unless he was utterly disgusted by hentai, which is rare in even the most innocent or controlled males-"
"IT IS TIME!"
The ground shook as Kuri used her loud-boomy-voice...thingy...to interrupt Pai.
Kish covered his ears in pain. "HOLY CRAP!" he shouted. "LOUD!"
Taruto did the same. "COULD YOU GIVE US A LITTLE WARNING NEXT TIME BEFORE YOU BLAST OFF OUR EARS?"
Pudding tapped on Taruto's shoulder. "Why are you shouting na no da?"
"WHAT?" both aliens asked. It became evident that the two had lost their hearing. Pai, who was also covering his ears, seemed to have lost his as well.
Kuri smiled unapologeticallly. "Sorry, heh heh! I just figured I'd tell you guys that IT IS TIME for a change in point of view for this chapter!" She looked to her audience. "I will choose the person..."
She pointed to Taruto. "YOUUUUUUU!"
I blinked. What did she mean by, "a change in point of view"? I mean, that what I think she said... I still couldn't hear anything very well. In fact, the only reason I heard Kuri was because she had used her loud boomy voice.
Oh well. It's probably nothing.
The old hag was sobbing again. Apparently, Kuri had found what looked like an... Aoyama voodoo doll? I have to admit, thinking about what the tan-jerk is doing right now (probably doubling over in pain) is kind of amusing. I chuckled.
The ponytail kid is trying to tell me something now, I think. Er, I mean Sokka is. What is he saying? I see his mouth moving but no words are coming out.
"What did you say?" I ask him. But, for some reason, I can't hear my own voice. So I shout, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Sokka flinches when I shout. He says something back, angrily, but I still can't hear him. So I shrug and walk away.
What? It's his fault for not speaking up.
Kuri runs through some more contestants. She also spins the wheel herself, and forces a smooch on Kish, even though it landed on someone else. Hah hah. Then she makes some of the girls spin again. Some much for following the rules she set up... now that I think about it, where did those signs from chapter three go anyway? The walls are blank again...
"PUDDING! SAID! YOU HAVE! SNOW! IN! YOUR! HAIR! NA NO DA!"
I jumped. Ow! Pudding screamed in my ear! And... oh, wait, I can hear again now. People are talking.
Wait a minute... what did Pudding say?
I felt my head. It was wet with snow.
Kuri looked upwards. "Oh, my... it seems we've lost the roof."
Everyone in the room looked up. Just as she said, the roof was missing. And, now, it was snowing out.
"This is just weird-"
"STOOOOOOP!" Kuri boomed. She smiled. "Now it is time for third person view, again, and a change in setting!"
(Where is this chapter going? It keeps jumping around...)
The occupants of the auditorium found themselves on what looked like a... beach?
Yes, definitely a beach. White, sandy coastline met with clear blue water. Palm trees dotted along here and there. It was like a hotel resort or something.
Kuri snorted. "I love the snow, but this was a suggestion I couldn't help but pass up."
Jade smiled. "My idea! But aren't you forgetting something?" She pointed the calendar that was still drawn on Aang's head. (Where did Sokka get the marker?)
This made the elf-like girl snap her fingers. "Of course! It's supposed to be Christmas at the beach!" With that said, the palm trees were then hung with Christmas tree lights and a snowman made of un-meltable snow graced the shore.
"Better?" she asked.
"Don't forget the Hetalia characters!" said Jade.
"The who now?" asked Kukai.
In answer to his question, a young man with reddish-brown hair that seemed to be in his twenties came running up to them screaming, "Doitsu, doitsu, I got another crab stuck in my hair!"
They stared at him confusedly. For some reason, the young man wasn't wearing swim trunks, strangely just a pair of boxers, and his long-sleeved shirt (at the BEACH?) was only buttoned by the top two buttons. His eyes were closed and he had a long, curled strand of hair sticking out from the side of his head. The oddest part was, he had been telling the truth: a crab was really nested in his hair.
He looked at them with equal confusion. "Wh-Who are you?" he asked, suddenly forgetting the crab. "You're not Germany... or Japan! And none of you are America, Russia, China, France nii-chan, or England! And there's so many of you!"
He waited for a responce, but got none.
"And there are girls here!" he shouted. "Oh no! I'm not wearing my pants!"
Then he studied Kuri for a moment. "Wait a minute... blonde hair... purple eyes..."
He looked at Julia. "Brown hair... blue eyes..."
A look of realization(?) appeared on his face. "Oh, I get it now!" he looked around for a moment. "Germany! Japan! Where are you? Guess what! The allies turned gay and colonized the island! I can tell because their kids are here!"
He started rambling off more nonsense to his...friends... who seemed to be nowhere. Ikuto elbowed Kuri in the side.
"Who is that strange boy that's calling out country names? And why is he talking about nations like they were... apparently gay people?"
Kuri sighed while smiling. "That's Italia Veneciano, but you can call him Italy. He's not a boy, he's a twenty-one year old man, who acts like a little kid sometimes, and is really adorable... he's talking about his friends, Germany and Japan. The other countries he mentioned are currently at war with him. They're all from this show called Hetalia, where countries are portrayed as people. As for the gayness, well, you can blame the fangirls for that one. Plus he has a pretty vivid imagination."
Two more men came walking up to Italy. One was a short, decidedly Japanese-looking man with jet black hair and dull brown eyes. The other was tall with blond hair that was slicked back aginst his head and had blue eyes.
"Italy, what on Earth are you talking about?" asked the blond man. He had a stern-looking face, however there was something about it that hinted he was capable of being gentle as well.
The black haired man with the dull eyes smiled quietly at Italy. He said, "I also must ask, Italia-kun, what you mean by the strange things you said about... ehem... the Allies and their colonization of the island. Isn't it impossible for them to do "such things" if they are all male?"
Italy smiled happily at the two of them. "They colonized the island! Don't you see their children over there?" He pointed the Spin the Bottle! group. "It's amazing, isn't it? How fast countries grow up these days! I remember it took me a few hundred years to get around their sizes, but the allies have only been here with us for a few weeks! I didn't even know it was possible for countires to be born that fast, when babies usually take nine months to develop!"
Italy gasped. "Unless... they were all premature!" He started sobbing out of sympathy for them.
This made the blond haired man, along with most of the cast of the other animes, shake their heads in disbelief at the young man's...well...ignorance.
"And Japan," he said the the dull-eyed one, "of course it's possible! China can bear children... right?"
Japan coughed. "Although China-san does seem to be remarkable effeminate, I can assure you that he is male, and cannot... do that."
Kuri spoke up. "Excuse me?"
The three looked over at her. She nodded at them.
"Hey there. Yeah, we're not the Allies kids, or anything like that. We're from a fanfiction... that you've probably never heard of. We're just gonna be here for the holidays and stuff. Hope you don't mind?"
The tall blond shook his head. "Not at all. I thought this was a deserted island? And... you wouldn't happen to know a way back to society would you?"
Julia grinned. "Of course we do! But you'll find it later. After all, this "deserted island" is actually Seychelles..."
"What?" they asked.
"Oh, nothing!" chirped Jade.
Kuri turned to the group of anime and cartoon characters. "The black haired one is Japan, if you haven't figured it out, and the blond one is Germany. They're the Axis Powers, but don't turn against them just yet. The "evil" ones are their current bosses, and the actual nations are actually quite friendly."
"Based on what we've experienced up to this point I can't say I'm surprised or even mildly disoriented." said Rima.
They spent the next few hours hanging around with the trio of countries. It was a nice change from the hectic, usually painful activities they had been preforming since chapter one of the first story.
Then Tadase got hit in the head with a coconut.
"Ow!" he yelped. Amu rushed to his side to see if he was okay, only to find that Kukai had thrown it at him. The middle schooler was smirking at them and bouncing a second coconut in his hand.
"You were supposed to catch it." he explained.
Tadase was about to throw the first coconut back at Kukai when someone shouted,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S FEBRUARY?"
Kuri was standing near the shoreline, fuming. Sokka shrugged in response to her question.
"I kind of forgot to keep track of the days... so, yeah, now it's February." he said. "The 13th, to be exact."
Kuri cracked her knuckles in her anxiety.
"We missed New Year's, and Ground Hog's day..." she mumbled, "...and, oh gosh, the Superbowl! Dang it, I was gonna throw a football at Mint's head!"
Jade held up a soccer/football. "Football?" she repeated.
"No, an American football!" replied Kuri. She tried to explain, "Sorry, I'm an American... I don't mean, uh, well it's not a soccer ball, I mean a...wait a minute, ahh, GYAH! I hate the fact that America mixed up all the names!"
"Did somebody say AMERICA?"
A blond teenager hopped down from the trees in front of them.
Italy screamed. "Oh no, it's America!" He hid behind Germany. "Doitsu, protect me! I don't wanna dieeee!"
"America" smirked triumphantly. "Yes, that's right! I'm awesome! Don't forget it! Now, for the grand opening..."
He pumped his fist into the air. Like a boss- I mean hero.
The bushes nearby shook a little bit. Then, another blond man who was slightly older than America popped his head out.
"I told you I'm not appearing on que, America." he said grumpily. "This isn't one of your comic books." He had green eyes and large bushy eyebrows that were strangely black colored, even though he was clearly a natural blond, not a black haired person... or was it the other way around?
He climbed out and walked over next to America anyway. Then two more men came out behind him. They were also both blond. One was tall, with a light pink scarf wrapped around his neck (again, on the BEACH?) and the other with long, silky hair that clearly was well taken care of.
A woman also came out of the bushes, but when she saw that she was being stared at by all of the males on the beach (there were a lot, with the STB group there) she promptly declared, "I'm a guy aru! Get it into your thick western skulls aru!" it turned out that she was actually male and many nosebleeds were quickly stopped. But not all...
"You can't seriously think it's my fault everyone else in the world has the whole, "soccer or football" thing mixed up." said America to Kuri. "I mean, they're not exactly in their primes right now... Japan and China have a bunch of back problems, France is old enough to be a country's freaking grandfather, and Iggy's got to be at least as old as dirt by now. I think they've gone senile in their old ages."
Nagihiko poked Rima in the side. "Is he an idiot, or have I just lost my marbles and can't hear anything correctly?" he asked. His grin and the chara change headphones around his neck said he was clearly joking, and was attempting to get Rima to laugh.
Rima was not amused at his FAILURE at proper humor (it be serious business) and smiled at him, sweetly replying, "Probably both."
Nagi was sad.
The male with the well-kept hair was found in a body sized crater sometime later. As it turns out, he was France, and had attempted to molest Allen (he's not gay, he's bi...probably...) and was whacked upside the head by Julia in fit of rage. Then Julia smashed him into the ground a few times with her enlargened mallet.
The tall one was Russia. He was constantly smiling, and despite his massive height and bulk he had a very cute face, like a teddy bear. However, he seemed to be as tall and wide and solid as a brick wall. It wasn't fat, you could never say he was fat... no, his bones were just HUGE. Like an elephant's. The weirdest thing about him was that the more he smiled, and the sweeter the smile was, the more creeped out everyone else got. It felt like there was this massive aura of impending doom that you felt whenever you got near him.
Strangely enough, (or not), Kuri found this attractive.
AND NOW IT IS VALENTINE'S DAY. (Time skip~...?)
"Guess what guys?" asked Kuri. "Since today is Valentine's day, the day of love and romance, can you guess what we're going to be doing?"
Mint sighed. "Let me guess, we'll be playing a bigger game of spin the bottle, right? With more gushy romance with people we don't like? And the girls will give chocolates to the boys they do or do not have crushes on, as Japanese custom states?"
Kuri laughed. "Ha ha! NO! I hate Valentine's Day. So, we'll be having a mini war! To the death!"
They stared at her. Little cricket noises came from Lavi, who had somehow managed to make the noise with his mouth.
"A play-war, I mean." she explained quickly. "With play deaths. If you're hit in a vulnerable area, you lay down and "die". Better?"
Most of them nodded. The countries, however, strongly disagreed.
"No way in Hell!" said England. "War isn't good for anything, you little prat!"
America on the other hand was with Kuri. "I love war games!" he stated. "Especially Call of Du-."
"-DON'T." Kuri boomed. "NEVER SAY THAT TITLE IN MY PRESENCE. EVAR." She fingered the Triforce earings that decorated her earlobes. They were clip-ons, actually. Because Kuri refuses to pierce her ears. Needles hurt!
Julia was already wearing her armor. Her mallet was enlarged and ready to smash. Jade, with her face covered in war paint, excitedly turned on her tazer and set it to "stun". After all, no actual casualties were allowed.
They split into two teams, with Kuri heading one side and Julia heading the other. Jade, being the most recent member of the trio of fangirls, was the second-in-command of Julia's team.
"Begin!" shouted Kuri.
And so, the "battle" raged on. The soldiers faught with wooden swords and coconut bombs. Somehow, Kuri ended up attacking everyone on her own team.
"WE'RE ON YOUR SIDE!" they cried.
Kuri simply laughed triumphantly and declared, "Yes, but I was a spy!"
(Azumanga Daioh reference... if you were wondering xp)
Soon, only Kuri and Jade were left standing. Somehow, Jade had accidentally mistaken Julia for Kish and tazered her, (they both wear a lot of green, after all...) and so it came down to those two.
"I may have only a broken wooden sword and a burnt shield," said Kuri, "but I will never give in!"
Jade smiled. "Okay, but you'd be at less of a disadvantage if you hadn't killed your own teammates, you know."
The injured boys from Kuri's squadron groaned in agreement.
It was fierce final fight, but eventually Jade got a splinter and they had to call a time out. Then it was decided that, due to the great number of "casualties" on both sides, they war would end in a solid truce. Russia smiled, and the rest of the cast was very afraid.
"Is that all?" asked Italy.
Kuri nodded. "Yep. We're gonna leave now..."
They left through the portal, but it stayed open for a while because Kuri had to explain to the nations that they were not on a deserted island but infact in the home of Seychelles, who was sitting in the bushes wondering what they were doing there.
And that continues the game! Almost done.
See you guys next time! [insert super awesome emoticon here]
This chapter is like a sugar rush. You read it, and it goes by fast because it's fun, but then when it ends you feel slow and empty inside, like it never happened.
I love making people feel like that ^^.
I'm so sorry.
Don't eat me, evil zombie penguins~~~
Suggestions, please! I'm writing for you. My other plot bunnies for different stories are currently fighting a death match to get written first, so don't hate me if I take a while on this. Bye!