Please note this is set after season 4 episode 6 so you won't understand what going on if you haven't seen the episode yet. Let me know if you want to hear more of the story I have planned and I'll try to get more up as soon as possible. If I continue the story it will have adult themes, just none in the first few chapters most likely.
Becker sat staring at the same gun he'd cleaned twice already. After a very quiet car ride back to the ARC, he and Jess had just spent the last two hours debriefing Lester on the little bomb incident at Ethen's hideout. A great deal of that had been dealing with Lester's sarcastic barbs on going into a dangerous situation without proper backup. The fact that Jess had brilliantly saved the day helped their situation a little, still Lester pointed out that she shouldn't have been in the field.
He's right a part of Becker's mind said. He'd nearly gotten Jess killed because he didn't send her home after she'd shown up. Becker tried to forget the close call, and how it had felt to hold Jess for the few moments after she thrown her arms around his neck in relief, or how soft her hair had been in his hands. Becker shook the memory from his mind before it could go any further and started cleaning the nearest gun, only to realize it was the same gun. He threw the rag down in disgust and ran his fingers threw his short hair with a groan. Putting the guns away gave him the opportunity to slam the cabinet doors closed with helped his mood a bit, but not completely. He leaned on the back of the nearest chair and rubbed a hand over his face. He needed to hit something else. Maybe it would help him forget just how scared he had felt when Jess pulled the cover off the bomb and then refused to leave.
The gym was quiet. There was just enough light to illuminate the punching bag in the corner, which looked like a promising solution to his rising aggression level. Soon the sounds of fists pounding against leather echoed in quiet halls of the ARC. His emotions boiled to the surface as he pounded away at the hard leather bag. He'd been so close to failing, and he had the feeling if he lost Jess it would be far worse than all the other's put together. He'd begged her to leave, well as close to begging as he would ever get, but she was too stubborn. It was his job to risk his life, not hers. He hit the bag as hard as he could, making it swing as far as the chain would allow. He hit it over and over, ignoring the shockwaves rippling up his already fatigued arms.
"Becker?" He spun around towards the voice only to be smacked in the side as the bag came swinging back his way.
"Ow," he groaned rubbing his shoulder. He hadn't noticed until now just how sore it was from keeping the counter weight from hitting the floor until now. Jess winced.
"Sorry," She paused, "I seem to be saying that to you a lot lately." Becker shrugged and hit the bag again. Just seeing Jess here was enough to bring back the memories from the warehouse. He hated that he'd been stupid enough to walk into a trap that should have been so obvious. He'd gone back over the CCTV footage and realized that Ethan had looked right at the camera. The bastard had actually smiled! Taunting him! Becker threw another punch.
"What?" He said turning around quickly, realizing that he had completely tuned her out while raging away in his head.
"Your hands are bleeding." She said pointing to his balled up fists. Becker looked at his hands in shock to see that she was right, he'd pounded the bag so hard that his knuckles had split. Blood was dripping onto the wrestling mat beneath his feet.
"Becker?" He felt her hand on him arm and realized he'd been staring at the spot on the punching bag that was smeared with his blood. Jess lead him over to the bench he had set his water and towels on and pushed him down. He sat with a soft thud while Jess straddled the bench next to him and started cleaning his hands with the supplies from the med kit she must have pulled out when he'd been off in his own world. After a minute Becker looked over at Jess, who had her head bent over his hand intent on her task. She was to gentle and compassionate to be in the field. Becker frowned as images of her standing next to the bomb meant to obliterate the building rushed into his head.
"You should have left." Becker said curtly when she reached for a piece of gauze. Jess looked up at him her eyes going wide in surprise and confusion. Becker stood and walked back towards the punching bag that was still swinging slightly.
"When?" Jess asked edging closer like she'd seen Abby do with agitated animals in the menagerie. Becker had turned his attention back to the bag and wouldn't look at her.
"When I told you to leave," Becker said punching the bag again, "next time follow my orders." Jess waited until the chains had stopped jingling to reply.
"I'm not one of your soldiers Becker." She said and winced when Becker hit the bag again even harder than before.
"Then stay in the ARC next time!" He shouted advancing a step. Surprised Jess stumbled back encumbered by her heels, nearly falling before she caught herself. Becker stopped immediately regretting his harsh tone.
"Bloody hell, Jess. I'm sorry." He looked at the floor not wanting to see the fear in her eyes that he knew was there. He felt Jess carefully take his hand and lead him back to the bench. They sat in silence while Jess disinfected and wrapped his hands. After his blood stained hands had been seen to Jess got up to return the med kit to the shelf behind them.
"I don't think I can lose anyone else Jess," he said quietly. Instantly regretting actually saying the words out loud, he dropped his head not wanting her to see the vulnerability in his eyes. Part of him hoped she hadn't heard him and would think he was just bowing his head in exhaustion. Another part wanted her to see right through him. Her heels tapped on the cement behind him and slowly her arms wrapped around his neck in silent support. They stayed like that for a moment, just enjoying the sensation of being that close.
"Go home and get some rest," she whispered in his ear, the warmth of her breath tickling his ear. "You look exhausted."
Becker looked up at her and realized that she had heard his confession, but was pretending she hadn't.
"Jess," he said as he turned on the bench to face her. His eyes were drawn to the point near her stomach where she fiddled with the long necklace she must have put on before the video conference wedding. Becker frowned as he saw fading blue marks on her small wrists, just barely peeking out from under her security bracelet.
"Where did you get that bruise Jess?" He asked carefully taking her hand to better see the mark. Jess quickly drew her hand out of reach and used it to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"I must have bumped it when I thought I'd set off the bomb." She said, not meeting his gaze. She started gathering her things, which Becker hadn't even realized were there. Her bright purple phone rang as she reached for it and Becker could have sworn she looked frightened as she stared at the number on the caller I.D.
"You alright Jess," He asked, a little disconcerted at the feelings washing over him. He reached for the phone not really sure what he was going to do, but needing to wipe the fear from her face. Jess was faster. She had the phone safely tucked into her purse faster than he would have thought she could move.
"I'm fine," she said, "I should get home before Conner and Abby decide to send a search party after me." She said a small smile playing at her lips, inviting him to join her in the joke, and started towards the door. She turned back after a few feet and quickly pressed her lips against his cheek.
"Goodnight," She said and walked out the door, leaving Becker standing alone in the darkened gym.