EEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEE!
"Move! Move!" Booth shouted, Temperance at his heels, as they raced towards the exit. All around them, sirens were blaring, lights were spinning, and the few remaining people in the Jeffersonian were trying to figure out what was going on.
"Everyone calm down!" Cam was instructing, though to who no one was sure. The only people left in the Jeffersonian at this point were the usual suspects: Jack Hodgins, who was quick to claim he had nothing to do with this; Angela Montenegro, Hodgins' wife who was suspicious Hodgins WAS the cause of this; Lance Sweets, emerging from a utility closet with squintern Daisy Wick; the only odd duck was the unlucky writer Kevin Allen, who had once again been dragged into a case and was now sulking on the platform.
"No!" Booth shouted, slamming his fists against the heavy glass that now separated him from sweet, sweet freedom. "NO!"
"It's no use Booth, that door will never open." Temperance shook her head. "It is better if we focus on the cause of the alarms, thus allowing us to correct it and leave."
Booth stared at the doors...and hit them again.
Everyone froze as Booth let out his cry.
"Wow, and I thought Vader's 'NOOOOO!" was annoying," Kevin groused.
"Everyone calm down. It is clear none of us did anything to activate the alarm, so hopefully the doors will open within a few minutes. I suggest we sit down and wait."
Angela frowned. "Sitting isn't what I had in mind, Cam." She made her way to the platform and sat on the steps. "I for one have a hot bubble bath waiting for me at home."
The rest of the group began to make their way towards the platform, sitting down and waiting for the doors to open. 5 minutes went by...then 10...then 15...
"Who is Vader?" Temperance finally asked.
"Huh?" Kevin asked.
"Vader...you said he was as annoying as Booth."
"HEY!" Booth exclaimed.
Kevin looked at Temperance. "Vader...Darth Vader?"
Temperance just blinked.
"Sith Lord. Anakin Skywalker?"
"Jedi? Lightsabers? Star Wars?"
"...Darth Vader is Ronald Reagan?" Temperance questioned.
Kevin turned to the rest of the Jeffersonian team. "Are you people all just asinine or stupid?" When none of them said a word, Kevin stood up and took center stage on the platform. "Since all of you refuse to do your duties, it falls to me." He clasped his hands together. "This...Temperance Brennan...is the story of Star Wars. We'll begin with Episode IV for no good reason. Also, because I love the Family Guy parodies, you all are now the characters"
A Long Time Ago
In a Medical Lab Far, Far Away...
A New Hope
It is a period of civil war. Rebel
spaceships, striking from a hidden
base, have won their first victory
against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies
managed to steal secret plans to
the Empire's ultimate weapon, the
DEATH STAR, an armored space
station with enough power to destroy
an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister
agents, Prince Russ races home
aboard his starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save his people
and restore freedom to the galaxy….
The small ship rocked back and forth as it was drawn into the belly of the much larger Star Destroyer. On board, Rebel soldiers were preparing to do battle with the Empire's stormtroopers.
But, sadly, our interest isn't in the very cool and exciting battle we are about to watch. Instead, we get to follow these two idiots...
"That last shot will have done us in, I know it!" The golden assistant droid stated, hurrying along with the blue and white Bug/Slime Analyzing droid.
"Zack, would you kindly shut up!" The B/S droid complained.
"I can't help it, Hodgins, I just know we are done for."
"We are not done for. And even if we were, do you think it helps the situation, you saying we are doomed?"
Zack looked down at his companion. "I am merely-"
"Hold on...I'm R2-D2?"
"Yes Hodgins, you are."
"But...but...I'm Han Solo!"
"Jack...even I think you are more like R2."
"Thanks Angela, thanks."
"May I please continue?"
"Hodgins? Hodgins?" Zack called out as he wandered the inner bowels of the ship, having lost his companion. "You were not suppose to wander off. The captain was very clear..."
He paused when he noticed Hodgins standing next to a young man in flowing white robes, the youth placing a disc into the stubby droid's body.
"Now I am stubby?"
"Well, you have been hitting the donuts pretty hard, Hodgins."
"Like you haven't, Booth?"
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you with that bearclaw jammed down your throat!"
In another part of the ship, the captain was finding himself in a very awkward position...namely being held up by his throat.
"Where are the plans you intercepted?"
The captain stared in horror at the black mask that hid his tormentor's face. "We...did not..."
The masked man sighed. "Now...why are you lying to me? I'm trying to be nice, and you treat me with that disrepect? Now I have to kill you. And how am I going to kill him, Stormtroopers?'
"The Max K Science Way!"
"Bones' dad is Darth Vader?"
"is that bad Booth?"
"Not unless you enjoy your father being the worst creature in the entire galaxy."
Russ struggled. He had been caught by the Stormtroopers, just managing to send the two droids down to the planet below before being nabbed. Now he was standing face to face with Max Keenan.
"Hey sport, let us make this quick, ok? You give me the plans you have and I will let you live? Sound good?"
"I don't know what you are talking about..."
"You got plans, Princess Russ, plans-"
"I'm a prince."
"Are you sure?"
Max considered this. "Only one way to be sure. Guards, take her...him...away!"