"Dear God you people take a long time in the bathroom!" Kevin complained, pacing along the platform. "Feels like you've been gone for months!"
"It wasn't that long!" Cam said.
"5 months. It felt like 5 months. I could have written one novel and begun on another novel in the time it took you all to go to the bathroom! And why do you need to keep going to the bathroom, anyway? You haven't drank anything in-"
"Just...get on with the story," Booth said.
It had taken several hours, but finally Temperance and Cam, along with the droids, had made it to Mos Eisle. It was a bad, bad place. Imagine if Columbus, Ohio was filled with aliens instead of fat people.
"You know, U of M rocks," Cam said for no good reason.
"Of course. That is as logical as Ohio State sucking," Temperance stated. The four of them were headed to a bar, filled with colorful aliens that would get their own action figures soon enough.
"Hey! We don't serve their kind here!" The bartender shouted.
Temperance frowned. "You know, that is very racist. While it is understandable that you would feel that way, as racial warfare has existed..."
"We won't serve your kind either if you don't shut up!" The bartender shouted.
Temperance frowned, only to realize that Cam had already made her way into the bar and was talking to a large hairy creature. "Zach, Hodgins, why don't you..."
"Stay with the ship?" Hodgins muttered, wheeling away. "This is so wrong! I swear, it is like there is a conspiracy to keep us out of this story."
"That doesn't seem very logical...we are just two tiny droids."
"There is nothing tiny about Hodgins"
"Cram in Booth."
Cam motioned for Temperance to come over. "I have met the first mate of a ship...I believe she can be of help."
"ROOOARRRRRRRRR!" The large, furry creature roared...before coughing. "Ok, seriously, I need to get this coat off!" The 'creature' threw off her fur, revealing it to be a coat and her to be a slim, half-chinese woman. "And these pumps are killing me." She held out a hand. "Angela, how are ya?"
"Ang, calm down...I'm sure it will be ok."
"Do I look like a furry monster?"
"Well, remember that week you decided to stop shaving..."
"Brennan, sweetie...never mention that again."
Temperance frowned at the scruffy looking man seated at the booth. "The name's Seeley Booth. I'm the captain of the Millennium Falcon. Angela here says you need a ride? Gonna cost ya 10,000 credits"
"The proper way to say that is 'Angela told me you need a ride. It will cost you 10,000 credits'".
Booth blinked. "ok, for that it will now cost you 20,000"
"We could get our own ship for that!"
"And who would pilot it, you?" Booth asked snidely.
Temperance huffed. "Yes me. I am an excellent pilot."
Cam sighed, waving the two off. "20,000 is fine...just now questions asked."
"You got yourself a deal..." Booth trailed off as he noticed just who had stepped into the bare. "Aw crap, it's Neal Caffry."
Caffry, dressed in a nice suit and fetching fedora, smiled as he walked up to Booth's...er...booth. "Hey Booth, how are ya?"
"How do you know about Caffry?"
"I met him and Agent Burke during your last case, Booth...you know, the 5th one you people somehow dragged me into!"
Booth sighed. "What do you want Caffry?"
Caffry shrugged. "Ah, nothing much...just the bounty on your head."
Temperance frowned. "The proper way to say that is "I want the bounty that has been placed on your head". Why do you all refuse to speak correctly?"
Booth responded by shooting Caffry in the face.
"Whoa!" Cam shouted."You shot first!"
"Yeah...so? Why wouldn't it?" Booth asked.
"Damn straight why wouldn't he?"
"I don't get it Booth, why does it matter if the scruffy man shot first?"
"Big debate, Dr. Brennan."
"But why is it a debate Cam?"
"It's nothing...just ignore it and let the kid continue."
Booth, thrilled that he was going to get his cash, lead Temperance, Cam, Angela and the droids back to the ship...
Except something was waiting for them.
Booth hung his head. "Hello Fat Pam."
Fat Pam beamed, running up to him. "I heard you were here and I bought you a new holster for your gun."
"Gee...thanks..." Booth frowned when he saw it had Pam's face on it. "Listen, these nice people need me to smuggle them somewhere..."
Fat Pam glared at Cam and Temperance. "Well...guess you can take them for a ride...they aren't as big and disgusting as me."
"You can say that again," Hodgins muttered.
"What was that?" Pam demanded.
"Nothing!" Hodgins said quickly.
"Well, I'd love to stay and join you in your delusions, but I really need to go. Bye, so long, I killed Neal, bye, so long Kevin!"
Kevin Allen pulled off his Mandalorian helmet, waving. "Bye Booth!"
"YOU'RE BOBA FETT?"
"You are nothing like him!"
Fat Pam looked at Hodgins. "mmm...maybe I should make you my boyfriend!"
"I take it back, I take it back!"