Kurt Hummel still firmly believed he and his boyfriend were in the cliché romantic give-him-a-kiss-before-he-leaves-for-work stage in their relationship. He had been painting the wall and was thinking hard about their relationship, which was no easy feat as the paint fumes were practically intoxicating. Predictably Kurt seemed to have ended up in the 'stereotypical housewife' role. Kurt had been dead set that after graduation he and Puck would move in together so when Puck's uncle found him a great job that required him to move here it meant Kurt wouldn't be living in, say, New York or Hollywood after all. Which Kurt thought he was ok with, but now he wasn't so sure.
Kurt had had to re-paint a section of the kitchen and decided whilst he was at it he might as well paint over the slightly crumbly paint job in the living room. He heard the door slam shut.
"Honey, I'm home."
Kurt continued to move the paint roller up and down the wall and he felt a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist.
"You wouldn't believe what a day I've had" spoke a voice directly into his ear.
"Be careful or I'll get paint on you." Kurt downed the roller and removed his coverall before making his way to the sofa with Puck.
"I kind of wanted to talk to you about something" said Kurt.
"Well I'm the one with a performing arts degree and my boyfriend already has an acting job."
"If you wanted to get a job I'm pretty sure there's an opening at work. It's only one line but if you impress them you could go onto something bigger."
"That sounds fantastic."
"I think it will be good for you to get out of the house and do something."
Kurt reached across and kissed his boyfriend.
"I'd better go and sort out dinner, I've had a chicken in the oven whilst I've been painting."
"Do you want me to help?"
"That's ok, I experienced your culinary skill when you tried to make me a romantic meal."
"The problem wasn't my culinary skill. The man said to buy the lobster live and cook it in boiling water and it…managed to escape."
"So we ended up eating baked beans on toast."
"It was the best I could come up with at such short notice."
"Did you ever find out what happened to your little escapee?"
"I believe he severely injured the neighbour's dog-likely in self-defence mind you" he added in response to Kurt's raised eyebrows.
Susan stepped out of the dressing room. Her blonde hair was straight and cut off just above her shoulders. She wore a black, clean-cut suit over a white shirt, which was tight as to emphasize her chest. However her heels, like her personality, were sensible.
"Katherine this outfit makes me look like a slutty secretary!"
"That's totally what I was going for," replied a woman with a head of bushy ginger curls; Katherine, "What do you think Molly?"
Next to her stood a slightly taller brunette woman. She didn't say anything at first, apparently staring into space, before announcing:
"I think I have a crush on the guy who lives opposite me."
"Is he the one that had a schizophrenic attack?" asked Katherine.
"No, he's the one that got drunk and wrapped his Volkswagen round a tree."
"Oh, he's really cute."
Susan wore a bemused smile through this. In many comedy groups it was one person's role to be the 'straight man', the ordinary person surrounded by crazy characters, and Susan was resigned to the simple fact that this was usually her.
"Molly," said Susan as she carefully wrapped her hair into a bun, "don't you find it ironic that you're a couple's counsellor who can't seem to have a healthy, balanced relationship?"
Molly grinned, "I like bad boys."
"Totally know what you mean."
Susan emerged from the changing room brandishing the suit on a clothes hanger. "I've was thinking maybe we should invite Kurt to one of our little get-togethers. I saw him the other day and he seemed to be doing nothing but housework."
"Susan, you're doing it all wrong," complained Katherine, "you're supposed to say 'speaking of bad boys' and swing the subject over to Kurt's hunk of a boyfriend."
"You know, I'm yet to meet these neighbours you're always going on about" commented Molly.
"Allow us to fill you in over at the food court."
"You know, this isn't really what I had in mind." Kurt looked down at the cafeteria-worker uniform, including black short-sleeved shirt and pair of black shorts he ad described as 'distinctly un-fabulous'.
"Sorry honey, this was the only opening I could find."
"Why is that woman staring at me?"
"Oh, that's Irene Sherman. Anyway, I've got to get back to work, but it was good to see you." Puck dumped his empty tray in front of a despondent Kurt and walked off next to his co-worker Zane. They left the dining room and entered a small room.
"What are you doing here?"
Standing in front of them was a tall, muscled man with neat black hair.
"Would you mind filling me in?" asked Zane.
"This is my neighbour Daniel Derkins."
"I brought I package, I don't know whether either of you could sign for it?"
"I didn't know you did deliveries" said Puck.
"Yeah, my company's branching out" Daniel replied awkwardly.
Zane took the clipboard and signed for it whilst Daniel hefted a large box wrapped in brown paper.
"Hey Zane, could I ask you something? Is it a good idea to work with your spouse?"
Zane scratched the smattering of hairs on his chin. "Well I suppose it might be a bit annoying if you're spending all of your time with this person."
"I don't know what you two are talking about," interjected Daniel, "I love spending time with Suzy. In fact-" He was interrupted by his phone ringing. "Hello, oh hi honey. Sure I could pick that up on the way home from work. OK, but if I'm stopping by the shops on the way home I won't have time to draw you a bath as well. Fine, I'll do all three. I love y-" At this point the connection appeared to be cut off.
"I'd better hurry up and get going then" said Daniel before departing in a hurry. Puck couldn't help but feel his point had been undermined somewhat.
"Bye Irene." Stepping out of the car, Puck glanced back at the scowling woman before stepping towards his house. Kurt had got off work before him so had taken a taxi home.
"Hey honey. Great news, we're now officially moved in."
"Uh Kurt, we've lived here for almost a week now."
"Yes but I've finally finished unpacking the last box."
Puck hung his coat up by the door. "But we only had, like, two boxes. And most of it was your stuff."
Kurt smiled and pulled his boyfriend into a kiss. "Since it's the weekend I've got a brilliant idea," said Kurt "let's have a house party, you know, get to know all the neighbours."
Puck looked doubtful.
Kurt dragged him into the living room. "Oh, come on, can't you just visualise it, We'd have:"
Blue ribbons adorned the top of the walls and silver balloons hung in the corner. Guests milled about in the slightly cramped living room, where the lights we're dimmed, and made conversation with the familiar faces they saw every day. Kurt emerged from the dining room in a grey dinner jacket and blue bowtie, with a tray of drinks perched on one hand. He then proceeded to flit from guest to guest offering finger food and glasses of champagne.
"Will you be doing that all night?"
"Puck, I'm a social butterfly, this is what I do. Now come on, you should be mingling." Kurt regarded Puck critically. "You could have at least worn something smart."
Puck looked down at the offending items of clothing; a wife-beater vest and pair of jeans. "They don't have any holes in or anything."
"Well I hope you're not planning on going to work looking like that, I want my boyfriend to look proper."
"You already sound like one of the Willow Lane girls" came the voice of Susan from behind Kurt. "I must say this party is pretty impressive, well done. I'm assuming it came from the organisational hand of Kurt, no offense ."
"None taken" Puck replied as he tried to slip into the crowd and mingle, or at least escape Kurt's abrasive attitude.
"You might want to put the drinks tray down Kurt. Molly Walker from down the street has decided she's going to be your friend, so I thought I should warn you."
"What do you mean-"
Suddenly a brunette woman emerged from the crowd and grabbed him by the wrist.
"You must be Kurt Hummel, I've heard so much about you." The woman, Molly, dragged him over to a group of fold out chairs in the corner where Katherine was already sitting, with Susan at their heels.
Kurt grinned. "Is this The Housewives of Willow Lane?"
The girl looked at one another. "Actually, I'm the only one who's married," informed Susan "these two are single".
Molly coughed. "Actually, I've managed to snag a boyfriend now."
"The guy who wrapped a Volkswagen around a tree?" asked Katherine.
"OK fine, I admit it, I like dysfunctional guys. That's probably why I became a couple's counsellor."
"Kurt frowned. "You're a couple's counsellor who can't hold down a boyfrie-"
"Yes, that point's already been made."
Katherine decided to interject, "It's a shame about your boyfriend though. All the cute guys are either married or gay."
"Actually Puck's bisexual."
Katherine abruptly stood up from her chair. "Challenge accepted." She then marched out into the crowd.
Kurt watched her with a worried expression. "Is she always like that?"
"I wouldn't worry. When she first met Daniel I think she got a crush on him. Ended up spending all her time around us."
Molly noticed this didn't make him any less worried. Susan continued talking, since no-one else seemed to be offering an alternative. "Me and Daniel first started dating in high school, and we've been married for a couple of years. Anyway, we've all told you about our relationships, now you have to tell us about you and your boyfriend."
"Well we also met in high school; we were both in the school's Glee club." Kurt smiled as he remembered Mercedes and Finn and , and all the other. "It wasn't exactly a match made in heaven, to be honest. Our Glee club was used to ridiculous amounts of relationship drama and it was still pretty bad by those standards, but we got through t. After high school I went to a performing arts college and we continued a long distance relationship, one thing led to another and now I live in a quiet suburban area with my teen crush."
"You say that like it's a bad thing" replied Katherine.
Kurt smiled. He really enjoyed spending time with the three women, he hadn't had this much fun since college.
Puck was sitting in the kitchen with Daniel and Zane, who he had insisted on inviting.
"You're looking a bit green in the face," voiced Daniel, "you might want to try not to get drunk in front of your new neighbours and co-worker."
"I've only had two drinks" complained Puck as he glared at the dregs in the bottom of his glass.
"Aww, can Puckie not hold his alcohol" jested Zane with a grin.
Puck stood up unsteadily. "I think I'm just going to get some fresh air."
Once he was outside he promptly vomited in a nearby bush. God, Noah Puckerman is wasted after two glasses, that's not very badass. Then he realised his train of thoughts and quickly changed it to 'Noah Puckerman is drinking too much alcohol, that's not responsible, mature behaviour'.
Still, vomiting seemed to sober him up a bit as he managed to make out a figure in the darkness.
"Fancy finding you here." Her words were slightly slurred and it was clear from her uneasy stature that she was drunk. Then she took a few steps closer and Puck realised who she was.
"You're so hot." At this distance Puck could tell her breath reeked of alcohol, which was the last thought that went through his head before Katherine shoved her tongue down his throat.
Shocking. Anyway, sorry this chapter took so long i.e. 4 months in the making. I've just had 12 exams in the space of 2 months, and I decided to hold off on the fanfiction whilst revising. Also this chapter is longer than I planned; I just enjoyed writing the party scene so much. I'm not sure whether excessive alcohol consumption is skirting over the T rating, but the characters got a bit out of control. Oh well, Glee got away with it so I don't see why not.