Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in the world she created. The title and chapter titles are taken from the lyrics of Evanescence's My Immortal
Prologue – This pain is just too real
"Please Carlisle, all I'm asking is that you hear me out. I really need your help." I could sense the desperation in my voice and hoped it would sway him. I knew he cared about me; it had been obvious in the kindness he had shown me ever since I met him.
"I'm so sorry Bella. I promised my son. He thinks you are better off without us and I tend to agree. You have no place in our world, it's time to live your life." His voice was tired and stern, like a strict teacher talking to a wilful child.
"But you don't understand..." I sounded like a petulant child even to myself. As Carlisle cut me off I cursed myself for not scripting better. I was going to lose everything through lack of preparation.
"No you don't understand Bella. Your human issues seem monumental to you I'm sure, but to us they're just a drop in the ocean of time."
And I knew I was running out of time. I considered blurting out the truth but my all my instincts told me it would not be believed and the conversation would be over. My self control cracked, I let go of any shred of dignity and started sobbing into the phone. "I thought you loved me Carlisle."
There was a long pause before he replied carefully, "I care about you Bella, as I do every acquaintance, every patient and every human I've met. But I have to put my family first." The implication was clear, I was not family, I was as unimportant and fleeting as everybody else in their charade. I'd thought my heart was already broken beyond repair but realised my mistake as the remaining pitiful pieces shattered. Using all my reserves, fuelled by my knowledge that this was my only chance, I pulled my mind together as my soul disintegrated.
"I wouldn't call unless it was important. I am begging for your help. Just a few minutes to explain, is that really too much to ask?"
"Yes, it is," Rosalie's furious, sneering yet beautiful voice replaced Carlisle's patient tone. "Begging Bella? Really? That's pathetic even for you. You need to understand that no one here wants to know. You were a bit of fun for Edward to alleviate a century of boredom. Edward's masochistic experiment in emotions and self control. But even he is not so cruel to continue it when you are clearly delusionally in love and in danger. None of us care about your petty human dramas. You have done enough damage, caused enough discord in this family already. We have moved on, why don't you?"
I was too stunned by Rosalie's conformation of every fear I had had since he left me in the forest three months ago to even notice the long ominous tone in my ear. I let the phone slide onto the bed. I fell to my knees. All the hurt and pain that I had been repressing resurfaced and threatened to consume me like they had in that first dreadful week. I longed for the relief of oblivion but hardened my mind to it.
"Focus Bella," I muttered to myself. My eyes searched the room that I had lived in for less than a year but had been filled with both fairytale dreams and the blackest of nightmares. My gaze fell on a sketch I had drawn from memory four weeks ago and pinned on my wall. Then I made the stupidest decision I had ever made, which when you considered my long history of appalling decisions was really saying something. "Not so much a choice as a lack of options," I said to myself as I reached for my backpack and my passport.
This is for those of you that like to know more about the story before you read. For those of you who don't, please feel free to skip straight to the next chapter :)
Full Summary: Edward left Bella 20 years ago. Struggling, but confident he'd made the right decision, he never went back. He's about to discover how wrong he was about everything. Bella has moved on, as he had hoped, but in a way he had never even considered. His entire view of the world he exists in is shaken. As the revelations keep coming, can he earn ever regain Bella's trust and earn a place in her new life?
This is not a typical Edward/Bella love story. It is more about family and facing consequences. It is about the complexity of family relationships and how they change and evolve over time. I find it difficult to describe and summarise without giving too much away and the only thing I can say with certainty is that there will be surprises along the way.
If you've read this far, then I'm sure you've guessed I write in British English. I've come to realise that that may be a little controversial as I'm mainly writing in Edward's POV and he is most definitely American. I hope you can find it in your heart to overlook it.
If you decide to give this story a chance, then I love you already! I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are addictive and I find it difficult to put into words how much I appreciate each and every one. If you are so kind as to let me know what you think, I will be more grateful than you know.