Just tell her.
"And then Kurt shouted at for, like no reason. Said he needed to stop being so uptight, I think he ended up getting a detention." Quinn reached across the table and put her hand on mine.
Just tell her that you're gay.
As much as I willed them my lips stayed firmly shut.
I tried to change the subject to distract myself. "You know I heard about what you went through last term, the pregnancy. That must have been really tough."
"Well the worst part was keeping it a secret from my parents and from Finn."
"Yeah, I know what it's like to keep a secret." Why? Why would you say that?
"Oh my god, so it's true Sam? You're…gay."
This always happens. When I'm trying to come out and start to over think it I start to get this sick feeling in my stomach at the thought of telling anyone.
"No I'm not gay. Before I came to this school I was nervous about how I would look so I dyed my hair with lemon juice. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for Kurt's magical ability to tell when it comes from a bottle." That has to be the worst cover-up story ever.
The conversation changes subject from there. I look down at my plate but the nauseous feeling in my stomach still hasn't gone away.
"You know I think I'll save these Breadstix meal vouchers. After all a gentleman always pays on the first date."
My mother calls me a 'master procrastinator'. If there's something I need to do I'll put it off indefinitely, so sometimes it helps to set a date for something I need to do and stick to it. This is easy to say a few weeks in advance but not when you suddenly find yourself standing in an empty choir room with Quinn sitting next to you giving you funny looks.
"You wanted to talk to me?"
The nauseous feeling in my stomach is back and I think it's showing on my face.
"Quinn, there's something I need to tell you." Oh well, in for a penny in for a pound. "I'm gay."
"Oh, er, good for you." Quinn smiles weakly and looks away. I think she's still taking it all in so I don't say anything.
"Are you sure?"
For some reason that really annoys me. Would I really tell someone I'm gay if I wasn't absolutely sure I'm-
"Sam. Thanks for telling me."
"You're not mad or anything."
"No, I know that you can't help being gay. I am friends with Kurt Hummel, and just because I have two very republican parents doesn't mean I've got old-fashioned views on homosexuality."
We both smile.
"Wait, I didn't turn you gay or anything?"
People say when you come out it's supposed to be a weight off your shoulders but I still just feel ill. Perhaps when that wears off I'll feel a bit better.
The next day I'm sitting in glee when Quinn asks if she can sing a song. On the way to the front she catches my eye but I'm not really sure what to make of that. Then the music starts up and I barely suppress a giggle as I recognise the song.
If you were gay, that'd be okay,
I mean 'cause, hey, I'd like you anyway,
To say that I was gay
Because you see, if it were me,
I would feel free (But I'm not gay)
Then Quinn reached out a hand and pulled me up from my seat.
"Quinn, I'm trying to-"
If you were queer, I'd still be here,
Year after year, because you're dear to me,
And I know that you
Would accept me too
By this point we were hamming it up, grinning like maniacs.
If I told you today, Hey! Guess what, I'm gay!
(But I'm not gay)
I'm happy just being with you
So what would it matter to me
What you do in bed with guys?
"Quinn, that's gross!"
"No it's not!"
If you were gay, I'd shout hooray!
"I am not listening!" I mock storm into the corner with my fingers in my ears.
And here I'd stay,
"La la la la la!"
But I wouldn't get in your way.
You can count on me, to always be
Beside you every day,
To tell you it's okay,
You were just born that way,
It's in your DNA,
"But I'm not gay."
"If you were gay"
The two of us bow with her hand in mine and the rest of the club applaud.
The thing is coming out is horrible, but moments like this and being able to talk to Quinn about it in private, to talk openly about being gay
It feels really good.
Okay, I had an idea for a one-shot and I thought Sam would fit because of the whole mistaken-for-gay thing, so sorry if he seems out of character in any way.
The song used is 'If you were gay' from the musical Avenue Q, which is awesome.