Chapter 32: Can you lie?
"Look. As interesting as your life may be-" Satori began
"Clearly. Can you just skip to the part that involves Utsuho?"
November 11, 2011
The Subterranean Sun graces the world with her rays!
The conquest begins above the Kanto District
This was after the incident with Discord.
Sasoku visited a week afterward and at that time Utsuho appeared. We picked her up and waited for Sasoku to send her home. She taught Utsuho how to ride a motorcycle in the meantime.
"So that's what Utsuho was going on about..." Satori frowned.
Utsuho wanted to take over this world-
"Sorry about that."
...but I changed her mind.
"You seem to have helped a lot of people." Satori smiled.
"It's really strange. That someone like you would do something like this now."
In what way?
"What you think and what you do is really contradictory." Satori frowned, "You say you don't care about others, but you keep coming to help us. Why?"
If I had a penny for every time I was asked this question.
"We keep asking since you always ignore or distract us from it!" Satori cried, "Give me a straight answer!"
And what would that answer do?
What would my answer do? Why do you want such a trivial truth from me?
"W-Why? Well...so we can get to know you. You are supposed to be helping all of us."
And how does getting to know me help?
"Well for one it won't be as awkward."
That's not true.
My power suppresses any memory of me and the Human Realm whenever I send you back. Even if you do end up back here, you won't remember a lot.
So why do you insist on an answer?
"For me...so we can be friends."
"Yep." Satori smiled, "You're really odd. I can't read your mind at all and you're not even afraid that I Can read your mind. Years of solitude has taught me one thing: If I find someone whom I can make a friend out of, I shouldn't let them slip away."
And you think I can be your friend?
"You can be everyone's friend-"
"Including Cirno." Satori frowned, "You can be everyone's friend. You're just afraid."
Afraid? Stop thinking so selflessly.
I am at best a phantom. Yes, I may be able to befriend all of you and yes, maybe I can stand being all your friends. But every time I see you again you won't remember me as a friend. You think of me as a suspicious man. By the time you leave I'm still nothing more than that.
"That's not true."
Enough. The human sighed, I have to make dinner now.
Satori picked at her food, rarely taking a bite.
Satori looked up.
Whenever I tell you youkais the truth, you sulk around silently. Normally I'd be fine with that but it happens almost every time.
"...So?" Satori asked, returning to picking her food.
What is wrong?
"Why do you care?"
So I can find out why you keep sulking.
"...For all you can do you sure can't understand a maiden's heart."
"...Fine." Satori sighed, placing down her spork, "You want to know why we don't like it when you push us away?"
That's why I'm talking with you.
"There!" Satori cried, pointing at the startled human, "You don't treat us a friends!"
Because I can't be your friend.
"So what are we to you? You clearly don't want to be friends with us, but we have to stay with you. You treat us as guests, like a human. You generalize us as if we're a chore. No one wants to be a burden and whenever we try to reach out, you back away! Your speech isn't helping either. Your cynicism isn't needed and only makes us feel worse! You speak in mostly demeaning terms without any regard for our feelings!"
The human stared at her.
Satori blinked and shyly returned to her food. As she began to eat, the human's thoughts returned,
I generalize you because I don't know you. Each and everyone of you is different so I don't know what kind of actions would harm you. I harshly reprimand you because I see small flaws that I wish to correct. Just pointing them out would have a lesser effect than embarrassing you for it.
"You're stubborn too." Satori mumbled, "Like I said, even if you don't want to harm us that means we're not your friends and we're nothing but a chore in your eyes."
"See? You can't even object against that!"
Satori watched the human think. She sighed and spoke up again, "We're not humans, we're youkai. And even if we were human we can handle a bit of harm. There's nothing wrong with that."
If I say the wrong thing you'll stick yourself in my room again.
"I can't deny some people aren't like that." Satori said, "But some people just need to raise their walls to let others in."
...So as a mind-reader, what do you suggest?
"Be yourself." Satori blinked, "I'm surprised that someone as smart as you haven't figured it out yet."
What I am is uninteresting.
"So? We can all accept you, whatever you may turn out to be. We can even help you change."
Satori stared at the human as he continued to think. She sighed again as she got up, "The best thing for you to do right now is to decide who you are. I'm going to sleep, talking with you gives me a headache."
Satori woke up the next morning. As she got up she was surprised to feel refreshingly empty-headed. She shrugged and got up and entered the living room. There, the human was already placing down breakfast. He didn't look up as Satori walked over. As Satori slowly ate, she decided to trying reading the human's thoughts again. She was surprised to find the human's thoughts flowing like a looping river. Questions flowed past her as some were instantly answered while others were simply pushed aside for more questions. In the center of the turmoil, Satori could see the one thought controlling this train of thoughts:
"What should I be doing?"
"If I may interject, Why exactly do you help us?"
Satori smiled as the human realized that she read his mind.
Because you're not suited, not ready and too dangerous to be in the Human World.
"So why help us? You don't have to."
It's better than leaving you alone.
"Come on, you're giving me generic answers." Satori said, "Don't answer as a Border Guard. Answer as Kyosuke."
The human's mind went blank.
"...If you as a person doesn't want to do this, then you don't have to." Satori suggested.
Satori sat back, satisfied with her work. The human's mind was blank. That or he was thinking subconsciously. With a content smile, she began to eat her breakfast. Once she finished, she noticed the human glowing.
"Have you reached a decision?" Satori smiled.
I don't have to tell you.
Satori frowned, "Hey!"
"I guess that true." Satori sighed, "But it's a pity. I wished I could know a bit of your answer before leaving.
You did help me reach this conclusion. I guess I owe you something.
"Then that means..." Satori cried, excited.
You seem a bit too excited. Especially for The Girl Even The Evil Spirits Fear." The human frowned as he got up.
"It's fine to be excited." Satori said, "But someday, you have to promise me. You'll tell me your answer in full."
"What I realized...was...my life is meaningless.
Before Satori could react, a gap opened up below her.
"Satori!" Utsuho cried as she watch Satori return, "Where have you been?"
"I don't remember." Satori said, "But I just have this enormous head ache."
"Were you drinking?"
"I don't know, but I know one thing for sure."
"I am never talking with humans again."
"Komeiji Satori." The human said, "Perhaps it was for the best that I met you. Thanks to you I recognized that my life is meaningless. So I can put any meaning into my life. My decision will not change what I'll be doing though. Are you disappointed?"