Filling a prompt; warning you now, it is a very sad one. I would love for you to read it regardless as it is my first attempt at a one-shot angst story. =)
Prompt: – F!MageHawke/Fenris. During Act III Meredith decides that Hawke is too great of a threat and takes action.
Hawke stood with her staff drawn, panting heavily as the nobles gathered in the throne room began to cheer for her in gratitude; the mage had single handedly taken the Qunari Arishok down in a one-on-one duel to the death. She could hardly believe it herself! To think she had gone from being an apostate to saving the entire city from the threat of a Qunari invasion, and had avenged the beheaded Viscount Dumar.
Her glory was weary at best when she caught sight of the Templar Knight-Commander marching her way inside; she was not going to admit to her companions, or anyone for that matter, that Meredith frightened her. She feared one thing, as all mages did; The Right of Tranquility.
Meredith's eyes took in the way the nobles adored the mage and she could barely tolerate it; mages were meant to be locked in the circle, not free to do as they wished simply because they had helped divert an invasion. Glaring at Hawke, she approached and offered her hand, shaking the mage's outstretched hand a little more forcefully than she had intended.
"It seems Kirkwall has a new Champion," Meredith said.
Hawke had a feeling that this wasn't the end of it; little did she know how right she really was.
She wanted to check up on Fenris after what had just occurred. They'd confronted his master in The Hanged Man, who was led there by Fenris' own sister; despite her belief in avoiding unnecessary death, she had not stopped the elf from murdering his only living relative. Just as he'd been furious at her betrayal, so had she. Whoever dared to bring harm to Fenris would pay; she had never told him, but her heart had always belonged to him and she'd vowed to have his back for as long as she lived. It was a vow she'd made to herself, one she was intent on keeping.
Hawke walked up the steps of the main room toward the room where she'd always found Fenris, no matter what time of day she came calling on him; vaguely she wondered if he ever used or lived in any other part of the house.
He was pacing in front of the lit hearth, obviously angry. She chewed her lip thoughtfully, before deciding to head inside. He was quick to notice her, though he scowled and turned away, muttering to himself.
"Festis bei umo canavarum."
"Let me guess. You're upset. Again." Hawke let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head.
"It means 'you will be the death of me.'" He snapped out, before turning back to face her. His eyes narrowed angrily. "Six years ago I decided to stay with you, in part because I owed you. But I also thought you could help me. And you did. Hadriana is dead. Danarius is dead. I am finally free. But none of it feels like it should." He scowled. "This freedom taste like ashes."
"You were already free, Fenris. Killing Danarius was just revenge."
"Ah, yes. Platitudes are so easy." He sighed and shook his head, letting out a long breathe to try and calm himself. "You are not responsible for my misery. Why am I angry at you?" Fenris turned from her then, walking to seat himself on the bench in front of the fire. Hawke followed and found herself sitting on the opposite bench across from where him. "I thought finding Varania would open up a whole new world, one that was lost forever. But it's gone and I can't get it back. What do I do now, Hawke?"
He looked at her hopefully; he didn't have the answer and was hoping against hoping that she had one to give him.
"What do you want to do?" Hawke finally questioned.
He chuckled softly and shook his head. "Clearly making decisions for myself isn't my best quality. Maybe it is time to leave this hatred behind. It's poison, yet I continue to swallow it. There is no one left to blame. What I have done I have done to myself." He placed his hand on his thigh with a soft shake of his head.
She swallowed; it felt as though her heart were suddenly in her throat. Her hands were trembling, so instead she placed them on her thighs and leaned forward so as to keep him from seeing how afraid she was in this moment. "You don't have to go through this alone," she finally said, her voice thick with emotion.
"Don't I? We have never discussed what happened between us three years ago." He said the words, looking away almost as if he were ashamed of what he just admitted.
"You didn't want to talk about it," she retorted.
He sighed softly, glancing back to her with pain filled eyes; not the pain filled ones she had become accustomed to. They were filled with a whole new pain, one consumed with regret and longing. "I felt like a fool," he admitted hesitantly. "I thought it better if you hated me - I deserved no less. But it isn't better." Slowly, he arose from his perch and approached her, coming to stand directly in front of her with that same look in his eyes. "That night... I remember your touch as if it were yesterday. I should have asked for your forgiveness long ago. I hope you can forgive me now."
She was surprised at his words and found that she could not say anything for a very long moment. Her voice was thick with pain as she said, "I need to understand why you left, Fenris."
"I've thought about the answer a thousand times," he said with a smile, regretful smile." The pain, the memories it brought up... it was too much. I was a coward." Shame came across his features, before he looked away. He was silent for a moment before turning back to look at her. "If I could go back, I would stay. Tell you how I felt."
"What would you have said?" She asked, curious now.
He took a deep breathe to steel himself for what he needed to tell her. He had to tell her; three years without her had been torture. "Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you," he said, his voice almost as thick with emotion as her own had been a moment ago.
"I understand. I always understood." She told him with a smile, one she found was honest and genuine.
"If there is a future to be had," he began softly as he leaned down toward her so that he could lock his jade eyes with her own cerulean ones, "I will walk into it gladly at your side."
Not being able to keep herself from him any longer, Hawke rose and moved into his outstretched arms. They came together passionately, their lips melding together hotly. It had been too long and they had to have each other; they made no attempt at curbing their need and spent the evening making up for the three years they had lost.
Hawke found she was humming to herself as she departed from Fenris' mansion early the next morning; the sun hadn't even risen yet, but she wanted to return home before anyone awoke and questioned where she had been the whole night. Not that she would lie; she would gladly tell anyone who asked that she'd spent the night loving the only man who had managed to capture her so completely. Never had she wanted and needed someone as much as she wanted and needed Fenris; at last, for a while, she could be content.
She was far too caught up in her own happiness that she did not hear the figures approaching her; by the time she did, they were already on her, trying to restrain her. She cried out and slipped free, rolling away to land on one knee, pulling her staff from her back. Hawke was about to cast a spell but a mist consumed her and she suddenly found herself unable to cast at all.
Templars! She turned and tried to run, but there were too many and she was jostled from captor to captor, tears building in her eyes. She refused to give and fought, throwing her fists out to connect with what she could; she kicked, clawed, even bit at exposed skin. It was all for naught, for the Templar nearest to her only laughed at her feeble attempts.
Her last thought as that fist came flying toward her face was of Fenris.
If only I could have loved you…forever.
Fenris hadn't seen Hawke for days. It had begun to worry him; it wasn't as if they parted on unpleasant terms. Quite the opposite, really. They'd spent the night making up for the years they had missed out on due to Fenris' fear to confront the reality of his past; finally he had been freed from his cowardice, and he'd spent house making up for his mistake. Hawke had seemed quite happy when she'd kissed him and apologized for having to leave so soon, in fact, she had promised to be back that night.
Something was wrong.
He spent the majority of the day asking of her whereabouts among their companions; most of these visits went civilly enough, but Anders had merely told him to get out of his clinic and Isabella seemed more intent on finding her way into his pants. He scowled; really, the woman was appealing, but he was beginning to become annoyed at her overly persistent advances, especially given she knew of his and Hawke's affection for each other.
He found himself standing at the door of Hawke's estate. He knocked once, then again. Bodahn answered when he would have hit the wood for a third time.
"Oh messere Fenris! I was about to come calling on you," the dwarf was saying, smiling warmly up at him.
"What for, if I may ask?" Fenris questioned.
"I needed to find Serah Hawke. There is a mountain of papers piling on her desk." The dwarf looked confused for a moment. "Wait. Is she not with you?"
Fenris growled. "No, she is not. I have been looking for her all day."
Bodahn looked surprised and then, slight shaken. "That is unusual of her."
"Yes. Yes it is." Fenris turned away from the man and began pacing away, before turning back to address him again. "I will go ask Carver; he is a Templar, he must know where she is, if only to protect her from Meredith and the circle."
Fenris paced into the Gallow Courtyard, his eyes frantically seeking out the recruits that were gathered there. They were spread out quite a bit,formed into small groups as they conversed among themselves. There were also mages walking about, both tranquil and not; they were prisoners, he knew, but he could not bring himself to feel sorry for them, not with the great danger they posed.
It wasn't long before he found Carver. The young man was lounging on the wall next to Knight-Captain Cullen, watching the courtyard with what he noticed was distant eyes. He walked the distance separating him and Hawke's younger brother quite quickly in his haste to find out what exactly had become of his lover. He had to know something, Fenris thought desperately.
Carver saw the elf approaching and silently sighed to himself; it was not his place to involve himself in his sister's affairs, but not once had he approved of the relationship to the two had seemed to form. He leaned up from the wall and crossed his arms against his chest, narrowing his eyes. He found Cullen watching them curiously when the elf came to stop in front of Carver.
"Elf," Carver said in greeting; it was a civil start, for Carver.
"Carver," Fenris acknowledged him with a nod. "I need your help."
"Pray tell, what for?" Carver asked scrupulously. This couldn't be good.
"Your sister – she was supposed to meet me; I have not seen her in days. Do you know where she is?"
"My sister?" He blinked several times. "Last I heard she was traipsing about causing trouble; nothing so different from the usual routine."
"That is what I feared," the elf said.
"I believe I can answer your inquiry, elf," the Knight-Captain said after the silence that had stretched on for too long. He regarded the elf with sympathy as he uncrossed his arms. "Meredith brought her to the circle."
"What? Why?" Both Fenris and Carver said at the same time, turning to face the Knight-Captain with shock more than evident on their faces.
"Why? She is an apostate, of course. Just because she is the Champion of Kirkwall does not mean she is the exception to the laws of the Chantry. Don't worry, she is safe enough. In fact," he raised his arm and pointed toward the merchant stands that were set up in the courtyard, "she is right there, helping Solivitus."
Fenris turned his eyes to follow Cullen's directions and indeed saw that slim, elegant, red-headed woman – who'd claimed his heart and soul completely – standing just behind Solivitus with her back presented to them; he could pick her out of a crowd from any angle. Not bothering to say another word to the Knight-Captain, his anger barely restrained, he turned and made his way to where Hawke was moving about, a smile daring to show itself on his lips.
Solivitus saw him approaching and, for a moment, looked panicked. The mage herbalist swallowed visibly and then moved out of his stall to make his way up the steps that led to the main part of the Gallows, and rather hastily at that. Fenris frowned. He had never threatened or made any angry gestures, or even said anything much at all, to the merchant. Why did he react that way to seeing him? Shaking it off, he stopped in front of the stall and cleared his throat.
"Hawke! What are you doing here?"
She turned slowly and Fenris' heart dropped like lead to his gut that was twisting with denial. There, burned into her brow, was the sun brand; it was a stamp that let everyone see that the mages who wore them had been deemed a danger and then had been pacified by the Right of Tranquility. Any mage who wore the brand was forever shut off from the Fade and stripped of all memory, emotion, feelings; Anders' friend had once described it as a colorless, drab existence, without thought or feeling. He'd preferred death than to be forced into a living death; essentially that is what it was.
"I am sorry, messere. Do I know you?" Her tone was flat, disconnected from any emotion. Her eyes were dead, empty; there was nothing left of the Hawke that had claimed him, just an empty shell, a body with no soul.
"Hawke…" Never in his life, that he could recall, had the pain ever been this potent, this all-consuming; not even when Danarius had bestowed upon him these lyrium brands. A single tear slipped from his eye and his hands clenched desperately at this sides, anger beginning to eat at him. "How could they do this to you?" He yelled, his brands lighting up suddenly like combusted flames.
"Do what, messere? Is there something I can assist you with?" She was unaffected by any display he presented to her.
"Maker forgive me, Hawke, I couldn't protect you. But I will now, I swore to you I would never let you live like this."
"I recall no such promise," she said coldly. But then she gasped with pain as the elf's lyrium infused hand found itself in her chest. The pain was unimaginable and her eyes locked onto the man with cold scrutiny.
"Forgive me, Hawke. I love you." Fenris growled out the words, each one holding every ounce of affection he had for her. His hand was on her heart, he could feel it beating inside of his fist; his eyes searched her face desperately, looking for any sign of the Hawke he knew and loved. When he saw nothing but that cold expression, those dead eyes, and that sun brand – he couldn't tear his eyes from it, it was taunting him with its meaning – he knew what he had to do.
"I swear to you, I will kill them all," he whispered with deadly intent lit in his eyes.
His fist closed and the heart beating within his fingers gave way easily enough, leaving the organ as nothing more than a useless mass in his hand. Hawke's eyes went wide and she cried out silently, gasping, wheezing, before she finally just fell to the ground. Her eyes slowly shut and her body – her beautiful body that was imprinted on every part of him – ceased to move at all.
He stared down at her for a long time, even as the courtyard around him exploded into an uproar. There was chaos all around him, but he was deadly still – he was dying right along with her. As he heard Cullen's voice barking to the Templars to surround him, Fenris' turned and found the man with cold and deadly eyes filled with nothing other than blood lust. His gauntlet-clad hands pulled the great sword from his back and he lowered his head, steeling himself. They would pay, he would make certain of that. They would all pay; every – last – one – of – them.
"Come if you wish – I will kill you, just as you killed her."
So sad; I almost cried at my own one-shot. D: I kept imagining it all in my head, as if I were actually playing this - I wanted to like just go "ugh! no!" and throw the controller away.
Please review! =)