A/N: This is an idea I had a long time ago but I was never sure it was going to work out. I think I have a handle on it now, so here goes... I'd love to know if you like it, so please review!
(Disclaimer: All recognisable characters from Veronica Mars belong to Rob Thomas and other important people who aren't me!)
If anyone from Neptune High Class of 2006 was in the club that night, they would scarcely have believed the sight that met their eyes. They were just the two most unlikely people to be seen together like this, but then the strangest of circumstances had come to throw them together. Today was an anniversary that they could both happily forget and yet they knew they stood no chance in achieving that at all, no matter how much alcohol they consumed.
They were willing to try, willing to drown their sorrows til they forgot, however briefly, what they were, who they were, why they were here. It was his idea and he'd been surprised when she agreed to it, now she couldn't think of one sensible reason why she ever would have refused.
The lights flashed bright enough to blind them, the music loud enough to make the whole world shake, or maybe it was just being this close to each other that was making it feel like the room was thumping and spinning.
Mac truly couldn't figure it out and didn't care to. She'd never danced like this, at least not in public or so close to a guy. Right now, she couldn't care about the whys and wherefores, let her smart and sensible brain take a break as feelings and alcohol fuelled her to dance on.
Dick was used to the booze, it took a lot more to make this feel okay for him, but he'd reached that point at last, and he wasn't going to waste a moment of the freedom that came with this high. Wrapping an arm around her waist from behind, he pulled Mac in close and they gyrated together to the booming rhythm that was trying to take them over, and they were going to let it. Laughter escaped her lips as his pulling her closer almost caused the both of them to fall, and he chuckled along with her as she turned in his arms and put her own around his neck.
They were the centre of attention with their new-style Dirty Dancing, and apparently unaware of the world around them. Their eyes were only for each other as she glanced up, dark orbs flashing beneath the bright lights. When he looked down he saw salvation in eyes that could drown a guy faster than any wave he'd ridden. He'd almost forgotten how the evening had started...
It was the last thing he'd expected. To find anyone at all in this place, at this time, it would've been a surprise, though on a public path it really shouldn't have been. Still, Dick had got a shock as he'd stood at the bottom of the hotel, looking up at the stars beyond the roof from which his brother had leapt one year ago today, screaming at the sky for the injustice of it all, when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He'd spun around so fast, he'd almost fallen on top of the girl that would startle him, though that probably wasn't her intention. Their gazes met in the dark, no light inside them, between them, or anywhere around. There was mascara streaking down her cheeks and a hollow empty look behind her eyes.
Silently offering her the bottle in his hand, Mac had surprised Dick by taking it from him, wiping her hand over the top before putting it to her lips and gulping down more than he ever expected her too. He didn't say anything about it, just took the bottle back and continued to stare, until finally she broke the silence.
"One day you think you're okay" she said, her voice cracking with emotion, sounding wrong even to her own ears, "And then it hurts all over again... the tiniest thing and I just..." she winced at the memory, turning her face away, hiding in the shadows that were both her enemy and friend.
"Me too" he nodded once, sniffing hard and wiping his face with the back of his hand.
He understood her, him of all people, but then they were the only two in the world who'd really loved Cassidy in any real way at all. It wasn't enough to save him, and it didn't make sense to them that they could still mourn a person who had done what little Beaver had, but they knew in each other they could at least find someone who knew what they were going through. Today of all days they could find civility for each other, or maybe even more than that.
"You, er... you wanna go get wasted?" he asked her, and usually would've been assured a negative response, but there were no rules tonight, no social constraints, no sense to anything.
This was how she came to nod her acceptance, and take the hand he offered her instead of recoiling with horror. It was how they came to be so far gone they'd almost forgotten their own names as they danced, up close and personal, in the middle of the crowded night club.
The point of the night was gone, the reason for being here, any reason for anything had long since faded, drowned at the bottom of a dozen tequilas, and other drinks too numerous to mention. A combination of his unlimited credit, an overabundance of twisted grief, and a need to be anything but in pain had got them beyond wasted, to this point, arms around each other and eyes locked, only one direction left to travel.
Mac's world was blurry at best before he dipped his head and kissed her, and then she wasn't sure if she was even awake anymore, save for the fact her whole body was tingling, every hair standing on end as his hands moved over her every curve, seeking out skin.
Dick was drowning, and he didn't care. Mac was always hot, even in High School, though he never would've told her, and still wasn't going to now, at least not with words since they'd all but abandoned him. All he said was her name, over and over, as he trailed kisses across her face and down her neck, pulling her body flush to his, rocking them both to the rhythm of the music all around that made no sense anymore, and just became a pulsing, flashing, blinding mess that could never be as important as how good it felt to get closer to this woman.
Neither of them were so stupid or so out of it they didn't know what they were doing, where this was leading. Even the fresh air beyond the doors didn't sober them up when security decided their behaviour was inappropriate and threw them out. Dick might've fought the law if he wasn't so intent on his mission, to lose himself so completely with Mac that neither of them would ever hurt again.
It was a ridiculous notion and they both ought to have known it, but tonight was not a night for good sense or sober thinking, far from it in fact. It was the only explanation for the entirely unromantic way it happened.
How they made it back to campus without getting killed was a minor miracle, and how they managed it without ripping the clothes off each other was even more of a triumph for modesty over debauchery, but such integrity wouldn't last. He had her up against the wall outside of her dorm as she tried to recall if she needed keys or where she might've put them if she did, his hands up inside her top served as no reminder, only distraction as he kissed her long and hard, the pair of them rolling along the wall and into the door that opened of its own accord, sending them sprawling.
Mac landed on top of Dick in a fit of girlish giggles that hardly suited her, and yet she'd never been more beautiful to him. A kick was all it took to get the door closed behind them and by the time his attention was back at the task on hand, her laughter was gone, and so was her shirt. He pulled her down beside him, lips attacking her skin as she helped him catch up, pulling his T-shirt over his head fast so his kiss was not taken from her too long.
Rolling on the floor in the dark with Dick Casablancas, mentioned to a sober Mac would have little to no appeal, and yet here they were. Unromantic as it was, inappropriate as it may seem, and as unlikely as both parties would have sworn it to be just a few hours earlier, they were doing this and there was no turning back.
Two pairs of pants flung haphazardly into opposite corners of the dorm room, and underwear soon to follow, it may not be the smartest move they ever made, but damn if it didn't feel so good.
Maybe it was true what they said, being bad felt so much better than behaving, though honestly that wasn't why Mac was here. She couldn't have explained if she'd wanted to, the booze had knocked out half her brain function and the rest was lost in a hazy mist of ecstasy as Dick proved that, even in this state, he knew what he was doing when it came to women.
Truth be told, he wasn't exactly making it all about her, he was getting what he needed too, even if he couldn't explain exactly what that was before, during, or after the event that would leave them both exhausted, elated, and more at peace for just a few moments than they had managed in over a year.
The space between this and Mac waking in the morning to find herself alone, save for a banging head, was nothing but blank. Memories were as light and fuzzy as distant clouds, and in all honesty it took a fair while before Cindy Mackenzie was even sure she hadn't dreamt the whole thing. The lack of clothes and aches in places that had no business aching proved her mind was not playing tricks, and each part of the evening that she recalled was oh so real.
Why Dick had left her whilst she slept, she could only guess. Embarrassment, shame, fear of what came next. These were all the things she was feeling and could only assume one or all were his reasons for bolting. She didn't blame him, not really. They'd done a very stupid thing, or possibly a series of very stupid things, but it was done now and there was no going back. This she knew as she sat on her bedroom floor, wrapped in the comforter and nothing else, holding her throbbing head, trying to forget and regret, and finding neither came easy somehow.
A month down the line, the few memories she had still haunted her while she slept sometimes. Mac wasn't exactly an expert on sex, but as far as she knew, that one drunken night was pretty damn good, and when a girl isn't getting any, its amazing what her imagination will conjure in the night. Still, it was a secret she kept in her head alone, never spoke to anyone about the liaison she and Dick had shared. She could only presume he'd kept his silence too, since no rumour was spread, and not a word was spoken on the subject anywhere that she heard.
Mac couldn't say she was avoiding him, or that he was trying to stay away from her. Since the final break up between Logan and Veronica which seemed unresovable this time around, there was no excuse for Mac and Dick to end up in a room together by the default of their best friends, then Veronica went off to her internship and Wallace headed to Africa, leaving Mac alone. Too many thoughts kept her company, too much time and not enough activities to fill it made her obsess over the small stuff, and then came something not so small.
Five times she checked the calendar.
Four times she went back and forth between drug stores.
Three messages had to be left on her best friends cell before she finally got to talk to her.
Twice Veronica had to ask what was wrong before a tearful Mac could find her voice and finally admit the truth.
One very stupid thing she'd done, and here was the result;
To Be Continued...