Since I did have questions on how Morgan and Reid's relationship got started in Improbability, I present to you So Much to Say. This will probably be a shorter chaptered fic than Improbability will be. This can stand alone, or be considered a companion fic. All quotes will be from Dave Matthews himself, or song lyrics. Don't fret, I'm not stopping Improbability. I just had to get this up while it was fresh in my brain before posting chapter 11.
All of titles of the songs are from the Crash CD with the exception of one that will come up later. This is chapter is set before 100, probably around Cradle to Grave so Reid still has his crutches.
Dedication: To Rayne McKenna whose questions got this new fic started up. Hope it works for you and anyone else that reads this. And other questions shall be answered as well as the fic goes on.
Disclaimer: So Much to Say is © Dave Matthews Band. I only own the CD. I also don't own Criminal Minds, but most of us would know what would happen if I did.
So Much to Say
"Don't you rob yourself of what you're feeling; don't rob yourself of all that you could be."
— Dave Matthews Band
Derek Morgan walked through the glass doors that led into the bullpen, seeing a certain young genius already at his desk while a couple of his fellow teammates were not present yet. He shook his head, chuckling softly as he watched Reid get up from his desk and head into the break room for what was presumably the first cup of coffee for the day while navigating around the chairs on crutches. He decided to follow the younger agent, knowing what Reid was going to say as soon as he asked the inevitable question.
"Before you ask, I'm fine." Reid started, looking over his shoulder to see the dark skinned male standing in the door of the break room. He felt like he had mastered them relatively easily, the navigating around chairs took some getting used to. "It only hurts a little bit right now."
"How did you know I was going to ask about your knee?" Morgan asked, blinking for a moment as he watched Reid put the usual amount of sugar in his coffee. "It just seemed to bother you yesterday. And you always say that you're fine, when you are obviously in pain."
"You've asked me every day since I got shot." Reid grinned, sitting down at his desk carefully before going back to the folders that seemed to have multiplied in two seconds. "Did you slip files onto my pile again? There were 8 before I went to the break room."
"Maybe." Morgan replied before directing his attention toward Prentiss. "But I think Emily had something to do with it also. I saw her slip three onto your pile before I followed you."
Prentiss looked over at Morgan, a half glare on her features before she ended up laughing instead. "You do it all the time, Derek. And I noticed the same thing that our Dr. Reid did, you do ask about his knee every day."
"Well out of all the things that have happened to him, he has never been shot." Morgan spoke, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly. He shook his head, trying to alleviate the feeling. Derek Morgan never blushed; it wasn't like him at all. "I just wanted to make sure that he was alright."
"And I also noticed you have become more protective over him." Prentiss noted, watching Reid skim over the pages in the files at his usual pace. She was still amazed how he could read 20,000 words a minute, but she would also not want to hear his explanation on why he could read that fast again. "You spent a long time at the hospital with him while he was recovering from Anthrax. And then when he got released from the hospital after he got shot… you literally carried him to your car."
"It doesn't mean anything." Morgan protested, turning to the files that he hadn't placed on Reid's desk. Or does it? No… he's like my little brother, that's it. It would be too weird and I doubt he feels the same about me. Morgan thought, eventually closing one folder while Reid had one left on his desk.
"It means that you care for a fellow team member." Reid started, looking over at Morgan before he put the last file aside. "We all care about each other."
"I know. We've been close over the last few years." Morgan smiled, although he felt his heart slightly skip a beat as he heard himself mention his previous statement. "I mean all of us as a team."
Prentiss had to chuckle slightly as she heard Morgan quickly amend himself. But she also knew that the amendment was true, since they have gotten closer over the years. And more so now with the threat of Foyet still on everyone's mind. "He's right. But I think he also has another meaning to what he said."
Reid tilted his head for a moment, making sure his crutches were resting against the desk. "What could that be? I know we're pretty much like family, all of us are."
"You're that clueless?" Prentiss asked, walking over to Reid's desk while watching Morgan go back to his paperwork. "I never thought I'd see the day that Dr. Reid was clueless about something that obvious."
"I just don't comprehend what you mean." Reid spoke, trying to defend himself as he heard his voice get slightly higher. "I'm not that close to everyone, but you are about the only family I have."
"Then what does Pretty Boy mean?" Prentiss asked with her voice almost in a whisper so Morgan couldn't hear her. She hoped that question sparked something inside the young genius' brain. She knew was far from stupid, but there were still a few things the younger man didn't understand.
"He's called me that for years." Reid replied before wincing slightly as he subconsciously rubbed his knee. "Probably just one of many nicknames I have acquired here. Although he is the only one that calls me that…"
"Exactly." Prentiss smiled, letting that fade as soon as she saw Hotch walk from Rossi's office and back to his own. Everything going on had made him antsy, plus he was also recovering from injuries received on the same day Reid was shot. "Ask Morgan at lunch. I'm sure he'll tell you."
Reid nodded, directing his attention up to the catwalk before seeing Hotch's door close. He knew he was in a bit of pain still, but a knee would heal over time. Psychological pain along with physical would take much longer to heal. "We have to find Foyet… preferably before anyone else dies."
"Agreed." Prentiss spoke honestly, turning back to her paperwork. There was so much going on, and there were also cases that didn't involve Foyet that they had to deal with. She only hoped that all of this would end sooner rather than later.
"But there is something that has been bothering me since I got shot." Reid started, looking over at Prentiss. Thankful that Rossi was busy in his office, JJ was probably looking up a new potential case and Morgan was busy with his third file. "Granted it was bad timing on my part… but it's also the same thing that has bothered me when I almost died from Anthrax."
Prentiss tilted her head, her heart sinking slightly as she heard Reid's words. She was with Rossi trying to find the man responsible for the anthrax attack, and she did get one update from Garcia. And she had been more worried about Hotch since he hadn't been found in his apartment before Reid got shot. "Reid?"
"Don't worry about it." Reid sighed, turning to a report that he had already read over. He shook his head, placing it in the completed stack before he opened up one that he hadn't gone over. "I'll tell you later."
Prentiss nodded, knowing that Reid was doing exactly what she does. Was he afraid of offending her by whatever statement he might have made? Or was he really that upset with her and was afraid to tell her so? "Fine. Tell me at lunch after you talk to Morgan. Something is bothering you, and it's more than your knee."
Garcia looked up, hearing the tell tale sounds of crutches in the hallway followed by the faint foot movements along with them. She made sure her door was open before she saw her favorite boy genius carefully hop into her domain with the crutches. It must have been slow if Reid was visiting her.
"Talk to me Boy Wonder." Garcia spoke, watching him sit down slowly into the chair next to hers. "Something is upsetting you and I would like to know what it is, and who is causing you so much distress."
"You and Morgan seemed to be the only ones concerned for me after I almost died from Anthrax." Reid started, moving his hands to his legs. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. "Granted everyone was worried after Hankel… I actually did die for a few moments. But that's not what I'm getting at."
"We love you Reid." Garcia spoke honestly, putting a hand on his shoulder gently. "And I think our favorite chocolate Adonis cares for you as well, but more than his usual overprotective older brother way."
"Like I told Prentiss, it was bad timing on my part." Reid replied, looking up at Garcia as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Granted I wasn't exactly expecting to get shot… but if I hadn't gotten in the way, Dr. Barton would be dead and the unsub would have killed his son as well."
"That wasn't your fault. It was instinct; you didn't want anyone else to die in front of you." Garcia spoke gently, carefully hugging her friend. "You did save his life, and his son's life by shooting the unsub when you did. I do apologize that we were more worried about Hotch."
Reid shook his head, carefully shifting his crutches before watching Garcia sit back down in her chair. "His injuries were more severe, it was completely understandable. But I still don't understand about the cookies. Was that part of being worried about Hotch?"
"I was wrong." Garcia spoke, remembering his expression after she said the cookies were for Hotch. Even though she did offer him a choice from her bowl of lollipops. "I was thinking more about him, like everyone else. It was like you got shot through the knee, but that will heal. Hotch, he won't heal that easily. And his family is still in danger."
"We are all aware of that." Reid nodded, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before directing his attention to one of Garcia's many computer screens. "So your theory does stand true… Morgan was there after the anthrax, eating my Jell-O. He helped me out of the hospital both times also."
Garcia grinned, looking over at Reid as she turned around in her chair to face the young genius. "And what does that tell you? Surely you have some idea in that big brain of yours."
"That's not possible… is it?" Reid asked, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly. "He always seems like a ladies man you know? I always thought that his comments about me were just a joke or just his usual Morgan vocabulary."
"What about you?" Garcia asked, placing a hand on Reid's good knee gently. "There has to be a reason why you're awkward around other women. Well aside from those you work with. And the only one that you kissed to my knowledge was Lila."
Reid nodded, moving his head into his hands as he remembered that incident in the pool. Ironically it was his first kiss, but he would have rather wanted it to be someone else. He wasn't entirely sure what he was, but he was only 24 at the time. And now he was a few months from turning 28, but he knew age had nothing to do with it. "I've been trying to figure that out actually…"
"Well don't worry your handsome brain over it." Garcia smiled, squeezing Reid's hand gently. "If you want to ask Morgan why he calls you Pretty Boy, you can. But I can tell that you both care about each other. And I did see how you blushed when you mentioned Morgan not possibly liking you."
"It's just a friendship thing, that's all." Reid spoke, although somehow he wasn't entirely sure that his statement was true. If it was, he would not have blushed at his own statement. "But do you know his… orientation so to speak?"
"Not entirely sure on that myself angelfish, that is one thing I can't find on my computer." Garcia smiled, carefully helping Reid up from the chair. "You'll find out at lunch. Don't think of the worst case scenario, like him being totally straight and only liking you as a friend. Now scoot, and fill me in on all the juicy details."
"Garcia!" Reid squeaked, carefully putting the crutches back under his arms before he headed out of his friend's domain. "If anything happens, I'm sure Morgan will be the first to tell you. I better meet him for lunch."
"Go forth young genius." Garcia chuckled softly; closing the door behind her once Reid started to hobble down the hallway on crutches. She would feel better when he was able to be able to walk freely once more, but if anything she would help him find a cool cane for when he was able to be walking with it.
Reid looked around; sighing softly to himself as he entered the only place he figured Morgan would go to for a lunch break. It was a rarity to even have an hour for lunch, so he figured it would be somewhere quick like a deli or fast food restaurant close by. He soon walked through the doors of the deli, seeing Morgan sitting down at a table with a rather large sandwich.
"Never thought I'd see you here." Morgan spoke, looking up at the younger genius before the other sat down across from him. "Is there a case?"
"No, there isn't." Reid started, looking at Morgan for a few moments. Once again his cheeks felt flushed and slightly warm, but he didn't understand why. He and Morgan were just friends, nothing more. "But there is something I wanted to ask."
"Ask away." Morgan smiled, giving Reid his usual charming look before letting dark brown meet up with hazel. Did he patent the puppy dog look or get it from some Disney movie? He thought, keeping his gaze focused on the younger male.
"We've known each other for a long time." Reid started, trying to find a way to start this conversation off. He was no good at dates, let alone innocent conversation in a deli that was far from a date scenario. "I was just curious about something…"
"I know Pretty Boy. Just ask it." Morgan spoke, watching Reid subconsciously move his hand to his injured knee.
"That's what I wanted to ask you." Reid spoke, a smile crossing his lips. "You've called me that for the longest time. But I never understood… why do you call me Pretty Boy? Everyone else calls me Reid, Spence or Boy Wonder in the case of Garcia."
"And who knew I'd be the first to make you not understand something." Morgan started, flashing his trademark smile toward Reid once more. "But since you asked, I'll tell you. Garcia has even said that you are good looking."
"So… it is based on physical attributes." Reid replied, putting one hand to his crutches as he prepared to stand back up but he thought better of it for now. "But the term pretty is generally reserved for women, men are generally considered handsome."
"Exactly." Morgan smiled. "I mean I don't think of you as feminine. Granted you are letting your hair grow out… but that isn't what I'm getting at."
Reid huffed, crossing his arms over his chest lightly while he listened to Morgan try to dig himself out of the hole he was creating. "There is nothing wrong with letting my hair grow out. Now can you please elaborate on the meaning of Pretty Boy?"
"I guess it also means that I like you." Morgan admitted, feeling his heart rate slow down slightly as he finally said it out loud. He never thought he would, but over the years he had gotten closer to Reid. And after the young male's statement when he was about to get washed down from the anthrax exposure, that made him think.
"Wait… you the consummate ladies man?" Reid asked, tilting his head slightly in confusion. "I hate saying this, but I am genuinely confused by what you are trying to tell me. You say I'm not feminine, but you call me pretty."
Morgan smiled, knowing how the younger was in these types of situations. He was hesitant in what he was about to do next, not knowing how Reid would react to his actions. He didn't want to scare him, but he also didn't want to end up regretting showing how he felt toward the young genius. "May I show you what I mean? And I want to know if you feel the same about me."
"You may." Reid spoke, not really expecting what happened next. He spotted Morgan stand up, soon helping him up to his feet before he felt strong arms move around his slender waist. He could smell Morgan's aftershave, mixed with faint hints of turkey from the other man's lunch. He then found himself looking into dark brown eyes as Morgan moved closer.
Morgan smiled warmly, moving as slow as possible so he didn't scare the younger male. He felt Reid relax a little in his arms, soon seeing the hint of confusion get replaced by one of understanding. Eventually the dark skinned male moved closer, his lips soon meeting up with Reid's in a chaste kiss. Mostly testing the waters, but he was pleasantly surprised that the young genius returned the gesture.
Reid kept his arms around Morgan's shoulders, mainly for support since he wasn't supposed to be standing without aid from his crutches right now. But he felt the weight in his chest disappear as soon as they shared their first kiss together, albeit a quick kiss but it still counted. "I understand now…"
"I'm glad you do." Morgan smiled, supporting the younger male as he reached for Reid's crutches. "I can't wait until you're allowed to walk unassisted again. It's hard seeing you hobble along the hall, and trying to carry your cup of sugar back to your desk."
Reid chuckled softly, placing the crutches back under his arms before looking up at Morgan. "There is some coffee included."
"Sure Pretty Boy." Morgan laughed, leaving money and a tip for his meal as he helped Reid out of the deli. "Can we do that again?"
"Do what?" Reid asked, soon a realization hit him. And a light smile crossed his lips. "Oh, sure. It is generally used to reaffirm relationships and a sign of affection or passion."
Morgan shook his head, soon kissing the younger male once more. This time a little deeper than the first one, if only to make him not talk about statistics about kissing for now. It was bad enough he got excited over peas being related to love. "Can we just enjoy this moment please? No statistics on kissing, or when the first kiss actually happened."
"Of course." Reid replied, letting himself enjoy the moment with Morgan. He was trying to figure out how to tell the team, but the bad part would be they would figure it out eventually. The downside of working with profilers, even if there was a moratorium on profiling each other everyone would figure out their relationship. For now though, he was only focused on spending time with Morgan. Not worry about their friends and co-workers.
Next chapter, possibly lemon. But we'll see. I'm trying to time this with what JJ and Morgan mentioned in chapter 10 of Improbability so this side fic will make sense. You don't have to read that chapter, but if you are already reading it thank you for one. And two, this fic will make sense.
And I know we have no idea who got Reid when he was released after being shot, so just go with Morgan helping him in both instances (including anthrax before he got shot). It will make the moments seem that much cuter.