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So Much to Say by Buka2000

TV » Criminal Minds Rated: M, English, Romance & Family, D. Morgan & S. Reid, Words: 15k+, Favs: 42, Follows: 68, Published: 6-3-11 Updated: 7-16-11
21 Chapter 4: Butterfly

I think everyone knows by now I'm a huge Dave Matthews Band fan as is obvious by this fic alone. With that aside, I thank everyone that has reviewed so far. Things will pick up slightly as the fic goes on, or so I hope. In honor of shark week I will have a shark related chapter that ties in with chapter 1 of Improbability, but that won't be for another few chapters. And I am also afraid that I lost people, but if you are still with me for this and Relativity please let me know.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Criminal Minds. If I did, I would have had Morgan call Reid pretty boy more than once in season 6. I also don't own the song. Butterfly is from the Because of Winn Dixie soundtrack, sung by Dave Matthews as Otis on the movie. I own the DVD, that's about it.

Warnings: Mpreg, fluff and that's pretty much it.

So Much to Say

You are like a butterfly
A Caterpillars' dream to fly
So bust out of this old cocoon
And dry your wings off
Butterfly
Go ahead, and fly


JJ watched her friend, seeing the turmoil written on his features. He was too young to be worrying about this, but she also knew the stress wasn't good for the growing embryo. It was far too young to be called a fetus yet, and even far too little to really be able tell anything else about it. "If there is anything I can do…"

"I know you'll help." Reid spoke quietly, sighing as he moved his hands over his abdomen. Given his thin stature it wouldn't be long until anyone could tell visibly that he was pregnant. He was running everything over in his head, giving himself a small headache as he tried to figure out a way to tell Morgan.

"I'll give you a book later on, once you make your decision." JJ smiled, putting a hand on the other's shoulder. She quickly checked her phone and saw that Hotch had called again. She knew they had to get back as soon as possible or Hotch would send either Anderson or Rossi to get them. "Spence, we have to get back. I'll make sure to pick up the prenatal vitamins that Dr. Katska told you to get once we get off work."

"Thank you JJ." Reid smiled faintly, getting up from the table after a few moments before reaching for his cane. He was still in shock, he knew how it happened. But he was also wondering why it happened to him and not anyone else. "Now how the heck do I even mention it to Morgan? Or should I wait a little longer… I'm not even a month along yet. And if I did happen to miscarry, it wouldn't be noticeable as the embryo would get absorbed back into the body."

"Spence…" JJ started, using her motherly tone against her best friend. "Don't even think about miscarriage. I know you are aware of all the statistics about it, and the causes for it. But I want you to think about a healthy baby."

"And what do I tell my mother?" Reid asked, finally walking out of the hospital with JJ as they headed toward the Suburban parked close to the entrance. "I certainly can't lie to her. She'll know that something is up. At least if it was a lucid period…"

"Tell her the truth." JJ replied, smiling a little as he got into the passenger side of the Suburban. "I'd tell her in one of your daily letters and include a sonogram. Then as you get further along, I'd send a picture of you as well with your growing belly."

"She'd like that actually." Reid managed a faint smile, looking ahead as JJ started up the vehicle. Now he just had to figure out how to tell the others what was wrong, without letting the news of his pregnancy slip before he was ready to tell anyone. "But the first thing is to tell Morgan. He'd be upset that you found out before him though."

"I won't say a word, and act surprised if I hear it from him." JJ smiled, soon driving off back toward Quantico. She knew it was going to be interesting and quite scary for her younger friend and co-worker. But he did have her support, and hopefully he would have Morgan's as well.

…..

"Is everything alright?" Rossi asked, watching Reid and JJ walk into the bullpen. They had only a few hours left before leaving for the day. "If you still feel under the weather Reid, feel free to take off early."

"I'll leave after I finish up this paperwork." Reid replied, offering a faint smile toward JJ before she headed up into her office as he propped the cane against his desk. He pulled a folder from the stack, soon noticing Morgan directing his attention toward him. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Morgan said, smiling a little before turning back to his dreaded paperwork. He was curious as to what was wrong with his boyfriend, but right now he'd try to let curiosity slide and focus on what he was supposed to be doing. "But I can tell that you're nervous about something."

Reid nodded, cursing the fact that he couldn't hide anything from anyone. Especially when his boyfriend and co-workers were all profilers like himself. He wondered how successful he'd be in a few months, although that would be something he wouldn't be able to hide even if he wanted to. And he didn't even know what he wanted to do about this latest situation.

"There is something I wanted to talk to you about actually… but we can't discuss it here." Reid finally spoke, closing the folder before opening another one. He knew that Morgan could tell he was distracted because he wasn't reading as fast as he normally did. "Perhaps we can discuss it at your place?"

"Sounds good." Morgan started, smiling as he finished up his paperwork. "We'll head there after I pick up groceries. But we have to stop by your place as well; you have to get an outfit for the funeral tomorrow."

"That won't take long." Reid spoke quietly, subconsciously moving his hand to his knee. He had a million things going through his head, which wasn't really that unusual for the young genius. He knew he had to tell Morgan, and soon. He also started thinking about what the extra weight from the pregnancy could do to his knee that was still healing.

"I know." Morgan replied, turning back to his paperwork while trying to figure out what was wrong with the younger male. It was more than slightly concerning, especially since he had been sick that morning and wasn't as talkative as usual either. "Promise to tell me everything?"

"I will Derek." Reid smiled a little, closing a folder before reaching for another one. Mentally he was counting down to when they were able to get off work and go to their respective homes for the evening. And then he wondered if anyone else heard him call Morgan by his first name. "I promise. But you better be sitting when I do tell you."

Triangle, VA

Morgan pulled into his driveway, smiling toward Reid who appeared to still be deep in thought about something. It had to have been something serious if it distracted him so much from the scenery outside the window. He then turned his attention to see a blue merle collie bounding up to the fence, tail wagging and barking happily. "Don't mind Clooney, he's just excited to see me. Not like he knows how long I was really gone, a few hours probably seems like an eternity."

"Actually dogs don't really have a sense of time like humans do." Reid started, carefully getting out of the passenger side. Mentally wondering why Morgan had the Bureau SUV, but decided against asking. It would come in handy if they had a case in the middle of the night. "So it might only seem like a few minutes to him when you were actually gone for the full eight hours. Or days when we are out of state on a bad case."

"I knew that." Morgan spoke, moving to get the groceries out of the back before he shut the door. He didn't get much, only a few things that were necessary for breakfast and of course dog food for Clooney. "Why don't you get your stuff put together for tomorrow before we talk?"

Reid nodded, putting his hand on the handle of the cane before walking into Morgan's house. He carefully sidestepped the excitable collie and headed toward the guest room with his go bag in his free hand. He was actually surprised that the dog wasn't barking at him, and then mentally grinned about the nonexistent Reid Effect.

"Need help?" Morgan called, watching Reid walk down the hall and hearing the tell tale sign of the cane hitting the floor with each step the younger took. "I just have to put the food away and I can be right there."

"I'm fine." Reid replied honestly, pulling out his night clothes and placing them on the bed before he dug out the clothes for the funeral tomorrow. They were appropriately dark, but not entirely black. He moved his hand over his abdomen for a few seconds before going back to pulling out clothing. He placed his purple scarf over the back of the chair so he didn't lose it, and made sure his dress shoes were already polished.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me?" Morgan asked, once he walked into the room after he put the groceries away. He never got much since most of it would more than likely spoil while they were on long cases, so he only got the necessities to tide him over. "That outfit looks good."

"Thanks. I wore something similar when we went to that funeral in Vegas." Reid spoke, turning toward Morgan with a faint smile on his lips. He carefully put his hands on Morgan's shoulders, almost coaxing the older male into sitting down on the bed.

"Why do you have me sitting?" Morgan asked, a hint of confusion creeping into his words. Was it something so serious that the young genius thought he'd faint in surprise? He shook his head lightly, pushing aside all negative notions.

"What I'm about to tell you… I didn't even expect it to happen." Reid spoke carefully, trying to phrase things so Morgan could understand what he was saying. "I'm afraid to tell anyone else right now… but I have told my mother about us in the last letter I sent."

"Just tell me what is going on." Morgan prodded; putting a hand on the younger's shoulder. "No statistics, no 'I'm fine' just be honest with me Reid."

Reid sighed softly, fiddling with the handle of his cane since it was propped against the nightstand and within easy reach. "Remember that night after the museum?"

"Of course I do." Morgan smiled a little, rubbing Reid's back. He could tell he was anxious by the way he was constantly running his thumb over the wooden handle and averting eye contact. He shook his head, remembering his promise to not profile his lover as part of the moratorium of inter-team profiling.

"Right… you don't need an eidetic memory for that." Reid spoke softly, taking a deep breath before moving his hands to his lap. "Odds of what I have actually happening is quite rare… there have only been five documented cases in the world, four in the continental United States. I think one in Canada…"

"Reid..." Morgan spoke, trying to keep his voice from going into an angry tone. "What happened three weeks ago besides the sex? And what could you have that is so rare? If it's a disease we'll find a cure like with that strain of anthrax."

Reid knew there was no point in beating around the proverbial bush, he just had to get this out in the open and let Morgan know that their lives were about to change. And he had yet to tell the others, he only hoped that they didn't find out the hard way. He also knew what he had didn't have a cure, at least not one that wasn't controversial.

"Male pregnancy is rare…" Reid replied quietly, almost flinching as he felt Morgan's hand grip his shoulder a little tighter than just a reassuring squeeze. "It is considered high risk, due to the fact men aren't equipped to carry a fetus to term… let alone carry one at all. Some children are born early, most via caesarean section…"

Morgan rubbed his temples, releasing Reid's shoulder before he accidentally broke the scapula. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You're going to be a father in approximately eight months…" Reid spoke softly, feeling a few tears building in his eyes. "I'm pregnant Derek…"


Cliffhanger. Le gasp! My brain died after Reid's statement.

This is long before Reid found out that he was actually carrying twins, please keep that in mind. Now back to working on the sequel. Sorry for the lateness of this chapter however, work has definitely gotten in the way on this one.

I finished writing this after a 12 hour day, so forgive the shortness. I'm afraid most of the chapters now will average about 2000 words, maybe 2500 if I'm lucky.


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