Disclaimer: Nothing in the Harry Potter universe is mine, no matter how much I wish it were.
The Squib's Guide To The Potter-Weasley Clan
I'm Al. That's Albus Severus Potter to you. Eighth grandson of Molly and Arthur Weasley. Ninth if you count Teddy. Middle child of Harry and Ginevra Potter. Godson of Neville and Hannah Longbottom. Brother to Lily and James Potter (the seconds). Cousin to…gah, too many to name there.
You get the picture.
Black messy hair, green eyes, short, glasses, in short, a scarless mini Harry Potter.
Now you really get the picture. But you probably don't know the rest of my colossal family a.k.a. tribe.
So, first off:
Grandad Weasley: Tall, balding. Red hair, blue eyes. Insane obsession with muggle objects. Kind hearted and understanding. Isn't one to get mad quickly.
Grandmum Weasley: Red hair, brown eyes. AMAZING cook. Sweet, and gentle, but is perfectly capable of walloping your behind hard. Very hard.
Uncle Bill: long red hair, brown eyes. Very mature and intelligent. Bit scarred from a werewolf attack. Easygoing. Well-natured, except when he hears his daughters' names and "dating" in the same sentence. Then, you might not want to cross him. He's a Curse breaker for Gringotts, so…he's perfectly capable of hexing you well into next year. Or the year after.
Aunt Fleur: gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. She is part veela. Very picky and persnickety, and very proper. She's also really squirmish and has an extremely low gore tolerance. She's generally loving and caring, but she's a stickler for rules. Oh, and she cries over any little thing. And I mean, any little thing. Once, Louis started cutting a tooth, and she started bawling and rambling in French.
Victoire: Spitting image of her mum. Very French, she' s the only one besides Aunt Fleur who can speak fluent French. She goes back every year in summer to visit her French grands-parents. She's also in love with Teddy. And in her final year at Hogwarts. She wants to become a healer. I don't honestly think it'll happen, because she faints at the sight of blood. She's very fashionable too, and best friends with Molly.
Dominique: She's real gifted with a wand. She's the most formidable cousin I have. She can jinx, hex and curse you well into next month. Inherited Uncle Bill's curse-breaking abilities. She's also a nightmare on the Quidditch pitch. Hell of a chaser. She's got red hair, with blonde highlights, and the strangest eyes I have ever seen. They're an unusual blue-gray color, which is weird, because neither of her parents have gray eyes. And she's as un-French as you can possibly get. Both she and Lucy are in their fifth year. She's Lucy's best friend. I don't know why Lucy is still alive though, I'd have thought by spending so much time with Dom, you'd get yourself killed within minutes. So I was wrong. I have been told that. On several occasions, actually.
Louis: He's seven and looks exactly like Victoire. He's a bit shy, and a real good Seeker. He's best friends with Roxanne, and they're both exceptionally smart. Way too smart for their age.
Uncle Charlie: He is actually the funniest uncle I have. (Do not tell Uncle Ron I said that.) He flies dragons, rides motorcycles, and does loads of other fun stuff. He's got red hair too, and blue-green eyes. Once, when we went to visit him in Romania, he took James, Rose, and me riding on a Welsh green. It was wicked! And we didn't tell our parents. Ha!
Uncle Percy: The most boring uncle I have. Really. He is running for Minister this year. I honestly don't care if he wins or not, just as long as he stops talking about foreign policies and laws and a load of other stuff I am way too young to care about. I suppose he's nice, but even more of a stickler for rules than Aunt Fleur. Mum and Dad probably feel the same way. No actually, I know they do. Dad tries to avoid him everywhere and so does Mum.
Aunt Audrey: She's actually a lot of fun. I don't know what she sees in Uncle Percy, but both her daughters take after her, since neither of them are obsessed with school or wear horn-rimmed glasses. Aunt Audrey has light brown hair and hazel eyes. She gets along fabulously with Aunt Fleur seeing as their daughters are best friends as well. She bakes well, and I can't think of anyone who doesn't like her.
Molly: She's got her Mum's eyes and auburn hair. She's Vicky's best friend, fashion obsessed and really good at drawing. Madam Maulkin has already offered her an internship as a designer when she leaves Hogwarts. Her dad isn't too pleased. She's in her seventh year as well, and owns a snow-white cat she named Fluffy.
Lucy: Dom's best friend and the sweetest Weasley girl. No, seriously, everyone says that. She inherited her mother's baking skills. Actually, she's a lot like her mother. She's in her fifth year too. She's got her mum's hair, but her dad's blue eyes.
Uncle George: More of a kid than anything. He's only got one ear, which is a subject for many jokes. His jokes. He's real fun, and he never listens to aunt Hermione. Ever. He's probably the only person who can get away without listening to her. Heck, he doesn't even listen to Aunt Angelina, his own wife. Uncle George has got red hair and blue eyes. But sometimes, just to aggravate the female population, he'll dye it green.
Aunt Angie is a really intense person. She is really passionate and an amazing Quidditch player. Dad told me she used to be Gryffindor captain once upon a time, and she made a really good one too. She still bosses everyone around. She's got tanned skin and black curly hair and brown eyes. And she's absolutely amazing.
Fred is really funny. He's got a sense of humor, and he loves pranking anyone and everyone (namely, Rose.) He's exceptionally stupid though, when it comes to some things. He plays Beater on the Gryffindor team, and he's very good at it. He's got blue eyes, and red hair, just like his dad.
Roxanne is really good at pretty much everything. She looks exactly like her mother except for her eyes, she's got blue eyes. She plays chaser, and is an excellent one too. Everyone says she'll end up head girl. I hope so, because she certainly can be powerful when she chooses to. She and Louis are joined at the hip.
Uncle Ron is my favorite uncle. He is really funny and the only person in the world who can get Aunt Hermione to change her mind. It's quite a feat, believe me. He is an Auror, like my dad. And he's also the only person I know who can constantly argue with someone. He and Aunt Hermione NEVER STOP BICKERING. Literally. Dad says so too, and he's known both of them since their first year at Hogwarts. And he's also the only one I know who still supports the Chudley Cannons, after eons of defeats. Go Figure.
Aunt Hermione is really strict. She never bends rules for anyone and is extremely smart. She's made about half the laws recorded at the ministry, has set thousands of house elves free, won the order of Merlin, second class, and can't cook or play Quidditch to save her life. She's a lot like Rose. She also owns two libraries. Can you believe that?
Rose is my absolute favorite cousin. She's got wild, red curly hair, and brown eyes. And a ton of freckles. She is really smart too, and always has her nose in a book. She loves to play in the rain, and is deathly afraid of heights, therefore, she never gets on a broom. She hates Scorpius Malfoy, can jinx, prank, or punch anyone to high heaven and back, and isn't in the least afraid of detention, her mum, or Headmistress McGonagall. Which would make her clinically insane. Which of course, she is.
Hugo is shy, an incredible keeper, and addicted to Chocolate Frogs. He is best friends with my sister Lily and has blue eyes and straight brown hair. He looks kind of like his Mum, but acts a lot like his Dad. He loves to play chess, and is really good at it too. Overall, he never gets in trouble of any sort. Yes, he is perfectly sane.
Dad is Harry Potter. He hats the press, loves my mum, and couldn't care less about the rumors constantly slandering him. Basically, I can always tell him about anything, and he won't ever yell or scream hysterically like mum tends to do. I love my dad very much.
Mum is…mum, I guess. Red hair brown eyes. Crazy temper. She's a jouarnalist for the Prophet and loves us to pieces.
James is a prat.
Lily is sweet, I guess, but really spoiled. She always gets exactly what she wants when she wants. Its very irritating. Especially from dad. She's literally got him wrapped around her finger. Her little pinky finger. And she is a carbon copy of mum. Down to the last freckle.
Then there's Teddy. He's dad's godson, and pretty much my brother. He goes to the Auror academy and is madly in love with Victoire, which I have already mentioned. He is also a lot like Dad, but if I tell him anything, it never stays there. He always tells Dad everything. Which is also annoying, but I like him a lot.
And he's a Metamorphogus, which is extremely cool.
So there you go. Welcome to the family!