Don't Be Deceived
Tears are not enough at times…not enough to fill the emptiness inside…not enough to make life better. If anything…tears…make life stand still. They make one notice their own downfall.
Anya's downfall…was that she loved too much. She loved her mother dearly but that love could not save her…give her the strength to bear her cancer. It made her refuse to take anymore treatments and give up on life in general…leaving her and her father to pick up the pieces.
But there were no pieces to put back together…no way to rebuild. Her father…laid off…spent his depression enclosed in his room.
Unlike him, she held it all inside…but it would not last for long. She was giving into the weight slowly…steadily.
Sitting on the school bench, she noticed Holly J walk over to her. Thankful that she was by her side during the funeral, it was hard for Anya to look at her at times. Anya had been Holly J's rock since Lakehurst. She had endured her nasty statements…her belittlement of her dyslexia…let's not forget to conspiracy to win Class President.
And she paid her back by backstabbing her…hooking up with Sav. The man she loved...gave her virginity to. She couldn't see how one guy couldn't claim her…the girl with the heart of gold…and claim the over controlling, aggressive girl who didn't care who stood in her way.
The reason why people took advantage of her was because she was forgiving…of every lie Sav told her…of Holly J's apologies.
Yes, Holly J was acting better as a person but….
She wanted to scream until her lungs burst…until her nightmare was over.
"You doing ok?" Holly J walked with the girl in the building.
"No…..but….she's not in any pain anymore." Anya opened her locker as Holly J continued to give her comforting words. Turning her attention away for the ginger head, she felt eyes on her…the culprit…Owen.
"I'm sorry about your mom…if there is anything I can do for you…let me know." He grabbed her hand. She actually believed his words as he walked off.
Sav stared at her through the glass window. She was slipping away second by second…and there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to be at the funeral to pay his respects…but he knew she wouldn't have wanted him there…everything he put her through. The things he did with Holly J and not with her. How could he?
She was his one true love. They had been together through their awkward phases…her braces…his shaggy cut…heck…even sticker collections. They were bonded and he broke it.
He let his guard down. He just needed someone…him and Holly J. Anya didn't want to put up with his crap…and she was right because she deserved the world.
…but it's too late to become a part of her life again….
"Sav you got to do something about this." Dave filed papers as he watched Sav look at Anya. Dave noticed the boy didn't even breathe or blink. The 10th grader always admired him for his knowledge and experience.
"It's not that simple…"
"She at least deserves your condolences…you can't sweep it under the rug."
"Knock, Knock" Alli smiled walking in. "You needed to see me."
"Yep I need you to make posters…advertisements…to get people to donate to the American Cancer society…"He paused.
"Ironic…huh." Alli said noticing how Dave kept his back turned to them. She missed her friend…in more ways than one.
"Look you two…stay out of this." He said knowing they wouldn't.
"Alli, I just can't face him..o.k." Clare referred to Eli. It didn't help him look at her intensely. Seeing him look at her like that…made her realize…why she fell for him….why she left him when he needed her the most.
"Clare you are not a bad person." Alli tried to calm her friend down. "Stop looking at this situation like its…black and white…breaking up with him didn't mean you didn't have actual feelings for him…it meant you couldn't take the intensity…he's a little neurotic…always going to the extreme. I mean he crashed his hearse…while he was in it! That's like attempt suicide." Alli raised her hands dramatically.
Clare had to admit her best friend did have a good point. The Bhandari family therapist was working wonders on the petite girl. She was becoming more focused on the things that mattered rather than materialistic and superficial things.
Clare knew it was going to be hard to get over Eli. He was the guy she wanted to give her virginity to. How could it all change so quickly? She did love him. She probably would always love him…..but he was unstable.
Drying her tears, she continued to help her friend make posters as a tall brunette entered the room.
Instantly knowing to save the discussion for another time, they continued to color as Alli handed her a clear board.
"Thanks…I'm only doing this for Dave and to get out of Chemistry." Alli smiled at the girl's happy disposition. Sadie was a lucky girl.
Anya escorted herself to the bathroom. As if seeing the posters around campus wasn't bad enough, she grabbed a paper towel as she walked inside.
"I told you Anson…I' give you your money." Bianca walked out the bathroom stall hanging up her phone.
"Got a problem?" She stated with her attitude. Anya put powder under her eyes.
"Sorry. Today is not a good day for me." Bianca dried her eyes.
"Tell me about it…o my God…your wrists…" She gasped at the tough girls bruisings.
"It's not as bad as it looks…" She said.
"Was it Drew…"
"No…no….he would never hurt me." Anya offered her some powder. She knew the look of despair all too well.
"By the way…this conversation never happened." She powered her nose and walked out.
All Sav could think about was Anya…his first…his everything. He remembered once ago looking into her eyes and seeing a family. He was bullshitting himself. How could he give her a family if he couldn't bring her to his parents. He wished he was more like Alli in situations such as this. He wished he could have kept his treasure.
"Owww" A girl said in pain. A beautiful girl with a gorgeous body. Her red hair flowed down her back. Sav was only human right.
"Katie." She said shyly at the dark skin Indian with beautiful teeth.
"O yeah…I've seen you around…with Marisol." He brushed his bang.
"Yep…that's my bestie." She bit her lip walking away.
She didn't know why she always got shy around boys. She never knew what to say. Sav was strikingly handsome…slim. Why doesn't he have anyone? She always saw him with Holly J. Everyone knew that wasn't going to last.
The one thing she knew about Degrassi was its unique students that attended. She had heard so many rumors about "Sonya" and "Solly J"…she couldn't wrap her mind around it. Marisol filled her in too….with help from Chantay of course. One rumor that caught her attention was Adam.
Everyone knew he was really a girl but that did not give anyone the right to treat him so harshly. It wasn't that big of deal. The one thing she always wanted to ask him as she would see him walk past her in the halls was how did he know he was transgendered rather than a lesbian.
Seeing him sit down at the lockers, she walked passed him smiling and waving.
Adam had no idea what this beautiful girl was waving at. There has to be a God because she directed her attention to him. She was truly stunning as he watched her pass by.
Fiona saw him watch the radiant girl catch his attention. She wanted to make things better. Besides she and Eli were taking a therapy session together. She was sure her name would come up in the conversation….the best friend…and the ex-love interest.
"Hi Adam" Fiona took a seat by him in the hallway.
"Come to reject me more." Adam didn't look at her. He wouldn't pull himself back in to her grey pools. He would have never made himself so vulnerable if he knew the consequences before hand.
"Adam…I didn't know what I wanted…and in the process…you got hurt…and I am so sorry for that. You are a good guy…who is better than any other man that I have ever met. I know you don't forgive me…but I really truly mean it. I do hope one day we can become friends." She kissed him on the cheek walking to class.
"Does it still hurt?" Adam asked Eli about his arm in the cast.
"Not as much as my heart." He thought of Clare. He knew what he did was outrageous and sporadic…but he didn't want to lose her…turns out he was damned either way. Why did he do the things he did? Why did he always hurt the ones he loved most?
Therapy was helping with the hoarding…and controlling…but he hated feeling powerless. Especially with Clare. He never thought a girl could move him a way Julia did…until he met her. Staying away from her was the best thing for him…but he would get her back.
The last song heard on Drop The World Part 2…Season Finale :)