Author: LoveB

Story Title: iCarly Fast Forward: Sam and Freddie Oneshots

Oneshot Number One: iWant You So Bad, It's Driving Me Mad

Time Frame: Before and During iLost My Mind

Genre: Drama/Romance/Friendship

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly nor any other Nickelodeon TV show.

Summary: The three days Sam and Freddie are apart are the longest three days of their lives. Sam struggles to come to terms with everything that happened at the lock-in, while Freddie contemplates his and Sam's ever-changing relationship.

Freddie didn't know how much more he could take. From the unanswered phone calls and text messages to both Sam and Carly, he felt like he was alone. Here he was going crazy and neither of his friends were around to counsel him. Wasn't that what friends were for? Well, in this case, seeing that one of his best friends was the reason for his madness, he should have expected this isolation. But still, where the hell was everybody? It was a late Sunday afternoon and he sat alone in his bedroom. The room was dark, except for the small gleam of light emanating off his laptop's computer screen. He still couldn't believe it.

IN LOVE...He stared at the words and the words stared back at him.

He ran both his hands through his disheveled hair in frustration. IN LOVE. He sighed loudly, closing his eyes. Immediately, his mind filled with images of Sam's tightly closed eyes as she held him close to her. KISS. Opening one of his eyes, he glanced at the computer screen once again. He wasn't an idiot. In fact, he was at the top of his class. Surely, he was capable of putting two and two together. Groaning, he slammed shut his laptop without even bothering to shut it down first and stood up from his desk chair, walking the short distance to his bed. He collapsed face forward, yelling into his pillow. Was this seriously happening?

After a few minutes of sulking, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. It was covered with hundreds of tiny glow in the dark stars, causing it to resemble the night sky. Despite of everything, he found himself smiling as he thought back to the day they were put up.

XXXXX

"I swear Benson, you're such a nub," groaned Sam as she peeled off yet another adhesive wax paper and sticking yet another star to the ceiling.

Beside her, Freddie scoffed. "I thought as part of me winning the bet AND you losing was that you couldn't complain to me when I asked you to do me a favor."

Reaching up to the ceiling, repeatedly, was beginning to wear him out. So far, Sam had finished more than half the wall herself, while he was working his way towards her from the other side of the room. The distance between them was getting smaller and smaller, meaning they were almost done. Freddie glanced at Sam. A fine sheet a sweat was beginning to coat her forehead and she looked really tired. He felt bad for giving her so much work. Not bad enough to let off the hook...but just enough for him to help her out. They'd been doing this for at least an hour and a half.

"I wasn't complaining...just stating a fact," replied Sam. "I mean, do you really need glow in the dark sticky things on your ceiling? Last time I checked you were thirteen, not seven." She looked at him, barely masking her contempt. Not only had he made her put forth effort, but now she was beginning to feel tightness in her arms almost as if she'd been exercising. PUCKETTS DO NOT EXERCISE!

"You should be grateful I'm even helping you," said Freddie, wiping his forehead. "I don't really have to, you know."

"Whatever...I could be at Build-A-Bra right now with Carly, but no...I'm stuck here with you doing physical labor," said Sam through her teeth. She peeled the wax paper off her final star and stuck it to the ceiling. She sighed happily and dropped down onto the bed, laying on her back.

Freddie smiled at his fully covered ceiling before falling down onto the bed next to her. He sat up, head tilted back, admiring their handiwork. Tearing his eyes away from the ceiling, he looked down at the exhausted Sam. She looked as if she had fallen asleep.

"Sam," said Freddie, softly, testing her.

"Hmm," was Sam's reply.

So she was awake. He got up off the bed and headed out of his room to the kitchen. He reappeared a few minutes later, carrying two bottles of juice and a bag of lightly salted potato chips. Suddenly, Sam bolted upright, staring at him. Freddie halted mid-step. For a second, he was startled, confused as to what caused her reaction. Then, once her eyes drifted down to what was in his hands, he smiled and walked over to her, handing her a juice. She muttered something incomprehensible and harshly unscrewed the bottle without even bothering to remove the safety seal. He watched her gulp down her drink, some dripping out the corners of her mouth and down onto her shirt. Freddie shook his head and sat down next to her. He opened his juice and lifted it to his mouth only to have it snatched away from him.

"Hey," said Freddie, glaring daggers at his blonde frenemy.

He watched her down the second bottle in under a minute, burping once she was done.

"Thanks Freddison, that hit the spot," said Sam, eying the chips. "What are those?"

"Chips, I didn't think someone with your relationship with food could miss that," replied Freddie, sarcastically.

Sam pursed her lips. "Lightly salted, huh?"

"Yes Sam...chips...that do not have as much sodium as regular chips," Freddie explained slowly.

"Never had 'em," Sam said, snatching the bag away from him. She tore open the bag, chips flying everywhere. She shoved a bunch in her mouth before shrugging, deciding they were acceptable. "Can I go now?"

Freddie shrugged. "Sure, I'll call you later if I need anything else done."

Sam rolled her eyes and stood up. "Whatevs."

Suddenly Freddie stopped her. "WAIT!"

She turned back around, annoyed. "WHAT!"

"Do you want to see them?" Freddie said, motioning up to the ceiling.

Sam heaved a sigh and looked up, too. She did just spend almost two hours of her life putting up the stupid things, she might as well she what the big deal was. She shrugged her shoulders and went to sit back on his bed. Freddie smiled, excitedly. He was expecting to have to use the terms of the bet for her to stay. He quickly got up and walked over to shut his curtains and turn off his bedroom lights. He returned to sit next to her on the bed. Her head was already tilted back, eyes widened at the pretty display. He smiled at her, enjoying the look on her face. Suddenly, she leaned fully back onto the bed, putting her hands behind her head. Soon, Freddie did the same. The chips lay forgotten between them. They stared up at the ceiling in silence, relaxing together. The silence stretched on before Freddie finally spoke.

"Cool, huh?" he said, turning his head to look at her.

Sam stayed silent for a moment before replying softly, "Yeah, I guess so."

XXXXX

Freddie shook his head at the memory, trying to clear his mind. Why did everything remind him of her? This was torture...absolute torture. He could not look anywhere, watch anything, hear anything without her and everything that happened with them invading his thoughts. He sighed and reached for his Pearphone. He pressed the talk button twice for the thousandth time in the past two days and listened to the string of dial tones he'd become accustomed to. Once again, he was awarded with, "You've reached Sam's phone. I would tell you to leave a message, but that might give the impression that I will actually listen to it." He did not groan nor sigh this time, just hung up and dropped his phone onto the floor next to his bed. At least, he'd see her tomorrow at school.

They desperately needed to talk. And by talk, he meant actually talk honestly, more honestly than they ever had before. Breathing in, he accepted what he'd been debating since the lock-in. Sam liked him. She kissed him and did not punch him afterwards. She kissed him and Gibby did not come out carrying a camera, recording another Gullible Freddie Skit. She kissed him and did not barf. She kissed him and said she was sorry. She was in love with him. His heart began to beat more rapidly. She loved him. Sam Puckett was in love him, Freddie Benson. Finally, he accepted this as fact and moved on.

How did he feel about her? He would have known if he'd fallen in love with her. Wouldn't he? Sure, in the past, there had been moments when he thought that maybe...maybe if their relationship wasn't strictly written to be structured around games, and pranks, and hatred, and masked affection...maybe if their relationship wasn't so gosh darn on the surface, they'd be good for each other. Physically, he was attracted to her. Of course he was, she was beautiful and the code name, Regina Goodbody, hadn't gone unsupported by him. Mentally, he was dependent on her. She was one of his best friends. Even back when they were more enemies than friends, they couldn't stand to be apart for more than three days. They had always found a reason to be around each other. Emotionally...

He did not know. There were things about her that absolutely irked him to no end. Things he hated. But then, there were things he loved about her. Things he wouldn't change for the world.

What did she possibly see in him? He could admit that in the past year, he'd buffed up a bit, but that didn't mean he was all of a sudden Brad Pitt. He hadn't changed much personality wise; for there were still days when he'd do nothing but play with his toy train sets. He still dressed in plaid button ups and polo shirts. He still parted his hair on the side. He hadn't really grown taller. He still said nubby things. So what changed?

XXXXX

Freddie sat alone in the courtyard where Sam had sat before she got up, shocked the life out of him, and then bolted, leaving him to suffer an onslaught of confused emotions. He didn't know how much time had passed since Sam left, but when Spencer, of all people, came out looking for him, telling him that it was time to head home, he knew he'd been sitting in silence for a while.

"Hey Fredster, you ready to go?" asked Spencer, scratching his arm. He felt dirty and could not wait to get home to shower. But after noticing Freddie's pale, sullen face, he said, "What wrong with you? Looks like you've seen a ghost." After a second, Spencer looked around, nervously. "You didn't, did you?"

Freddie shook his head and heaved a sigh. "No, I didn't see a ghost."

"Okay good," Spencer said, still looking around, defensively.

"Sam kissed me," Freddie muttered, softly.

For some reason, Spencer didn't look as shocked as he should have. "Oh, really?" Then after a moment, he added, "Well, give me the deets."

Freddie shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. We were working on our app together when I decided to test it out on Sam. It said that she was in love and when I came out here to talk about it...and you know, boost her confidence a little bit, she just...all of a sudden kissed me."

Spencer couldn't stop the grin that slowly appeared on his face. "Must have caught you off guard."

Freddie almost laughed at the understatement of the century. "You have no idea." They were quiet for a moment. "So what does this mean? She's in love with me?" He shook his head, the idea too farfetched to be possible. "She couldn't be."

"Is it really that impossible?" asked Spencer.

Freddie looked up at Spencer for the first time. Did he suffer a recent blow to the head? Had Carly and Gibby's experiment temporarily damaged his brain? "Uh...in case you've forgotten, Sam hates me."

Spencer pursed his lips together and looked up as if trying to express his strong doubt behind that statement.

"Okay, maybe not exactly hate, but she would never think of me in that way," continued Freddie.

"Just like you would never think of her in that way, right?" Spencer replied.

Freddie looked sheepish for a moment. True be told, he had thought about in that way before...many times, but he was Freddie and she was Sam. Of course, he'd fantasized about her before. Over the years, he had started to notice her more. Physically. He was a boy after all. And recently, their friendship had became something others would envy. She had matured. He was the same. What could have changed?

Freddie shrugged in reply to Spencer's question. "She'd never felt this way before...what changed?"

Spencer smirked. "About you? Nothing's changed...that's the point."

Freddie shook his head. "No, something had to have changed for her to feel this way about me?" After a second, he muttered under his breath, cynically, "If it's even true."

Spencer shook his head, exhausted. "Nope, everything is as it always was. You're the same. Sam's the same."

Their conversation was cut short by Carly calling them back inside. Freddie got up, his body feeling heavy and went inside. Spencer clapped him on the shoulder, comfortingly, and followed him.

XXXXX

Wait, thought Freddie. Was Spencer trying to tell him something? They were the same? Had she always felt this way about him? He glanced at his alarm clock, seeing that it read 10:35 p.m. At least, he'd see her tomorrow. He needed to see her. His heart picked up speed once again when he realized that somewhere...he did not know where...but somewhere, Sam was probably thinking about him, and desperately needing to see him, too.

Sam could not think straight. She couldn't sleep, and she couldn't for the life of her eat. Every time she stopped to think, she thought of him. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him. Every time she tasted something delicious, she remembered tasting him. She was in hell and there was no way out. There was no going back. Since when did she make dumb decisions? Since when did she act so out of character? Since when did she care this much? FREDDIE. She groaned, almost to the point of yelling. She was thinking again. And only one thing happened when she began thinking. FREDDIE BENSON. FREDDIE BENSON. FREDDIE BENSON. Why o' why did it have to be Freddie Benson?

"Miss Puckett, lights out in five minutes," spoke a calm voice from the hallway.

Sam acknowledged her with a grunt before dropping down onto the extremely firm bed, placing her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. She had recently began to fear sleep. She already knew what she'd dream about. Either it'd be of Freddie rejecting her, or Freddie returning her feelings. She didn't know which she feared the most.

What could he possibly think of her, now? First, she's his crazy friend who steals his school lunches. Next, she's his crazy friend who steals kisses out in the school courtyard.

Would he stop being her friend? Would their relationship turn into his and Carly's relationship, in which one friend pines after the other friend who is absolutely uninterested? Would he use her feelings for him against her?

Suddenly the lights in her room went out, signaling that it was time for bed. She laid down, reluctantly. Staring up at the ceiling she could not help but picture Freddie's ceiling and the glowing stars that illuminated his room. There she goes again, thinking about him. Would it ever stop?

She'd have to face him eventually, but for now, she'd happily take pain and isolation as opposed to just pain.

The halls of Ridgeway High School was filled with students, moving to and fro, disappearing and reappearing through doors and entryways. Freddie stood at his locker, shaking slightly as he put away his books. He'd see her in just a few minutes. The girl that drives him insane day in and day out. The girl he misses beyond comprehension. Vaguely, he noticed Carly walk right passed him and into their first class without so much as a, 'how do you do?' It was then that he realized that he hadn't seen her since the lock-in either. He walked in after her, giving her a small smile before sitting down at his desk. Immediately, he realized that Sam was nowhere to be seen. His expression darkened, already knowing.

She was ditching school.

His heart sped faster and at the same time felt as if it had dropped into his stomach. He began breathing faster, his nostrils flaring. Was she toying with him? Did she want him to go crazy? He was growing exceedingly tired of this game she'd started. Whatever it was, it wasn't funny. He could practically picture her right now laughing, going through the steps of her devious plan. Step one, be nice to the nub. Step two, trick the nub into thinking your in love with someone. Step three, kiss the nub, effectively driving him crazy. Step four, ignore the nub. Step five, sit back and laugh as he falls to pieces for my personal enjoyment.

His knees began to bounce up and down, furiously. He could not wait until school was over. There was no way he was going to let her keep doing this to him. He wouldn't sleep until he found her.

Sam walked through the white halls, being escorted on both sides by two tall, burly security men dressed in white from head to toe. She felt as if she was on her way to her execution. Maybe, she was. Today began the weekdays, meaning today she was to meet with the psychiatrist for the first time. She was well beyond the point of secrets, beating around the bush, and avoiding the obvious. So, she decided to come clean about her feelings...about her feelings for Freddie...about everything.

"Hello, Samantha. Please, have a seat," said the doctor in a friendly tone.

Sam sat across from the woman, reaching onto the doctor's desk to get a peppermint. Once she put it in her mouth, she immediately spit it out, remembering that Freddie's lips had tasted slightly minty the night of the lock-in.

"What? Don't you like peppermint?" asked the doctor, kindly.

"Not anymore," Sam replied, darkly.

The doctor didn't react, but instead, held her composure, smiling at Sam, expectantly.

Finally, the doctor began, "So Samantha, why are here?"

"It's just Sam," she said, sternly.

"Okay Sam, why are here?" asked the doctor.

After a minute of silence, Sam finally gave in, accepting the fact that she needed all the help she could get. "I did something incredibly stupid."

The doctor nodded. "Okay. Why do you think this thing you did was stupid?"

"Incredibly stupid," Sam corrected her. At the doctor's nod, she continued. "It was stupid because I didn't plan to do it and now I've ruined everything."

"Did you do something dangerous?" asked the doctor.

"Dangerous to society? No," said Sam. "Dangerous to my piece of mind? Yes."

The doctor nodded and scribbled something down on a notepad. "Tell me Sam, did this thing you did affect anyone else?"

Only the most important person in my life. "Yes," Sam answered. "He didn't even..." She trailed off.

"So this has something to do with a boy," said the doctor, her scribbling getting more and more fast. "What did you do Sam? You can tell me. Whatever you share in this room stays here."

Sam closed her eyes, regretting it almost immediately when she pictured Freddie's startled expression. "I kissed him."

The doctor nodded, this time, not writing anything down. "I see."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I kissed him, ruining not only our friendship, but our friendship with our other best friend."

"This boy is your best friend?" asked the doctor. Sam nodded. "I see. And this other best friend you speak of, can you tell about them?"

"She's awesome. Really cool, really fun, really sweet. She's amazing..." Sam paused. "And she's going to kill me."

The doctor tilted her head. "Why is that?"

"Because this boy, our friend, used to date her," Sam spoke, coldly. "Not to mention, this boy, our friend, has been in love with her since we were twelve."

At this, the doctor began to write again. "And how does your girl friend feel about the boy?"

Sam knotted her eyebrows in concentration. She shrugged. "I guess she likes him. Not in that way, but they did date, so..."

"Why did they break up?" asked the doctor, seeing Sam's confusion.

Sam looked down at her shoes, finding them really interesting all of a sudden. "There was his whole thing about him getting hit by a taco truck, while he was trying to save her, and she sort of "fell in love" with him after years of turning him down." The doctor nodded, listening, expecting her to continue, so she did. "Then they broke up because I convinced him that she wasn't in love with him, but instead, in love with what he did."

"Did you say that you convinced him?" asked the doctor.

"Yeah, so what?" Sam said, defensively. "It was true!"

"Okay..." said the doctor, wanting to keep her calm. "Sam, why don't you tell me about the boy?"

"The nub?" said Sam, unsure. The doctor waited. "I don't know...what do you wanna know about him?"

"I want to know what you love about him," answered the doctor.

Sam gulped, about to yell, saying that she never said anything about being in love with him, but in an effort to save time, she just answered plainly. "He's...I don't know. I guess I feel that way about him because he's nothing like me." After a second, Sam smiled widely, for the first time in days. "He has this nubby brown hair that's always parted and I have this totally awesome hair that moves when I do."

The doctor, not expecting that at all, just sat there in momentary shock. "Hair?"

"Yeah," said Sam. Then she got serious. "Well no, but it is true that he's nothing like me. And I guess, I sort of...like that."

The doctor nodded, writing something down. "Is there anything else you love about him?"

"Well, apart from the obvious, my heart pounds and legs shake when I'm around him, chiz...I like that he accepts me for who I am. Even though, he constantly complains about the things I do, he never makes me feel like he's really complaining about me."

"That's interesting, can you elaborate?"

Sam thought back for a moment. "There was this one time where we were forced into sharing a locker and I rigged it with a bunch of crazy equipment and stuff. I framed him for it, and he didn't even rat me out. Or this one time when I really really needed to punch something after two of the worst teachers in school became our co-principals and, instead of punching someone else or punching a locker, which would get me into trouble, he let me punch him. Or this one time, I slapped him for trying to get me to fire a bunch of kids I hired to do work for very little pay. Instead, of completely pushing me away, he got me to apologize, something I very rarely do."

"Wait, did you say slapped him?" asked the doctor, writing something down, shaking her head.

Sam looked away ashamed for a second before waving the topic off with a swipe of a hand. "Yeah, me and him...we already talked about that. We're good now and I don't do that anymore."

"Sam, why'd you ever hit him in the first place?"

Sam shrugged, thinking about it. "I guess it started as a way to get him to hate me. Then, I guess it sort of became normal for us."

"Why did you want him to hate you?"

"I just thought that...that if he hated me, I could convince myself that the reason he liked Carly more than me was because she was nice and I wasn't. You know, not because of...you know her just being better."

The doctor nodded, furiously, motioning for Sam to continue.

"And I don't know, I guess it worked for a while," said Sam. "Until we agreed that I had to stop hitting him. I don't know, we started being kinder to each other and sometimes, I got the feeling that he...you know...felt that way about me, too."

"Do you think you'll ever try being with him?" asked the doctor, softly as to not rile her up. "In that way?"

Sam shrugged, thinking. She could picture it now. Her walking around in skirts and ordering salads, being Freddie's little girlfriend. "No, because I know I'm not his type." Even though, she knew that if he wanted it, she wouldn't be able to resist. She'd be his stupid little girlfriend in a heart beat.

"His type?"

"Yes, Fr...I mean he likes girly girls. Girls that dress nice and wear make-up. And drink diet soda," said Sam, crossing her arms over her chest. "There's no way I'm drinking diet anything."

The doctor looked confused again. "Okay...Sam, can you tell me about the day you kissed him?"

Sam groaned. This was going to be a long long session.

After minimal interaction with Carly at school, Freddie sat in his bedroom, anxiously waiting to hear from Sam. After an entire day of school without her, he was reaching his time without Sam limit they'd unconsciously set years ago. Now, he didn't care if she was pranking him. He just needed to hear from her. He looked at his phone again. He'd called her, he'd texted her. He'd even stopped by her house on his way home from school. He was beginning to get worried. What if she wasn't pranking him? What if she was in love with him, but was for some reason scared to face him? What did she think he would do once they talked, scream at her? Be cruel? That was totally not his MO. It all became crystal clear to him. She was afraid. Just like he was afraid.

He got up and decided to question Carly about Sam's whereabouts. Surely, Sam had called Carly. Once Freddie was across the hall, he was bombarded with questions and accusations, none of which he appreciated. After listening to Carly rant, he realized there was a way for him to find Sam. Why hadn't he thought of it before? What was his GPA again?

After finding out she had checked herself into Troubled Waters Mental Hospital, he, Carly, and Gibby set out to bring her home.

Hours passed before he was by himself again, free to go over everything in his head. His stomach began to feel funny again as he thought back to what happened when he, Carly and Gibby got there. With Gibby thoroughly occupied, trying to distract the nurse that sat at the front desk, he and Carly had separated, hoping to cover more ground and find Sam, quickly. After peeking inside room after room, completely horrified by some of the sights that awaited him, he finally heard a loud chant that made him stop in his tracks.

"Sam loves Freddie! Sam loves Freddie..." he heard being screamed by none other than Carly. She had found Sam and had apparently already confirmed what he'd been stressing over for the past few days. It was true. Sam Puckett was in love with him. Breathing deeply, he readied himself, unsuccessfully trying to calm his wildly beating heart and opened the door to her room.

What happened next did nothing to ease the tension he'd felt since the lock-in. She told him that yes, she did like him, but no, she'd never be his "stupid little girlfriend". He'd joked and told her that she had always been crazy and her actions proved that, and that things wouldn't be different. But the thing was, everything was already different. He felt different. Still, he needed to know more. He knew for a fact that this incident would resurface sooner or later. I mean look at what happened after they agreed to never speak of their first kiss again. Who knows it'd probably be an interference from Carly again to make them open up to each other.

"Sam loves me," Freddie said, kicking off his shoes, and lying back on his bed. Thinking back, he added with a smile. "Damn, she looked good today."

His heart fluttered as he thought back to when he'd touched her shoulder. At the time, he hadn't known what caused him to do it. Now, he knew. He had needed to make sure she still felt the same. Thinking back further to when she had first suggested that she help him and Brad with their project, he smirked, realizing that the same went for that occasion. He had touched her to make sure she was still Sam. He knew what she felt like, and on both occasions, he was pleased. She was still his Sam. He sighed. Even though he saw her today, which was like a breath of fresh air, he still missed her.

Suddenly his phone vibrated, alerting him he had a text message. Tapping his Pearphone, he read:

From: Brad

To: Freddie

Did you all find Sam? Is she okay?

XXXXX

From: Freddie

To: Brad

Yeah, she's fine.

XXXXX

From: Brad

To: Freddie

Good...I was worried. Where is she? She hasn't returned any of my calls.

XXXXX

Freddie raised an eyebrow, feeling uneasy all of a sudden.

From: Freddie

To: Brad

Ummm...she's just been busy. Give her a few days.

XXXXX

From: Brad

To: Freddie

I really need to talk to her, dude. I want to make sure she's not upset about what happened between us at the lock-in.

XXXXX

Now, he had Freddie's full attention. Rapidly, Freddie texted him back.

From: Freddie

To: Brad

Wut do u mean? Wut happened?

XXXXX

From: Brad

To: Freddie

Sorry, it's personal. I just really need to see her.

XXXXX

Personal? Sam and Brad had personal issues? What the hell? By now, Freddie was off his bed, pacing around his room.

From: Freddie

To: Brad

What happened!

XXXXX

From: Brad

To: Freddie

Nevermind. I'll just talk to her when I see her.

XXXXX

Freddie was stunned. What the hell happened at the lock-in with Brad and Sam? Suddenly, he remembered Carly's ill-riddened plan to get Brad and Sam together by locking them together in a dark room...alone. His heart sped up again. How had he forgotten that? Did something happened between them? He chuckled, cynically. Of course something happened. Brad said so himself. He was suddenly overcome by that feeling again. The feeling he felt when he learned Sam had begun talking to Pete again. The feeling he felt when he heard her announce that she had a little crush on Spencer. The feeling he felt at the lock-in when he first realized that Sam was probably in love with Brad. Freddie was very familiar with the feeling, in fact. JEALOUSY. What a frustrating mess it was...

Hundreds of different scenarios began filling up his mind, each one more daunting than the last. That's when he knew for sure. He didn't want Sam with any other guy. He desperately tried to wash away the frenetic feelings by picturing Sam's face as she pulled away from him after she had kissed him. She wants you, Freddie tried to convince himself. She wants you, no one else.

Closing his eyes, he began to relax. He needed to calm down. He needed some air. He needed to talk to Sam. Again. Only this time, he felt for some strong reason that he needed to let her know exactly how he felt about her.

The next night, he, Spencer, Carly, and Gibby were back at Troubled Waters Mental Institution, attempting to check Sam out by use of trickery and deceit. They walked in and Freddie saw her again. This time, he dressed a little nicer and did something different with his hair. He wanted to make himself look as good to her as she did to him. There was no way he was going to stand idly by and watch something...something that sucks...go down between her and Brad. He wanted her. At that moment, Freddie wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything. He wanted her so bad, it was literally driving him mad.

Did he love her? The question kept entering his mind. He was attracted to her. And he wanted her in more ways than one, that was for damn sure. But did he love her?

As he watched Spencer get busted for trying to impersonate Sam's mom, he finally decided to go there. To that special place in his heart that he reserved for Sam the day they shared their first kiss out on his balcony. As soon as he opened himself up to the feeling, he felt it for her. It washed through him, reaching every part of his body and soul. He grinned, welcoming it. He glanced over at her and the feeling intensified. He remembered the day they first met and how she fell off the monkey bars and didn't shed a tear. He remembered their first argument and how they didn't speak for three days. And he remembered how after the three days they both reached an unspoken agreement to forget about whatever it was that they were fighting about. He remembered their first kiss. He smiled again, looking briefly at the floor sheepishly, almost certain everyone in the room knew he was crazy in love with the blonde headed demon. He remembered fighting with her over meat and corn in a simulated spaceship. He remembered the pleasant feeling that followed after the pain subsided from her jumping on top of him. He remembered the kiss at the lock-in. He loved her. And she loved him, which was the best part.

Before he knew it, the webshow had started. It was decided. He was going to tell her exactly how he felt before he left that night. He'd rather do it somewhere special like out on their balcony, but no matter, if he had to confess his love for her in a mental institution, so be it. She had to know, and he had to tell her.

Sam couldn't believe her friends messed up this bad. As soon as she saw Spencer walk through the door, she knew it wouldn't work. She watched unamused as Spencer approached the receptionist desk. Suddenly, something in the corner of her eye caught her attention and wouldn't let go. She turned her head sharply and quickly appraised him. Freddie? He changed his hair...and his clothes. Why was he doing this to her? She scoffed. It was probably to get back at her for the numerous humiliations she put him through in the past. She crossed her arms over her chest, angry. She knew it would come to this. His glory and her utter embarrassment. She was almost happy when their plan to get her out didn't work. At least, it meant she didn't have to leave just yet and face Freddie again. There was no way, even after their little talk, he'd let this go. She sighed. Just when their friendship was getting good, she had to go and ruin it.

She should have just listened to Brad's advice, however intrusive and out of place it was. When Freddie and Carly had geniusly decided to try and hook her and Brad up like they were a couple of horses at a barn, she explained to Brad the situation, not using Freddie's name of course, and he gave her kind advice about how to go about pursuing someone you like.

XXXXX

"I don't do nice, or helpful," said Sam, bitterly. "And I especially don't do considerate. This entire week has been absolute hell. You don't know me that well, but if you did, you'd be proud."

"Then why don't you get his attention by being yourself," said Brad, sitting down next to her. At Sam's silence, he went on. "For example, when I like a girl, I make her hefty amounts of fudge and write her love letters."

"Hey, I made him fresh guacamole today AND I always give him cards on his birthday!" said Sam, harshly. But as soon as the words escaped her mouth, she realized that she just might have clued Brad in on who it was she was in love with.

"Oh," said Brad, fully understanding what had been going on. Sam was in love with Freddie. It all made sense. "Well, seeing that it's Freddie you're in love with, I think you should just tell him. Wait for the right time...and then, just tell him. Simple."

Sam scoffed. "Gee thanks. You're a real pill, Dr. Phil. What do you know? This could potentially ruin everything."

"First of all, I think you're making too much of a deal about this," said Brad. "It's Freddie for Pete's sake. What? Are you scared?" Then he chuckled. He had the nerve, the audacity to laugh at her. Seeing her scorned expression, Brad felt guilty. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't hav-"

Growling, Sam stood up and left. Everyone was pissing her off today and she felt no reason to sit around and take it from someone who barely knew her. She needed to find Carly and set that girl in her place.

The webshow had begun and to everyones surprise, especially Sam and Freddie's, Carly decided to take a little detour from the planned events to discuss Sam's feelings for Freddie live on the air in front of millions of people. Sam visibly shrunk into herself, trying to disappear, while Freddie stood steady, clearly upset though. His knuckles were turning white, he was holding onto the camera so tight. After a strange video from a fan named Goopy Gilbert, Sam had had enough and walked on screen.

"Okay look, I don't care how many iCarly fans say I'm not insane for liking Freddie 'cause I know I am," Sam said, lying through her teeth. She really didn't plan on having to deal with her feelings in front of millions of people. Thanks a lot Carly.

Freddie watched her as she put herself out there. Her vulnerability at the moment was papable, and he couldn't let her suffer alone. Swallowing his pride and the enormous amount of fear that crept up inside of him, he said, "Wait, wait, wait. Let's take one more chat."

Sam groaned, "I don't want..."

"Just one more," said Freddie, pleadingly. He handed Carly the camera with her muttering to him, "Be nice." He brushed Carly's comment off, moving away.

He picked up his Pearpad and quickly linked it to the iCarly website. Opening the chat, he felt his heart stutter against his chest. This was the moment of truth. Of course, when he'd pictured this moment in his mind, he never thought he'd be doing this on their webshow, which he still firmly believed was conducted very professionally.

"Hey, it's me Freddie. So a lot of people are talking about me and Sam and whether or not we should date. And a lot of you are wondering whether Sam is crazy for wanting to," started Freddie. "But nobody's asked me how I feel."

Sam looked embarrassed for a moment before covering it up with anger. "We talked about it."

Freddie shook his head, smiling slightly. "No, you told me how you feel while you ate a quesadilla."

Sam stepped forward, talking to the camera seriously. "The quesadillas here are amazing."

Freddie started talking again and Sam breathed in deep. Here she was, her emotions spiralling out of control and all eyes were focused on her. The more Freddie spoke, the sicker she felt.

"Though Sam's feelings are important, how I feel is important, too," said Freddie, trying desperately to get his point across.

Sam had had enough. "Okay, Benson we get it. You want to humiliate in front of tons of people, go ahead cause I don't-" Sam's heart nearly stopped when she was cut off in the best possible way. He'd cut her off in the same way she'd cut him off that night at the lock-in.

Freddie didn't know what came over him. All he knew was that he needed her to shut up and he needed to feel her lips on his. He smirked into the kiss. Way to kill two birds with one stone. Realizing they were in a room filled with people AND they were live on the air, Freddie pulled back, the smirk still on his face.

Sam looked up at him, unsure. "You really mean that?"

Freddie nodded, slowly. "Hmhm...I guess we're both insane."

Sam smiled and then let go of his shoulders. "So, now what?"

Freddie stared down at her, the happiest he'd felt in ages. He smiled at her, suggestively, meaning to say, "We could kiss some more." But he was broken out of his musings by the sound of the world's biggest Seddie fan.

"SEDDIE," Goopy Gilbert yelled. Suddenly, Freddie and Sam heard another voice in the background. "SPAGETTI!"

They laughed as Carly concluded the webshow on the other side of the room. Sam turned back to Freddie and pulled him down for another kiss. After, they broke apart and just held each other for a minute. Swallowing harshly, Freddie leaned forward as if to whisper in Sam's ear.

"Sam I..." he trailed off, breathing rapidly.

Sam rolled her eyes and pulled away from. "Freddie I..." She copied him, breathing rapidly. "Too." Freddie rolled his eyes, pulling her to him.

"You know, seeing that you can't get out until your mom gets back," said Freddie, his eyes mischievous. "I could always check myself in. I am crazy, after all."

Sam laughed. "Why would you want to do that?"

Freddie shrugged, cutely.

"Well, don't get any ideas Benson. I'm not going to sneak into your room, if that's what you're thinking," said Sam, sternly. Her smile gave her away, though.

Freddie smirked, leaning down for one more kiss. "Whatever. Just don't keep me waiting, Puckett."

Author's Note:

So, there you have it. iLost My Mind = My favorite Seddie episode ever. So, in the oneshot, you have a lot of drama, a lot of romance, a lot of friendship, but not a lot of humor. All the humor was in the episode. Hope you liked the flashbacks and the Seddie scene references from the previous seasons. Next up, I will tackle iDate Sam and Freddie., which I will try to keep on the humorous side. Hopefully, writing it will help me salvage my opinion of the episode (I did not much care for it). Thank you so much for reading.

Chapter Title was inspired by The Beatles - I Want You (She's So Heavy)...if you haven't heard, I highly recommend it.

I'd love to hear what you all thought of this. LoveB.