Your name means Beautiful and Gentle.
When you Mother was in labor with you we argued about your name.
She wanted Mariah. Because it had been a bitter pregnancy, fraught with problems.
You, my dear child, caused us so much stress that I took six months off of work.
Believe it or not I was too frightened to leave your side.
For a long time we were afraid we were going to lose you.
We had underestimated you, not only did you pull through but you were born a healthy eight pounds, ten ounces, with tons of hair.
It was quite obvious to us then just how exquisite you were.
I carry your baby photo everywhere's I go.
But I could never forget just who I'm fighting for.
I don't even know who you are anymore.
I regret not being around for you Naomi.
Being a father is a privilege, one I abused.
I was off wining and dining with the bad guys, while you grew up waiting for me at home.
Every night I thought of you.
I'd sing your lullaby to the night sky no matter where I was.
Every day I'd carry on for you.
The love I had for you was the only real thing I had to hold onto.
Your beautiful face and existence kept me holding on in the most dire of situations.
My dearest Naomi, things have never been easy for us have they?
I fought for you every step of the way.
But that's not enough in the end is it?
You needed a Daddy. Not a hero.
I was such a fool.
Never once did I ever stop loving you or wanting you.
I missed you so much throughout the years.
I even botched a Covert Mission when your birthday came around and I wasn't able to see you blow out the candles on your fifth birthday cake.
Your Mother sent me pictures.
They made me so sad. But I treasured them.
At least I had some part of you. I had your memories in my pocket.
But nothing could replace holding you in my arms.
You've grown up so much.
I have never been so proud in my entire life than when you graduated from High School and got accepted into Oxford.
Don't try to follow in my footsteps though my dear.
You leave a trail of pain behind you.
You leave the ones you love the most in a world of hurt.
You know that better than anyone.
If you're reading this now, it means I'm not coming home.
I love you my darling child.
And I am sorry for all the pain I've caused you.
It was never my intention.
You have always been my very heart.
You have always been the strongest member in this broken up family of ours.
You always will be.
I want you to remember this for the rest of your life, you are beautiful, smart, deserving, worthy, and perfect in everyway.
I will always love you. I will always be watching out for you-just like when you got caught driving drunk when you were thirteen, who did you think bailed you out? Casper?
You have made me so proud.
Naomi, I need you to do me a favor. Always carry a knife with you. Always know that you deserve respect. Do not let people walk all over you. Never give your dignity away. Be slow to judge and quick to listen. If you think something is wrong, or off, something is. Always follow your gut. Running will not solve all your problems, nor will violence.
I've left you everything I had. I wanted to make sure you didn't have to work a day in your entire life.
You are the only thing that matters to me in this entire world. No matter what happens, my love for you will not change. It's set in stone forever. You are my everything, and I tried my damn hardest to keep you safe. My angel, how I've longed ot hold you in my arms, to dance with you, to make you laugh like I use to.
I can't describe how hard it was to me to see you walk down that aisle alone in your wedding dress with no one to give you away. But you stood tall and proud and held your head high. You really are my child. I can see me in every line of your face. You were wearing my pants under your dress and my shoes as well. You never were one for tradition. Unlike me. I always knew letting you go was going to be difficult, but I never thought I'd want to rip the guys throat out.
I wanted you to myself. I didn't trust him to not hurt you. That's all I ever wanted was to protect you from every hurt. Even if that meant me being an irresponsible parent. All I ever hoped for was your happiness. You were all that mattered to me, even when I didn't show it.
When you were eight you broke your back. I didn't get the news for three weeks because my boss didn't find it fit to tell me while I was in the field. But I flew straight home and requested a year off work to take care of you. And I did. It killed me to see my little girl in a wheel chair. I knew it was my fault, had I been there you would have never been hit by that car.
Sitting here as I write this, I feel like someone has ripped my heart out. But that's okay. Cause I'm sending it to you. Because you always had me wrapped around your little finger.
Naomi, I love you.
Goodbye my darling. See you on the otherside.
Keep on going on my dear, and remember who you are.
Your Daddy, who loves you.
I may not be around anymore, but Gibbs he'll take care of you now baby doll.
Six weeks later.
"This is for you, Naomi." Gibbs siad quietly, sitting across from her at his desk. She was twenty-three, but she looked so small and fragile. She was tiny, with huge brown eyes (Obviously her Father's), and blonde hair, round eyes and a straight nose. An oval shaped face, with a definite jaw-line. A curved neck placed on wide shoulders. She was beautiful. He watched as she read the letter her Father wrote only weeks ago, fearing for his life.
He looked down, Kort had known he wasn't going to make it out of this one alive, Cruz had tracked him down eventually, and put an end to his existence. Gibbs just wondered when Ziva would stop looking for Cruz. Because he was as dead as Trent was. He focused his attention back on the young woman sat in front of him, her hands were shaking.
She laughed humorlessly.
"What's so funny?"
She sniffled, "He wasn't even my real Dad. My Mom had a few affairs she never told him about. I just got tested last month. I'm not his." Tears fell. "It's not fair. I wish I was."
Gibbs tapped the paper, "Seems like you are to me."
"I wish he was there more. I loved him so much. He was my world. I was always a daddy's girl." She smiled fondly.
"He loved you."