I received an email a few weeks ago that blew me away.
So I will keep this note simple.
Chloe from Ireland, this chapter is dedicated to you. I hope you find that sparkle that comes with Christmas again. All my love, to you and your kind soul!
Perhaps we're like snowflakes, we melt away in the sun
What's your favourite thing about Christmas?
Is it the way the shops all decorate the front windows in their stores? How sometimes the town council will hang lights in the trees or mount giant Santa's on the rooftops. You wake up and your Mum has made fresh Christmas shaped cookies, or your Dad sneaks home pudding in the night time?
It feels good though doesn't it? People seem happier, nicer, they smile at you when you bring the Christmas decorations to the cashier. They ask you what your plans are for the holidays. They hold their umbrellas over your head if the snow starts to fall. People open doors, people give their cabs up for you, people laugh at your Christmas jokes. Every store you walk out of says goodbye with 'happy holidays'. There are carols playing through the town speakers, there are messages written across frosted car windows, and tinsel caught in street sweepers.
Amongst all the hype, and the Christmas wishes, and then running to get the Christmas ham at the last minute, there is also the part of the holidays, that remind us of the things we've tried all year to forget. The part where it reminds us of the people we've lost, of the friends that left, and the things we may have missed out on.
Where do you spend Christmas? Are you home or away? Are you travelling? Are you sitting in a bar with strangers watching Scrooge, are you sleeping in the middle of your parents listening to the carols on TV, are you drinking margaritas with the friends you've had since high school, are you decorating Christmas cakes with your children, are you exchanging gifts with loved ones or kissing the one you love under mistletoe? Well however way you spend the holidays, don't forget, that even if sometimes things weigh heavy on our hearts, there are always people out there, who are hoping you have a most wonderful holiday.
When Quinn had been younger, there had been a Christmas where she had been arguing with Frannie over what to put on her Santa list. Her grandfather had separated them both for twenty minutes, because their bickering had been giving him a headache. As Quinn huffed in the corner, he had knelt down beside her and asked why she was getting so mad over something so silly. She had replied it was because she wanted a new camera so badly. Her Pop had looked at her then, he had said that there were many children just like her that wouldn't get what they wanted for Christmas. He said that some of them might not even get any food to have, let alone present's. Quinn had been shocked, she had asked what on earth could she possibly do to rectify that. It was the fist time her grandfather had shown any sort of religious faith. He had taken her hand, and he had said,
"Well, you pray Quinnie. You pray that people less fortunate will have a little bit of relief,"
Quinn had stared at him for a while, she had then asked, that if everyone did that wouldn't the lord get a little bit frustrated, "Who says thanks to him Pop?" she had asked.
Her grandfather had smiled and told her a story.
There was a small tale, he had heard about from his travels through London, years ago. About father John, the vicar in St Paul's church. The day after Christmas he had been looking at the nativity scene and realized that the baby Jesus was missing. Panicked he had decided to call the police, but just as he was about to make the call, he caught sight of a small boy, by the name of Nathan who visited the church with his parents every Sunday. Sure enough there was Nathan, with a red wagon, and inside the wagon was the figure of the baby Jesus.
"Nathan," father John had asked him, "Where did you get the baby Jesus?"
Nathan had looked and smiled, "From the church," he had replied.
"And why would you take him?"
Nathan looked at the vicar with great big eyes, "Well father, I prayed to lord Jesus the other week. I said if he brought me a red wagon, I would give him a ride around the block to thank him,"
Quinn had never forgotten that story. It reminded her every year to be thankful. To count her blessings. To remember that even if sometimes she felt like she had nothing, there were people in the world worse off, and it was up to her, to pray that maybe one day, they could have the things she had as well.
She missed her grandfather, she missed the way he would show up to every Christmas lunch wearing a Christmas tie. She missed the way he would sprinkle dusted snowflakes in her hair after dessert, how he insisted she always looked prettier than the lights on their balcony, and how he would sit her down after dinner and ask to hear about the stars.
"Tell me Quinnie," he would say, "The greatest star of all, tell me the story behind it,"
And she would sit for the next hour, talking about how the star of Nazareth led the three wise men to baby Jesus in the stable. Then they would talk about creating a high powered sleigh, about how her Dad looked more like Santa every year, and in recent years, how he wanted to turn Kurt into an elf and put him on display.
Her grandfather brought the joy, and now she was just trying to figure out how to find the same joy he had always brought.
"I don't know what to get Blaine for Christmas,"
Quinn stopped staring at the small little train revolving around the Christmas tree. She swore the Lima mall Christmas decorations got more intense as the years went on.
Kurt looked distraught.
"Well what do you want to get him?" Quinn asked, smirking at his worried little face.
"Something that says, hey I love you, but I don't want to be so over the top that he gets all oh what did you do this for blah blah…"
"I still think you should dress up in santa lingerie," Santana mused, shaking a snow globe that was sitting on the shelf beside them.
He rolled his eyes, "Just because that's your present for Brittany,"
She grinned, "That's not the only thing I'm giving her,"
"What are you going to do, put on a little red nose as well and ask to ride her sleigh?" Quinn asked, trying so hard to keep a serious face.
"Can we please get back to Blaine," Kurt insisted.
"Oh Kurtis," Santana sighed, "He loves you. Why don't you just add to his bow tie collection?"
Quinn snorted, "Please, I think his parents help that collection every year,"
Kurt groaned, "You two are suppose to be helping!"
"Well maybe if we had of picked somewhere else to shop!"
"Lima mall is fine," Quinn responded, "It's got plenty of shops,"
"Too many," Kurt replied, "The choices then become more difficult,"
"No the choices are difficult because you're making such a big deal about it,"
"Well what are you getting Rachel?" he shot back, "Miss I may as well be Santa?"
Quinn sighed, he'd got her. "I haven't decided yet," she replied, folding her arms.
"And they say the gay can shop," Santana sighed.
"It's Christmas time!" Mr Schuester grinned, sidestepping around Kurt who had been struggling with a box of bell balls.
"Way to state the obvious Mr Schue," Santana responded eyeing him up and down.
"What?" Will shrugged, "You don't like the antlers?"
"Or the over the top sweater," Kurt sighed, placing the box on the piano.
"Oh leave him be," Blaine grinned moving towards him, "He's just just celebrating,"
"Thank you Blaine!" he smiled, "At least someone is in the spirit!"
"Don't mind Kurt," Rachel said, hopping over to the box to sift through some more decorations, "He's just nervous about the Glee Christmas Special,"
Kurt eyed her, "Says the one who has been practicing every day since the crack of dawn,"
Rachel stared at him briefly, biting her tongue.
"All of you calm down," Quinn sighed, throwing her school bag in the corner, it was nice of Ms Pillsbury to ask how she was feeling this time of year, but having the fact this was her first christmas without her grandfather brought to her attention in a small 'Quinn I know this a difficult time', was the last thing she needed to hear.
"We have more pressing issues,"
"Like what?" Puck asked grinning as he side swiped Rachel and made her drop and ball balls.
She scowled as he picked them up and began juggling them in front of her.
"Like the fact we need to start todays lesson with a song," Quinn smirked.
Mr Schuester grinned, "Exactly what I was thinking!"
"I'm thinking we've all turned into the most cheesiest group of people on the entire planet," Santana sighed.
"You love it," Kurt called and she rolled her eyes.
"Not love, wants it," Mercedes smiled walking over to Quinn and nudging her. "I have the perfect start,"
Quinn nodded at her, "I think this tree needs some music to finish off the decorations,"
Before she had even indicated what song Mercedes wanted to sing, Brad had already started the music.
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
Quinn was staring at Rachel as she danced around with Kurt and Blaine. Maybe this Christmas she would get her back for good. She really did not want or need anything else.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
Santana grabbed some tinsel from the box and placed it around Brittanys neck pulling her towards her. This is what Christmas was all about wasn't it? Spending it with the people you love most.
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I don't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeers click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me...
What do you wish for on chrsitmas? Toys, cars, love, food, clothes? More important do you ask every Christmas, or do you thank? What are you thankful for?
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is...
The New Directions had sung the song and the entire room had been decorated. All it had taken was some music, their voices and the Choir room had never looked better.
"I thought I could hear canaries dying,"
Quinn bit her lip as they all stopped short of themselves to see that Sue had made herself present.
"Come on Sue, its Christmas," Mr Schuester said as he opened his arms.
Sue looked at him as though she either had no idea what a hug looked like or whether a hug for him would be the worst thing that could happen.
"I know its Christmas, that's why I'm here,"
Mr Schuester frowned, "I'm a little confused,"
"I need recruits," she said, "For all of you to sing at the homeless shelter I will be volunteering at,"
The glee club turned remarkably silent.
"That's really nice of you Ms Sylvester," Tina said quietly, as she wrapped her arms around Mike's waist leaning into him.
"It's the least I can do," she replied, standing a little taller, "I just want to forget the fact my sister Jean isn't with me this year, and I think giving back will help me do that,"
"What do you want us to do?" Finn asked.
"Sing," Sue replied glaring at him as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Bring some cheer to their lives. I know there's some of you who have been through a lot this year, and be as you will, it might be nice to see that other people have done it a lot tougher,"
Quinn immediately felt Sue's eyes fall directly over her and it was all she could do not to draw Rachel into her. She wrapped her up in her arms and squeezed lightly, burying her face into the crook of her neck. Rachel seemed to smile at the gesture.
"We'll start making a playlist Ms Sylvester," Sam piped up and immediately everyone looked at him.
"I think it's a great idea," Will nodded.
"Settled then," Sue said, clapping her hands, "I'll pin the details to each of your lockers,"
"You know where our lockers are?" Santana responded.
"Yes I had Becky follow each other of you and mark which ones were the Glee Clubs for future reference,"
Brittany turned lightly, "So that wasn't Pincha following me?"
Santana snorted with laughter.
"Whose Pincha?" Artie asked, one eye brow raised.
"I love you," Santana laughed, kissing her, "Pincha doesn't exist, it was Britt's childhood friend,"
"But I thought…"
"Baby you kill my life," Santana cut her off and she wrapped the tinsel around her head, as Brittany fell into her.
"I trust you will rehearse all day," Sue said abruptly.
"All day," Puck moaned, "We can't rehearse all day!"
"I'll wave your detention for the rest of the week if you do," she replied and immediately his eyes lit up.
"Well guys I guess we're rehearsing all day!"
Finn and Artie rolled their eyes.
"I'll be back to check on you tomorrow," Sue said and with that she glared at Schuester one more time in his Christmas sweater and antlers before stomping from the room.
"Does anyone think she's the Grinch's twin?" Mike asked.
"Come on guys, this is a tough time for Ms Sylvester, be nice, and its good to help, its always good to help,"
"But what about the Glee spectacular?" Mercedes asked.
"That is still on," Mr Schuester assured them, "But we're the New Directions, we have multitasking down to a fine art!"
Kurt sighed, "Well tell me to dress up as an elf and I'm out,"
"Oh but I thought we agreed on that?" Blaine grinned.
Kurt blushed red.
"Let's get to work guys," Will said clapping his hands.
Quinn laughed lightly at how red Kurt still was, maybe this Christmas wouldn't be so bad after all.
When you lose someone you love, you find that for all the holidays you have to deal with, like the first Christmas, or the first thanksgiving, without them, is always the hardest. It's almost like they just reinforce that they're not with you to celebrate anymore. Quinn knew the first Christmas without her Pop was going to be hard, she just didn't realize it would be this hard. Every year they had gone Christmas shopping together, decorated his tree, talked about carols to which Quinn had sung for him and then walked around the neighborhood admiring the lights that people had strung on their houses. This year, she didn't even want to do any of that knowing he wasn't here.
"Mum, can I borrow the car?"
Judy looked up from where she had been file noting on the kitchen counter, "Why what's wrong with yours?"
"Low on gas," Quinn shrugged.
"Where are you going?"
"Out," Quinn responded.
Judy sighed, "I miss him too," she said as though it was exactly what Quinn had been thinking. It had been.
She bit her lip, "It's weird knowing he won't be here, it feels surreal,"
Judy laughed lightly, "You know I passed the aisle in the supermarket yesterday, where they have all the Christmas goods stacked up, I took one look at the pudding which was his favourite and I burst into tears,"
"I see everyone around all happy and decorating and I just, I don't know Mom, I just don't feel like celebrating,"
"Oh sweetheart," Judy sighed, "He wouldn't want you to feel that way,"
"I know," she replied softly, "I just do I guess,"
"Keys are on the hook," Judy nodded, "Where are you going though,"
Quinn shrugged, "Helping Kurt buy an elf costume,"
Judy snorted, "Good grief, please tell me that is not for Blaine?"
She grinned, "I guess he got a little inventive with his Christmas present,"
"You getting Rachel anything?"
Quinn paused a moment, "I want to, but I don't want it to be something ordinary, I want it …" she trailed off.
"You want it to win her back,"
Quinn stared at her mother, "You know me a little bit don't you,"
"Well," she said waving her hands, "I did give birth to you or something, you know whatever,"
Quinn laughed, "What should I do?"
"I think you two are in a good place darling, I just think it needs something for that spark to be alive again," Judy eyed her, "and I think you know what that something is,"
Quinn squirmed, "Mom I can't just do it you know, I want to, but I want it to be right, otherwise I'm just going to hurt her again,"
"You mean kiss her don't you?"
"Yes," she sighed, "It's important to me now, I don't care if we've already been that close before, and gone way further than just…" she stopped a moment, smirking as her mother had flushed, "Sorry…"
"It's fine," Judy managed, "I'm just trying to ignore all the times I thought you were both studying when clearly it wasn't the maths that was being studied…"
Quinn smirked at her mother, "I want it to be different this time, I want to kiss Rachel and for her to realize that I won't ever stop,"
"Darling you can't promise that, you're so young…"
"Mum," she responded, "Just go with this,"
Judy shuffled the papers a moment, seemingly to gather her thoughts, "You need something to do with Rachel, don't give her something from the mall or something that's just going to say oh here its Christmas have this, you know Kurt might be on to something…"
"Mother I am not dressing up as an elf…"
"I didn't say that," she argued, "I mean something that you can do with Rachel, something that will state to her how much this means to you, how much you want it to be about the both of you this time,"
Quinn's eyes glistened slightly, as an idea came to mind, "You know Mom I think you just solved my bad day, and my Christmas woes,"
Judy smiled pleased, "Good, now if only I could get your father to learn how to make the cranberry sauce properly and we'd have a nice lunch to look forward to,"
"I love you," Quinn said, "I don't say it enough but I really love you Mom,"
Judy tried to stop herself from choking up, "Oh sweetheart I love you more than life itself,"
"Oh by the way tomorrow I'm going to help out at the homeless shelter, cook some food, wrap some presents, I shouldn't be too late, we can watch some carols on TV?"
Her mother nodded, "That's wonderful of you Quinnie, I'll tell your father to get home too,"
Quinn kissed her mother's cheek lightly, before grabbing an apple and heading out towards the Lexus her mother owned. At least maybe she could pretend it was her new Christmas present. The world didn't have to know.
"BRILLIANT!" Artie said, clapping his hands together, "Now who wants to dress up as Chewbacca?"
"Chewbacca?" came Sue Sylvester's voice from the door, "You gleeks have really reached new heights, but I don't think the homeless shelter will be wanting star wars renditions, just Christmas carols," she said, "Nice ones," she added.
Artie glanced at her, "Actually Sue, we're rehearsing for a Christmas special the PBS station is running, Mr Schuester told me about this morning, we're hired!"
Quinn frowned immediately, "Wait what?"
Sue was already jumping down his throat, "You're meant to be coming to the homeless shelter this afternoon and tonight, to cook and to hand out presents?"
"We know," Finn said sheepishly, "But this is an awesome opportunity for us! And it's stars wars!"
"Okay I thought you guys were being hilarious and doing something creative for the shelter," Quinn said eyeing them all.
"I thought that's what we were rehearsing for too?" Sam said standing up.
"Evans is right," Quinn quipped, "Since when was this about the PBS station?"
"It's a wonderful opportunity to get showcased," Artie replied, "Especially considering I'm directing and I'm paying homage to both the Stars Wars holiday special and Judy Garland holiday special,"
"But this wasn't suppose to be about us," Sam replied folding his arms, "This was meant to be about helping others,"
"We can do that later," Puck brushed off.
"Yeah we'll be on TV!" Santana grinned.
Quinn shot a look at her, "You're all kidding right," she said, "You can't seriously tell me your going to walk away from people who have nothing, for a stupid spot in a TV special that no one watches?"
"Everyone in Lima watches it Quinn," Rachel said softly, "It'd be an amazing opportunity for us to showcase what we can do,"
Quinn stared at her, "Not you," she said, "Please tell me you're not agreeing with this,"
She shook her head, "No way,"
"Little B, don't go jumping to conclusions," Kurt said moving towards her.
"Conclusions? Like the fact my best friends are all materialistic fifteen minutes of fame addicts?"
"Hey," Blaine said, "We're going to be bringing cheer to viewers you know,"
"I'm leaving before I say something I regret," Quinn replied through gritted teeth.
"I'm coming with you," Sam said, "Before I high five all of your faces with the back of a chair,"
He took on after Quinn as she stomped into the hall way. Sue was already half way down the corridor.
"Ms Sylvester wait up!" He called, "We want to help!"
Quinn spun slightly to see Rachel had followed her, "Quinn please would you just listen…"
"I had more faith in you," Quinn said angrily, "Maybe the others I could let slide, but not you…"
Rachel's eyes filled with tears, "Fives…"
"No," Quinn snapped, "Only the real Rachel gets to call me that, the one I'm in love with… I don't know what you did with her, but whoever you are I don't like you…"
With that she stormed away, leaving Rachel in the corridors, as she hurried to hitch a ride with Sam.
. . .
If someone had tried to describe what a homeless shelter was supposed to look like Quinn would have probably never believed them. It felt safe here. It felt like it was a place to come to when you felt lost. She guessed that's exactly the reason why it had been built. Quinn had arrived shortly with Sam, carrying boxes of gifts to wrap. She had spent an hour or so making food prep and then one by one people had begun to drift through the doors. They were all different, some were unshaven, and looked like they'd been sleeping on the streets for years. Others were well dressed, smiling, eager to start a conversation. But the one thing Quinn noticed in all of the people, even the ones that seemed the quietest, was they all had this manner about them. And even in their situation, they were still proud and defiant.
Now she stood at a table, as Sam stood beside her unloading gifts and helping her wrap them.
"I hope these things are what they need you know," she said, "I mean sure its nice to give them a teddy bear, but I hope they get what they need to survive,"
Sam smirked, "Sometimes something to cuddle at night is good too Q,"
"I guess you're right," she replied.
He glanced at her, "Everyone's been telling me you've had a rough year, but you seem pretty good to me,"
Quinn stopped tying a bow through the present she was wrapping, "I'm good now. I think I was just stuck on focusing on everything I didn't have and none of the stuff that was good you know,"
He nodded, "We get like that sometimes, something bad happens, and then suddenly everything else is bad too,"
"Like you stuck in a storm," she whispered.
"You're not though, as horrible as it is, there'll always be someone worse off than you," he looked around, "I mean look, these guys don't even have a home,"
Quinn bit her lip, "You were so quick to volunteer here Sam," she said, "Why?"
He shrugged slightly, handing her some more paper for wrapping, "My parents got into some financial problems a while ago, we're fine now, but back then it wasn't so good,"
Quinn looked to him in interest.
"We had to downsize our house and I changed from the private school into public school, eventually we wound up here and everything's been okay so far, but sometimes on the weekends I like to come here,"
She stopped wrapping for a moment, "Wait you've been here before?"
He grinned, "Yeah few times actually, I use to help out at the homeless shelters in my old town with a few buddies, it was nice,"
"Sam, I just…"
He laughed, "Don't be so shocked Quinn, I figured I could have been just like these guys here you know, all it takes is a few wrong turns,"
She thought on this a moment, about what he had just said, and he was completely right.
"The main thing I've learnt from coming here is that homeless people are real people with amazing experiences. Sometimes you just can't believe the reasons for them being homeless, and yeah sure its really heartbreaking but there are good stories, too, you know," he handed her another gift to wrap, this time is was some shirts and socks.
"When I came here in the beginning, there was a guy that kept saying that he had his name on a housing list and that he had a job as a road sweeper. I thought it was all talk and then he came along the other week and said that he was just coming to say goodbye cause he's got himself a place," Sam grinned, "It was just so cool you know, that he came back and told us, its amazing to see that kind of stuff happen,"
"Wow," Quinn replied, "Honestly Evans I don't even know what to say,"
"You don't have to say anything Quinn, it doesn't mean I'm any less of a saint than the next guy, I just care about this kind of stuff you know,"
"More people should," she responded.
Sam sighed, "I think you're cool Quinn. I'm glad you turned your life around. You really deserve good things you know,"
Quinn stared at him a moment, "I'm trying," she murmured, "But you know what, these people deserve good things too,"
Sam nodded, "Everyone does huh,"
She nodded, she just wished that the rest of her friends had looked at it the way Sam does.
Suddenly the door opened and Rachel walked in, covered in snowflakes and holding a box. Quinn stilled. Sure enough the rest of the New Directions were right behind her.
"Well," Sue called, storming over, "Guess its better late than never,"
"We're sorry," Santana said as she held onto Brittany's hand, "How can we help,"
Sue began to direct them all to doing different things, swiping Pucks hand away from the baked food sitting on a table.
Quinn looked at Sam, "Go," he smiled, "I've got this, go sort things out with your girlfriend would you or whatever she is right now, I feel like mrs and mrs Claus are at war and its not good,"
Quinn smiled at him, squeezing his shoulder before making her way towards Rachel.
She seemed squeamish at first, as though she was too guilty to even be in the same room.
"Hi," Quinn offered.
Rachel seemed to soften, "Hi," she replied.
"What's in the box?"
"The things I bought myself for Christmas," Rachel sighed, "Barbara merchandise, an iPod, some jewelry, things I really don't need,"
Quinn looked down, "I'm sorry I yelled at you,"
"You had every right to," Rachel shrugged.
"I know but I shouldn't have been so abrupt and harsh,"
"I was selfish," Rachel said quietly, "There is no other words to describe how selfish I was being,"
"It's okay smalls, I probably would have done the same thing,"
"No you wouldn't have," she responded, "You're amazing and kind and one day I hope to be exactly like you,"
"Rachel," Quinn sighed, god she wanted to kiss her so badly right now.
"Excuse me miss," came a small voice.
Quinn and Rachel looked down at a little girl who had made his way over to them.
"You're really pretty," she said staring at Rachel, "You look like a princess,"
Rachel laughed, "I think you look like a Queen!" she grinned bending down, "What's your name?"
"Jenny," she said quietly.
"Well Jenny what do you want for Christmas?"
The little girl shrugged, "I love music, but mostly I can only listen to it by walking into the mall and listening to the speakers, I wish I had something to play my music from,"
Rachel immediately gravitated towards her, "Do you mind Barbara Steinsand?"
Quinn grinned, "Smalls I doubt she knows who that is,"
Jenny beamed, "My Mumma use to play her all the time when she was cleaning out the old house we use to have, but now the housing commissions don't really play much music,"
Rachel grasped her chest, "My girl has good taste,"
Jenny frowned slightly unsure of where she was coming from.
"How about this," Rachel said digging into the box and finding the iPod. She handed it to her. "It's already loaded with Barbra tracks,"
Jenny seemed bewildered, "But this is an iPod!"
"Exactly, it will cater to all your music needs,"
"But I can't…"
"Yes you can," Rachel replied and she pulled on her hand and placed the iPod inside, "You deserve it,"
Quinn was falling apart at the seams.
"Thank you," Jenny said, "You just made this the best Christmas ever," she hugged Rachel immediately and it was all Quinn could do not to hug her as well.
As Jenny ran off to find her parents, Rachel stood and looked at Quinn.
"Thank you," Rachel smiled.
"For being you," she whispered, "You make me want to be a better person,"
Rachel leant into her, and kissed her cheek lightly, "And for that," she whispered in her ear, "I will always try to be the person that deserves you,"
Quinn didn't let go of her, she held onto her for a while, "You amaze me," she murmured.
Suddenly someone had started playing the guitar, and Quinn looked over to where the Glee Club had been handing presents out to the people at the shelter. Puck had started strumming, prompting Sam to grab his guitar which he had brought along.
Finn came up behind him, shrugging at Sam,
"It's Christmas time,
there's no need to be afraid,
At Christmas time,
We let in light and we banish the shade,"
Mercedes linked arms with him, "And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy, throw your arms around the world, at Christmas time,"
"I love this song," Rachel whispered and she knotted her fingers through Quinn's, "But say a prayer," she sung, "Pray for the other ones, oh at Christmas time its hard, but when you're having fun,"
Kurt and Blaine stepped out from behind the Christmas tree, "There's a world outside your window and it's a world of dread and fear,"
Artie and Brittany grinned, "Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears,"
The Glee Club came together, grinning at the people in front of them, people of all different races and ages, with all one common purpose, they just wanted to have a cheerful Christmas.
And the Christmas bells that ring
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them
Instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Here's to you
Raise a glass for everyone
Here's to them
Underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
You know maybe it takes certain points in the year to realize what we should everyday. And that is to be thankful. Be thankful for the things we do have, instead of the things we don't, because chances are there is always someone less fortunate than you.
"Come Christmas tree shopping with me tonight," Quinn whispered in Rachel's ear.
Rachel drew her attention away from where Mike and Brittany had started to teach some of the kids how to dougie.
"But Fives you already have a tree,"
"No I mean tree shopping for you too,"
Rachel frowned, "Okay, I definitely already have a tree, I'd already planned what one I wanted last year,"
"Smalls," Quinn laughed, shaking her, "That's not what I'm saying,"
Her eyes grew wide for a moment, "You mean go shopping for a tree of our own?"
"Yeah," Quinn smiled this is what she wanted to do for her, "We'll get a tree for you and me, we'll keep it in my room, and we'll decorate it,"
"Our very own Christmas tree?" Rachel murmured, "As in ours, to share, between you and me,"
"Fives, you know I take Christmas tree shopping seriously,"
Quinn laughed, "I know. I took the night off,"
Rachel beamed, "You know how you said I amaze you?" she stepped closer to her, "You amaze me more,"
. . .
It had been a whole year since Quinn had visited the Christmas tree farm. Well naturally it should be, considering Christmas is really only once a year. But still, every time she came here, it just didn't seem to change. It still felt familiar, it still felt quaint and dusted with snow and wonderful.
It had been weighing on her mind the entire time Rachel had been wandering around searching for the perfect tree.
"This seems a little familiar don't you think?" Quinn asked softly, as Rachel stared at the tips of the Christmas tree.
"How do you mean?" she responded distracted.
"I mean there was a certain Christmas, where I kissed you for the first time,"
Quinn had just said it, sure it was meant to be a little bit smoother than this, and a little bit more romantic, but watching Rachel glow under the light from the lamppost was enough just to make Quinn want her more than she had ever.
Rachel stared at her, "Do you mean a certain Christmas where you attacked my lips and completely distracted me from tree shopping?"
Quinn smirked, "I vaguely remember you assaulting me back,"
"It was terrible," Rachel whispered stepping closer.
"How much did you hate it?" Quinn replied closing the space between them.
"The worst Christmas of my life,"
"This one could be worse," Quinn grinned leaning towards her.
Rachel was within inches, Quinn soaked in the familiar smell, the way she tasted, the look of her at this close proximity.
"Miss Berry!" Mr McDonald called, "Miss Berry your frosty flakes!"
"Not this time!" Rachel called continuing to stare at Quinn and ignoring Mr McDonald.
"He's not ruining my gay this time," Rachel grinned and Quinn tangled her hands through her hair and finally kissed her.
It felt like she had come home. Between Rachel's lips pulling at hers, and her tongue finding its way inside the walls of her mouth, to the way Rachel had cupped her face and was pulling her into her, like Quinn wasn't close enough. It was as though Quinn's body had finally stopped aching, as though Rachel had been the cure all along and it had just needed this kiss to realize it.
"I love you," Rachel murmured pulling away, "I'll always love and be in love with you,"
Quinn rested her forehead against hers, "I love you too," she whispered.
Just after she had said it, she felt these small little pieces fall onto both of them and litter their coats with white specks.
"Your frosty flakes!" Mr McDonald huffed, throwing the remaining of the can over the top of them.
"Gayly appreciated Mr McDonald," Rachel called after him as Quinn laughed into her neck.
"I think perhaps we're the Christmas trees now huh," she said brushing the flakes from Quinn's hair.
"Only us," she replied, and she held her close, her Christmas wish had come true.
my lovely little readers! I can't promise when I'll be able to update :/ don't hate me I'm just busy writing books... SSOA won't be over until I say THE END by the way haha
in the mean time
belikecourtney (twitter and instagram)
all my love as always! xx