Ok so is anyone else having major withdrawal from Criminal Minds? I totally am and what I've realized is that all of my shows are off right now so not cool. However I see a slight pattern in the shows I watch other than Criminal Minds. There's White Collar, Psych, Bones and Suits, Gah I need my shows!
For those who read Bits and Pieces I'm actually researching for the next chapter since they are in Disney World so I'll try and have it up soon, no promises though.
Warning: character death and the aftermath, uh fair warning I'm writing this and totally bawling my eyes out.
My chocolate god sounded so upset when he called and with good reason, Gideon was ATTACKED. I finally got to the hospital and I was the last one there. Everyone was standing around the boss man looked even more scary than usual but I knew he was just trying to hide his emotions. Emily was rubbing JJ's arm whom was already looking pretty puffy eyed. Morgan was pacing and Reid was nowhere to be seen. My heart did a flip.
"Where's Reid" I asked my voice trembling slightly. Morgan glanced up and rushed over to me hugging me tight. He tended to do that when one of our family members had been hurt.
"Hey Baby girl, we just got a nurse to find him and get us some info we don't know anything yet but" Morgan told me but he stopped and stared behind me. I turned around as did the rest of the team. Reid had just come through the double doors, his face drained of all color, a lost look on his face and I just knew before he even spoke.
"No" I whispered tears forming in my eyes.
"He, Gideon, they tried, he's, he's gone" Reid finally managed his voice filled with more pain than ever before. Morgan pulled me back to him and Hotch rushed to Reid as he collapsed where he was standing.
"God no" JJ muttered. I pulled away from Morgan's comforting shoulder to see not only JJ but Emily in tears sitting next to each other in the waiting room chairs. Time seemed to stop for a moment as I glanced around, could it really be real. He can't be gone, he just can't. A doctor walked up solemnly and Hotch turned to him, he barely managed to keep his face straight.
"I am Jason Gideon's doctor, I'm sorry but we did all we could, he had lost too much blood, he's gone" the doctor said. With those words Reid came alive.
"No your lying he can't be dead he can't, take it back" Reid screamed grabbing a hold of the doctor. Morgan let me go and pulled Reid away.
"Come on Spencer, let the doctor go" Morgan pleaded gently. Reid hung his head and went limp.
Hotch opened his mouth to apologize but the doctor held up a hand.
"No worries, I'm fine and again I'm so sorry for your loss." He said and turned around to leave.
"I have to see him" Reid cried softly and Morgan nodded.
I walked over and sat with JJ and Emily tears streaming down my face. They pulled me into a tight hug as we wept for our loss. Hotch looked around and shook his head before walking outside. I saw him grabbing his phone so I left him be for now. Our family was going to need each other and I vowed in that moment no matter what I would keep us together.
This can't be happening. Jason, god he was family. I respected the hell out of that man but I've got to keep it together for the team, especially Reid. Hell the kid calls him dad half the time. I volunteered to go back with him; I knew he couldn't do it alone. He took a deep breath before entering the room but was still quietly sniffling. As the nurse pulled back the sheet I held back my sob not wanting to make it worse for my little brother. I watched quietly as Reid ran a hand down Gideon's pale face. Reid was strangely quiet as he stared at him. Finally he spoke but his words tore my heart into pieces.
"Goodbye dad, I may have only met you when I was 16 but you're more of a father than Will ever was and I love you. I don't think I told you that enough. You pulled me through all the crap with Will and again with Melissa. I was so horrible after that and you never gave up no matter how badly I wanted you too. I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I should have been there" Reid said as tears began falling fast down his face. I pulled him away and into my own arms.
"Reid there is nothing you could have done to stop this and Jason wouldn't want you to blame yourself, come on let's go back with everyone else" I said gently. He shook his head. He grabbed onto my shirt as loud sobs shook his small frame. I practically carried him out of the room which was easier than it should have been. Thankfully there was a chair in the hallway and I sat down with him in my lap. He was too wrapped up in the pain to notice. I pulled away from him for a moment and spotted two wet spots on his shirt, I realized then that I was already crying. I shook my head to clear it but couldn't make the tears stop; I thought to hell with it and pulled Reid closer waiting out the first of many tearful storms.
I was having a rather boring evening when Hotch called and was delighted to see his name on my phone.
"Hey Aaron, how's things going?" I asked happily. He said one word but it spoke volumes.
"Dave" he said tonelessly. My heart stopped for a second I'm sure.
"Aaron what's wrong who's hurt" I asked trying to tamper down on my panic. I barely knew the team after all.
"Not hurt, Jason's gone" Hotch said his voice finally crumbling at the end. God no, this is a nightmare.
"Where are you, I'm on the way" I asked and told him it would be alright and let him hang-up. I opened my safe and grabbed a nearly forgotten envelope. I shoved it in my jacket pocket and headed out the door trying to remember all of the conversation that now seemed ages ago. It had been right after the bombing that put Gideon on leave. He'd shown up half soused out of his mind.
Dave, I need you to take this" he said as he walked unannounced through my front door.
"What the hell Jason" I'd said and he grinned.
"I know we aren't exactly close but I've seen you with Hotch so here take this" he said and shoved a yellow envelope in my hand. I started to open it and he snatched it away.
"NO, not now, hopefully not ever but if something happens to me, open this and I know you'll understand" he'd said. I took it back and nodded.
"Alright but this doesn't really mean I like you" I said and he smiled.
"Never said it did." And he walked back out to the irritated cab driver.
I shook my head to clear from the memory as I pulled into the hospital. Hotch comes first, I'll read the letter after making sure they're all ok.
I walked up to the emergency room doors where Hotch was standing in a short sleeve shirt and no jacket. I didn't have it in me to yell at him though. I simply guided him back inside and back over to the others. The three girls looked up at me startled as they each recognized me. Reid was slumped in a chair next to I'm guessing Morgan neither of them glanced up. Hotch cleared his voice obviously trying to speak. I put a hand on his knee and shook my head.
"I'm sure that everything is spinning wildly for you all right now but the best thing to do is to head out and get some sleep. I can drive you; I suggest staying with one another. I'll handle all the arrangements and keep you each posted." I said. Reid looked up at me in shock as he recognized me but miraculously they all obeyed, my guess is out of the numbing shocked state they were all in. I dropped off Morgan and Reid at Morgan's house neither had said a word except for Morgan telling me where to turn. I dropped off all three girls at I believe Garcia's place; they had been quiet as well but had talked amongst each other. I sighed and headed back to my place, eyeing Hotch the entire way. I could tell from his face he had not let himself cry and I silently cursed his father for that.
"I can just go home, Dave" he said quietly when I pulled into my driveway.
"Like hell you could that's not happening, come on let's get inside." I told him. He nodded tersely and followed me inside. He sat on the couch and sighed. I sat in the armchair nearby and waited.
"Dave, I how do they come back from this" he asked
"Slowly and together, that includes you. I know Jason was a close friend. I know you're hurting way more than your letting yourself show and I also know that if you don't let the emotions flow you'll have a breakdown or go out and do something dangerous" I told him keeping my tone light but with a hint of sternness. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I hid the small smile at the sight of him actually rubbing his eyes with his hands.
"Come on we'll figure things out in the morning." I told him and all but led him to the spare bedroom. I knew it would take more than just me telling him to let go for him to fully release his emotions so I let him be for now and would cross that bridge when it came to it.
I sat down and pulled out the wide yellow envelope.
Spencer has become my kid much like Hotch is yours and he's been through a lot as you already know. Since your reading this something has happened to me where I'm no longer there for him. Yes I know he's an adult and he's a genius. He can take care of himself but not very well. He's greatest coping skill is finding trouble. I'm not saying he's not fit to be an agent, he most definitely is but he needs someone to look out for him. I'm guessing my departure is through something FBI related and if that's the case He's going to need you even more, yeah I said you Dave. I know Hotch will look out for him and do the best he can but Spencer is going to try and shove everyone away. It will be very hard for you to get into his life, he's very stubborn another reason I chose you, that's something you too share. All I can say is too watch out for him like you would Hotch. I know that's a lot to put on your shoulders but I do think you can handle it. I've included a full background on Spencer so that you will be able to know what you need to about him. I've also included a letter for him, please make sure he reads it and doesn't tear it to pieces. Wait as long as you feel necessary before giving it to him. He will need a strong hand I guess is one way of saying it to keep him in line, just be careful with him. Thank you for actually keeping and reading this. I know he'll be alright.
Wow that was a heavy chapter; I made myself cry multiple times, sheesh. So what do you think, please let me know?