The Worst News Ever.
A/N: This is pure lulz based on a wee reminder I got recently.
It wasn't often that they got correspondence the old fashioned way. A piece of paper tucked into an envelope and mailed to them. Lance McClain was surprised to see the letter when one of the hand maidens handed it over to him. He checked the return address and blinked in confusion. Who the hell was Lynn Roberts and why was she sending him something from his hometown of Cody, Nebraska? He shrugged and opened it and began to read. His face paled when he saw what it was. Keith saw this and asked what was wrong.
"I just got the worst thing ever in the mail," Lance replied.
"Results from a paternity test?" Keith smirked, he couldn't help it.
"Ha ha, you're funny," Lance snorted. "No. The dreaded high school reunion invitation," he added, as he re-read it.
"Suddenly feeling old huh?" Keith teased, barely suppressing a chuckle.
"Just because yours was…what, five years ago?" Lance smirked back.
"I'm not old enough for my twentieth reunion," Lance whined. "You see them on TV, and everyone has greying hair and is talking about grandkids and shit."
"Exaggerating much?" Keith replied. "And mine was two years ago…not five."
"Whatever? And just because you're Asian and stopped physically aging at the age of twenty one, does not give you the right to rub it in to those of us who weren't as fortunate," Lance snarled. His hand reached for his unruly hair and he ran his fingers through it to hopefully hide any grey that was showing. "I'm just wondering who the hell this Lynn Roberts chick is," he added.
"Maybe Roberts is her married name?" Keith suggested. "Were there any girls in your class named Lynn?"
"Yeah, Lynn Baker," Lance replied. "Great set of tits t…aw damn!" he swore suddenly. "If this is her, it means she's off limits." Keith just rolled his eyes.
"So are you going to go?" Keith asked.
"I dunno," Lance replied honestly. "I mean okay, twentieth high school reunion only happens once…but what if something comes up while I'm gone?"
"Your twentieth high school reunion is coming up?" Daniel asked as he walked into the control room. "Dude! How old are you?"
"My Dad's thirty six," Daniel admitted. "You're the same age as my Dad? Damn!" Lance glared daggers at the cadet while Keith struggled in vain to keep from laughing out loud. Lance shot his commander a dirty look before smirking suddenly.
"That's okay…fearless leader here just turned thirty eight!" Daniel's eyes bugged for a moment and he was about to say something, but Lance and Keith both noticed that he engaged his brain before acting and reconsidered. "You're learning," Lance warned as he watched Daniel for a minute.
"Yeah!" Daniel grinned. "Funny you should say that. I've got a class with Hunk. See ya!" he said as he bolted for the door.
Keith reached for the invitation and read it. "So are you going or not?"
"I'll have to think about it," Lance admitted. Keith slammed his hand to his chest and mimed having a heart attack.
"This thing says the reunion is going to be in Las Vegas and you're going to think about it?" Keith choked. "Help…it's the big one!" Lance swiped the invitation back and punched Keith in the shoulder.
"Jerk." Keith just laughed as he rubbed his shoulder. Lance let his head fall and he sighed. "I have gotten responsible in my old age, haven't I?"
"You said it, not me."
Lance mulled the decision over for a month before deciding that he'd go. At the reunion he was delighted to discover that while Roberts was Lynn's married name, she was currently going through a divorce. He helped her celebrate long into the night and was deliriously happy to wake up the following morning with her ample cleavage providing the perfect pillow.