A/N: This came to me watching Smallville, and a throwaway line of one Chloe Sulliven. Assume this is set in the Smallville universe. It's short, but I hope it'll make you laugh.
Billionaires With High-Tech Toys.
They'd met before, of course, though both with their game faces on. Drunk, getting that way, or pretending to be, smiling and beaming at corporate bashes, celebrating mergers or donating generously to charity. It wasn't until Chloe Sulliven had come knocking at Bruce's door – knowing, alarmingly, everything – that Oliver had become aware of Batman's identity. The whole world knew Green Arrow's. Bruce remembered watching the broadcast (and then the interview which had followed), thinking that this was the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. He'd been proven right, as it happened. Perhaps not in the long-run, but definitely in the short run.
But working together in the new Justice League had proven a challenge for both of them. Especially since it was Bruce's money going into the half-finished space station, orbiting the Earth right now. And since Ollie had gotten used to being the irreplaceable financier, he wasn't taking it well. He'd come over to Wayne Manor to talk it out, like adults, man to man.
Somehow talking it out had turned into heavy drinking and poker. Somehow behaving like adults had turned into them acting like children. And somehow man to man had turned into a ridiculous game of one-upmanship, that they weren't even playing with money anymore.
Bruce slapped a card down on the table without knowing which card it was. He squinted. Possibly an ace. Possibly of spades. "I see your secret compartment of toys and I raise you a cave full of toys."
Ollie looked unimpressed, and only mirrored the movement. "I see your obscure martial arts and I raise you a custom-made bow, accurate – in my hands, naturally – to within a half an inch of the bullseye, as well as arrows which are also designed specifically for a huge range of purposes." Smiling smugly, he took another swig of bourbon. Which incidentally was the source of tonight's problem.
Bruce smirked. "I see your Robin Hood play equipment and I raise you batarangs and bolos. Accurate to within… Well, completely accurate in my hands. As well as the grappling hook, of course."
"I see your grappling hook and I raise you a zip line which fits in my belt. Perfect for flying around my city," Oliver chuckled.
"I see your zip line and I raise you the batwing."
"I see your batwing and I raise you an MTT Streetfighter superbike."
"I see your push bike, and I raise you a batmobile."
For a moment, Green Arrow paused, a small frown on his face. Bruce possibly had him there. No one could deny that they wanted a batmobile of their own, whether you were a street bum or one of the richest men in America. And that included him. His face cleared though, as he remembered something he'd read in the tabloids that morning.
"I see your personal shopper, and I raise you a chauffeur and a Michelin-starred chef."
Bruce only raised an eyebrow, and his voice was brimming with triumph when he replied, "I see your chauffeur – and your Michelin-starred chef – and I raise you an Alfred."
Ollie scowled. Something else he couldn't beat. "I see your city's crime rates, and I raise you mine. Which are much lower, by the way."
"Remind me how many people live in Star City? About three million less than live in Gotham?" Bruce asked, unimpressed. "In any case, I see your national company, and I raise you a multinational corporation."
"I see your multinational corporation and fancy office building, and I raise you a penthouse with the best view on the west coast."
"I see your penthouse apartment, and I raise you an ancestral manor house."
Suddenly Ollie smiled, knowing he'd won with this next one. Thinking about Chloe always brought a smile to his face, but now she was going to win him the game. "I see your manor house, and I raise you the most beautiful blonde in the world."
Batman only smiled. "I see your beautiful blonde, and I raise you an Amazon princess."
A/N: Review please!