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Bucket List by A Who Down in Whoville

TV » Doctor Who Rated: T, English, Romance & Drama, 10th Doctor Duplicate & Rose T., Words: 650, Favs: 39, Follows: 1, Published: 9-19-11
13

"Do you have a bucket list?"

"What's the point? I've seen the end of the Earth, been shot by a cannon-whatsit through the Void, received a call on my mobile from the Devil and married a man literally created just for me? No, not really in need of a bucket list."

"I do. I only have one life this go-round, Rose."

"You really have a bucket list?"

"Yep."

"What's at the top of it then?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Let me guess: find the perfect banana cream pie?"

"Nope."

"Um, see the sunrise from the top of K2?"

"Nope. Not even close."

"Hint?"

"You're thinking too far from home."

"Just tell me, already."

"I really want to be a dad."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"That's it."

"Yep."

"Aren't you afraid? Of being a dad?"

"Absolutely terrified."

"I really worry about our jobs. It's so dangerous. What if one of us doesn't come home some night 'cuz we get shot by an alien, or-"

"What if the lady who runs the corner bakery is hit by a bus? What if our postman falls into a ditch and hits his head and never wakes up? Rose, we can't live our lives by what ifs. I did that for 900-some-on years and look where it got me? Not only alone, but regretful."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember outside of the chip shop with Sarah Jane? The Krillitane?"

"Yeah... how could I forget. The wither and die speech..."

"Exactly."

"But I get it now. I understand. To always see the ones you love waste away... and go on without them?"

"But, love, it's okay to hurt. It helps you know you are alive. Trying to keep yourself insulated from pain, well, you just end up the walking dead. Had I been honest with myself and with you, at least I'd have had the memory of us together. "

"But don't you think you have a different perspective than he does? You've only got one life. Maybe 70 more years? 80? He has hundreds, if not thousands left. That's an awful long time to carry around a memory of someone you loved and lost."

"But, Rose, remember, he regenerates. His personality changes. His everything changes. You are special to him, yes, but you were also there when I changed. Both times. When he got this face, he was made for you. When he halted his regeneration, he did that for you, too. But next time he regenerates, you won't be there. At least I don't think you'll be there. To be honest, I hope you aren't there, because this me is pretty damn selfish and that would be mean you weren't with me. And I don't know that he will have the same intensity of love for you that I do now."

"Really? Oh."

"You don't like to hear that do you?"

"No, not really. I'm selfish too."

"I'm not saying he won't love you, Rose, but he probably won't carry the pain of your loss so deeply."

"I suppose that's good, right?"

"Yeah. That's good."

"But what if we had, you know, properly been together? Before I got stuck here? How would it have been better for him? Wouldn't it have been even worse?"

"I don't think so. First of all, nothing would have changed. He couldn't possibly have missed you any more than he did, so no, it wouldn't have been worse."

"What does this have to do with your bucket list again?"

"It has everything to do with my bucket list. I'm not going to waste a single day of this one life that I have with you Rose. So is that test done yet?"

"Yeah. It's positive."



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